A/N: Now that Kara has returned from the 'dark side,' I have a few more chapters about the consequences of what happened. 'Falling' was sad but also exciting to watch. One of the best episodes this season. Kara knows the truth about Lucy, and James is determined to 'think about things,' here's the second part. Please read and tell me your thoughts. Thanks, everyone.
~o~o~
Chapter 2: Fantasies
A few days later, early morning:
After Kara's near confession and Lucy breaking up with him, James needed a much needed vacation. Still at the beach, he had some serious thinking to do about Kara and what happened between them. It was his last day at the beach, so he walked out onto the balcony and looked up at the sky. Coffee in hand, he had no idea what to do about them, if there was anything to do. They certainly couldn't return to the way things were.
Minutes later, he heard a swishing sound. He looked up and there she was watching him. He bowed his head not ready to talk.
"James, I was worried about you and," Kara said. He was silent not looking at her. "When are you coming back?" She paused. "I miss you."
His head came up at that. "I miss you too, but I'm alright," he replied, but they did need to talk. At least here, they could talk in private. "Would you like some coffee?"
"Sure, I'd love some." She landed on the balcony and followed him. "Nice place."
"I hadn't noticed," he said and went into the kitchen and made another cup. "Black no sugar?" He asked and handed her the cup.
"Thanks," she replied and took a seat. He sat down opposite her. They sipped their coffee for a few minutes and unable to stand the silence anymore, Kara spoke up.
"Things are bad, James. I did a lot of horrible things and most of all, hurting you was the worst part of it."
He closed his eyes and sipped his coffee. "No one got hurt Kara; that would have been very bad."
She bowed her head. "I know and," she said and put the cup down and walked for a minute. "Can you forgive me for the things I said?"
He looked up from his cup. "I've already forgiven you."
Her eyes brightened. "You have?"
"I can't stay mad at you; believe me I tried. It's just not in me to do it."
She tried to smile. "Well, I should go. Thanks for the coffee." She turned to go. He stood up, but her next words stopped him. "I won't finish what I was going to say until you're ready to hear it."
Before he could stop her, she leaped into the sky and was gone in seconds.
~o~o~
The next day at CatCo:
James headed into the office dreading this day but it's best to move on from whatever their rather enlightening 'indiscretion,' their talk in his office, and at the beach. It was pretty early and Kara hadn't arrived yet.
Thinking back to that fateful night, he had arrived back at the apartment and Lucy was gone, all moved out. The closet, bathroom, everything that she had brought with her was gone. No longer at CatCo, he resigned himself to just being friends with her, but he wasn't sure if that was possible.
A part of him would miss her and the life they both wanted, at least that was what he had believed, but it was over. He had to admit that he didn't love Lucy not the way she deserved to be loved. He shook his head remembering Kara's words to him. They were true; they all deserved better. He looked up from his desk and Kara was standing there watching him.
"Morning, got a minute?" She whispered and closed the door. Dressed like the 'old' Kara, she walked further inside. He inwardly sighed. "I can come back later."
"No, it's fine." He watched her for a minute. "Are things any better now that you?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, I'm fine but everyone is afraid of me." She paused and watched him pretend to be busy. "James, I wanted to," she started.
"Don't say it, Kara, I know you're sorry."
"That wasn't what I was going to say."
His eyebrows rose. "Oh, what were you going to say?"
"Just that I wanted to talk about how we're going to work together because people could pick up on this … tension between us."
He sighed. "You're right; we should talk, but not here."
"Alright, meet me on the roof in say an hour?" Kara asked and waited.
"Sure, I'll be there."
She tried to smile. "Alright, an hour it is." She left him staring after her.
~o~o~
An hour later and after side-stepping Winn and his questions about Kara and how they were going to help her restore the city's faith in her, he made it to the rooftop but Kara wasn't there.
He glanced at his watch, but he wasn't late, actually, he was early. A few minutes later, he heard a swishing sound. He turned and Kara was standing there in her costume watching and waiting for what he didn't know.
"Kara, why are you dressed like that?" He thought about it. "Oh, did you just come from a rescue?"
She came closer. "Yes, I have a lot to make up for, and I may be away from the office a lot, and maybe you could cover for me?"
He relaxed a bit. "Sure, no problem."
This time she did smile. "Thanks, James." A few moments of awkward silence as they stared at each other.
"Well, I should," he started.
"I wanted to," she spoke as well.
"You first," he said.
