A/N: Hey! Thanks for those of your reading! I really feel like a horrible person writing an idea this sad. Haha. I just couldn't get it out of my head. The next chapter won't be so depressing...it will be a little more upbeat. Thanks for reading!


Rolling up the brown bag, he shoved it into the last box. Holding up the notepad Sam flipped it back to the first page; the note to him wasn't the only writing this contained. Doing a quick flip through the pages Sam saw there were what looked like names, numbers and other random notes. He didn't take the time to go through it; there would be time for that later. Right now he heard Dean walking back toward the room.

Wiping his face up quickly, trying to hide the evidence of his tears, he shoved the notepad in his pocket. Dean entered the room, clearing his throat to let Sammy know he was there. Sam picked up the box and headed for the door.

"You okay?"

"Fine. You don't need to worry. Let's go find the landlord and take off."

Dean could hear the raspy quality to Sam's voice; see the red rings around his eyes. He didn't want to ask any more questions if Sam didn't want to answer.

A few hours later, they had dealt with the landlord and took off for Bobby's house. Sam said he would take the first six-hour driving shift and let Dean get some sleep. Dean passed out pretty quick. Sam, seeing his brother fast asleep, finally decided to let a few tears fall as he gave over to thoughts of what could have been. This was dangerous, the whole what if game, but Sam couldn't stop.

The hours passed faster than he thought possible, he was in such a daze. Dean took over when they pulled over at a rest stop for a few minutes. After grabbing some drinks and snacks from the vending machines they hit the road again. It wasn't long until Sam was immersed back into his nightmares.

Dean could see Sammy fidgeting and hear the small noises that escaped his lips. He didn't know if he should wake him or not. Probably best to just let him keep sleeping.

It had been twelve hours on the road and they were somewhere in Wyoming, halfway to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Dean pulled over at a motel and let Sam check them in as he grabbed some grub for the two at the local diner. There hadn't been much talking and Dean figured there wasn't going to be.

The boys ate in silence, and after ten minutes of picking at his food Sam took a shower and climbed into bed. The next morning after breakfast and checkout the boys followed the same routine as the day before. Sam drove first and then Dean afterwards.

Things start to mess with your sight after nearly twelve hours of staring at moving surroundings. They were 45 minutes from Bobby's when Sam finally had to close his eyes to get a break from window watching. When he opened his eyes back up, he swore he saw Jess.

They were slowly moving though some tiny town when Sam saw her. In shock he moved closer to the window attempting to get a better look. She was watching him pass, standing there, beautiful as always, with her blond curls flowing free, and a white dress on.

The weird part was, besides her obviously being dead, was that though the car was moving she appeared to stay right in Sam's view. Sam could see the small smile form on her lips, and then she opened her mouth, it looked like she uttered his name.

He had to know what she would say. He tried to yell for her, but he couldn't get the words out. Slowly she lifted her arms, turned to the side and placed her hands on her stomach. Pushing the free flowing material of the dress down, right hand on the top of her belly and left on the bottom, to reveal a hardly noticeable bump.

She was showing him that she was pregnant. She was showing him what was just out of his reach: her and their child. Clawing for the handle of the door Sam tried to get out of the car and run to her, except there was no handle. Sam's eyes turned back to Jess, pleading with her to help him follow her. Once again her mouth opened, but these words he heard:

"Why did you fail us? I thought you loved me more that life itself."

Gasping for air Sam awoke from his nightmare of a nap he had fallen into. They were parked in front of Bobby's, and Dean was just taking the keys out of the ignition. Jumping out of the car, Sam took off. He saw Dean's worried gaze and Bobby heading out to greet them.

Dean watched his brother take off around the beat up wooden barn that he parked out front of. He pretended he didn't hear Sam puke and gasp for air. Hurrying to the back of the car, he opened the trunk, removed his duffel, and took off to meet Bobby. The least he could do was save Sam the embarrassment of Bobby hearing.

"Hey, Bobby! Thanks for letting us crash here for a bit."

"You know you boys are always welcome."

Bobby looked around behind Dean, confused as to why Sam hadn't come out yet. Before he could make his way around Dean to try to find the younger Winchester, Dean grabbed his shoulder and turned him toward the house.

"Why don't you just show me where we will be sleeping? The past few days have been pretty hard on Sam, I think he needs a moment."

"Well… alright."

Sam finally meandered into the house, carrying his bag, nearly a half hour later. Bobby intercepted him in the kitchen.

"Hey son. It's good to see ya."

Bobby patted the boy on the back. Sam answered in a rough voice.

"You too Bobby, thanks for having us. Where should I put this?"

He lifted his shoulder to show he was talking about his bag. Bobby pointed back behind him in the general direction of the stairs.

"Upstairs, first door on your left. The room you usually take. I haven't touched it since you boys were last here."

"Thanks, again…"

"No problem. You just come on down when you're done putting your things up and catch up with me, would ya."

Sam trudged up the stairs and to his old bedroom. This had been the room he had stayed in on and off since he was a child. They had spent a good portion of their life here, and still came when they needed a place to crash or work on a new case. Bobby was more of a father to them than their dad ever had been.

Once in the room he unpacked and went to the bathroom to wash his mouth out and brush his teeth. Upon returning to the room he realized he had no desire to go downstairs and have to make small talk, or avoid things that made him think of Jessica.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed Sam decided to pull the notepad out of his pocket. He read the note about ten more times before he finally had enough of the torture and flipped it shut. When he did this, he once again noticed the names on the front page.

Now studying the words more closely, he saw a title on the page: baby names. Doing a quick scan of the list before his brain could register the pain. He saw his name, under boys, with a heart drawn beside it. Things kept getting too real for him; he couldn't take this.

Dean was downstairs filling Bobby in on everything that had been going on. He told him what leads they had on their dad, and on the demon that had killed Jess and their mom. If anyone could help if would be Bobby. He was pretty much the go to and connected to everyone in the hunter world.

Wondering what was taking Sammy so long to come down, Dean decided to go check on his little brother. He was getting a lot more worried about him of late. Taking the steps two at a time, he reached his brothers room in a few seconds, and pushed the door open after one quick sharp knock on the doorframe.

Sam heard the knock, but before he could say go away, his big brother entered. He should have closed his door, and locked it. Stunned he stood up and turned away trying to clear his face.

Dean strode over to his brother. He couldn't stand to see him in pain. Grabbing Sam roughly by his upper arm he spun him around and embraced him. He was going to try to give Sammy any kind of comfort he could.

"Hey! We are going to get that son of a bitch! I swear to you. I know you are hurting and don't want anyone to know, but I am here for you Sammy."

Pain throbbed through Sam's chest and his throat tightened as he attempted to hold back his tears. A sob broke though and he lost it in his brother's arms. Tears welled in Dean's emerald eyes as he felt the sob rake though Sammy's body.

"I failed her Dean. I failed Jess."


A/N: Thanks for reading! Please feel free to review or give ideas. The next chapter is going to be a bit different from the last two!

P.S. : to those of you with finals...like me...I understand and keep up the hard work! Good luck! Don't be like me and avoid studying by writing! :)