Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto.
Author's notes: Huge thanks to those who reviewed the first chapter! This is the start of a longer, more mature story arc, but the next part may not be out for a bit due to other projects.
The Fiery Album of Life
The evening of his sixteenth birthday finds Neji Hyuga wandering down one of Konoha's primary thoroughfares, heading toward Gai's apartment and wondering where his former team has decided to treat him to dinner; the genius can only hope they are not going to Yakiniku Q, as it is too hot for barbecue. Plus, he is dressed in his customary white ensemble and Lee has a tendency to get rather messy when grilling meat.
Coincidentally, the door to Shirakawa's Laundromat swings open at the moment he is about to pass by, and Tenten peers searchingly around the jamb. Neji stops walking, surprised to see her there; he knows that the kunoichi does not have her own washer and dryer, but for her to be doing laundry when they are supposed to be meeting in less than an hour seems like an uncharacteristic case of time mismanagement.
"Do you have minute, Neji? I could really use your help."
Neji knows that he is no domestic prodigy− his own clothing is cared for by his family's army of maidservants− and he is about to remind his friend of such when she reaches out and grabs his long sleeve, pulling him forcibly inside. He has never been to a commercial laundry before, and so he takes a moment to observe the dingy tan linoleum, the rows of machines with their little windows, garments spinning away inside, the four loitering customers, all of them civilians…
Tenten sounds almost panicked, addressing him in that certain tone which she usually reserves for Lee. "Neji! You'll have plenty of time to stare in a second, but right now I need you to listen to me. That's my last load of laundry in the dryer right there. It's only got a few more minutes, but I've got something I need to run out and take care of. Can you please, please stand here and guard it?"
Neji blinks slowly, unsure what all the fuss is about. "Where exactly are the clothes going to go?"
Tenten sighs and merely points to a large sign hanging on the wall at the back of the establishment: Do Not Leave Belongings Unattended.
Neji frowns at that, glances circumspectly back at the other patrons. They all appear normal enough, though three of the four look less than pleased to be spending their summer night in such a dowdy place… Still, it is difficult for him to believe any of them could be mentally ill clothing snatchers. He returns his attention to Tenten, wondering just what sort of seedy den she has dragged him into. "People will steal them?"
"Sometimes. Naruto was famous for it," Tenten replies distractedly, pulling out her wallet from her pants pocket and quickly counting the money inside.
Neji almost points out that Naruto is away from the village, and thus incapable of any repeating any of his childhood pranks, but as Tenten whirls about and puts her hand on the door another, more pressing question takes its place. He rushes to get the words out− praying he is using the correct vernacular− before his best friend disappears into the fading sunlight. "What should I do with the clothes if they… finish?"
"Just put them in the basket with the other−" The glass door swings shut, cutting off Tenten's irritable explanation.
Neji is perhaps the only Hyuga to have ever been abandoned in a laundromat, and he is certain it is not a distinction of merit. Spying the pale pink hamper the young woman was talking about on the floor nearby, he nervously picks up the plastic thing− already filled with neatly folded clothing− and holds it before him protectively before realizing how ridiculous he must look. He quickly sets it back on the ground beside his sandaled feet.
A moment later the ancient machine behind him ceases its turbulent rumblings and Neji turns around to inspect it. He is leaning close, peering through the tiny window at the unidentifiable heap of garments lying in the bottom of the drum and wondering if they are truly dry, when the shrill buzzer announces the cycle's end. Startled by this most unexpected sound, it takes all of his self-control not to leap backward or even fall over.
Behind him, the doorbell chimes merrily. Neji straightens and twists in relief, expecting Tenten to have returned from her errand, ready to solve this mess for him. Instead, he is greeted by the odd sight of Rock Lee holding the door open for the strutting figure of Ino Yamanaka. The unwelcome duo spot him immediately; Ino waves gaily and heads for the back of the building, while Lee smiles brightly and comes to stand beside him.
"Felicitations, my rival!"
Neji ignores the sentiment, as his current situation is absolutely not anything to be happy about. "Why are you here?"
