I was happy with the interest that some people have in the story. This is the next song.
Disclaimer: I do not own Suits, or 'Don't Speak' by No Doubt
Characters: Trevor Evans, Mike Ross, Harvey Specter
Post Episode: 2x1
"You may not have my memory, but you better remember that." Mike turned away from Trevor after Mike threatened to use Trevor's Social Security number against him. Mike would never do it of course but Trevor didn't need to know that. Mike was half way away from Trevor when his familiar voice seemed to drift from behind him, a silky tenor vocal slipping through his ears, "You and me, we used to be together, everyday together always." Their often spoken promise; they would be best friends until the end, nothing could come between them. Mike continued walking away; not giving any indication that Trevor was heard.
Mike turned the corner and sighed, closing his arms around his body tightly as if he were cold despite the warm Manhattan evening. "I really feel that I'm losing my best friend, I can't believe this could be the end." Mike twisted his head to look up and down the street before going to cross over to the other sidewalk continuing on his way away from Washington Square Park, away from Trevor, away from the anchor that dragged him along the bottom of the ocean for so long. He was starting over; he didn't know how he should feel.
Harvey Specter sat at his large glass desk, phone in hand. His thumb twitched over the ball of his BlackBerry, the screen showing the contact name and number for Mike Ross. He sighed and stood, going over to the window, wondering what his associate was doing since Harvey told him to leave that afternoon. He had a feeling the blonde was going after Trevor for telling Jessica about his not being a lawyer. He was mentally cheering for joy, complete with a fist pump; it took forever for this moment to happen but…he smirked sadly as he surveyed the dark city, looking at the glittering lights from his vantage points, his hair being swept aside by the central cooling opening underneath him. "It looks as though, you're letting go," he commented as if Mike was in the room. His smirk fell as he thought of Mike's response, "But if it's real then I don't want to know." Harvey turned his back to the window and looked down at his phone, deciding to press the green button and get this over with.
Mike looked down at his phone, Harvey's name and picture flashing up on the screen. Mike's finger hovered over the touch screen, debating whether to accept the call or not. He slipped his finger to the left, ignoring the call, justifying his action with, "Don't speak, I know what you're saying, so please stop explaining, don't tell me 'cause it hurts." Mike thought he could hear Harvey's deep voice in conjunction to his own, mocking him because the man was always one step ahead of everyone and would therefore know exactly what Mike wanted to say before Mike was going to say it. He didn't need the arrogant, cocky Harvey eloquently structuring his sentence in a way that a normal person wouldn't detect the big "I told you so," that Harvey was really saying in between the lines. He wished that there was a kinder, gentler Harvey hidden somewhere that would help him, but that slot had been previously taken by someone else and Mike didn't know how to go about filling that slot again.
Mike's thoughts turned to Trevor and how the man could just…try and ruin his life. His hooking up with Jenny did not compare with Trevor telling Jessica about his fraud, no matter which way you sliced it, no matter how well Trevor could try and argue that the infractions were both equal; they weren't. Jenny was just another girl, Mike reluctantly thought, she could be replaced but this…his job at Pearson Hardman, Harvey…those were irreplaceable. Mike would never have a chance like this again. Furthermore, it was not just Mike's life that he tried to ruin, it was Grammy's as well and Mike couldn't have that. The urge to call Trevor was strong but Mike shook his head and pocketed his phone. Trevor could go jump off a bridge for all Mike cared about him now; a very tall bridge over a dried bed of concrete would be preferable. "Don't speak; I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons, don't tell me 'cause it hurts." Mike chorused, this time with Trevor's voice ringing through his head.
Mike found himself outside of Pearson Hardman. He didn't even know how he managed that one, but chalked it up to his body's natural memory that took him there. He sighed and looked up, picturing Harvey standing in front of the large windows of his fiftieth floor office, like a king on his balcony, overseeing his subjects. He took a breath and started to walk away quickly towards the train station to go home to stop himself from going in.
Harvey stood at the window and turned, thinking that he could see Mike standing at the bottom of the building. He sighed, "Our memories, well they can be inviting, but some are all together mighty frightening." He thought about Trevor and Mike; how much that anchor pulled Mike down and how many times Mike was able to get away from him. It seemed this time, Mike was going to be finally pulled down under the weight of it all. His job was at stake, his very life threatened. It was odd; Harvey should have been worried about his own job but Jessica gave him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't know about the fraud. Mike could be fired and everything could go back to normal. No, Harvey thought shaking his head. Harvey promised that Mike wouldn't be fired, and Harvey never broke a promise.
