Chapter 1
Hi, I just want to say thanks for the amazing response I've had to this story. I know the Prologue wasn't much but I promise it does get better. So like I said I'm going to be updating this weekly.
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There was a peaceful quiet in the Reid's apartment… A stillness. The occupants were still in their beds; savouring those last few moments of undisturbed bliss.
When the dreaded alarm rang, the apartment seemed to spring into life. Doors were slamming open and closed. Water started running in the bathroom, and the coffee pot started brewing.
The first into the kitchen was Spencer Reid, he walked over to the toaster and put in three slices of bread before moving over to the cupboard to get two mugs and started to pour one de-caff and one normal coffee. This had been the usual routine for years now, it had been strange at first, always doing things for himself and another person, like making two meals in the evening. But now it was something that was second nature to him and honestly he enjoyed it. He was always the one who people babied and looked after it was a nice change to be the one who was doing the looking after; he leaned back on the counter with his mug in his hands taking careful sips.
"Morning dad." His daughter chimed as she walked into the kitchen brushing her shoulder length raven hair then pulling it back into a ponytail.
"Morning sweetie" he smiled handing her a coffee. "Happy Birthday" he added, handing her a wrapped present.
"Aww dad, I said I didn't want anything." She smiled, taking the present "but thank you." She added. She slowly opened the carefully wrapped present, she felt her mouth drop as she saw a first edition "Wuthering Heights". "Oh my god dad, thank you so much." She thanked giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"I know that maybe you'd of liked a tablet or something but, I saw this and…" He trailed off.
"Dad, it's perfect. I love it honestly." She smiled. "Umm do you think you'll be home tonight?" She asked.
"I should be. Why do you want to do something?" He replied buttering the toast; that had just popped out of the toaster.
"Is this the De-caff?" She asked.
"Yeah, wait how do you know it's De-caff?"
"I'm not stupid dad" she replied grabbing the mug and taking a sip "and no I don't want to do anything, Wednesday is a kind of crap day to have a birthday. I was sort of hoping we could go and see mom." She replied looking intently at her toast.
"If that's what you want to do Meghan." He said sitting opposite Meghan.
"Is it okay for me to go to the BAU after school? Aunty Pen, is on about seeing me on my birthday" Meghan smiled.
"Sure, I think its best it Garcia wants to see you." He chuckled.
"You don't think she's trying to throw me a party do you?" She asked rolling her eyes. She loved her aunt but sometimes the parties could be a bit much, especially for someone who hated attention.
"Nothing would surprise me with you aunt." He said. "Come on I'll drive you to school." He said putting the breakfast things in the dishwasher.
"Thanks." Meghan said. She picked up her bag and put on her shoes and a jacket waiting as her dad finished getting ready. She looked to her left and saw a picture of her family hanging up on the wall. Next to it was a picture of her and her dad, followed by a picture of her and her mom and dad and her, then a picture of her and her mom. Life hadn't exactly been easy growing up; her mom had died when she was 18 months so she didn't remember much of her. Since her dad worked in the BAU he travelled a lot which meant he wasn't always there, but despite that they still had a healthy relationship and she never missed out on girl stuff because of her two aunts who were like second mothers to Meghan. "I'll see you later mom." Meghan said quietly as she walked out of the door with her dad.
XXX
Spencer walked into the BAU, ready for another day of never ending case files. It somehow amazed Spencer that he ever let Meghan leave the apartment sometimes. He had tried being the over protective dad and it backfired leaving him and Meghan not speaking at all and her wondering in and out of the apartment at all hours completely ignoring him just to prove that he was being paranoid.
"Hey kid, how's the birthday girl?" Morgan called to him from across the bullpen.
"She's good" Reid replied walking over the desk.
"Just good?" Morgan asked as he sat on the edge of Reid's desk.