Lee frowns at his friend's poor manners, but does not demand an apology because he believes a person may act as they like on the anniversary of their birth. Instead, the young shinobi explains, "I had to go to Yamanka's flower shop to pick up your− I needed to purchase something, but they were closed. I was traveling to Tenten's apartment to seek her counsel when I had the good fortune to met up with Ino. She said she had to make a stop here, but would open her store afterward…"
Neji's brain is aching. Not from following Lee's convoluted account, but because he has just learned he is getting flowers from another man as a birthday present.
Lee notes the other man's twitching eyebrow, but is unaware of the trauma his slip of the tongue has caused. "You know that your laundry is done, right?"
"It's not mine." Neji's protest is automatic, before he turns dutifully back to the machine. He stares at it for a few moments, searching the panel in vain for the button that must open the small door. Lee, perhaps sensing his confusion and trying to be helpful, reaches out and gives the portal an experimental tug; it pops open with no apparent damage to the appliance, and both men are suddenly faced with the pile of clothing resting inside.
Panties.
Neji feels the blood drain from his face as an emotion akin to shock settles in; his long-time best friend has deserted him here, left him in this hellhole to publicly handle her unmentionables. For a moment, he considers shutting the dryer door and just walking away. It is a practical solution, but Lee is a witness now, and if the Hyuga wastes any time trying to eliminate the younger ninja Tenten will almost certainly return before the deed is done.
Heaving a resigned sigh, Neji squats down and pulls the hamper so that it is sitting mostly hidden between his body and the dryer. Turning his head to the side, he focuses pale eyes on the scratched linoleum flooring instead of the brightly colored heap of underwear. One hand reaches in determinedly, grasps a handful of the garments− his mind shouting for him not to memorize the sensations of warm silk and cotton− and shovels them into the basket.
No turning back now.
Reminding himself that he has been forced to do worse, Neji peeks into the apparatus and sees that there must still be fifteen impossibly tiny pairs resting in there. Mentally, he asks himself why on earth Tenten would have so many, then decides he would rather not know and returns to pulling them out. The prodigy is just reaching for the last, taxing pair when Ino pops up behind them, and he freezes with his arm still inside the dryer.
Fate really does hate him.
"I'm sorry about that, Lee. My new diet's been going great, and the old lady who runs this place does the most fabulous job taking in clothing," Ino says with a smile. She brushes blonde bangs from her pretty face and carefully adjusts the plastic-encased outfit dangling over one slender arm before gazing curiously down at Neji. The Hyuga remains resolutely in place, ignoring her, and the girl finally feels the need to ask, "Are you stuck down there?"
Neji answers a negative, his peevish tone echoing around inside the metal drum. Knowing there is no hope for the situation, he leans back slowly and tries to drop this final and damnably sinful-looking bikini casually into the hamper. Ino grasps his wrist before he can let them fall, laughs aloud at the maroon silk and dainty black lace concoction clutched in his hand. "Boy, she really has you whipped, huh?"
Lee, his eyes wide a saucers, tears his gaze away from the panties. "Whom?"
Letting go of Neji's arm− the genius forgets to drop the underwear, though she is the only one who notices− Ino grins lasciviously at the two staring males. "Tenten, of course. I bought that pair for her, you know. We were on that mission together back in March, right before her birthday, and I noticed she had the most hideous lingerie imaginable. Seriously, I bet even mousy Hinata owns sexier stuff than that…"
Neji does not want to contemplate the sort of undergarments his younger cousin might own, but oft-repressed teenage hormones ensure he is mildly curious as to why Ino would have seen Tenten's underwear. Had the women shared a room during the operation? Were those stories he had overheard other boys talking about in the Academy true? Did slumber parties with naked pillow fights actually exist? Could Tenten be attracted to girls?
Ino laughs, all too aware of the myriad sexual thoughts she has set loose in both boy's heads, and grabs hold of a blushing Lee's vest. "We should go now. Good luck, Neji!"
Neji watches as the strange pair disappear through the door, confused by the kunoichi's parting words in particular and this whole evening in general. He is in the midst of rising from his position on the floor when the newly shut entrance swings back open and Tenten strides in, empty-handed but with her mood restored to its usual brightness. "Thanks so much, Neji. I made it to the bakery just in time− Uh, why are hanging onto my underwear?"
