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Here we go!

Chapter 2

She slept soundly on a cot and dreamed with the return to home. Evidently her courage and stubbornness played a dirty trick on her because in her desire to help people she got into the hell and could not see the time to get out of there.

"Shelagh"

She heard Sister Julienne's soft voice and felt a slight shake on her shoulder.

"What…?" with her fingers she looked for her glasses on the floor.

"They need you, soldiers from the front arrived, the fire continues and there are many, and...Shelagh did you eat last night?"

"No, I was too tired for that. Why?" she said, getting to her feet.

"It's better that you haven't done it"

x

She understood what Sister Julienne meant to say when she saw the soldiers. However, although she did not eat all day, it was impossible to stop her stomach and now she was outside vomiting as she had never done in her life and with tears in her eyes.

"Please, God…" she said in a whisper, coughing and wiping her mouth with a handkerchief.

"Are you ok?" she heard a voice behind her.

"No! I'm not ok!" she shouted angrily and saw Dr. Turner beside her.

"I know how you feel. If you want, you can leave it. I'll make you a certificate that says you're sick and you can go home"

"No, it would not be honest. I must bear it, but this is so horrible. I shouldn't have come but I wanted to do it. I imagined it would be awful because everyone in London said it but I didn't think it would be...this. So many men killed and in that way, some burned with those things..."

"They are chemical substances"

"Whatever. It's a horror and-" the memory of what she saw made her nausea come back and again she bent down. She felt him hold the hair she tied in the rush when she got up.

"You'll think I'm the most useless nurse in the world for vomiting when I see blood."

"I vomited many times and I don't assure you not to continue doing it. Everything gives too much impression and the school didn't prepare us for this. I have to return. Will you be all right, Shelagh?"

"Yes," she coughed two more times and then wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand, "I´ll go with you, doctor".

x

It had been hours since her attack and she continued to work tirelessly. No more soldiers had arrived, so Sister Julienne had sent her to care for those who had no serious injuries. She did not like being looked at as a person to be protected, but Sister Julienne always seemed aware of her well-being and was perhaps the only person to pay attention to her. Besides . She could not stop admiring him. It was rare for a man to say that he wanted to leave the war, much less a doctor who admitted to vomiting when he saw wounded or dead. He seemed to never sleep, and he did not stop working even for those who had no hope of salvation, and that was something she had never seen in other doctors. Also, there was something about him that intrigued her: when they prayed with the other doctors, nurses and soldiers, he would always go outside to smoke and return when the prayer was over. She wondered if he would be Jewish.

"Nurse," said one of the soldiers. She smiled at him, he was the only one who seemed animated. He had several wounds but he would recover soon and he would be sent home.

"Smith, how are you?"

"I'm fine, but…Will you have some whiskey?"

She giggled and the soldier too.

"I'm sorry, Smith, there's only ethyl alcohol here and it's for your comrades wounded, not for drinking. You'll have whiskey soon enough when you return to Wales, don't you? "

The soldier laughed and nodded.

"You recognized my accent, eh?"

"Of course" she smiled again and began to heal the wounds on another soldier's leg. She frowned, the soldier did not have shrapnel wounds but he did have trench feet in an advanced state.

Suddenly she heard someone drown and saw Smith convulsing.

"Smith!" she ran to him and loosened his clothes, "Doctor, please!"

Turner came in an instant but after a couple of seconds, Smith was dead in his arms.

"What happened to him?" Shelagh asked, trying to stop her tears.

"Sincerely I don't know"

"He was going back to Wales soon," she whispered, closing the soldier's eyes.

"At least he laughed a little with you before he died," Turner said, looking at her. She shook her head.

"That was good for nothing" she closed her eyes and began to pray a prayer for Smith's soul. Shelagh heard the doctor stood up and walked away, "Doctor?"

"You're praying, I don't want to interrupt you"

"You can join me"

"I'm sorry, I don't pray"

She closed her eyes again and finished her prayers. Then she kissed Smith's forehead and covered his face with a sheet.

"Doctor?" she said, following him in a corridor of beds.

"Now what, Mannion?"

"Sorry, I didn't want to bother you"

"What's happen?"

"It was nothing," she said, frightened. He stopped walking and looked at her.

"Now tell me, I haven't time"

"It…It was just ...Why don't you pray? I mean, we could just pray for Smith…Are you Jewish?"

"I'm nothing," he said after a silence, "I don't think there is one or several Gods, so I don't pray. It's my opinion, of course, that doesn't mean I'm right. Some believe, like you, and others don't, like me."

"But God…"

"Oh come on, don't give me lessons!" she stepped back, frightened. "If there was God he would not let this place exist and you not would be crying and vomiting around!"

He threw his list of patients on a table and walked outside and Shelagh stood there, not knowing what to do, feeling for the first time that she doubted her faith.