iGet Kicked Out (And My Best Friend Hates Me)
So what is Sam Puckett to do?
Disclaimer. I still don't own iCarly or any related stuff.
Chapter Two: Okay, What the Heck Just Happened?
Sam blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice.
Knock? I don't knock! She thought to herself. Yes. Sam Puckett does not knock on doors. There are three things she does that can be called "knocking on doors" on her book: pick the lock, just go inside, or kick down the piece of wood. Poor piece of wood. Had to face the wrath of Sam. Of course, Sam knocked on doors sometimes. She knocked on Carly's door, or the comfort room, or the principal's office. But she never knocked on Freddie Benson's door.
No need to knock, she told herself and just opened the door. Sam never did pay attention to people going through the doorway, so she barged right in, confident that the ham will be all hers to gobble up. It smelled good. And she doubted that Mrs. Benson cooked this. They probably bought it someplace. Ham Haven, perhaps?
Well, Sam was too lost in thought to even notice that Freddie was going the opposite way, and (unfortunately for Freddie), they crashed into each other. Sam lost her footing and fell backward. Freddie lost his and fell on Sam. And if that wasn't bad enough for the both of them, Freddie was actually holding the ham Sam longed for very much and it flew into the air, right across the hall, thumped on the Shay's door, made Carly peek out through the viewing hole and, seeing that the two were in a very delicate position right now, made Carly faint. Spencer didn't notice her sister lying on the floor in a crumpled heap six hours after, when he decided to get some food.
Back to Sam and Freddie.
It took Sam a few seconds to realize who was on top of her. On top of her. Sam struggled under Freddie's weight. Freddie was on top of her because of some unfortunate mishap, and Sam was under Freddie because she didn't bother to knock. But what's worse than him being on top of her, or Carly seeing them in the hallway lying down just like that? Well, for Sam, it would have been the ham gone to waste. But they kissed. Well, almost. It was more of a 'their-lips-accidentally-brushed-each-other' kind of thing. But anything that remotely resembles a kiss would have been bad enough. So Sam kissed- ALMOST kissed - Freddie. And vice versa.
Hurriedly, they got off their precarious position, dusted their clothes. Sam gave Freddie a death stare, but Freddie looked blank. Really blank. In a creepy sort of way.
"You have five seconds to apologize to me, Fredweird, before I start ripping your arm off," Sam threatened.
"I have to apologize? But you were the one who didn't knock on the door!"
"Since when do I knock on the door?"
Freddie stopped. Oh, right.
"Look, Sam, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I got on top of you accidentally, and I'm so sorry your ham flew away," Freddie said, scratching his head. He wasn't up for a fight. The New Year's coming and he was determined to change. At least, get mature enough to understand Sam's... differences.
"You better be sorry or- wait, what do you mean my ham?"
"That one. It's supposed to be yours. Mom stocked up on ham and chicken and other meat products for some reason this week, and I figured if I can give you ham, you'd at least be appeased or something." And maybe you'd be a lot kinder to me and stop getting me in a headlock every four minutes, Freddie thought.
"And why would you, of all people, would give me something as nice as ham?"
"Look, I'm just trying to be kind here. I heard you were kicked out by your mom because you practically blew up your house into oblivion, and I heard Carly won't let you in until you fix everything up, so I took the initiative to at least give you something to eat."
Sam knocked Freddie's head.
"Wait. Why are you doing this? What's happened to you all of a sudden?"
"Sam, I'm just being kind to you," Freddie reasoned.
The world's gone wack, that's it. It's not reasonable anymore. Carly hates me, mom doesn't believe me, and Freddie's kind to me. Next thing I'd know, Lewbert is sane.
A crash down the lobby, and Lewbert screamed. "RATS IN MY LOBBYYYY!"
Okay, Sam thought. Scratch that. Lewbert is still insane. At least something's right in this world.
She picked up the ham on the floor and started eating, watched by the seemingly disgusted Freddie. Oh, yeah. This ham's right too.
Sam tore the meat, and in between mouthfuls, she managed to say, "I'll stay in your apartment tonight, whether you like it or not" to Freddie. He nodded, scared that Sam might actually rip his arm out if he refused. And besides, his mom was out. For the night. She was with her parents, and was initially hesitant at leaving her son behind. But she got next door neighbor's Mrs. Jones to promise that she'll look after Freddie. Mrs. Jones is the most forgetful old woman on their floor. She slept all day and woke up at night to watch wrestling, and never remembered her promise to Mrs. Benson.
"Get out of the way," Sam said as she swallowed the ham. She pushed Freddie out of the doorway and crashed to the couch. She grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, put her legs on the table and obnoxiously threw away all the 'ineffient' parts of the ham. Freddie closed the door and looked at Sam like she was some sort of hobo who broke into his house.
"Sam," Freddie started. "Would you mind keeping everything neat and clean? I wouldn't want my mom to freak out."
"Uh, no. And, by the way, your mom ALWAYS freaks out."
"Whatever. I'll be in my room."
"Bah. Suit yourself, nerd," she said. Then, "do you have a can of soda there?"
"Knock yourself out." Freddie pointed to the fridge.
