Forgot to add that I do not own Dragon Age Origins or its characters. Only my little made up plot.

Enjoy!

-SerenityxGarrus


CHAPTER 1:The Harrowing

Inside she was a wreck. Her palms were sweating and sweat was forming on her brows. She stood stock still in front of the tall, arched oak door. She blew a breath that let her bangs flutter. Behind this door was what will determine her fate. Where she would become a mage or an…

Abomination.

She swallowed hard. Sweat finally rolled down her brows and into her eyes, stinging them. Her heart rate increased and it felt as though it would explode in her chest. Her hands started to shake. She balled them into fists to alleviate the shake. She felt heat shoot throughout her body making her start to fan herself. She blew puffs of breaths as though someone were sucking the life out of her. As if she was suffocating.

"Lady Amell?"

She felt his hand on her shoulder and for a moment she felt as though she might cry. She was afraid. She looked at the door again. All she had to do was go through this door and everything will come out alright.

But that was her problem.

One thing was saying it in her mind as a mantra but another was to make her body move. To make her hand grab the doorknob and open the door and walk inside the room.

She shut her eyes tight as her stomach made a flip that made her feel nauseated.

"Yes?"

She felt her shoulder being squeezed gently in silent support.

'Don't look at him. Whatever you do, do not look at him!' Her mind hissed.

If she just looked at him, it would soften her resolve and run. She didn't want to do this.

"You can do this." He said softly.

Oh how she wanted to believe that. How she wanted to feel confident the way she always have in her classes, showing off her talents. But this was a whole new scale for her. This was life or death. Literally.

She took a deep breath to compose herself. Closed her eyes and slowly let the breath out along with her eyes slowly opening. She nodded and grabbed the doorknob. The hand on her shoulder left and she instantly missed the contact. She opened the door and stepped in.

Her eyes took in her surroundings. The harrowing chamber was grand. Beautiful decorated windows in different shades of color put together that looked like a burst of rainbows. Like the ones her and Jowan read when they were little. Her eyes widen in awe and she felt calm.

Around the circular, grand room were small metal pedestals where lyrium would be found. The floor was very polished and it shined beautifully that she could see herself, as if looking at a mirror.

She looked at the center of the room where numerous templars were gathered in a circle and First Enchanter Irving was chatting with Knight-Commander Greagoir. When she approached they stopped talking and looked at her.

Irving came to her and held her shoulders. Guiding her towards the lone podium that glowed brightly. Suddenly her body tingled. It was humming or singing the more closer she got to the podium.

'I can do this.' Her mind repeated to her.

"Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him. Thus spoke the prophet Andraste as she cast down the Tevinter Imperium, ruled by mages who had brought the world to the edge of ruin." Recited Greagoir.

His eyes showed sympathy and a small hint of fear.

"Your magic is a gift, but it's also a curse, for demons of the dream realm - the Fade - are drawn to you, and seek to use you as a gateway into this world."

She swallowed.

"This is why the Harrowing exists."

She looked at Irving as he did not leave her side or left her shoulders.

"The ritual sends you into the Fade, and there you will face a demon, armed with only your will."

"O-Only my w-will?" Panic settled in her stomach.

'Do I have that will to make it?'

"Irving. I have a question if I may." She spoke softly.

He gave a nod to let her continue.

"What-What if I cannot defeat this, uh, demon?"

Before Irving could reply, Greagoir shook his head.

"It will turn you into an abomination and the templars-" Greagoir gestured to the templars. "Will be forced to slay you. Honestly, you know this. You didn't prepare all these years just for you to forget it all." He raised a brow in annoyance.

Irving glared at him. "Honestly Greagoir. How do you expect for her to succeed if you say things like that?"

"I'm only stating the obvious answer." He glared back.

"Anyway." Irving gestured with his hand to the lone podium. "This is lyrium."

He slowly guided her towards the lone podium that glowed brightly as they got closer.

"This is the very essence of magic and your gateway into the Fade." He turned for her to face him directly as he held her at arms length.

"The Harrowing is a secret out of necessity, my child." He said softly but his eyes harden with every word. His face creased to show seriousness.

