Chapter 2:

Mackenzie had spent the last few days alone, her hurt and tears turning over time to anger. After everything they'd been through both professionally and personally, he didn't even have the desire to call her. He's always said that she's the best EP in the business and he hadn't even reached out to her on a professional basis. She came to one conclusion, Will is a douchebag.

For the first time since taking the position, she really had no desire to go to work. She loved her team of young journalists and would do anything for them, but she couldn't mentor them and interact with them like they deserved with Will in the picture anymore. If it wasn't for the Genoa story and the Africa mess, she would just walk into Charlie's office and resign immediately, but her professional reputation and her team were at stake, so no matter how much anger she felt for the anchor, she would see it through.

Mackenzie thought about the ground rules she had established and thought to herself that no matter what, she had to hold her ground, except for the courteous one; she really had no intention of going out of her way to be courteous to Will.

She walked into the newsroom and went straight to her office. She really couldn't deal with hearing about the personal issues or love life adventures that she would typically hear during their morning banter. She felt guilty for how she was treated her team, but just couldn't force herself to care this morning.

ooo

Will woke up pretty much as he had gone to sleep, a fucking mess. His head was pounding from the countless glasses of scotch he drank and his mind was swirling, he had no clue how to fix this. He remembered that in his drunken state he had called Nina and blasted her for lying about the message then in that same discussion awkwardly asking her for advice on what to do. Nina really wasn't stupid; she responded that he really was an idiot before proceeding to hang up on him.

He thought that maybe he should buy her a gift, then realized that Mac was way too smart and way too hurt to be bought. She'd probably either throw whatever it was in his face or even be more hurt and angered with him thinking that he could buy her forgiveness with a gift. As he showered the smell of cigarettes and alcohol from his body he was trying to decide on how to approach her. Should he start from a professional standpoint and using her loyalty to the team to guilt her into staying? He quickly decided that that would probably be the worst approach he could take. No. Should he apologize? Should he tell her what the message said? Should he get on his knees and grovel? He thought for a moment how odd this situation was, all this time he'd held his ground and it was Mac doing making all of the apologies.

The thought just occurred to him that he probably should have gone to see her at home instead of having to deal with it in the office, but it was too late for that, she would already be in the office by now.

ooo

He gets to the newsroom and goes straight to her office, but she's not there.

"Will! What did you do?! Mac is even more screwed up today! Whatever it is...fix it...fix it now!" Sloan says looking dead serious.

"Where is she?"

"No idea, she came in, we even rode in the elevator together...she didn't even say hello, Will. What the fuck did you do?"

"I just need to find her." Will says saddened, it was worse than he thought.

He leaves to find her but is interrupted by a very angry looking Jim. "I don't even know what you did, but it's bad Will and it's your fault. Mac deserves better than this."

"How do you know this is my fault?" Will responds.

"Because there is only one person on the planet who could tear her apart like this. She deserves better Will"

"I know. I just need to find her, where is she?"

"I don't know." Jim says.

He goes back to his office, starring at the wall, until he hears someone say her name to ask her a question as she walks by.

He jumps up and heads to her office. As he approaches he can see that Neal is with her. Although he can tell she's not herself, she is still patient with him. He's relieved just to see her, she belongs here, the team needs her, he needs her...he needs her more than anything.

Mackenzie looks up, she sees him and immediately a look of hurt and pain overwhelms her face. The pain on her face, the hurt, it's almost too much for him. Her face, the face that used to light up at the very sight of him is now just covered with pain and anger.

He walks into her office and Neal suddenly feels the need to be anywhere else. As he leaves Will closes the door behind him.

Mackenzie looks down, not wanting to make eye contact. She says, "What do you want Will?"

"I need to talk to you," he says with the most sincere look in his eyes.

"I don't think there's anything left to say Will. You know the plan, once Maggie is copping better and this whole Genoa nightmare is over I will gladly be out of your life forever."

It's the gladly part that stung him, how could she say that?

"No, Mac, you can't go."

"It's for the best Will, I've made up my mind" she says quickly. Will is worried, once Mac makes up her mind about something she really sees it through.

