Advocate

Disclaimer: CLAMP owns it. I play with it.

Summary: Sort of AU. Seishirou is sent back into the past by an angry Hokuto after he forces Subaru to kill him, giving him the chance to start again. The assassin however, resenting the changes to his plans, will be playing the older Sumeragi twin's game his own way. Hokuto herself has an importance of her own, and now she is alive again, retaining all memories of her death and subsequent afterlife, she'll play the game just as fiercely, leaving a confused but suspicious Subaru in the middle. Rating T, multiple storylines.

Pairings: Split evenly between Seishirou x Subaru and Kakyou x Hokuto

Warnings: Violence, blood, Boy on boy. If you have a problem with yaoi or blood...you're in the wrong fandom. This is CLAMP, so blood is a given.

Author's note: Thanks to Ruth, Naru-Kyou, sute-hikahika and laustic for the reviews, and thanks to those who put this on their alert list!

......... Advocate .........

Chapter One: Gameplan

With uncertainty came, inevitably, suspicion, and Seishirou watched as Subaru's eyes flicked from him, to the encompassing darkness of the marboroshi, to the Tree, just visible behind him, and back to the dark haired assassin again. "What's going on? Where are we?" He asked sharply, no longer stammering. His instincts were probably on hyper drive, Seishirou thought idly. And how to answer him? It was no longer as simple as 'you didn't win; therefore I'm at liberty to beat you senseless and break your heart'. Which, actually, if he wanted to, he could still do. Hokuto death glares aside. Containing his snort of derision, he spread his hands, training that one bright amber eye on Subaru and smiling in that oh-so-innocent way he always had. "You surprised me, Subaru-kun. I have to admit I didn't expect you to come..." As usual, the lies fell easily from his tongue, and he wondered if normal people were ever disturbed by speaking the untrue so fluidly. The skill certainly came naturally to him. Subaru faltered, brilliant green eyes blinking in confusion.

The little onmyouji hesitantly swiped a sleeve across his eyes, evidently still tense. Seishirou thought it prudent to perhaps provide a little more 'explanation'. "Come now, you know I share your talent...I was helping myself heal." As if in protest to this lie, his empty socket, swathed in bandages, throbbed slightly. He could feel hints of amusement and derision from the Tree behind him, the long-dead spirits trapped inside ever restless, and always in his head. After a brief moment where he wished he'd fed Hokuto to it rather than let her spirit go, since it would be difficult for the pest to come back and annoy him if she was buried under his Sakura. He decided that if he ever had the good fortune of being able to do away with the nuisance again, he'd feed the stupid girl to the Tree and be done with it. Part of his head laughed at him, and a voice in the very back of his mind (which sounded a lot like Hokuto) said 'ah, but you found it so hard last time...they were your friends, weren't they?'

"..." Frowning, he shook the irritating thought from his head, and was again drawn from his introspection by a soft voice. "...How is it?" Subaru's tone had lost its sharp, apprehensive edge.

Seishirou almost grinned. His lips quirked, but he schooled his features before he could give away his glee. Subaru, silly, naive Subaru, had simply taken what he said and accepted it. It had not been difficult to keep the boy's trust, after all. Never mind that his illusions had no healing properties whatsoever, Subaru's seemingly endless amounts of trust he had for practically everyone he met had allowed him to get away with the lies again. Now that they had re-established that trust, and all hints of suspicion had been erased from the boy's eyes – and such wonderfully expressive eyes, Seishirou mused, he would always be able to read him just like a book – he could concentrate on dealing with the new, but not entirely unexpected revelation. He had known, of course, that Subaru was falling for him, and he had planned it, as much of an egotistical objective as that was. 'Charming' was his natural demeanour, and, effortlessly charismatic, he had seduced the younger in the most innocent way possible. With pretty words, gentle behaviour, and the imitation of intense feelings.

