"I told you..think of how much trouble you could have gotten me into!" Severus accused her. They were alone in the library again, but he was throwing his things back into his bag angrily, his face trapped in a scowl. Lucius could easily have seen him kissing her, seen how close they were alone in the library. Naturally Severus knew that he should avoid being on the wrong side of Lucius Malfoy. It was a death wish not to. Sadly Persephone was not aware of this that he could see….

"Severus please don't be a git..here.." She reached over to help him but he pushed her back and she fell against her chair, her eyes following his actions helplessly. "He's just cross I've been spending time with my cousin…it had nothing to do with you..he probably didn't even consider that I'd.."

"You're engaged to Lucius Malfoy! You're supposed to go off and get married to him after we graduate. That's reason enough to stay away. Do you know how much influence his family has over the wizarding world? I could never get a job because of your fiancé just because I kissed you!"

"Stop shouting like a child!" Persephone took his bag and held it behind her staring at him. He could have snatched it back, but because she was shaking he didn't just waited for her to finish. "You wanted to kiss me, I just let you. Lucius won't find out about it, I promise. I really do want help in Potions..and you really do want us to be friends don't you?"

He was silent, staring at the ground. It was true, he wanted to stay close to her. She was the first person after Lily who wanted to spend any time with him. Besides the rising muggle haters who had taken him under their wings. Though that confrontation had gotten him many enemies from the Gryffindors. He looked back up at her, and finally he gave a short nod admitting he wanted to keep her close to him.

"Fine then..but no more..no more of the kissing. Ever. You can never kiss me again. I won't..won't kiss you either." Severus waited for her to promise and she grasped the strap of his bag in her hands, thinking it over before giving him his bag back.

"No more kissing." She nodded her head, and looked around the library. "I should get back…I'm supposed to write Mum and Dad whenever he visits…he'll probably have told them his suspicions about me 'misbehaving'."

"Should I walk you back to the common room?"

She looked at him surprised and at first he was worried he'd been forward or something; but she smiled and nodded her head. "Yes of course. I don't want to walk myself back. Winter makes the castle even colder and darker, and I won't go alone."


Weeks they went on, in a quiet friendship. Severus hated it, hated watching as she stared silently out the window in fear of graduation. Hated the way Lucius would stop by suddenly during classes to snatch her out to speak with her. He hated the way he longed for that forbidden kiss again. The lust for Evans had cooled, replaced with something he found far more wicked. Then he realized he hated something else.

He hadn't noticed before but it hypnotized him, the chain around her neck. He wanted to ask, and finally got the nerve up to one day at lunch. She'd shared so many secrets with him, he'd spoken so much. It seemed the only thing they hadn't exchanged in their quiet times 'studying' when really they were talking of the world, of themselves.

He tried desperately to find her instead of eatting, she seemed to have disappeared however and he wandered after where he thought she'd be. He eventually found her speaking quietly with Sirius Black of all people out on the grounds away from any other students. He waited a far enough distance to keep an eye on them, two figures against the white snow.

"Look, I'm sorry! I'm not strong willed like you are! I can't..I can't stand up for myself at all! How could I just turn my back on them..I can't do anything on my own.." He could hear her voice carried towards him. Sirius said something to her but she shook her head and he could tell she was crying. Sirius reached over and hugged her, saying something to her. She remained there, and then wiped her eyes clean before giving him something and turning herself to walk back to lunch.

"What're you doing Snivvy? Listening in on my conversations?" Sirius had seen him and the Slytherin boy quickly raised his wand to defend himself. They were locked there, wands raised like statues perfectly made to oppose the other. It was something they'd perfected over years of loathing.

"It's got nothing to do with you Black." He replied icily, grasping his wand tightly. "I was just making sure.."

"What my cousin and I talk about is none of your concern Snivvy...how about we do something about your greasy nose then? Care to see if we can get it any bigger?"

Persephone had come back to say something, when she caught sight of them. Her eyes widened and she walked over quickly standing between them. "Both of you what're you doing here? Fighting like children!"