That singular question garners the attention of the other patrons, and Neji knows that he must look like the very sort of creeper Tenten had wanted him to stand guard against. He fully expects the weapons mistress to snatch the tiny panties from him and toss them into the overflowing hamper, to hurry out the exit with her cursed laundry and call him a pervert in the process. To go home and eat the entire birthday cake she had probably just bought for him.
With a roll of her eyes, Tenten gives a huff and closes the space between them, reaches out and seizes the silky material with the vehemence he had imagined. One of the thin black ribbons dangling from the side accidently catches upon his ring finger, and she yanks so hard that it comes untied. He opens his mouth to apologize and hopefully forestall her leaving, but she walks on past him toward the rear of the laundromat, vanishes into the restroom there.
Neji blinks in astonishment when, a minute or so later, Tenten reappears without the delicate garment and smiles at him as though nothing is amiss. He observes her carefully as walks toward him, seeking an answer to his newest suspicions, but there he cannot be sure. As she brushes past him and bends to pick up her laundry basket, he sees a hint of panty lines. The words of disbelief slip unbidden from his lips. "Were you not wearing any underwear before?"
"Shh! Not so loud, Neji!" Tenten suddenly breaks into a fit of giggling that draws every eye in the establishment back to them. Embarrassed by the scrutiny, Neji turns away and has to wait for the kunoichi's laughter to run its course before she explains in a whisper, "Well, we've been busy with missions lately, so I haven't really had time for laundry. I was getting dressed to run some errands for your party when I realized I was out of clean ones."
Together, they move to the door and Neji holds it open while Tenten squeezes out with the full basket balanced upon one hip. The Hyuga does not point out that if she were comfortable enough to go to both the laundromat and bakery without underwear then she should have been fine with attending his celebration without them. After all, no one would have noticed− well, probably not, as so few members of his family were invited− and she could have done the washing tomorrow.
He will never understand feminine logic.
Tenten grins mischievously up at him. "You're still thinking about them, aren't you?"
"Of course not," Neji lies, looking away lest his face flush and betray him.
Tenten smirks and bumps her unoccupied hip playfully against him. "Happy birthday, pervert."
Tenten is drying dishes when she hears Rock Lee out in her living room, speaking aloud though he is alone.
Curious, she steps into the den, still holding her towel and a plate. "Lee, who're you talking to?"
Lee looks up from his seat on the wood floor and smiles brightly. "My new friends."
The situation is eerily reminiscent of horror films.
Tenten spies a trail of cookie crumbs leading into her foyer, feels a draft indicating the front door is open.
"Do not step on them," Lee whispers warningly, his eyes big as saucers.
Tenten looks closer, and sees the line of ants marching from piece to piece of her friend's dessert. "Lee!"
Lee frowns at her tone, knowing she is displeased. "But it is raining outside! They need a good home!"
Tenten brandishes the plate threateningly. "If you invite them in here, I'm going to need a good home!"
"But−"
"Put them out! Now!"
"Tenten! Please!"
"I'll squash them if you don't get them out of here."
Choking back tears, a frustrated Lee begins to scoop the newly orphaned insects up.
Only to find out that his latest friends are ungrateful for his efforts on their behalf, and bite quite ferociously.
Life is so unfair.
"Neji!"
The teenage shinobi has just stepped out of the Ninja Academy when he hears his name being shouted across the playground, and he has to resist the urge to groan aloud; he does not hate Sakura Haruno− two weeks of mandatory training this summer, plus one dumb breast cancer scare, have erased his earlier dislike of the medic− but the Chunin is exhausted from his latest mission and wants nothing more than to return to his family's estate for a much-need bath and nap.
The girl jogs the remaining distance between them, coming to an abrupt halt a few feet away. She is professional enough not to say anything, but Neji knows her sudden stop is because he smells, and his dread over this unexpected encounter increases. "Sorry to shout," Sakura says with a smile, "but I was afraid I'd miss you. We just got word you were back, and the Hokage really needs to speak with you."
For a heartbeat Neji is elated, his fatigued mind thinking that this conversation will be the much-awaited promotion to Jonin. But then he realizes that such an event would be more formal− the potentate would at least give him time to take a shower− and a cold weight settles in his stomach. Could it be possible Tsunade found out about the incident in Tanzaku Town, when he had shirked his responsibility and left Sasuke Uchiha alive?