"Well, as I said this tension will only get worse if we don't talk about the other night."
"Kara, you weren't yourself and I think we should just … let it go."
Was he serious? She wondered. "Let it go?"
"Yes, let it go," he replied.
"But can you let it go? You kissed me back, James more than once; it wasn't one-sided."
He shrugged unconcerned. "Just a moment of weakness on my part. I was … worried about Lucy and."
She stiffened. "I see."
"Kara, please don't make more of it than it was. You're a beautiful woman and me being a man." He stopped as her eyes filled with tears.
"Don't say another word." She turned and flew away.
He pressed his lips together. "I'm sorry, Kara."
Of course, Kara heard it.
~o~o~
Once back downstairs, Winn watched James exit the elevator and enter his office. Completely engrossed in his thoughts, he didn't even reply to his question about what was up with him. A few minutes later, Winn came into his office and closed the door.
"Hey, why didn't you answer me?" He asked and watched his friend look out the window. "What are you looking at?" He came closer and he spotted Kara flying over the city. "Oh, I get it now."
James turned and sat down. "There's nothing to get. Kara is back to her old self and everything is fine." His comment was a bit strained.
"So, is she going to be alright? Her reputation is completely trashed."
James couldn't look at him. "She was infected but it will take time but she's back to normal."
Winn watched him squirm. "Why do I get the feeling there's more to this story, I mean, besides Kara being hated by the entire city?"
He sighed knowing he wouldn't drop it. "There's nothing more, but you'll find out sooner or later … Lucy and I broke up and she left the company."
"What? Lucy is gone … does Kara know?"
"Yes, she knows," James replied then he read his mind. "Don't say another word. Kara and I," he hesitated not sure what they were.
"I wasn't going to say anything … that you don't already know," Winn said interrupting him.
"Don't you have work to do?" James asked, meaning no more talk about Kara.
"I'm going; I'm going," Winn said, but with just one more parting shot. He opened the door. "It's not the end, James, it's only the beginning. Don't kid yourself."
James sighed again and glanced out the window.
~o~o~
Kara spent the next few hours, the same as the past few days, hoping to repair the damage by her bad behavior. She headed back to the school yard of young children to visit them, one in particular. Her faith in Supergirl may not be diminished. Kara landed in the yard. Laura backed up, her fear clearly visible.
Kara needed to fix this, but she had no idea how. "Please don't be afraid; I mean you no harm." She didn't move as not to scare them.
"Why did you do those horrible things? You scared us." Laura was visibly shaking plus she was almost in tears.
"I'm so sorry; but my mind wasn't right and I didn't know I had those bad thoughts." She squatted down in front of them. "You see, sometimes we get mad at our parents, at our siblings, and it gets so bad that we say things we don't mean, and we act out. And later, we're sorry about it and apologize and being your family they forgive you." She paused to gather her composure. "I know I'm not your family, but I care about all of you and I would never hurt you. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?" Eyes shining, she begged for their forgiveness.
They all glanced at each other. Laura took one step, then another. "I think we can in time. Is that Okay?"
"Yes, that's Okay." She paused. "Thank you, Laura." She stood up. "Thank you all for listening and think about what I said." She turned and leaped into the sky, then she heard their voices. 'Bye, Supergirl."
Smiling she waved goodbye, then Kara flew away, with a little hope restored.
~o~o~
Once back at the office, she had put it off, but she did need to speak to Ms. Grant. As Supergirl, Ms. Grant seemed to be able to forgive, but that relationship would need a lot of work, same as Alex and James. She could ask Ms. Grant about what Supergirl had said to her before she had tossed her over the balcony.
Ms. Grant seemed to have taken Supergirl's actions in stride. Kara saw the newscasts over the past few days and Ms. Grant tried without much success to play it down. Her earlier broadcast had rejected Supergirl and advised people to be afraid and not to approach her, but after their talk on the balcony, she would not continue to blame Supergirl for her actions. No one had been hurt and she saw no reason to dwell on it.
Kara was relieved, but that didn't completely ease her mind. After an early staff meeting, she approached her with a sad expression.
"So, you spoke to Supergirl while she was infected?" Kara asked.
"Yes, and it wasn't pleasant," Cat replied and sat down.
"I'm sorry to hear that." She paused. "Did she hurt you in any way?"
"No, but she did try and kill me, on a whim," Cat replied. "But it was more what she said to me."