Trevor had made his way to a dingy bar on the back streets of Manhattan. He nursed a hard drink in his hand. He looked into the cup and lamented on what just happened. Mike disowned him after everything. For Harvey; that sanctimonious bastard. He undid all the years of meticulous molding their relationship took; all the bumps in the road- Mike's parents, high school, the college debacle- were decimated in a little less than six months. He would be impressed if he wasn't so angry…and yet…Mike was happy now. Trevor knew that when he saw Mike after all that time. Mike found something he could be proud of and damn it, Trevor missed that smile, but it wasn't his anymore…it was Harvey's. "As we die, both you and I…" Trevor's hand lifted the glass to his mouth, dissipating the anger and regret for the moment.
"With my head in my hands I sit and cry." Mike bit out, sitting on the L train that would take him back to Williamsburg. Underground, Mike didn't have to worry about his phone, didn't have to worry about Harvey or Trevor or hell, even Jenny calling him at this point. He sighed, furiously fighting back the tears. Harvey was right…he was always right…Trevor was pulling him down and this time, he might not rise to the surface. Of all the stupid things he's ever done, this might just take the cake. The little Harvey voice in his mind was itching to say something but Mike shook his head, "Don't speak; I know what you're saying, so please stop explaining, don't tell me 'cause it hurts," Mike warned the voice who simply joined his warning; the rich deep voice rumbled the words. The other voice that needed to leave his mind was Trevor's, the part of Trevor Mike had liked, the part he kept going back to. Mike wanted to warn this voice too, with a "Don't speak; I know what you're thinking, and I need your reasons, don't tell me 'cause it hurts."
Mike emerged from the train station blocks away from the brownstone he called home. He walked down the mostly empty streets by himself crying out to the wind, "It's all ending, I've got to stop pretending who we are…" He wouldn't lie and say he wasn't worried about what Trevor set into motion; he was terrified. Terrified for his grandmother, terrified for himself; what would happen to his grandmother if he went to prison? What would happen to Harvey; he would be disbarred, all because of Mike. There were many times that Mike cursed his eidetic memory, this one took the cake. His memory got him into this mess in the first place and it wouldn't be the last time it would.
Speaking of his memory, it decided it was a good time to bring up what used to be a wonderful memory but now made Mike sick. It was of him and Trevor, just after his parent's died, sitting on the steps of the stoop that Mike now lived in with his grandmother. Mike was still in shock that his parents were gone, Trevor was trying to be a strong comfort but he didn't understand much of what happened himself. Trevor had told him that they would be together forever and that not even death could tear them apart. Mike choked back a sob as he did that day, mourning, "You and me, I can see us dying, are we?" Mike's tears fell softly down his cheeks as the torturous voices began to overlap in his head.
"Don't speak; I know what you're saying" he and conscience Harvey were singing, "So please stop explaining, don't tell me 'cause it hurts," He pleaded with Harvey, having been able to repeat the words a thousand times. He sighed as Trevor's voice grew louder with indignation, before turning his voice to chorus with his ex-best-friend "Don't speak; I know what you're thinking, and I don't need your reasons, don't tell me cause it hurts."
Mike wanted it to stop, but the voices were growing louder and louder and he couldn't take it anymore. "Don't tell me 'cause it hurts." Mike whimpered by himself as the voices spat at him and told him the things that he already knew.
Harvey was saying Trevor was an anchor, cut him loose, "He's not your friend, he's an anchor," the voice repeated over and over until Mike just snapped. "I know what you're saying, so please stop explaining. Don't speak! Don't speak! Don't speak!" He let out a soft 'oh' when Harvey's voice stopped.
But then he still had, Trevor's saying that he didn't want to tell Jessica but Mike left him no choice, saying that he was hurt and what had happened to them? Mike groaned as the commanding voice parroted the same sentiments over and over in his mind. Mike yelled out in the warm air, "I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons…I know you're good, I know you're good, I know you're real good." Mike gasped out a breath as the voices began to quietly began to fade ways, the talking still in his mind but lessening. Mike smiled sadly cooing with the beat of the music "La, la, la la, la" throwing in a few"hush, hush don't" until the voices started to fade back into the recesses of his mind, leaving the usual buzzing that Mike had grown accustomed to. "Don't tell me cause it hurts!" He prompted them as they left him.
He walked up the stairs and pulled out his keys, flipping them around with the same sentiment lingering on his lips, "Don't tell me cause it hurts."
He opened the lock and turned the knob leaving the last, "Don't tell me cause it hurts…" in the air behind him as he closed the door. He left his keys and his phone on the table before going to the refrigerator to grab a beer. Something then hit him and he turned back to the table, picking up his phone to access his voicemail. He felt nauseous as he listened to Rachel's voicemail, feeling every bit like an idiot. The feeling of vomiting hit him full force as he finally accepted Harvey's call, too out of it to think of ignoring it.
"Hello?" His voice called out, weak and rough.
"Get your ass in here." Harvey commanded over the phone and Mike didn't hesitate for a second.
"On my way."
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KatrinaKaiba