Neji has always been well-bred, but he is suddenly overcome with the urge to swear like a sailor.
"Come on," Sakura says. The medic turns to lead the way back to the Hokage's Residence, completely unaware of his inner turmoil. Neji has no choice but to trail after her obediently; he notes that she seems to be in a good mood− humming almost happily− which would be unlikely if her former teammate were about to be the subject of a grave discussion. This train of thought leaves him feeling somewhat comforted but still greatly puzzled.
What could the Hokage need to see him for?
xxxx
"Enter."
At the command, Sakura twists the knob and pushes the door open, gestures for Neji to walk inside. He does so, already aware that this is not the same chamber he had been summoned to as a Genin, when Lee had been stupid enough to get his kite stuck on the Hokage Monument. This office is smaller and more private, with no windows and only a single door leading off to another little room, which Sakura disappears into.
The woman sitting behind the cluttered desk, however, appears exactly the same as the first time he had seen her. It is strange that Tsunade never ages, but Neji does not dwell on the notion because she is staring at him, her face an expressionless mask. The prodigy bows, conscious of the fact that he has never been alone with her before, unnerved by this whole weird situation. "You wanted to speak to me, Lady Hokage?"
Tsunade clears her throat and gives the flask sitting on the corner of the desk a brief, longing glance before turning her light brown eyes back to his handsome face. She steeples her fingers and scrutinizes him for a moment longer, allowing the tension to build; then painted lips open and she says in her most authoritative tone, "I do indeed. I need some information, and I want the truth from you."
Neji swallows, once again fearing the worst. "Of course."
"Is Tenten still a virgin?"
It is the very last thing the genius expected to hear, and he cannot keep the surprise from his features. Why does the entire village population think he is romantically involved with Tenten? Youthful appearance aside, is Tsunade suffering from dementia? It must be the only explanation for her question… Neji realizes she is still awaiting an answer, so he manages to close the jaw that has been hanging open and says, "I'm not sure why you're asking me, Madam Hokage."
"Well, we have her medical records, but that particular block was filled out a few years ago and it isn't as though the doctors go around checking. I thought that− with your being friends and all− she might have shared that fact…" Abruptly, the woman bursts into laughter, her generous breasts coming dangerously close to spilling out of her casual gray top. "Oh, don't look so constipated, Hyuga... Shizune, get in here!"
The dark head of the Hokage's perpetually frazzled assistant pokes out of the tiny anteroom Sakura had gone into earlier. There is an ink brush clenched between the woman's teeth, and a telltale black smudge across her pale forehead. She glances at Neji and her face flushes as though she is greatly embarrassed to see him there. Pulling the writing implement from her mouth, Shizune turns to her demanding mistress, "Yes, Milady?"
"Bad luck. I'm afraid we each owe Sakura one hundred ryo."
There is a loud whoop of joy from inside the other chamber, courtesy of the newly rich apprentice, and Neji finds that his left eyebrow has begun to twitch uncontrollably; did these women really wager that he was bedding Tenten? Is this what the leaders of the village do in their free time? The shinobi is not religious by any means, but he says a mental prayer to any deities who may be listening and asks them to watch over Konoha.
And to get him out of this room.
The two women are quietly observing his discomfort, Tsunade with obvious amusement and Shizune with that same chagrin plastered onto her features. After a moment, the continually stressed younger kunoichi breaks down and stammers, "I'm sorry about the bet, Neji. When Lady Tsunade said she was going to ask you, we… got a little carried away. Sakura said you two weren't together, I thought that just maybe you were, and the Hokage−"
There is a quick cough from the oldest person in the office, interrupting whatever the blabbing assistant had been planning to divulge. "That's enough, Shizune."
The fateful words are out of Neji's mouth before he can stop them: "I'd like to know."
"She was betting you were attracted boys," Shizune squeaks, ducking back into the relative safety of her workroom and slamming the door.
Tsunade glares at the shut portal before turning back to her cluttered desk. She sinks wearily down into her chair, and this time she does pick up the large flask, drinks deeply before slamming it down. The porcelain shatters and the woman frowns at the pieces before returning her attention to Neji. She eyes him for a long moment, seeing the irritation that he has not quite hidden, before pointing him toward the room's only other seat.
