1 Year ago
EPOV
Bella Cullen. I woke up with those words on my lips. What a foolish dream I had had.
I dreamt that Bella and I were in front of our family and friends , the people we both loved the most in this world declaring ourselves. Our love for one another.
What a joke.
I had been pining for Bella as long as I could remember.
I remember the first time I saw her. Alice brought over "the new girl from Phoenix" for a lesson in fashion and Forks Middle school and I could barely breathe when I saw her.
Of course, not wanting to freak her out, I nonchalantly greeted her and we became fast friends.
She could never know how much I cared for and loved her.
Alice knew something of my feelings, but I never wanted to make her feel uncomfortable with the only girl she had ever really connected with.
Bella and I were instant, easy friends.
We never had to work hard for a conversation. If she knew my feelings for her, I knew things would change and I cared for her too much to ever not have her (at least in some capacity) in my life. Besides, she never showed me any special attention or any sign whatsoever that she felt the same way about me. I mean, I was into art and music while everyone else was into sports and.. well I don't know what else "they were into" and I guess that was kind of the problem.
In High School, things just got that much worse. I knew that I garnered some female attention and I could see that it bothered Bella. I'm sure she was annoyed that some of the girls in our grade acted like they knew me better than she knew me. The attention was always short lived when girls realized that I had no interest other than school and music. Basically, everyone thought I was antisocial and strange.. and I preferred it to be that way.
In the middle of our Sophomore year, I decided enough was enough. I needed to tell Bella how I felt or I would regret it forever.
Turns out I was too late. To avoid painfully embarrassing flashbacks, let's just say I walked in on in one Alice and Bella having the "first kiss talk". Bella had met a boy on the Indian Reservation (an old family friend of her father's) and she was absolutely gushing.
As I listened to Bella and watched as her face lit up, talking with her hands and making wild gestures, I realized it was never going to be me.
"and then, he leaned closer and kissed me! Kissed me Alice! It was the single most amazing experience of my life!" she gushed.
I could not stand the torture any longer.
I fled up to the music room of our house and wrote another one of my many pieces inspired by Bella.
------
"This one's so haunting and morose, Edward." my mother, Esme stated from the door.
As she regarded my expression, she gasped "what has happened. What has happened with Bella!?"
I was taken aback by her candid question. I think everyone in the world knew how I longed for Bella, but no one really ever spoke about it. I was private in my feelings, especially the deep and intense ones I had for her.
"She's met someone mom.. and I think I'm too late." I explained. Esme smiled at me tenderly, "Son, you are NOT too late. Sure, you may have waited a bit longer than you should have, but there's nothing about this situation that seems dire. You need to stop the self-pity. Bella needs a man, not a baby."I winced at her harsh, but true words.
"I know mom. It's just Alice has never had anyone like Bella. I would NEVER want to hurt their relationship by my foolishness."
Esme smiled at me as she backed out of the room "continue playing dear, your ear is remarkable."
I stayed in that room all afternoon. Dinner time came and went and I refused to head down to the kitchen. Bella was spending the night tonight and I just couldn't stomach it. Not like this.
I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. Something about this piece was just not right.. but I couldn't define it. As I was about to throw in the towel, I heard a light knock on the door.
