Chapter 1

Bella's POV

I loved my life.

I was twenty three, had the perfect job, my own place, a family that loved me unconditionally and a best friend that had always been more like my sister, whom I loved dearly.

The only thing missing was a man, but in truth, I didn't actually miss having one of those in my life.

I was happy on my own.

I didn't have to worry about pleasing someone else, just myself. And that's the way it had been since I finished High school.

I tried not to get involved with guys. I'd had my heart broken once and I could still feel it trying to heal. Even after five long years.

Don't get me wrong. I'd been out with my share of men; gone through the motions with minimal emotions.

I was after all a woman and had needs like everyone else. But I never got attached. I tried to stay cold. Had my good time then we'd go our separate ways. My life didn't need the complication of love. That would ruin the cozy little world I'd built for myself.

I'd been taken for a fool once, a long time ago.

I had thought he was different.

We'd been friends a year or so after I moved permanently back to Forks, Washington.

It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to be with him, for our friendship to turn into something else. I loved him with everything I had.

He was the sweetest, most caring person I'd ever known, next to my father, Charlie.

Then one day he changed. He changed after I gave everything of myself that I had to give.

So men were a utility to me after that and I always set down ground rules when I met someone. Letting them know that I was in no way interested in a relationship. I couldn't risk the security of my heart again after its last breach. I'm sure you can imagine that I hadn't met a man yet that had a problem with my rule.

It had worked for me too.

I didn't go around just sleeping with anyone though. I still had standards. And it wasn't all the time. It had been even less often over the past year, maybe three times, before Max. Max had been only four times since then.

I just knew when to cut loose; knew when to bring an end to the proceedings.

I was suddenly brought back out of my thoughts by a rather toned arm that had snaked its way around my waist to pull me closer. The only set of arms to hold me on more than a few occasions.

I sighed and turned my gaze to the dark haired guy by my side.

He was sweet and funny and pretty fit if I'm honest. He also had amazingly soulful eyes; but every time I looked into them, I longed to see a different soul; and I hated feeling that way, like he had a hold on me still after all this time. After all the hurt and the pain he caused me.

On the few times we'd bumped into each other, which was more often than I'd like and the only down side of being friends with Alice Cullen, I showed him about as much respect as he had shown me back in school. Acid speared from my tongue if I ever had to address him; my words laced with venom.

Max though, had been great. He'd understood my need to be a free spirit and we'd had fun. I didn't know what it was we had. It certainly wasn't anything remotely close to love- lust? A need to release frustration through each other. We'd been friends for a while and he knew how twisted and broken my heart was and accepted our strange friendship willingly. He too had had his heart stomped on by some life sucking, stuck up hoe that thought she was better than anyone else.

"Morning," he smiled, grinning from ear to ear as he stretched out on my bed.

"Hey," I couldn't bring myself to muster up anything else.

"You know...one of these days you're seriously going to wound my ego if you don't smile once in a while after I've put in so much effort to make you come."

If only he knew...

I never had to fake it with him but I never quite fully got there either. He never failed to make me come but the earth was always at a standstill, like something always held me back from letting go completely.

"You know you were talking about him again last night," he added when I didn't answer.

"Mmhmm," I was once again staring off at nothingness.

"Well I got to get out of here. I have to be at work soon and I still have to go home and feed her stupid cat that she still hasn't stopped by to claim." He stood up and grabbed his pants, pulling them on to cover his cute little and well defined ass. I definitely couldn't complain about the view from this angle.

"Call me if you need me to make you scream again," he smirked.

"Don't flatter your self...You're not that good," I sniggered.

"Ouch, see you've done it now... wounded." He clutched his hand to his chest and chuckled before leaning down and kissing my cheek.

Once he was gone I got up and made my way to the bathroom to start my daily routine.

After a very soothing, lengthy shower and tooth brushing marathon I made my way to my closet. It was the weekend and I planned on spending it in a relaxed lazy manner. Wearing my comfortable clothes and doing whatever the fuck I liked. I pulled out a pair of black sweat pants and my favorite rust colored hoodie that I'd had since I was fifteen. I'd filled out a little more in the breasts department but it still fit. I pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail and felt around blindly under my bed until I found my elusive trainers.

As I made myself a strong black coffee, I noted the calendar on the refrigerator. The picture donning its page was filled with lit up trees and snow covered sidewalks.

December 3rd.

Christmas was just around the corner and I'd be making my usual trip home to phoenix to spend it with my mother and her new family. She remarried two years ago to a fucking baseball player, strictly minor league. The guy couldn't make it in the big leagues if he tried. He wasn't all that bad of a guy though and he made my mother happy. They had formed a wonderfully Brady bunch kind of unit with the two of them and his three kids, Karl, thirteen; Chrissie, sixteen and Joel who was about to turn eighteen. Joel shared the same enthusiasm for the coupling as I did. His reasoning was a bit different though. He hated his father because in his eyes, he replaced his dead mother with another woman. I couldn't blame the kid for holding a grudge.

I'd moved here to live with my father when they started dating because I couldn't take all the fucking cooing and 'sweetikin's and 'gooey bear' shit they used to flaunt.

Don't get me wrong I love my mother dearly and would do anything for her but I couldn't quite get used to the whole sibling thing. I'd been an only child for so much of my life and wanted to stay that way. Phil always tried to include me in everything and tried his damnedest to make me comfortable with the new arrangements but I hated it. I longed for the peace I'd been used to when it was just me and my scatter brained mom. I decided not long after, that maybe I'd give living my father a go and had stayed there all the way up to me leaving for college. Even after I had my degree, I'd migrated back towards the dreary little hamlet. I moved to Port Angeles not long after and had been there ever since.

My best friend had moved a few blocks over from me and we spent a large portion of our free time together.

I grabbed my jacket and pulled the door shut behind me.

I had a few errands to run today and I still had to buy a Christmas present for Charlie.

Alice had gone away for a week, skiing with her fiancé Jasper Hale. They'd asked me to go along but I graciously declined, reminding them that I was coordinately challenged, and that maybe skiing would be asking for just a tad too much trouble so close to the fat guy in a red suit visiting.

She'd agreed and asked instead if I'd be able to go over to her place and feed her baby while they were away and take him out for walks and shit.

Her baby was the cutest little Scottish highland terrier that went by the name of Humphrey and he got spoiled like a child.

I'd agreed.

"Hey , you all ready for Christmas?" Gary, Alice's door man asked as he held open the door to her building for me.

"Almost," I smiled back at him. He tipped his head as I walked through the door.

I made my way up to her apartment, jubilant in the fact that I was contented. Freshly fucked and high in the spirit of the season.

Yes my life was pretty much perfect.

I hadn't noticed at first as Humphrey came bounding over from the kitchen, tail wagging. I bent down and scooped him up.

"Hey there cutie," I cooed.

Then I noticed an arm hanging over the back of Alice's couch.

I froze in a panic.

A hundred thoughts crossed my mind but none prepared me for the reality of the situation.

I crept stealthily over towards the couch to get a better look, ready to set the mutt onto the possible intruder.

The arm was bare, along with the torso that the arm belonged to.

The heavenly body sprawled out and obviously unconscious was snoring rather loudly too.

His head was out of my sight, but not for long. I tripped over the cord for the phone, sending it crashing from the side table and causing enough of a ruckus to wake the sleeping beauty on the couch.

"What the fuck?"

His head shot up and over to where I was standing, now wearing a full musk of scarlet.

"Swan?"

My eyes narrowed at the asshole who was now sat rubbing his eyes in disbelief.

"Cullen!"