"Every mage must go through this trial by fire. As we succeeded, so shall you." He poked her by where her heart was located.

She looked down. He lifted her chin to make her look at him. His eyes showed wisdom beyond his years. He looked serene and calm but through those expressive grey eyes, he showed comfort, adoration and love like a father were to a child.

"Keep your wits about you and remember the Fade is a realm of dreams. The spirits may rule it, but your own will is real." He whispered.

Greagoir grabbed her elbow and gently tore her away from Irving.

"The apprentice must go through this test alone, Irving." Greagoir looked at her and sighed.

"You are ready."

He let her go as he gestured with his chin to go ahead. She took a deep breath and walked slowly the rest of the way towards the podium. She cringed slightly as she heard her boots clicking loudly on the polished marbled floor. Her heart beating wildly with every step she took.

She stood in front of it. It glowed brightly as she was in front of it. Her body was singing asking her to touch it. To unleash her full power to it. She looked up. She had the biggest urge to do so and her eyes found the only yellow-honey eyes staring at her with warm, understanding eyes. His smile was soft and that made her heart flutter.

'I can do this!'

She believed it as she touched the glowing substance. Her heart burst with energy as every vein lit up. She twirled her hand as the lyrium spread through her like a wild fire. She was completely glowing before her world turned dark.

0-0-0-0

The air felt stiff. Blank. She woke up. Her eyes looking at the suppose sky. It was lifeless.

Empty.

She got up slowly. Her eyes widen as she took in her surroundings. Everything was moving very slowly or shifting. She looked at her hands and it felt as though she were an apparition, a ghost. She turned around. She was atop a hill overlooking a brown, stone path. Near the edge was a strange statue. It looked to be human with a hat with… bunny ears? and long… sharp sticks?

She closed her eyes and shook her head trying to remove the disturbing image. She looked to the side of the disturbing statue and saw a vase. She ran towards it but fell back on her bottom as a shimmering orb came out of it, scaring her half to death. But instead of being afraid of her, it approached her and circled around her. Suddenly she felt calm and better.

She slowly got up. Keeping the orb in her sights.

"I wonder what you do?"

She tilted her head to side in curiosity as she reached out to touch it. Her hand went through it. She took her arm back and tried again but it came with the same result. Although she was suspicious of it, at the moment it made her feel calm and in control. She shrugged and walked forward towards the brown dirt road she saw.

She analyzed the road. It seemed to go on for miles and the landscape kept shifting, changing. She started to walk, following its trail. She went up a hill and suddenly twisted branches appeared from beneath the road. She became afraid and ran. She didn't see where she was going and went through a portal that had purple swirls.

She looked back but the swirls were gone and the road she was walking through was gone as well. She turned around and a new path laid before her but had the same brown dirt path. She drew in a long breath and walked ahead. The orb seemed to understand her anxiety and snuggled against her. Making her feel calm instantly.

She looked around at the arched and burned buildings. She crossed her arms to hug herself. She started to rub her arms as suddenly the temperature dropped. The place started to become dark until she couldn't see where she was going. Only the orb that was with her was glowing as bright as it could to help her see the road.

Snap.

She stopped and turned.

"What was that?"

Snap.

She turned around. Every bone in her body tensed. Her heart accelerated and all she heard was the blood being rushed through her ears. Her fingers started to become aglow in blue trying to find the source of the sound.

Snap. Snap. Snap.

She turned. Her eyes wide with fear as red eyes were seen in the darkness. Then more red eyes followed. She ran and soon a howl followed.

She pushed herself to run faster as she heard the wolves howling, communicating with each other. The way their jaws would snap as they snarled at her, trying to keep up with her. The orb beside her glowed as bright as it could to illuminate her way.

But it wasn't enough. She was corned as she hit a wall. She touched the wall in panic, looking around for another way or if she could get over it by climbing, but there was none. She turned around. Her back flushed against the cool wall. The wolves were slobbering, licking their lips. Ready to pounce and devour her. She shut her eyes tight. Ready to admit defeat.

Armed with only your will.

Her eyes snapped open when the orb shot out fire. The place became brighter and she could see the wolves were ghostly white. They whined as they backed away slightly. The orb kept going.