"Yeah, you know she hates her birthday." Reid replied his eyes locking with a picture on his desk. Morgan followed his line of sight to the picture of Meghan just a couple of hours after she was born.
"Are you okay?" Morgan asked.
Reid looked up at Morgan "Yeah I'm fine, I just can't believe she's 15." Reid replied quietly. "I can't help wander if E… if she thinks I've done a good job with Meghan" Reid almost whispered, staring longingly at the picture.
"Emily would have been so proud of Meghan and you." Morgan said patting Reid's shoulder.
"Yeah, umm I think we should get back to work" Reid said grabbing a file and burying his head in it. Morgan took the hint and stood up to go back to his office. He quickly took one last glance at Reid. He thought after all this time, he'd of been able to at least say Emily's name, clearly not.
XXX
JJ knocked on Hotch's office door before walking in.
"Hey JJ, are you okay?" He asked setting his pen on his desk and moving his files to the side. JJ took a seat opposite.
"I got a call last night" She said. "It was from her." JJ looked into Hotch's eyes waiting until she saw the bulb light in his head.
"Oh" was all he could say.
"She called me last night; she seems to think he's found her. She's coming back here. JJ said.
"She's coming back here?" Hotch repeated needing clarification.
"Yes, here. I made some calls she's got a safe flight and an escort back to the BAU, she'll be here around four." JJ informed Hotch.
"We have to tell the team don't we?" Hotch said. JJ thought she could see a small ounce of nervousness in his eyes, after all they had kept this secret for 14 years. It was a long time to suddenly tell them. It was practically ripping open old wounds. But it needed to be done.
XXX
"Hey G-man, can I do anything for you?" Garcia asked Reid,
"Hey Garcia, I was just wandering if you have those files I asked you for?" Reid said, walking into the office.
"Yup, you guys really need to get me to do something that will at least take me more than five minutes." She winked. "How's Meghan?"
"She's fine, thank you for finding that book for me" Reid thanked.
"No problem sweet pea, so she really liked the book?" Garcia asked.
"Yes, she loved it" Reid replied.
"Wow, she really is just like her dad." Garcia joked. Reid chuckled lightly he shook his head then caught a big blue lump in the corner of the office.
"What's that?" Reid asked looking at the lump.
"Oh that's for my most favourite god-daughter" Garcia smiled wheeling over to the lump. She picked it up and stretched it out to its full length, revealing that it was a banner. Saying 'Happy 15th Birthday Meghan!' Garcia smiled at her work of art. "I also made cupcakes and an awesomely amazing birthday cake." Garcia grinned like a chesire cat.
"Garcia, that's really sweet, but you know she'll hate the attention" Reid replied looking at the banner.
"Exactly, but it's about time she broke out of that shell of hers, besides it's my gob as a fairy god mother to spoil her beyond belief." Garcia smiled.
"She'll be here around five, and this time ask Hotch before you set it up." Reid smiled standing up, leaving the office.
"Woah G-man" Garcia chimed.
"What?" Reid asked spinning around.
"For a genius you can sometimes be dumb." Garcia laughed handing him the files.
"Thanks Garcia." Reid smiled.
"Any time sweet pea." Garcia grinned; going back to her screens.
"Oh Garcia?" Reid asked popping his head around the door.
"Yes?" Garcia replied twirling her chair around.
"Have you seen JJ? I haven't seen her all day" Reid asked.
"Umm no she's been in a meeting with Hotch all day I think" Garcia answered; turning back to the screens.
"Okay bye" Reid said closing the door for good this time.
Reid walked back to the bull pen, seeing the blinds in Hotch's office closed. He thought it was strange that they were closed. He looked at the time it was nearly four o'clock. He sat at his desk, knowing that he should at least finish another two files before Meghan came down.
"Hey Spence, we need you in the conference room" JJ said coming up behind him.
"Umm sure, we don't have a case do we?" He asked, hating to leave Meghan on her birthday.