Again, though, the lies their intriguing little relationship was built on would make taking this venture further somewhat difficult. The plan of course was to break Subaru, since the year had gone and he had lost his bet. Seishirou pondered the unfairness of it; since he knew full well he cared for nothing, and was incapable of feeling. He took a step towards Subaru, and let that easy smile slide onto his face. "It will heal."

"But...you'll be blind?"

"Only in one eye. I shall manage."

Instead of replying verbally as he normally would, Subaru merely nodded. Hm. So perhaps not all of his suspicion had been erased. Approaching the boy, Seishirou did indeed note the slight tense in Subaru's shoulders, although his fears turned out to be unfounded when Subaru spoke.

"I'm sorry! It's my fault you got hurt...please don't hate me!" Not suspicious, then, just terrified of rejection. That was typical of teenagers, he supposed, and it was quite possibly the only thing typical about Subaru. He smiled genuinely at that thought, much to his own amusement, and wrapped his arms around the boy, something he'd done a hundred times. The gesture of affection felt almost, dare he say it, natural. "Don't be ridiculous, Subaru-kun, of course I don't hate you!" It wasn't a lie. The first time around, he had told Subaru he didn't hate him, alongside trying to kill him, which...in retrospect was sort of a physical oxymoron. He tightened his arms around the younger. "If I hated you, I wouldn't have gotten between you and the knife in the first place."

"But...you lost your eye...because of me - "

"And you think I'm going to hate you for that?" He tilted Subaru's chin up with one long finger, from where the younger had been adamantly staring at the floor. He blushed slightly, an expression Seishirou was all too used to, and an expression which made him grin roguishly. Unsurprisingly, the grin elicited the normal response from Subaru, who turned an even darker shade of red.

With a start, Seishirou realised he still had to address Subaru's confession. He couldn't afford to sweep it aside; he'd been waiting for the boy to say it for a whole year. He assumed that Subaru would be expecting him to say something about it, and this thought made him frown a little. How best to approach this? He'd never actually expected Subaru to come out and say it, despite it being painfully obvious for the duration of the previous nine years, although of course this Subaru was still young, and excruciatingly naive. The boy looked away again, and his lips twitched.

"I'm in love with you..." This time, the confession came with a tone of voice that was almost wondering, and for some reason, the softly spoken words filled Seishirou with elation. He, of course, knew that Subaru was his special person, the one he loved most, otherwise passing on his role as the Sakurazukamori to the younger man, which was the 'grand plan' as it were, would not have been possible. Still, he'd never acted on his 'feelings', dismissing them as nothing more than obligatory to the transition of his job. And actually something of pain. And still Subaru needed an answer.

"Well it's about time." Was the reply Seishirou settled for after a moment. It was impartial, and contained no lies he might regret later. It was one thing to omit certain truths and conceal certain facts, but Seishirou was aware of how dangerous lies could become if they were too blatant, too obvious, and worst of all, contestable. He allowed a gracious smile to light his face, a smile Subaru nervously returned. With a hum of amusement, Seishirou realised they were still in his marboroshi. He erased it, appreciating the look of amazement on his younger friend's face. The onmyouji shook his head a little. "You're a sorcerer too...I've seen you before, but I didn't know you were this good..." Seishirou let go of Subaru and returned to his hospital bed. He didn't want or need it, but it beat going home, where he'd have to return to doing menial chores and doing all the cooking. Plus, here there were plenty of people to prevent him from dwelling on certain things his head had the nerve to bring up when he was alone.

He'd been doing that a lot, he mused, in the couple of years running up to his death. His cursed mind wouldn't let him be, and was wonderfully capable of concocting different lives he could have led if he'd made different decisions. And not just ones concerning Subaru, either. He had always told himself that none of these other fancies were substantial, since he was practically unfeeling anyway, thank you very much, and besides, he enjoyed the life he had chosen.

Even if it had been somewhat lonely since he'd killed Hokuto and lost Subaru.