Keep your wits about you and remember the Fade is a realm of dreams. The spirits may rule it, but your own will is real.

She step forward. Her eyes narrowed as her hands started to glow blue. She closed her eyes as she twirled her hands and in one fluid motion, she shot her arms outwards. Suddenly the wolves were frozen in place. She twirled her hands again as her hands glowed white and she felt rejuvenated with mana.

"Well done."

She turned to the orb as it changed into a staff with a spear at the tip. The top of the staff had an oval jewel surrounded in vines. The staff was made of wood with a red ribbon wrapped around it to the hilt of the spear. She twirled it and looked at the frozen wolves as the ice started to melt.

She let out a battle cry and used the spear end to cut through the wolves. They shattered. She turned around and was shocked to see that there were no bodies. The wolves disappeared as if they were never there and suddenly the place was bright once more.

A portal beside her opened up. She looked at her staff before she stepped through the portal and almost screamed.

"Someone else thrown to the wolves. As fresh and unprepared as ever."

She brought a hand to her mouth to stop her from screaming as her other hand was laid on her chest, trying to calm her racing heart. The staff fell with a loud thud onto the floor, slowly rolling away from her.

"It isn't right that they do this, the templars. Not to you, me, anyone."

She pointed to the rodent that apparently was talking to her.

"You're a t-talking r-rat!"

"Well of course I am." The rat snapped. Suddenly it shifted before her. "Forgive me. I seem to forget that not many know of the way we can shape shift when we have been in the Fade forever."

He was human. Brown hair, green eyes, white skin. Had the same robes every apprentice wears within the circle. Except his were red. His eyes looked haunted and sad. He had bags under his eyes of
probably days of not sleeping, adding a dark look to him.

He sighed heavily as he looked at his hands. "Its always the same." He looked at her with sympathy. "But it's not your fault. You're in the same boat I was, aren't you?"

"Um… yes?" She just blinked.

She felt the need to guard herself or stay on guard. It is true that many mages dream and end up in the fade, but this was different. And to see shape shifting so... casually was another thing entirely.

The rat or human, continued to rant. She was half listening and the other half looking around discreetly to watch her back.

The human sighed deeply. "We should go on ahead. But word of advice. You should seek help before you face your doom." He said ominously.

"And where is this, uh, demon?" She swallowed as she looked at her staff a way off the road.

When she didn't get a response, she turned to look at him only to feel, creepy. The human smiled at her. But his smile was not normal. She didn't know if it was for the way he looked but the smile was unsettling.

"You will know. You will feel him."

He shape shifted into a rat again. The thought that she would feel the demon, sent a chill up her spine and sent the hair on the back of her neck to stand on end. Panic settled in her stomach again and she felt like she was going to vomit. Fear gripped her heart and her mind was going into a slight turmoil.

Keep your wits about you...

She drew in a deep breath to calm her nerves. She turned to look at her staff and went to grab it. Once she had the wooden staff in her hand, she relaxed. She felt calm. In control again.

"Thank you." She whispered to the staff and in turn, it glowed softly. It was as if it knew what she said and responded to her thanks.

She turned to the rat with new found determination to finish this and see this through. Another portal appeared before her. She bend to pick the rat and place him on her shoulder.

"What should I call you?" She asked the rat as she turned to look at the portal again.

"Mouse. Call me Mouse."

She nodded as she went through the portal and the place changed and again, the road behind her was no more.

"Another put to the test I see."

Vivianna jumped at the new voice. She whirled around with her staff aimed and positioned in front of her with her hands glowing blue.

"Calm yourself!" Demanded the spirit or apparition in front of her.

She slightly relaxed but was still tense. The spirit scrutinized her before his eyes landed on her companion perched on her shoulder, shaking like a leaf from fear.

"I see." The spirit took a deep breath. "Parlathan, why have you chosen her?" He demanded.

Vivianna monetarily slacked and looked around to see who he was talking to.

"Who are you talking to?" She asked as she finished analyzing her surroundings to find this Parlathan.

Her pale green eyes looked at the spirit clad in templar armor when he did not respond to her. She opened her mouth to ask again but closed it once she followed his eyes. Which landed to her hand that held her staff.

