Weeks went by. Thoughts sprang back and forth from each corner of Jade's mind. It hit her like a bullet, quick and unexpected, but she was surer of this than anything else in her life.

She was officially bored with Beck. Every single waking moment of the day, he did what she asked. Any girl would be lucky to have him, and she was too. But she wasn't happy with it. She wanted arguments, rough sex, bruises from punching the wall when she was angry.

But she had nothing. Sure, she got mad at him when he talked to other girls, but as soon as she threw a tantrum, he'd stop. And he loved her so much, being so gentle with each kiss and touch. It made her sick and it made her want to draw hearts on her homework, not break things.

She wanted excitement. She wanted something more. She wanted something that felt real and fought for, not so artificially perfect.

She felt tears building up inside of her as she sat at the front of Sikowitz's class. She wasn't a crier – at least not in public. She ran her fingers through her hair, Beck sitting just behind her next to Robbie. Sikowitz was explaining the next lesson loudly, his hands waving through the air with excitement.

"Jade, how about you demonstrate?" He tapped her knee with the tip of his foot.

"Get your smelly foot off of me," she snapped, glaring up at him, "I don't want to demonstrate."

"You haven't participated in over a week, Jade. I think it's about time you start getting back into things-" She cut him off by stomping her foot loudly.

"I said I didn't want to demonstrate."

"Jade, are you okay?" Cat poked Jade's shoulder, noticing the glimmer in Jade's eyes. "We can talk after class if you want."

Jade knew that her and Cat were always going to be best friends, no matter how mean she was to her or how stupid Cat acted. They were inseparable outside of school, constantly texting and talking on the phone. If Jade was going to open up to anyone about her situation, Cat was the girl.

Jade nodded slightly, and Cat smiled brightly at her. "Yay!"

Sikowitz let Jade slide again that day, and when the bell rang, Jade quickly slipped past Beck and headed straight for the girl's bathroom. Cat followed her, dodging people in the hall. When the two girls were inside, Jade screamed into the stalls so that everyone would leave.

They stood there, silently.

"What's wrong?" Cat finally asked, fiddling with the end of her sleeves pulled past her wrists. "You've been acting funky lately."

"I don't think I love Beck anymore," Jade said it quietly, finally admitting it. "I don't think I have for a while now. I think I only realized it recently, but I've just been with him because that's the way it's been for so long. Does that make sense?"

"I think so," Cat tapped her head a couple times with her finger, "It's like, when my brother was little, he always ate ice cream. But then one day he started to get diarrhea every time he ate ice cream, but he didn't stop eating it because he was so used to eating it after dinner! It's kind of like that, right?"

Jade smiled. "Yes, I think so."

"So what are you going to do?" Cat leaned against the trash can, which proceeded to fall over and spill garbage all over the floor, "Oh, no."

Jade watched her pick things up. "I don't know. What do you think I should do?"

"Well lying is bad," she shrugged, "And if you keep dating Beck, then you'd be lying to him, wouldn't you?"

"I guess so." Jade sighed loudly. "I hate opening up like this, you know that, right?"

"I know. That's like how when I was little, we took my dog to the salon to get his teeth brushed, and he didn't want to open up his mouth." Cat fixed her hair in the mirror before picking up the last piece of garbage and tossing it back into the trash can.

"I don't think that's really relevant."

"Of course it is. I don't think you'd like getting your teeth force-brushed, either." Cat winked at Jade. "Unless you're into getting things shoved into your mouth."

Jade laughed. "See? That's one of the things that's been bothering me. Beck isn't assertive at all. I'm starting to wish he was a little rougher with me, or did something I didn't wanna do. Things are getting so boring. I mean, I don't particularly want him to shove his penis down my throat - …"

As Jade said that, Tori walked in, stopped mid step, and then turned to leave.

"No, Tori, it's okay. You can stay." Jade felt her heart flutter a little at the thought of Tori standing up to her countless times in the past.

"I don't think I want to stay." Tori scratched her head, confused, "I'm just gonna go, I'll see you guys later. I'll pee in the… dumpster outside… or something."

"No, Tori, really! You can pee here. Peeing in dumpsters can lead to… medical issues." Cat crinkled her eyebrows, "You better be careful."

"Okay, uh." Tori stammered. "Okay."

She went into one of the stalls and sat on the toilet. Jade and Cat stood silently, waiting.

"I can't pee if you guys are right there…"

Jade laughed again. "Okay. Well, I should probably get going anyway. I have something to take care of." She sighed.

"You're going to dump him?" Cat screeched, jumping.

"Not yet. I just need to think about how I'm going to." She looked at the door of Tori's stall.

"You're dumping Beck?" Tori asked from inside.

"Maybe, maybe not. But I don't love him anymore. Don't say anything, Vega," she snapped, "or I'll cut your hair off while you sleep."

"No! Beck deserves to know that you don't love him anymore!" She swung the door open, her pants unbuttoned but pulled up. "You don't have the right to stay in a relationship with him if you don't love him."

Jade felt her palms get sweaty and a weird feeling in her gut. It wasn't even the no thing anymore. It was just the fire, the heat. The fierce look in Tori's eyes.

Jade ran to the stall, shoved Tori out of the way, and vomited violently into the toilet.

"Okay, now I'm really just gonna go pee somewhere else." And with that, Tori left the bathroom. Cat walked up behind Jade and rubbed her back as she finished puking.

"It's gonna be okay," Cat whispered, "I promise."