Author's Note:

I'm new to the world of writing and publishing fanfic so I forgot to put an A/N on the first chapter. I'm going to update once a week and try to get chapters written ahead of time so I never miss a day. My update day will probably be Sunday as of right now.

On another note, thank you to all who have taken an interest in this story...I want to be completely honest, I am not a writer. I'll probably screw up where to put commas, etc. I actually once had a professor tell me as much but this subject is close to my heart as I have a lot of friends in the military and a lot of close friends that are military spouses. That being said, I don't know anyone that has been KIA, only injured, so if I get something wrong, feel free to let me know. I'm going to try to research as much as possible on what happens after a spouse is KIA but I may mess up.

On with the show:

Chapter 2

Bella

"No!"

Immediately Edward and the two men became blurry from the tears that quickly formed in my eyes. I'm not sure if I actually yelled the word "no" or just said it silently to myself because Edward's face didn't change at all. Maybe this is all a daydream...some pregnancy brain, hormone overload or something.

I started shaking my head back an forth, "Edward, no. Don't say it, please don't say it. I just talked to him yesterday, everything was fine. He was waiting for some people from Washington or something. I'm sure he's just out with them."

"Bella, let's go into a room and talk there", he said.

Edward put his hand on the small of my back and lead me into one of the empty rooms without so much as a word after my outburst. After the two men followed us in and closed the door they began to speak.

"Mrs. Cullen, I'm Major Johnson and you know Captain McCarty", the smaller man said. He looked vaguely familiar but living on a base like Ft. Campbell, all the soldiers look similar after a while. After Major Johnson introduced himself I looked over at Emmett and saw nothing but regret on his face, he gave me a sad smile. I saw Emmett's lips moving but zoned out a bit and didn't really hear what he was saying. Honestly, it wasn't that I didn't hear but that I couldn't understand. It was almost as if I were under water and someone was trying to have a conversation with me. Out of nowhere Major Johnson's voice snapped me out of my space out, "we regret to inform you of the death of your husband, Captain James Cullen." And I lost it, I could hear the sobbing and wheezing that I could only assume was me.

What seemed like years passed.

"Bella, Bella can you hear me", I looked up and saw that Edward was in front of me. "I need you to breath sweetheart or you are going to pass out. Bella, come on, sit down—head between your knees. In through the nose, out through the mouth, Deep breaths." Edward put me in a chair and put his hand on my shoulder to stabilize me. Then he began speaking to the two men.

"What is the next step in this process? Will someone call her to let he know what arrangements need to be made?"

Emmett answered, "I will be the Casualty Assistance Officer. That means that I'll be the liaison between Bella and the Army so can relay anyp[ information, help her through the process and answer any questions she may have."

At this I stopped him. I mustered up as much courage I could find and began to speak, "Emmett, what happened? I just talked with him yesterday. They were waiting for some DC people to come into town. He was pissed because he didn't want to have to entertain them. I don't understand."

Emmett answered, "Bella, what I've been told is that he was asked to pick up a patrol through the city and as they were leaving town someone walked up to his vehicle and detonated a bomb. Apparently he saw what was about to happen and opened the door and jumped at the civilian." Emmett stopped and looked at Edward and then continued, "he absorbed most of the explosion and was killed instantly. Bella, I know this doesn't help but he saved his men's lives. Had he not opened the door and jumped, the bomb wouldn't gone off and many more people would've been injured or killed. He's a hero."

When Emmett said that word I immediately thought of the last thing I said to James "don't be a hero". I just started shaking my head and sobbing uncontrollably. Edward tried to reach for me but I hit his hand away. I didn't want any comfort, I wanted James in front of me so I could yell at him and ask him why. Why did he leave us—doesn't he know that I need him, no we need him, more than anyone right now. Finally I got my breathing under control when I thought about the "we". I have to take care of myself and my little one.

All I could do was stare at Edward. I knew I wouldn't be able to come up with any questions as all I could think about was being alone, alone and pregnant. I was going to be a single mom—yesterday life was perfect, today it was a mess. What do you do when things are turned upside so quickly?

It could've been minutes or hours but finally Edward bent down in front of me and began speaking.

"Bella, lets get you out of here, Emmett will be in touch and there is no reason to stay—I want to take you home and we should call Jasper. I've already talked to the charge nurse and they have someone coming in to finish up your shift."

Jasper, Alice, Esme…oh God Esme, and of course Carlisle. I stood up like a zombie and Edward put his arm around my shoulder. I hadn't even noticed that the other two men left. Finally I looked at Edward and saw the sorrow, worry and a hint of anger in his eyes—after all, he had just lost his best friend.

"I need to get my purse, it's in my locker. And I need to call Jasper and Alice, and Esme. Oh God, Esme—she's going to be devastated", all I could do was repeat my last thought. "And what am I supposed to do Edward—what did they say? When will James be home?" I choked out the last question and broke down again. The tears came and continued rolling down my face.