The staff slowly started to glow. It's light getting brighter making Vivianna close her eyes and turn her head slightly away from the light. Once it's light died down she opened her eyes and turned to see the glowing orb.

"Because this one is pure." The orb responded. His voice ghostly. Haunted.

"You have said that for many." The spirit huffed.

"No…" The orb gave a long pause. "This one is… worthy…"

The spirit turned to look at her and unsheathe his sword and shield from his back.

"Then let me see this… worth that you see in her!"

Vivianna was unprepared when the spirit cried out and rushed at her. The spirit bashed her and she fell hard on the floor. The wind knocked out of her. She was slightly dizzy before she rolled out of the way as the spirit's sword plunged down into the dirt.

'That could have been me!' She cried out in her mind.

"Have you gone mad?!" She yelled at the spirit as he pulled his sword from the ground.

"You don't know anything child. Parlathan is not just any staff or orb! If he finds you worthy, then I must see this, for I am its keeper!" The spirit roared as he made another dash to her.

Out of panic and fear she unleashed cone of cold and froze the legs of the spirit. She closed her eyes and a shield made from the fade engulfed her. Her eyes changed from pale green to pure white. The spirit gasped as he was thrown across the space into a wall as she used mind blast. The spirit groaned and only had a second to look up before a stone fist was an inch away from his face.

"I don't know what is going on. But I do know that I need to finish my harrowing. And you are in my way!" Her voice was not her own. It was between high and low and almost hollow. Otherworldly.

The spirit nodded and the spell was gone along with her shield vanished. Vivianna collapsed and mumbled 'rejuvenate' to replenish her energy.

"Parlathan chose well. But word of advice." The spirit began as he got up from his position.

Vivianna slowly got up to face him. Her hands glowing blue.

"Be careful who you trust." His eyes landed on the rat who came from her pocket by her belt.

Vivianna narrowed her eyes out of suspicion and confusion. A whoosh sound was heard behind her and she turned to see a portal open. She turned back around only to see the orb turn into the staff and floating in front of her. She grabbed it and held the staff to her chest as she backed away from the spirits place. He turned from his fire only to see her look at him and vanished into the purple swirls.

"Guide her Parlathan. She is indeed worthy. But would it be enough to save her from her doom?"

0-0-0-0

"I feel heavy." Said the used to be Mouse.

He was now a big brown bear thanks to a Sloth demon they encountered on the other side of the portal. She had to answer three riddles to make the lazy demon help mouse be brave. Or feel brave by being something bigger.

She smiled at mouse and the way he was excited. But her mind continued to replay the spirit's words over and over in her mind.

"Be careful who you trust."

His white ghastly eyes zeroed in on Mouse. But the more she looked at the man who was now a bear, the more she was confused. So far, Mouse has helped her and in turn she wanted to help him. And maybe find a way to get him out of this dreadful prison.

'Great. Now I sound like Jowan.' She rolled her eyes at that thought.

Though the fade actually is a prison. Those who don't complete the Harrowing or take to long, were cut down for fear that maybe they were an abomination just waiting for the final transformation. Even if she never got out to smell the air or run around in the rain, Kinloch Hold was her home. The fade was a place devoid of any life.

'No wonder many turn insane.' She thought as her bright green eyes looked at Mouse.

"We should keep moving." She told Mouse.

"Right."

Another portal opened. She approached the portal and suddenly stopped. She gripped her staff tighter as her body wouldn't move.

"It's a demon… isn't it?" Asked Mouse.

She didn't answer.

'Is this what it feels like?' She wondered.

She felt a heavy presence of evil. It felt as though it was sucking the air out of her as she tried to breathe normal but she was breathing deeply trying to get air in her lungs. Her body temperature dropped and she was starting to shake and at the same time she was hot and sweating. She felt exhausted as if her energy had been sucked out of her. She felt weak and nearly collapsed by the evil energy that emanated from the portal.

"You have to move." Mouse encouraged.

She nodded and used the staff as support to drag herself into the portal. And there was her test. All of what she went through for this. It was moving as if it was slime. It was made of fire as it roamed around cackling as it set the trees, animals and such, on fire. Hearing the animals panic and move away from harm caused a stir of anger in her.