"I see." She paused, not wanting to talk about her near death experience. "Do you want to talk about … the things she said?" Kara asked.
Cat looked up and Kara did seem concerned about her welfare. "She said that I was arrogant, self-serving, mean-spirited, and basically a tyrant and a bully."
"Oh, anything else?" Kara asked, knowing those statements were true.
"Isn't that enough?" Cat asked and stood up and walked. She did value Kara's opinion. "Do you think I'm all of those things?" She held up her hand to stop her from speaking. "Don't answer that; I know it's true."
"Well, maybe a little," Kara said and tried not to wince at her expression. "Ms. Grant, I know it's not my place, but," she hesitated.
She sighed. "Go on, speak your mind," Cat encouraged her.
"Okay, well, the power that you wield over all of us; it's not completely innocent."
Intrigued, she asked, "What do you mean?"
"Maybe it gives you the sense of being above everyone else, more important than anyone else, but that's not true."
Cat frowned and narrowed her eyes. "Go on."
"It just means that … the copy guy, the tech guy, James, me, all of us; we're all important; we all mean something, especially here at the office. And when you talk down to people; it makes them feel inferior, unimportant, and maybe they'll leave their jobs and go someplace where they'll be respected, appreciated, and looked up to."
"I see," Cat said and thought about her words.
"You don't want them to leave; do you?" Kara raised an eyebrow. "I mean you do need us." She was pushing it a bit.
"No, they all do a good job, including you," Cat replied.
"Then they should hear that from you, not every day, but every once in a while," Kara said and hoped she hadn't gone too far.
"Alright, Kara, I see your point." She waved her away. "Get back to work."
"Yes, Ms. Grant." She smiled and left her office.
Back at her desk, a few minutes later, Winn kept staring at her. She wasn't infected anymore, so why was he staring at her? James walked by a few minutes later. Now they all stared. Kara turned and sent each of them an email to meet her in the war room after work at 5:30 pm.
~o~o~
Later that day, the war room upstairs:
Kara paced back and forth impatiently waiting for her friends to arrive. She had to fix this tension between them. She knew James had lied to her about why he had kissed her that night, but she didn't want to bring that up now. Her actions under the influence of the Red-K had to be discussed. Plus, they had to come up with a way to restore her reputation.
She turned as they both walked in looking upset and worried. "I'm fine, now shut the door. We have work to do." She then told them her plan. "What do you think?"
"A press conference; it may work," Winn thoughtfully replied.
"But why; I don't like it?" James asked truly concerned. He was the one who had convinced Kara to release Lord. "Max Lord could be there and he could sabotage the conference. We don't even know if he has more of that stuff lying around. The more I think about it, I think he had an antidote against the Red-K all along."
"I know Max Lord can't be trusted; he's proven that over and over again. He wanted me to act differently; not the goody-goody Kara, but the aggressive Kara, more self-assured and violent and that's exactly what happened."
"I think he wanted to kill you Kara, by replicating green kryptonite. He said he didn't want to hurt you, but he wanted you to look bad and smear your reputation." Winn paused. "I'm just glad no one was hurt," he said, expressing all of their relief.
Kara walked for a minute. "Alex reminded me of his dirty dealings and we may not have a choice but to call him on it; release the information and let the pieces fall where they may."
"I don't know, Kara, that seems pretty drastic; it could backfire. Don't forget that he knows your secret," James said, cautious as ever.
She crossed her arms becoming annoyed. "Well, do you have a better idea?"
Winn winced at that look and turned back to the computer.
"No, but," James replied unsure what to say.
"I'll speak to Alex and J'onn and see what they think. Is that alright with you?" She raised an eyebrow.
"That's fine, Kara." James turned to Winn. "Could we have a minute?"
"Oh, sure; I'll … see you both later." He left them alone.
Kara walked over to the window, feeling regretful. "I'm sorry, James, I shouldn't have snapped." She rubbed her tired eyes. "None of this is your fault; it's mine."
"What? Of course, it's not your fault." He came closer. "I should apologize to you." He stood beside her. "I didn't mean those things I said on the rooftop."
She glanced at him. "I know you didn't. You wanted to push me away and I didn't get it at first but I get it now; I do." She paused when he hadn't said anything. "All those things I said to you while infected; the fact that we almost made love; but all of it wasn't the Red-K, not for me. I wanted you and I still do." She paused when he just stood there. "Were you faking it?"