"What about the team, Mac? What about our show? What about us?"

"The team will be fine Will, I've trained them all well, and they are all so passionate about the show that I trust that they will be fine."

"And the show is called News, Night with Will MacAvoy, it's your show Will."

"And there is no us Will, there hasn't been for a really long time, you've made that abundantly clear."

"Mac, please don't do this."

"It's done Will."

"No, you need to hear me out, Mac."

"And why should I do that Will?. What are you going to say? We've been playing this dance for years now Will. You've had months to tell me what that message said and obviously you couldn't or didn't want to. We see each other every day, we've had drinks, we've had late night phone calls, we've played all of these games for so long, what is really going to change now, Will?" Mackenzie was almost proud of herself that she managed to get his out without breaking down, but was also saddened that she almost felt like she was over the tears, just numb.

Will looks at her, runs his hands through his hair out of nerves trying really hard to come up with something brilliant and profound to say, he still didn't know what to say. "Just listen, Mac. Remember when you told me that it was you holding the sign at the panel? Remember how you told me just to say what I'm feeling? That's what I'm going to do, that's what I should have done months ago, but I was a coward. Telling you how I feel is possibly the most difficult thing to do because it leaves me vulnerable. I didn't want to open up because I'm terrified of getting hurt again; I can't take getting hurt like that again Mac. But not telling you how I feel has is hurting you and you feeling hurt just hurts me too."

Will pauses, he steps closer to her, but she steps back. Mac is torn, part of her just wants to kick him out of her office, but she just can't bring herself to do it.

"Mac, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't bring myself to tell you how I feel…I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you what the message said…I'm sorry that I hurt you by sleeping with Nina…I'm sorry that I didn't run after you 2 days ago when you told me that you were planning to leave…I'm sorry that I'm doing this in the office, which is probably not the most appropriate place..and I'm most sorry that you can barely even look me in the face right now without this awful painful look about you. I love you Mac. I've never stopped loving you Mac, that has never been the issue, it's just more complicated than that. It's not just about loving you, it's about forgiving you and that's the part that I am still working on. But I want to forgive you Mac, I want that more than anything. I want you to look at me again the way you used to with love and happiness in your eyes instead of guilt and pain."

There is a long silence, Will is waiting for Mac to respond. Mac is pauses, waiting for Mac to say something. Mac who has been trying not to make direct eye contact with him, looks down. She is wondering that to say. These are the words she's been waiting months to hear, but it didn't give her the same satisfaction that she thought it would. Suddenly a small nervous and sad smile fills her face.

"You know its funny Will, ok maybe funny is the wrong word, but had you said those very words, months ago or even weeks ago, I would be melting in your arms right now and would have agreed to wait until the end of time for you to work out your issues."

"And now?" Will says terrified that he's lost his chance.

"I love you Will, I will probably love you for the rest of my life." She says tears starting to form in her eyes. Will was happy to hear those words, until he suddenly gotten the feeling like he had already lost her.

"And I'm glad that you are finally able to express your feelings Will."

"But?" Will says.

"I'm not sure, Will." She pauses and this time looks right into his eyes. "I know that most of this is my fault, but I can't keep begging you to forgive me, letting you punish me, it's just too painful Will. I would never do what I did again, and I wish there was some way for me to prove it, but I can't. Maybe love just isn't enough for us; maybe true love doesn't always prevail." Mac looks away, looks out the window, her heart breaks over the thought and her tears finally drop.

"Mac, you can't really believe that." Will says saddened.

"I just don't know anymore Will. I mean even if I stay what changes? You still don't forgive me so where do we go from here? We continue these games and then what…one day I make you angry so you go have revenge sex with whomever or whatever walks by? I'm not trying to hurt you or push you into anything you're not comfortable with. I am just telling you Will that I can't do this anymore, this ends here."

She walks out of her office and leaves Will to his thoughts. Will looks down; he doesn't know how to respond. He wants to keep her there more than anything; he can't bear the thought of not having her, but what he can offer her if he can't forgive her? "Fuck," he says.

To be continued.