"Can you just go to the conference room please" JJ replied walking up to Morgan's office. Reid stood up and walked to the conference room.
Once they were all seated in the conference room, Hotch stood knowing that no matter what he was going to say, this was going to hit the team hard. He looked at each of their faces before beginning. "Fourteen years ago, I had to make a decision for the welfare of this team." He looked at each of them knowing that what he was going to say would crush them, "As you know Emily had lost a lot of blood after her battle with Doyle." He looked at the confusion in his teams faces. "The doctors were able to stabilise her. She was airlifted to another hospital, her identity was strictly need to know. She stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was given several different identities and as far as we know she has spent the last fourteen years in Paris…" He could see the betrayal in every ones faces; they had been lied to for fourteen years.
"She's alive" Garcia stated her voice full of tears and shock.
"Yes." Hotch replied his face giving no emotion.
"But we buried her." Was all Reid was able to say, this could not be happening Emily was dead.
"It is something I take full responsibility for, any issues…" He didn't get to finish before Morgan interrupted.
"Any issues, yeah I have issues." Morgan argued.
"Wait, her identity was need to know. Don't you think I needed to know? I mean I'm the one that has spent the last 14 years bringing up our child completely on my own!" Reid shouted, still hung up on the fact that they didn't feel the need to let him know this.
"Oh my God" Garcia whispered as every ones head turned to the door.
There she was standing in the doorway, a ghost from his past. She looked at him eyes full of tears and apologies.
"I'm so sorry." Was all she said. This was much harder than she expected it to be.
Spencer stood up from his chair and took one look at her. "This is crazy." He spat as he ran out of the room.
XXX
After she had given everybody a hug she sat down on a chair. "I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt any of you." She apologised for the fifteenth time.
"We are just glad to have you back." Garcia smiled hugging Emily tightly again; just to make sure this wasn't a dream.
"I promise I'll explain everything fully to you." She promised looking directly at Derek who still looked shocked and hurt. "But I need to talk to Spencer first." She finished, standing up to go find him.
"How do you know where he is?" JJ asked the brunette.
"I have a fairly good idea." Emily replied sadly.
"Do you want me to drive you?" Morgan asked before Emily left the room. She turned and smiled at him.
"No; but thank you for the offer." She smiled before taking a deep breath and walking out of the room; to go to find Spencer.
XXX
"Hey Meg, wait up!" A voice called out to her.
Meghan stopped in her tracks looking behind to see her best friend Stacey, trying to catch up to her.
"Hey Stace" Meghan smiled, as her friend caught up to her.
"I swear to god you walk quicker than half the people in this school run." Stacey joked.
"Umm thanks?" Meghan questioned.
"So are we still on for Friday?" Stacey asked.
"Yeah should be." Meghan replied.
"Do you think your dad will be in town?"
"Probably."
"Hey you okay?" Stacey asked, turning Meghan to face her. Meghan wasn't a loud person but she was usually a lot chattier than this.
"I'm fine." She lied.
"You're a really bad liar." Stacey laughed. She gave Meghan a hug. "It's the whole birthday thing isn't it?" Stacey asked.
Meghan pulled away and nodded her head slightly.
"You know you could always ditch your aunts' party for you and come to the mall with me; we can go shopping and pretend it's a normal day." Stacey suggested.
"I would, but…" Meghan started.
"I know you don't want to hurt her feelings." Stacey smiled. "Sometimes you are too sweet for your own good."
"Trust me with everything they see, I don't mind them making a big fuss of me to lighten up their day." Meghan said.
"You know me and my aunt just have a beauty night on my birthday." Stacey replied.
Meghan smiled. Stacey and Meghan had become friends when they were about seven. Stacey's mom and dad had both died in a car accident. They met at the same counsellor and had been best friends ever since. "Yeah my dad would love that." Meghan joked.
Stacey laughed. "Yeah okay good point there. Maybe you could, I don't know have a movie night?"