He turned to her shocked she would say that. "No, I wasn't faking. I wanted it just as much as you did; maybe even more so," he finally admitted it. "I know you still want me, Kara, but I think it's time that I explain something to you, why I'm hesitant to be with you and just … let me explain."
Kara turned to her friend. "Alright, go on; I'm listening."
"I've never told a soul, not even your cousin."
"Okay, that sounds ominous. Should we sit down?" She asked and tried to lighten the mood a little.
"Sure," he replied. They both sat down on a two-seater sofa. "Well, it all began when Clark told me about you."
"Oh, and when was that?" Kara asked intrigued.
"A few years ago, after you started your job at CatCo. You hadn't revealed yourself yet."
"Okay, go on."
"Well, after Clark revealed himself to the world as Superman, I immediately thought what if there was a woman like him instead of a man? I built up this fantasy about him being a woman and."
She chuckled. "James, that's cute, but kind of weird."
He also chuckled. "No, it wasn't like that. At first, it was difficult for me to differentiate between you, Kara, the woman, and Supergirl, the superhero, and this fantasy I had about meeting you."
She narrowed her eyes, not understanding. "What do you mean exactly?"
"Well, after meeting you and getting to know you, I realized that you weren't a fantasy at all. You're a lot more than that. What's the word?"
"More down to earth, more … human," she finished for him.
He glanced at her face. "Yeah, all of that and more. But thinking of your cousin, I never looked at him as anyone other than just CK. He was friendly and he inspired me."
"Before you knew the truth?" She asked.
"Yeah, before I knew. Then I decided to come here, work here; but it was difficult. You were so amazing, friendly and outgoing, and then after you revealed yourself, I realized, that's the Kara I wanted to know, but," he hesitated.
"But what?" She asked, fascinated by his story about … her.
"It's complicated. I know this is going to sound weird, but I sort of fell in love with the fantasy. And that's when he told me about this job and I jumped at the chance … to meet you, to talk to you and to get to know you, and," he stopped when she just stared at him. "So you see, if we were to, you know, explore our attraction, I don't know if I could separate my feelings for a fantasy and the real you."
"That has to be the sweetest thing I've ever heard." She then told him the truth. "James, does this feel like a fantasy to you?" She took his hand; he didn't pull away. "Now, I have something to tell you. You were my fantasy."
"What; what do you mean?" He asked stunned and just a little turned on.
"I knew about you even before we met. Of course, I read about you, your accomplishments, how brilliant you were at your job, but it was my cousin who spoke of you often through emails and texts. He spoke of how much he admired and respected you, what a great guy you are, and I wanted to meet you."
"This is so insane," he whispered and stared into her eyes.
She touched his cheek. "We're not fantasies, not anymore, Okay? It's just you and me, flesh and blood." He nodded, then he pulled her to him, her head on his chest, she pulled him closer, not wanting to let go.
"No more fantasies," he repeated knowing it was definitely true. She pulled away and stared into his eyes. He did the same, then he touched her cheek and leaned in his meaning clear. They kissed and it was slow, sweet and tentative. Her arms reached up to pull him closer. His arms circled her waist and the kiss became more heated, not as hot as before but pretty close.
After a few minutes, they rested their foreheads against each other. "Kara, that wasn't the only reason I was hesitant about us."
She pulled away. "Tell me."
"I can't mess this up. I mean, Lucy and I were on and off for years and it just didn't work. I can't let that happen; not with you, Kara; I can't."
"Listen to me, James. You and I both know why it didn't work." She paused and touched his cheeks with both hands. "Love has to be enough. We will work at it; it won't be pushed aside and made to be second in our lives. It's the most important thing."
He pulled her closer and stared into her beautiful eyes, so brilliant and blue. "Kara, you said … 'love.'"
"Yeah, I did," she said and ducked her head.
He raised her chin. "We both want that; don't we?" He asked and waited.
"Oh, James, we do and we will." She smiled and they kissed again, both savoring the moment.
So, it appeared that Red-K turned out to be a good thing after all, well at least, in this one way.
TBC!?
~o~o~
Song Inspiration: So Emotional, Whitney Houston.
A/N: This song though; I was at the gym the other day and the lyrics, man oh, man, they're perfect! Anyway, hold on tight; we're getting there. We have to clean up this mess with the Red-K first. But James' fantasies about Kara before they met is canon; I didn't make it up! Stay tuned for more. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading. Reviews/kudos/favorites, all are love!