Knowing he has no alternative, Neji stalks to the overstuffed green chair− likely a relic from the days of the former Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi− and lowers himself down onto it. He is immediately engulfed by the stale odors of dust and tobacco smoke, and knows he has guessed correctly. A part of him wishes he were talking to that old geezer instead; their chat would have likely been about business, or at least not bordered on sexual harassment.
Tsunade gives the prodigy a few minutes to calm himself, knowing that the rest of the conversation will not be any easier for the Chunin. "Joking aside, I called you here because I need your opinion on an important matter. There is a serial rapist and murderer, likely a shinobi, on the loose in the capitol; three women have died in as many months, and the police have so far been unable to apprehend him. They've asked for our help."
Neji inclines his head in a show of understanding, his aggravation nearly forgotten now that he is being presented with the details of a case.
"On behalf of the village, I agreed," Tsunade continues. "I had our psychologist look at the physical evidence and draw up a profile, which we then cross-checked with a list of missing-nin. We've narrowed it down, and there's a promising suspect, but it's been two weeks and we still haven't found this guy; he might be laying low now that we're involved. I may need to send an operative in as bait, and I think Tenten should be it."
Some worry is niggling at the back of his mind, but Neji is too busy focusing upon the logistics of such a mission to pay it much heed; Gai and Lee are due to leave for an operation tomorrow, but he can take Tenten and maybe two others. If he notifies them tonight, it should leave them plenty of time to pack. Meanwhile, he can read over the incident reports and formulate a plan for catching the killer. "We can leave tomorrow, Lady Hokage."
A subtle change at his words, an emotion close to pity flitting across Tsunade's features. "You've misunderstood me. Tenten will need to go alone."
Bait.
Neji's mouth goes dry at this unwelcome revelation. He swallows hard and forces himself to ask, "Is this a… seduction assignment?"
"It might be," Tsunade says, sighing. The silence between them stretches, so she hastens to explain, "This mission is about finding and neutralizing this creep, by any means necessary. Tenten fits the description of all three women; if we send her undercover, get her to wander around the places he trolls for his victims, we might be finally be able to catch him. But he's got to be completely unsuspecting, which means no backup."
"Will she be armed?"
"No."
Too risky for Tenten to be without her weapons, Neji thinks. She might be proficient in both ninjutsu and taijutsu, but what if the killer proves better? His friend will need every advantage to complete this mission, and her tools are her greatest asset. Furthermore, some incidents from their pubescent years have given him doubts about her ability to just sit back and be manhandled. "There must be someone else, a kunoichi with more experience−"
Tsunade clucks, stares at the mess strewn across her desk. One manicured nail taps a piece of porcelain distractedly. "Less is more, in this instance. It has to be believable."
Neji does not want to think about her meaning. "Even so−"
"Dammit, Hyuga! I called you in because I wanted hard information, not hysterics," Tsunade snaps, face morphing into a scowl and brown eyes glaring at him. "I've got tons to deal with here; there are rumors of shadowy orgnizations, Sasuke is still missing and Orochimaru with him, and now there's this bastard raping girls… There is no one else I can send! No one! Now you tell me the truth: can Tenten pull this off, or not?"
"Maybe," Neji replies, still uncertain and now unable to think clearly because of the sudden fury that races through his veins. He cannot believe that this callous old hag had summoned him here and ordered his help, only to disregard everything he wanted to say. That she would be so willing to sacrifice his best friend, the girl who perhaps admires her more than anyone. The teenager tries to reason with the woman once more, "I would feel better if−"
"Your feelings in this matter are irrelevant. You're dismissed."
xxxx
"Neji?"
Startled by the sound of his name, the Hyuga glances up to find himself back outside the Hokage Residence, with Rock Lee peering worriedly at him. Rage had rendered him temporarily catatonic; he cannot remember bowing to Tsunade with the minimum respect allowable, slamming her door on the way out, or storming past a group of aides who had been waiting anxiously outside. And he had not heard Lee the first three times.
"What, Lee?"
