A/N: Hello hello all you lovelies! Well let me say I did not expect you all to like that first chapter so much. Honestly, you all make my day. lol So, I know this is really short and not sweet at all, but I really wanted to post something for you all. Between school and work and life I'm not sure how often I'll be able to post but I will do my best, I promise. Thank you for all the follows/favorites/reviews, they really do warm my heart more than I can tell you.
Onwards and upwards!
I do the first thing I can think of. I call my mom.
"Alex? What's wrong?" she answers right off. Just hearing the concern in her voice makes me squeeze my eyes shut against the flood.
"Mom, have you heard from Kara?" My tone is too harsh but it's all I can manage and still keep a handle on the maelstrom of emotion swirling in my chest.
She pauses for a second. "Not since your dad… Why? Is she okay?"
I can't answer at first. I pull the phone from my ear, cover the receiver so she can't hear shuddering breath I heave out. Trying to calm my throbbing heart.
"Is your sister okay?" Mom demands.
I bring the phone back up to my ear with a trembling hand. "I don't know," I say. "I don't know, Mom."
"Talk to me, sweetie. What's going on?"
I rub my hand over my face, through my hair. "I screwed up. I screwed up so bad."
"Alex I don't understand. Is she in trouble? Are you-"
"She left and I don't know where she is," I blurt. My voice trembles the slightest bit and I want to slap myself for it. I shouldn't even be telling her this at all now that I think about it. She just lost her husband – again - and now I'm telling her that her youngest daughter is missing? But now that it's out there I can't stop. It just comes pouring out. "I said things back when everything was happening with Dad and I didn't think. I wasn't thinking and I was mad and we fought and I said something I never should have. And then, after, I was still mad and I pushed her away and I… I don't know where she is."
My throat is closing up again and I have to stop. I run my hand over my hair again, trying to take a quiet breath to ease the tightness in my chest.
"She… left? She's not in National City?"
I shake my head. "I don't think so. She left me a voicemail…"
"What did she say?" Her voice is getting sharp. Carefully controlled.
"Um… It was, um…" God, I don't want to have this conversation. "It was more or less a goodbye." I debate for a brief second on going into detail about what Kara had said, but I quickly decide against it. Mom doesn't need to hear all that right now. Besides, I doubt I'd be able to even get the words out. "Winn talked with her, I guess, and she just… She's just gone."
"Have you talked to her?"
I can't help rolling my eyes. "That's why I asked if you'd heard from her. I don't have a number for her. It's been disconnected."
Mom is silent on the other end for a moment. Then, "What did you say to her to make her do this, Alex?"
I let my chin drop to my chest and I close my eyes. "I really don't want-"
"Alex."
I do my best to steady the throbbing ache. God, I've never wanted to take words back more than I do right now. "I told her- well, with Dad… She didn't trust him and I- I told her either she was part of the family or she wasn't, and if she wouldn't side with Dad then…"
I can't finish and Mom gasps quietly on the other end. "Tell me you didn't," she murmurs. "You can't be serious-"
"I know I screwed up, Mom, okay?" I say. "I know that and believe me I wish I could take it back-"
"You shouldn't have said it in the first place!"
"You don't think I know that?" I want to yell but I can't, my throat is too tight. "I'm trying to fix it, but-"
"She's your little sister, Alex! How could you?"
It's like she's taken a serrated knife to my chest. For a moment all I can see is thirteen year old Kara, standing in my door in the middle of the night with terrified eyes after one of numerous nightmares. Little Kara cheering from the stands during my high school sports. Her halfhearted grumbling as I dragged her to science fairs. Sneaking out for midnight flights around the neighborhood. Pranks we only managed to pull off with her acting as lookout with her super hearing and super speed. The all-nighters we pulled just talking and sharing stories and giggling until the sun peaked through the window in the morning. I wish things could have just stayed that simple.
"I'm trying to fix it, Mom," I say. I'm surprised that my voice doesn't shake. "I will fix it. Just… Let me know if you hear from her."
I hang up before I get her response. It's immature of me and I know I'll hear about it later, but I can't listen to more of her disappointment. I have enough of that myself.