And where, exactly, had that thought appeared from? He fought not to let his annoyance show as he squashed that contemplation dead. Glancing up, he smiled benevolently at Subaru, who had relocated himself to the end of Seishirou's hospital bed and was playing with the sheets. It was like he was expecting something, although Seishirou didn't have the first clue what it could be. Then again, as charming as he was, and as well as he could usually read the younger boy, he had to admit he'd never really been in this sort of position with him before. He opened his mouth, not entirely sure what to say, but was saved by a couple of nurses who came in to check him over. Thankfully, they shooed Subaru out to do so, liberating him from the requirement to actually talk to him.

The onmyouji bowed slightly and left, blushing, promising he'd come back and see him tomorrow during visiting hours. Seishirou resolved to have a serious think about the situation he was now in. He'd thrown himself into this game of Hokuto's, and was now regretting it somewhat, not actually having the faintest idea where to move next. He'd have to come up with some sort of gameplan before Subaru came back...and...ponder his own reaction to Subaru's heartfelt confession.

......... Advocate .........

Hokuto Sumeragi was not having a good day. Of course, waking up with a migraine was one thing, waking up after being dead for nine years with a migraine was quite another. Disorientation didn't suit the elder twin, and clumsily bumping into the furniture in her bedroom as she tried to find her way dizzily to the bathroom was not something she wanted to be seen doing.

Three hours of showering, religious straightening of hair and application of careful and subtle makeup later, she felt a little better. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, which wore a very slight frown, she wondered how she was going to go about forcing Seishirou to realise that he wasn't the cold, heartless assassin he assumed he was. She rather hoped dying at his love's hand (for she knew that he knew he loved Subaru...there was just an awful lot of 'buts' involved in the way his mind was dealing with it), would have knocked some sense into him, but she wasn't certain the idiot would play this the way she wanted him to, and had a horrible feeling that he'd turn this into a strange sort of game and fight against her at every turn. That would be, unfortunately, just like him, since she was fairly sure he'd not appreciate her sending him back. He was always one for carefully laid plans, although waiting until he was definitely dying in Subaru's arms to tell her poor brother he loved him after all was a rather disturbing thing to do. She supposed it was part of his scheme to turn Subaru into the Sakurazukamori, an act that clinched her decision to make them both start over.

Standing up and dusting herself off, she took a moment to smile with elation at being alive again. She had really messed with destiny when she'd had Seishirou kill her; she was never supposed to die, after all. Still, Hokuto took pride in laughing in the face of so-called 'destiny', she'd choose her own life, thank you very much, and she wouldn't let any other bugger set it out for her. Although some of the things that were 'supposed' to happen, she'd allow with relish, she thought with a grin. Twisting her head and deciding she looked acceptable, she bounced across the hallway to Subaru's apartment, letting herself in and perching on his sofa, awaiting his return. She hadn't been able to talk to him or hug him in years...it was something she was looking forward to. She'd always known that her death would destroy what was left of Subaru after Seishirou's betrayal. A bond like theirs was difficult to come between, and severing it would have hit him hard. They were twins, after all. In some cultures twins supposedly shared a soul, so it was not surprising that Subaru never got over it. Still, it made him strong enough to fight back and come out of his self-inflicted coma, which was the main reason she had gone to Seishirou. She knew, of course, that the older man would never have actually managed to kill her brother, her other reason for signing her own death warrant was the first thing she attempted in an effort to change their futures; the spell she cast at the moment of her death.

Her reminiscence was interrupted by Subaru opening the unlocked door, having gotten back from the hospital. She jumped up and ran to the front door, throwing herself at her brother, who let out an undignified squeak and stumbled under her weight. "Subaru!" She laughed, kissing his cheek. "I've missed you so much!"

"I've only been gone since this morning, Hokuto..." Her younger brother grinned, mystified. She shook off the comment and waved her hand, leaving her other arm round his neck. "I'm allowed to miss my baby brother if I want to..."

"Less of the 'baby', I'm only four minutes younger than you."