Freddie spent the next hour and a half in his room, using his computer. He almost forgot about Sam, until he recounted the days events and remembered their unfortunate encounter in the hallway. Freddie had to be honest with himself - he liked that. The 'lips-accidentally-brushing-each-other' thing. He smiled, remembering the kiss they shared down at the fire escape. They did it just to get it over with. But was it really just to get it over with? He mentally slapped himself and decided to check on Sam, fervently hoping that it wasn't their couch that was on fire next.
"Sam."
Snore.
"Sam!"
Still snoring.
"Wake up, Sam."
Sam was sprawled on the couch like an uncivilized female caveperson, mouth open, ham still in her hands. The TV was now showing a cooking show, and was probably the last thing Sam saw before she fell asleep based on the things she'd been muttering.
Freddie sighed. He'd have to clean up the living room because of the mess Sam caused, so he decided to carry the girl to his room (he definitely didn't want a trace of Sam Puckett in his mom's room). It took him a few minutes to do so (Sam wasn't a light sleeper, but she wasn't one to stay put while sleeping, either), and when he finally did have Sam on his bed, he felt like his back was broken. So he decided to sit down and look at previous iCarly stuff. He clicked on an untitled clip, and it started playing "Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie." Freddie loved this clip so much. Carly looked so funny, and for the first time ever, Gibby looked nice. Well, a little bit. But Sam.
Darn it. Get a grip, Freddie.
He admitted it to himself - Sam was a great actress, and if she made more effort to be girlier, she'd actually be attractive. Again, Freddie mentally slapped himself. But it was true, wasn't it?
Freddie got up, obviously not liking how things were turning out. He becomes kind to Sam and he starts getting all these uncalled for thoughts. He looked at sleeping Sam one more time before going out, and had the incredible urge to lie down beside her and hug her. Or kiss her. Freddie frowned in disgust. He went to the living room, turned off the TV, picked up the messy stuff, threw everything in the garbage can and went back to his room. And there was Sam again, sleeping, yet beautiful. Like an angel. Riiiight.
Freddie sat down on his bed, looking at Sam. Like the normal teenage boy that he was, hormones raged inside him.
Kiss her!
No way!
Take the chance to kiss her! It's not like she's gonna feel anything.
But that's Sam, he reason to himself. This is stupid.
JUST TO GET IT OVER WITH, FREDDIE.
Hmph.
He eyed Sam cautiously. Sam, who bullied him everyday. Sam, who made him feel worse than he already was. Sam, who wanted to hurt him in every way imaginable. Sam, who stole his lunch money. Sam, who broke into his house and told his mother he'd been hanging out with hobos. Sam, who told the world that he hasn't kissed a girl yet. Sam, his first kiss.
"GAH!"
He lied down on his bed with a thump, and moved just in time before he landed on Sam. He turned sideways and watched her breathe peacefully. Sam. Freddie sat up again and leaned closer to Sam. He brushed off a few strands of hair from her face and looked at her long enough for him to actually get the courage to kiss her again. This time, a real kiss. Not the brush-your-lips thing. More of a kiss like the one they shared in the fire escape.
He leaned down slowly. Slowly. Savoring the moment. And finally, at the last second, he got to kiss Sam. A feeling of happiness washed over him, a feeling he'd treasure for the rest of his life. Good that he'd do so, since the next second, Sam was strangling him.
"What the heck are you trying to do, Freddie?"
"I was just-"
"You were just kissing me, dork!" She threw him across the room. He crashed to the wall.
"I'm sorry, I just... I thought..."
"You thought you could take advantage of me while I was sleeping?"
"No!"
Sam grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up until they were face to face. They were so close to each other that Sam could hear his heart beat fast enough to beat any self-respecting quick-footed superhero in a race. afraid.
"Better get ready, Benson. I'll give you the worst beating of your life."
Freddie closed his eyes in fear. Sam could do ANYTHING to him. She could throw him out of the window, she could mess up his room and bury him under all the stuff, she could have him in a headlock until he passes out, she could break his arm, tease him in school for wearing underpants with namese and days of the week on it (I hope she didn't mess with my drawers, he thought), and probably be her slave for a week. But he didn't get what he expected. Sam pushed him to the wall and kissed him. On the lips. KISSED HIM. Oh, was that unexpected. And weird. For Sam, anyway. She actually thought of what she was doing, but the deed was being done and there wasn't any way to take it back. She liked his kisses, anyway. Even if he was a dork.
And it lasted for what seemed to be an eternity to the both of them before Sam decided to break the moment.
"Tomorrow," she finished. She gave him an evil smile and threw him back to the floor. "Thanks for the ham, dork," she said as she proceeded to the door.
"Sam, wait!" Freddie scrambled up, but halfway through his attempt, his back became painful.
"Tomorrow, Fredward."
Sam closed the door behind her.
I wanted a sweeter kiss, Freddie thought grimply to himself, remembering their encounter in the fire escape. It would've been so much better if I knew that Sam won't actually push through with the beating up part.
A/N: Second chapter. I get on with these things fast. This story is one chapter short, since I'll have to include another scene. Well, as I've said, the more the merrier, right?