"He was listening in on us Seph, it isn't any of his business..someone needs to teach him a lesson.."

"Leave him off Sirius, he's my friend." She assured him, taking his wand in a quick movement. With her other hand she grabbed Snape's leaving both young men surprised and watching her. She turned back towards Severus with a quick movement. "Were you really listening in Severus?"

Severus pushed his hair from his face, nodding his head. "But it was only because I was lookin' for you…I heard.."

"Told you! Listening in like the filth he is. Probably spying on you for Lucius!"

"You know that I'm not!" What's he making you cry out here for then? That's what I want to know!" Severus said harshly pointing a finger accusingly at Sirius. The Gryffindor laughed, shaking his head as if it were a great joke. This only angered Severus further, but being wandless he could only suffer in silence until the other man explained.

"Me making her cry? Hardly. More like our damned family! More like pureblood fanatics.." Sirius gingerly put his arm around Persephone, patting her shoulder as if worried though she could snap at any minute. "We were talking about her engagement if it's any of your business…"

"He's my friend Sirius..he can know these things.."

"Seph didn't we have a discussion about keeping track of what sort of friends we have?"

"According to Mum you're one to avoid…" Persephone gave her cousin a small teasing smile; and then glanced back to Severus. "Besides, he's helping me raise my potion's grade. Just because you don't want to be friends with him hardly means I can't become friends with him."

Severus watched as Sirius gave him an explorative look. He wondered if Sirius knew what strange things had passed between himself and Persephone, the kiss that could have gotten them both in trouble, the way he wanted to be near her all the time. The Gryffindor instead hugged his cousin. His chin length dark hair moved with him, hanging around his face as he pulled back to stare at her.

"Well, you never did have much taste…but under your present circumstances I'll overlook it." He looked in the distance squinting. "Oi, look over there. Regulus looks like he wants a good hexing..pointing over at me like I'm the prat..keep in mind what I said Persephone, I'll come talk about it later with you." He took his wand back from her, kissing her forehead playfully. "Behave yourself..or I'll tell darling Bella on you…"

"Ugh my sister's so awful you wouldn't dare.." She watched him go and stuck her tongue out. "Bella wouldn't have anything to do with you anyway..she always said you were weird.."

He gave a laugh and shook his head going off to curse and probably scare his brother. He waved back to his cousin, not even giving the Slytherin boy another look. Obviously he knew what he wanted to do; and that was simply to let his cousin be until he had her to talk in secret again.

Once Sirius was gone far enough Severus reached out to touch her himself. He hated that he'd gotten jealous that his rival's best mate had touched her, they were related. Persephone just stared down at his hand, which rested calmly on her own. She gave a small smile and looked up at him. "If he'd have seen you do that..he'd probably have gotten cross with you.."

Severus was surprised at his own boldness and just stared at his hand there. She looked around a moment and gave him his wand back. "Did you have something you wanted to talk about with me? That made you come eavesdrop on us?"

"I didn't mean to you know.."

"Shh I know, don't cause a scene. Come on and we'll go talk somewhere secret.." She promised leading him towards the quidditch pitch. He followed close behind his eyes watching over her. He had no idea why he'd let himself get mixed into the business of purebloods but when they were alone in a locker room his mind went blank. If anyone had seen them, he was sure they'd have acted by now. It seemed Lucius's spies had to eat just like everyone else, that was a relief.

"So what was it you wanted to ask about?" She asked sitting down watching him. He sat beside her. Sitting this closely alone it took a moment for him to recall why he'd sought her out. He reached his fingers over her necklace, and she winced as if he'd stabbed her. Then as he toyed with the chain a little, he realized she'd forgotten it was there, and the reminder itself was enough to invoke some awful feelings.

"I wanted to know what that was.." He pulled at it despite her evident agony, revealing a strange crest. He eyed it, and next to it was an emerald ring. It was impressive, and then he realized what it was fully. Her engagement ring. She undid the chain, putting it down and away from her vision and his.