The Green Beast frowns at his tone but does not back away; he hesitates with his answer, wondering at the politest fashion to say what it is he is thinking, before explaining, "Gai-sensei and I just finished our afternoon run. I am on my way to the hot springs, and… Well, you smell like you are wearing the cologne of hard work! Perhaps you would care to join me? A good soak might soothe those frayed nerves."
Neji exhales against the tension in his body, certain that a hot bath− which he still desperately craves− with Lee will prove anything but relaxing. He briefly debates upon going home, but there is little chance of getting any privacy in the family's communal bathrooms, and it is far more likely his foul mood would be noticed by pearlescent eyes and commented on. With little recourse, he gives a nod of agreement.
xxxx
They have paid their fee and are in the small changing room, one teenager standing on either side of the chamber and a wooden bench attached to the floor between them, the distance and obstacle part of an unspoken masculine code about getting naked with one another. Keeping eyes averted is another, but as Neji pulls his voluminous white shirt over his head Lee turns to him. "Did something go wrong at the Hokage's?"
Neji says nothing, merely folds the garment neatly− the action is more the product of meticulousness than actual training− and lays it in the wicker basket sitting on the shelf. He does not want to discuss the situation, his rage at the old woman or the loathing he has begun to feel for himself and his insecurities. Why can he not draw a line anymore, and be purely professional when it comes to Lee and Tenten? Is that a weakness?
Lee looks away when Neji begins to untie the knot on the waistband of his pants, focuses instead upon shimmying out of the green spandex suit; pulling both of his arms free, he pushes down on the fabric, working it over his narrow hips the way girls do their tight pants and tugging each leg out with a hop. Bunching the gaudy outfit up, he tosses it carelessly into the hamper, and adds, "Tenten is worried about you."
Neji pauses with his trousers draped over one arm, somehow surprised that his former teammates would make him a subject for discussion. "She shouldn't be."
The younger man− now clad only in a very small, tight pair of briefs− gives a shrug and adds almost accusingly, "She has been since that mission where we stopped in Tanzaku."
After adding his pants to his pile, Neji breaks his rule about keeping eyes on the floor and turns to face Lee. His friend chooses that moment to slip his bright orange speedo off. Kicking the odd vestment up into the air with a distracting genital jiggle, the shinobi grabs them single-handedly and slam dunks them into his basket. Disturbed by the whole scene, Neji just manages, "Tenten doesn't need to concern herself with me…"
Lee whirls around in all his glory and places his hands squarely upon his hips. He peers unabashedly at his former teammate, sensing things unsaid. "Because?"
"She should be worried about herself," Neji murmurs, glancing away uncomfortably. Knowing that he should not expound further, the prodigy turns his pale back to other ninja and hurriedly removes his boxers. They fall into the tiny hamper with the other dirty clothing− shame he had not thought to pay the extra and get them laundered− and a second later his hair tie follows.
Grabbing two fluffy towels from a stack on a nearby shelf, Neji goes to walk to the door and finds Lee standing in his way. Misunderstanding this unexpected blockage, he throws the other shinobi one of the cloths; the Green Beast catches it easily but does not turn to go outside. He looks Neji up and down with dark eyes, scrutinizing him. "We are not leaving until you explain your words. Is Tenten in danger?"
Neji frowns, aware that he is now trapped between the proverbial rock and hard place; slipping past Lee without resorting to violence will be impossible, and they really should not be fighting in changing room. He could turn and leave, but now that he is close enough to smell the slightly sulfurous baths, the virtuoso wants nothing so much as to climb into the steaming water and forget today's aggravations.
Giving in, Neji outlines what Tsunade had told him.
As soon as the account is finished, a gaping Lee steps absentmindedly out of his friend's path. Neji squeezes by, moving to the glass door leading out to the bathing area and hot springs. As he rolls it open with a clatter, allowing heat and sunshine to flood into the chamber, the astonished younger man standing behind him finally finds his voice. "You believe she cannot accomplish such a mission?"
Neji glances over one shoulder and voices the truth, feeling impossibly naked with the words. "I would rather she didn't try, and I'm telling you that in strictest confidence. Keep it to yourself."
Lee nods sagely and, moving to join his friend in standing at the exit, says somberly, "I agree, and of course I shall keep your secret. Tenten would kill us if she knew we had such little faith in her."
To be continued…