"And it's so sad that I only had four minutes of peace before I had to put up with a little brother..." Hokuto sighed dramatically, enjoying the playful banter that made up their relationship. She hugged him again, glad that he had actually returned home from his visit this time around. That meant Seishirou had done something right by not repeating his actions from last time. Also, he looked happy, so hopefully something good had happened, and she wouldn't have to put too much effort into getting her brother and Seishirou together. Then again...Seishirou was the master of deception, so perhaps she'd better have some sort of plan in case he was trying to mislead Subaru again.

"So how is he?" She asked.

"He's fine...and he doesn't hate me, even though his injury was my fault." She rolled her eyes, smacking him upside the head, and he yowled, glaring at her. "What was that for?"

"Idiot. It was not your fault."

"...That's what Seishirou-san said."

"There, see? That must mean its true, if both of us said it." She said matter-of-factly, with a knowing nod of her head. "So what else did you two talk about?" She prodded in the hopes of gleaning some more information. She wasn't quite ready to face her killer yet, since she wasn't sure quite how to speak to him. "You've been gone ages."

Subaru, as she expected, turned an interesting shade of red, and she squealed. "Subaru, you're blushing!" She sang, swinging her brother's arm and playing the innocent sister. She sobered when the younger twin turned serious eyes on her. "I told him I loved him. I...didn't even realise I did, that's the stupid thing...and you knew, didn't you?"

There was a long pause. "I might have..." She grinned from ear to ear. "What did he say?" Her heart sank when Subaru frowned a little.

"Not a lot, admittedly, which I thought a bit...weird since he's spent the better part of a year saying those words to me. He just sort of said...'it's about time'. Is that...weird?"

"Sei-chan is weird." Hokuto chose to answer, careful not to give too much away. She assumed Seishirou hadn't said anything about the bet, because she had a feeling that would have messed Subaru up anyway, since that would have meant finding out about Seishirou's rather unhealthy occuption. "Maybe you can talk it over with him tomorrow." She nodded.

"I would..." Subaru grimaced. "But I have to work, something's come up...you should go see him, though, the nurse said he be in there for three days..."

"I...might..." Hokuto murmured, frowning a little over his shoulder. "I have a few errands to run...but I should probably go and say hello..." She smiled at him, and wondered briefly how she was going to make sure he found out the truth, but stayed happy. She'd had nine years to plan this, and yet here she was, unsure of how to proceed. Her brother was the only one of the three who had no recollection of the previous nine years, and it would probably be best to keep it that way. But he did have to know about Seishirou's true identity. She just hoped that Seishirou would, for the first time, be straight with him. It was something of a forlorn hope, but she intended to help him make the right decision, determined as she was that the two were not doomed to be loveless and apart. She wasn't done with destiny yet.

......... Advocate .........

Author's notes:

Lots of Seishirou introspection here. There will be some action later on, but I prefer not to write EPIC action, since I'm better at shiny romance stories than drama-filled ones. Yes, oddly, this story has a plan, IS going somewhere, should end up at about 9 chapters long, and WILL have a sequel. Which will be action-y, since I've been informed I should at least attempt to write decent action. I shall try from now on to get an update up every week or so, work allowing. I enjoy writing Seishirou's perspective, and I'm aware I tend to stick to him for large chunks of story. These SHOULD thin out as the story carries on to include Hokuto and Kakyou, so do tell me if you think there is too much of Seishirou.

Oh and by the way...like most TB and X fans, I took what Seishirou said to Subaru when he died as 'I love you', 'I always loved you' or something along those lines. There's hope for Seishirou yet, damnit! :)

Reviews, as always, are appreciated, tell me what you think, what you liked or didn't like, how I could improve...I love critical feedback, it makes me write better, and since I plan to be an author...this would be useful. Thanks!

Next chapter: Hokuto secretly visits a locked up Kakyou, then gives Seishirou an ultimatum while Subaru is working. Subaru asks Seishirou to explain the extent of his powers but is circumvented, so tries to find out some things on his own.

Philosopher's Queen