Holding On
mystic mizu
"If you were here, would you know what to do?" he sighed at his brother's tomb. He looked at his mother's and whispered, "what about you Mother? Did you ever regret leaving the Mystic Valley and marrying Father? And what about you Father? Always the lady's man? Never had trouble since Mother came in the same world that you did." He stood up and looked at the clear blue sky.
He sighed. "I don't want to lose her. Not for the second time, not ever." He clenched his fist and with in it, the symbol of their promise, the golden necklace with red pendant. "What am I going to do?"
It doesn't really matter what the people say, probably, the first reaction he'll hear once she sends her home is "I knew it". Maybe Allen can help, maybe Millerna, he could think of old friends who could talk to her, but ashamed to bother them because he can't make his marriage work. As he walked slowly back to the palace, he tried to trace every facial reaction Hitomi had when she returned to Gaea.
She was happy when she saw him, everynight they slept in the same bed, feeling each other's warmth and trying to make up with their five lost years. When they got married, they were both sure that this is what they want, she was ecstatic about the idea. After a few months, she started running. Every afternoon, she returns home, take a bath and go straight to bed. The cuddling was gone.
He wondered, was it because he's busy running the kingdom? Did he not pay enough attention to her? She wanted to go home. Always saying that he has no idea what was going on with her back on earth. He always thought that living together is the only happiness he is looking for, he thought she wanted the same.
Maybe, I'm not good enough. Ironic how a king who can give her everything, can't give her happiness.
When he entered their room, he found her there, sitting peacefully at the balcony. The red flowers creeping and blooming on the wall certainly brings her perfect green eyes. She noticed his presence. She didn't look away, that's a good sign. But what to do now?
She looked down, there goes his chance to talk to her.
"I'm- sorry." She whispered the second word. Though she whispered it, he heard perfectly. It took him by suprise, he wasn't expecting it.
"Don't make this hard for me, please Van."
"What do you want me to do?" Certainly not want to disappoint her again.
"Say something." There's a hint of anger in her voice.
"Okay, okay." He walked forward and knelt before her. He slowly took hold of her hand, she intertwined her fingers with his. She didn't look at him, she just stared at their hands.
He took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to say it, but he couldn't think aof anything else to say but "I love you."
"I'm not sure about that Van." She said. It felt like suddenly a hole appeared inside him, cold wind passing right through it.
"Not sure? I am one hundred percent sure that I love you." He chuckled though the empty feeling still bothers him a lot.
"You might want to think really hard before you say that again." He's confused.
"where are you going with this, Hitomi? You do know that I care and love you since the day you descended on Gaea."
"Why are you in love with me? Someone who realized that she loves you when it' already too late, someone who's giving you a hard time to understand every irrational decision, every unreasonable arguments? Why are you doing this to yourself Van? You're better off without me."
He let go of her hand and stood up.
"If you want to leave Hitomi, I can't do a thing about it. But you can't stop me from loving you. It's one thing that won't change no matter how far you are from me. Maybe you should think about that." He walked away without looking back.
AN: my special thanks to those who read and reviewed my work especially to chibmimi, omgshoes, the pinkmartini, Inda and jossi-31.