"So. We meet at last." The fire demon laughed darkly as he turned to look at her from across the field.

"So we have." She said without moving forward.

0-0-0-0

"Cullen? Its going to be alright. You will see."

Cullen looked to the side. It had only been a few moments, but it felt like an eternity. She was encased in an orb. Hugging herself. Glowing softly.

"I hope she is alright." Cullen responded.

"She is alright. Relax. She is strong."

He turned to look at Sam. His friend since he came to the circle.

"Thanks Sam." He smiled at him.

He turned to look at the orb as it shined brighter.

"What's?"

"Greagoir." Irving gasped.

"Templars, ready yourselves!' Greagoir barked.

Cullen swallowed as everyone took out their shields and swords. Ready to strike down.

'Strike her down… please just be one. Please Maker...'

The orb burst. She fell on the floor, none too gently. He winced as she fell. They all awaited to see if it was a plus one.

Irving picked her up slowly.

"I'm sorry child." He whispered.

He placed a cloth over her lips and used electricity. She jolted and screamed. Cullen was ready to bolt, had it not been for Sam to keep him back. It was standard procedure to see if there was a demon hiding within her. Every mage had gone through it. This was the first time Cullen had to see if first hand.

Irving zapped her three times. Her scream was enough for Cullen to step forward.

"Stop!" He called.

"Stand your ground, Templar." Greagoir warned.

"She isn't possessed." He pleaded.

"It's better to be safe than sorry!"

He turned back to Vivianna jolting to the onslaught of attacks.

"She is the first to finish her harrowing in a few short minutes. I have every right to be alarmed."

Cullen swallowed as Sam held him back from going to rescue her.

At the six time, Irving stopped.

"She is not possessed. How-"

Irving looked at Greagoir for some explanation. He of course had none to offer. Vivianna Amell was a mystery that needed to be solved. She was powerful. And the first in history to go through her harrowing in only minutes.

"Cullen. Take her to the solitary chambers." Greagoir ordered.

"Yes. Right away."

He hurriedly made his way to Vivianna. Irving helped place her in his arms. She was breathing heavily. He left the room quickly. He had to make sure she was alright. He placed her on the bed since the solitary room.

It was used for any mage who needed further questioning. Further examination. He didn't care at the moment as she didn't wake up. She didn't move. He grabbed the sheets and covered her. Grabbed a towel and used the nearby basin to dip the towel. He placed the wet towel on her forehead to see if she would wake up.

She didn't wake up but her breathing slowed. He didn't know when she would awake but at least she was breathing normal.

'Thank you, Maker.'

He looked at her again and this time had a moment to actually notice her. His eyes traveled from her eyes to her lips. The way they were slightly parted, made a fire in his belly. They were practically screaming at him to kiss her.

The rise and fall of her chest made him swallow. She was so near and they were alone. But it was wrong. She came out of an ordeal and he was not going to take advantage of her like that. He shook his head and left her side.

The door opened and Irving with Greagoir came in. Cullen stood at attention. Waiting for the Knight Commander to reprimand him for his earlier outburst.

"How is she?" Greagoir asked.

"Her breathing is back to normal." He answered quickly.

"Good."

He looked at Irving as he made his way to her. Checking her.

"I know this is your first time. But it is necessary. We must be vigilant, my boy. It is a burden we must carry. Mages, can never be our friends. But at least we can help them. Its the only thing we can do."

Cullen nodded as Irving turn to look at him and Greagoir.

"You say that so softly. But you must understand-"

"I do Irving. By the Maker, I do. But what choice do we have?"

Irving looked down and sighed, rubbing his neck.

"Let her rest. Stay by the door at all times. Change patrols around when you need to eat or sleep. Call me when she is awake." Greagoir ordered.

"Yes, sir." Cullen answered with a salute.

The door closed as he slowly approached her.

"Please be well."

He moved her bangs to the side of her face. She looked so peaceful. It brought reassurance that she was going to be alright. He kissed the top of her forehead before he left the room, never noticing the glow that emitted from her.