"I think we are going to my moms grave and have a take out and just watch the TV or something. Spending time with my dad I don't mind, it's the party I'm dreading." Meghan explained.
Stacey waved at her aunt as she pulled up outside the school, "Maybe next year you could just ask her not to do one, or go away for your birthday?" Stacey suggested. "Do you want a lift?" She asked.
"No it's fine, but thanks. I'll call you later" Meghan promised.
"Okay, I'll talk to you later. Bye" Stacey said; giving Meghan one last hug then getting in her aunts car and driving away.
Meghan smiled at her friend. She started walking to the bus stop, she rummaged through her bag and got out her new book, and started reading intently.
XXX
Emily started walking through the grounds; the grass sinking beneath her feet. She looked at each of the headstones she past. It felt a bit surreal to be walking to her own grave. She noticed that some were much better kept than others. She couldn't help wander whether hers would be one that was forgotten about, or whether it was well kept. She walked further into the grave yard; keeping her head down. She didn't want to draw any unwanted attention.
She eventually found him. There was a stone bench sat directly across from a headstone. He was just sitting, as still as possible, he looked deep in thought. She wandered whether he had in fact heard her approach.
Emily sat down next to him. She didn't look at him; she kept her gaze directly ahead. Her breath hitched when she saw her name sketched onto the stone. It was well kept with fresh flowers. She looked at it and found herself thinking it was quite twisted that she was here looking at her grave.
She felt herself tense as a hand found hers. She'd missed the warmth of his hands, the soft texture, yet firm grip. Truthfully she's missed any kind of human contact. She wandered if he even knew he was holding her hand. She could feel someone staring at her. Slowly she turned her head meeting his soft hazel eyes. The anger and betrayal had almost disappeared from his eyes. There was another set of emotions that had made home in his eyes now… hurt, confusion, pity.
"I keep thinking this is some kind of weird dream." Spencer finally said.
"It's not." Was all Emily could say.
"When you first… I kept wishing that you'd walk back through the door. It feels wrong now." Spencer stated.
Emily could feel tears filling her eyes. "I'm sorry." She choked.
"I know. Why now?" He asked.
"Doyle found me." Emily replied. Spencer looked away from her and back to the grave. "I wanted to come back, believe me, I spent everyday missing you. Honestly if I thought that for one second I could come back without putting anyone in danger I would of. But it wasn't safe." Emily explained.
"Yeah." Spencer replied.
"I promise Spencer, not a day went by when I didn't want to call you and let you know that I was okay and that I loved you." She reasoned.
"Just me?" Spencer asked.
"No, not just you Spencer. I missed her too." Emily explained knowing who he was referring to.
"Are you back for good?" Spencer asked Emily.
"Yeah, I made a mistake by going last time. I'm not doing it again." Emily retorted.
"What if Doyle finds you?" Spencer asked.
"I don't think he'll find me straight away, moving back here was a fairly risky thing to do, but when he does. I'll tell you all, and we'll find him together." Emily answered.
Spencer was quiet for a few moments. Emily wasn't sure she wanted to ask this but she had to.
"So did you ever meet anyone else?" She blurted out.
Spencer chuckled a bit. "Morgan sent me out on a couple of dates, but no I never did. Did you?" He replied.
"No me neither, I left loving you and I never stopped." Emily stated.
Spencer looked away from her again. "I understand if you don't feel the same way any longer, and I would understand completely. I just want you to know how I felt… how I still feel." Emily said softly, feeling a tear fall down her face. To her surprise Spencer turned to face her and wiped the tear off her cheek.
"I don't know where my head is, at the moment, but I know three things for certain. I won't ever forget what you put me and Meghan through. I don't forgive you yet either…" Spencer let his hand fall from Emily's cheek. Emily could feel more tears fall from her eyes. Spencer's free hand soon found Emily's other hand. "But taking all that into account, I do know that I still love you." He finished.