As Edward guided me to the locker room so I could get my purse he began to speak, "Emmett is going to be in touch once he knows everything", then he lead me outside to his car. At this point I needed someone to do all the thinking for me—I just couldn't right now.

We made it to my house faster than I ever had before or maybe I had zoned out again. Edward got out of the car and came around to help me out and then we went inside and I sat on the couch.

Edward sat down on the coffee table and looked at me. "Bella, I'm going to call Jasper and talk with him or would you like to?" I shook my head no. "Ok."

I heard talking in the background but didn't listen to what was actually being said. Out of nowhere I was hit with nausea and jumped up to run for the bathroom. After heaving into the toilet a few times I sat back against the wall and let the tears come. The next thing I felt was a cool washcloth and Edward pulling the hair away from my face. Finally I looked at him and said what had been on my mind all day, "What are we going to do?"

"I spoke to Alice and she let me know that she, Jasper and Esme and Carlisle will be in town tomorrow afternoon. They are going to come here straight from the airport and then ya'll are going to make some decisions. I'm going to stay with you until they get here and make sure you are ok."

He didn't understand. "No, Edward—what are we going to do? I'm pregnant."

Edward

"No, Edward—What are we going to do? I'm pregnant."

And with that statement everything shifted. I looked into Bella's red, blood shot eyes and my heart broke all over again. She was a widow and a single mother all in one day. In what world is this fair? How could this have possibly happened to someone I know, that I'm close to? And then my mind switched to doctor mode.

"Bella, how far along are you?"

"4 months. I'm supposed to go for my 20 week ultrasound on November 15th. James was so excited to find out what we are having."

"When was the last time you ate?"

She answered so softly that I barely heard, "my break about around lunch time but it was only a snack. But I really don't know if I can eat right now."

I left her in the bathroom and went to the kitchen to see what I could find. After finding milk, fruit and making her a couple of pieces of toast, I went back to the bathroom but she was no longer around. I found Bella laying on her bed so I put the food on her bedside table and went to kneel down next to her head…she was just laying there with her eyes open but not really looking at anything.

"Sweetheart, I need you to eat this—I know you probably don't feel like it but we need to keep that baby healthy….even if it's just a few pieces."

Bella nodded and sat up and began picking at the food. After about ten minutes and eating half the fruit, one piece of toast and drinking the milk, Bella laid back down.

"I think I just want to go to sleep right now. I'm sure people will be calling and there are things I should be doing but I think I just need to rest a bit and be alone. Is that ok?" she asked.

"Of course it is. I'll be in the living room when you wake up…come out when you are ready, ok? I'll find us something for dinner." And with that I closed the door and walked across the hall, into the office. I'd been here enough times before James deployed to know where the different rooms were.

I don't like snooping around but Jasper asked if I would talk to Bella about James's wishes and before I upset her more I thought I'd see if they had any files. After about 5 minutes I located the file entitled "Deployment 2010" and looked inside…there was everything I needed from his wishes for the funeral, to life insurance documents, the Power of Attorney and so on. I put it aside for Jasper when he arrived and then went back to the living room. Once I sat down I really had time to think, I broke down. Bella had lost everything and I had lost a good friend. My heart broke for myself, for Jasper, for Bella and for James—for the child he'd never know. I can't imagine.

I don't know how long I sat there but I was startled by my cell phone vibrating across the coffee table.

"Hello", I answered in a hoarse voice.

"Edward? Hi, it's Lauren."

"Shit—Lauren, I meant to call you. It's been a horrible day and I've been handling some stuff. I'm so sorry, are you at the restaurant?" I asked.

"Yes, but it's ok….what's going on?" she responded.

"Jasper called sometime this afternoon to let me know that James was killed by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan," I choked out, "he was killed, Lauren. I just got an email from him."

I heard her suck in her breath.

"Edward, I'm so sorry…I know how close you both were. What can I do for you?"

"Nothing right now. Jasper called because he thought maybe Bella hadn't been told yet since she was at work and wanted me to go be with her. Luckily I caught the two soldiers that were sent to tell her before they got to her floor and went with them. It's awful Lauren, she's lost everything and she's a mess. I'm actually at her house right now, I'm going to stay here tonight—then the rest of the Cullen's should be here tomorrow."

"Ok, well why don't you call me tomorrow. I'm here if you need me or if Bella needs anything. I know I don't really know her but I just cannot begin to imagine what she's feeling. I'll definitely be thinking of her", she said.

"I will. And, I'm so sorry I left you hanging at Ted's…that's terrible of me. I feel awful."

"Edward, don't worry about it—you had a lot on your mind. I'm not upset and I don't want you to be. We'll catch up tomorrow, ok? Talk to you then."

"Bye." And with that I hung up.

I laid my head back and closed my eyes…the last thought I had was of Bella—a twenty-six year old single mom that just lost her husband to war. I suddenly found myself feeling guilty, I'm a surgeon, young and unattached and can go anywhere I wanted. Bella has the world weighing her shoulders down right now. I found myself making James a silent promise, "I'll watch over them and make sure they are ok."