"My chain to my responsibilities, nothing more." He saw the sudden despair in her eyes. He wanted to say something, but before he could her mouth was against his, crushing against his lips. The kiss was hungry, scared, much more than the loving kiss he'd imagined ever giving Lily Evans. It was something desperate and full of the emotions Severus himself had always felt. It was a kiss of a kindred spirit.

He put his arms around her waist, holding her close to him. She broke the kiss but remained there, her forehead resting against his. His dark hair touching her gold colored hair, her breath against his skin. It was hypnotic, something he couldn't understand. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and rested her head against his shoulder. It was awkward, he'd never held anyone, but he eventually got her comfortable sitting in his arms.

"The family crest. Black crest. Mum gave it to me; I think she'd be cross to know I hide the ring on it though.."

Severus remained silent. They had avoided that subject, the engagment itself. They acted as if it were imaginary, the dragon in the room no one spoke of. It seemed that time had come as well.

"My sister was supposed to marry him. She was off on vacation with Mother though, and met some French wizard she grew quite fond of. Pureblood, rich, naturally he could replace Lucius and I had to step up and marry him."

"What if you don't?"

She shook her head. "I'll be declared a traitor to the family…'Always Pure'." She looked away and sat up. "If I were brave like Sirius, I'd have run away a long time ago. I can't though..I just..they're my family. If I'm not loyal to them then I'm just..just cut apart from my whole world. So I have to marry a pureblood, raise pureblood babies, and live that wizarding life my whole family forces themselves into."

"Then what are you doing with me here? I can't..I can't do anything about that." Severus felt his words were full of cowardice, after wanting her so much to declare he didn't want to be there seemed stupid. She just watched him though and burrowed her face against his chest.

"I don't know. Hiding. Sirius or not, I'm alone here. Bella, Andromeda and Cissy, they're gone from Hogwarts. Andromeda is in trouble herself, and I won't be a second sister scolded and pushed from the family shamefully. But when I leave.. I'll be his when I leave here…paraded around the wizarding world as his wife. I'm scared so I'm hiding here with you. I don't know what to do."

He just stared at her, her hair falling around her head gracefully, the way she fit perfectly into his grasp. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to do after Hogwarts, Lucius had mentioned some sort of group against muggles. Maybe he'd join them, find his place among the 'right' sort of people. He smoothed his fingers through her hair, smelling that far away scent of roses. After all the intimidating man had done for him, here he was holding his fiancée. What a fool he was. He wished he'd never met her, he'd rather be pining after Lily than in this position..

"Severus…are you scared too?" She looked up at him, her eyes staring into his. He couldn't help his hand caressing her face, her neck. "The world is a big place Severus..and we're so small…" She seemed to be mumbling though as she felt his hand touch her shoulder, moving her robes to touch her bare shoulder. She shivered slightly but pulled back from his grasp.

"I don't know what I'm scared of. We should get back…." The last of his sense kicked in, and he realized the position he was in. Even he, a young man who had learnt the hard way about lust, understood when it had to be reigned in. "Back, I should get you back Persephone.."

"Back to what? No one's watching us here..no one can see us. Don't you get it, we're safe here. I'm safe here." Persephone watched him a while and kissed him again. "When you're around, I'm not as scared. I'm not scared when you touch me."

There they were. A witch and a wizard almost of age cold and alone together. He wanted to say something to comfort her; but he could barely keep himself going sometimes. She was here though, looking to him for answers. He couldn't help himself. How could he, she was begging him for something, comfort, touch. She helped him remove her robes gently, and they locked again in the kiss of two lonely people.


A/N--I really love this story. It's such an inner struggle, I think that I put a lot more of myself into my stories than I'd like to admit. I appreciate everyone that reads this, and I'll try to be understanding of your judgements.

Review Reply

Debjunk--Thank you, no she's engaged at this point to him. He's already naturally declared her his property however.