Emily felt her mouth drop. She was sure it was like in cartoons where the person's mouth would literally drop to the floor. When Emily regained her ability to talk, she closed her mouth. "You do?" She cried.
"Yeah, I don't know why, I mean I'm furious at you, what you did was stupid and inconsiderate to the team and especially Meghan. But still, I love you." He commented.
"I know I promise I will never ever do it again." Emily swore.
"You'd better not; because you hurt me more than I thought would be possible. I'm giving you a second chance, if you really love me, you'd never pull a stunt like that again." He instructed,
Emily smiled the first real smile she'd given in years. "I love you." She sobbed.
"I love you too." He replied.
He leant forward and captured her lips with his. There was gentleness to it, but at the same time it was passionate and desperate. Both of them had forgotten how their lips had fit together perfectly. Spencer traced Emily's lips with his tongue asking permission for entrance. Emily moved her hands around Spencer's neck pulling him closer to her. Spencer moaned in pleasure as the electric that had been missing from his life for so long shot through him. All too soon Emily pulled back.
"I missed that." She smiled with swollen lips.
"Yeah: me too." Spencer smirked.
"What is Meghan like?" Emily asked Spencer.
"She's amazing; she's smart, funny, sarcastic, kind. She's got your eyes and hair; I think she's got my nose though." Spencer babbled talking about his daughter with pride.
Emily smiled hearing about her daughter, she felt sad at the same time about missing so much of her life.
"I've got a picture actually." Spencer said reaching into his messenger bag, he pulled out his wallet and showed Emily a picture of Meghan from a few years ago. "She looks slightly older now, but…" He trailed off seeing the tears fall from Emily's eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked.
"She's so beautiful." Emily cried. As she traced the outline of her daughter.
"Yeah, she looks like her mom." He beamed.
"I can see her dad in her actually," she commented through tears.
Emily handed him back the picture. She swatted away a few tears from her cheeks.
"We better go." Spencer said to Emily, he stood up and pulled Emily up with him.
"Yeah, I promised the team an explanation." Emily agreed.
"Crap." Spencer exclaimed.
"What?" Emily asked.
"Meghan, she's probably at the BAU by now." Spencer explained.
"Oh…" Emily said quietly, she only now realised the impact this could have on her daughter.
"Well she's gonna find out sooner or later." Spencer commented. "Let's go." He said pulling Emily with him. She soon fell in step with him and they walked hand in hand out of the grave yard.
XXX
Meghan stepped out of the elevator on the BAU floor. She walked through the glass doors and glanced at the desks looking for her dad. She couldn't see him or anyone else in the team. 'Typical' she thought to herself, they had forgotten to tell her she they were on a case. She was about to turn around when she caught some movement in the conference room. She walked through the desks and up onto the walkway and into the conference room.
Meghan looked at all the other agents; they all looked like they'd seen a ghost. Garcia had obviously been crying. They were so wrapped up in their own thoughts that they hadn't even noticed Meghan walk in to the room. She couldn't see her dad in the room; she immediately knew something was wrong.
"G-guys what's going on?" Meghan eventually spoke up.
All of them looked up at the girl standing in the doorway. Garcia stood up and pulled Meghan into a tight hug. "I-I c-cant breathe." Meghan gasped. Garcia pulled away, Meghan flashed Garcia a smile. She looked to her uncle Derek, "Uncle Derek, what's going on? Where is dad?" She asked trying to keep calm.
"Meg I think you should down." Morgan suggested pulling a chair out for Meghan.
"No why? What's going on?" Meghan asked again.
"Meghan, I really think you should sit down." Garcia repeated.
"No. Will someone please tell me what is going on?" Meghan argued looking to Hotch.
"Meghan?" A voice from behind said.
Meghan turned around to face the voice. She saw her dad standing with a woman who she recognised but couldn't place where… then it hit her.
"Mom…"
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