AN: I do not own the Hobbit, I'm just borrowing the characters. No copyright infringement meant.
Chapter One
It was a rather nice, early spring day that had Bilbo sat on the bench in front of his hobbit-hole, smoking pipe-weed and playing with a golden curl that had escaped the knot at the back of his neck. Dropping the curl, he leant his head back as he blew a large smoke ring and heard the soft clinking of the small hoops at the top of his left ear. As he sat enjoying the sunshine on him, Bilbo began to feel restless and like there was someone watching him, which caused the normally-dormant side of him to get edgy. Opening his eyes, Bilbo noticed the grey-clad figure standing at his fence and raised an eyebrow before straightening up. "Good morning," he murmurs giving a slight bow of his head to the man before standing from his bench.
A smirk appeared on the older man's face and Bilbo felt that he should recognize this person. The Hobbit took a discrete sniff at the air when a breeze blew past him from the direction of the man and it clicked. "What do you mean?" the Wizard asks and Bilbo felt his jaw clench in annoyance. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"
It took everything Bilbo had not to growl at the Wizard before he finally responded a couple of seconds later. "All of them at once," he breathes putting his pipe back to his lips and taking a deep breath, releasing a plume of smoke once he was done. "Now, what can I do for you, Gandalf the Grey?"
The Wizard seemed surprised that Bilbo remembered him if the raised eyebrows and dropped jaw was anything to go by, causing a small smirk to pull at Bilbo's lips. "I am looking for someone to share in an adventure," the Wizard began and Bilbo felt a bit of curiosity pull at those words but made sure to keep it from his face, "and it's been very difficult to find someone."
"Well, that's to be expected, not many around here would even think of something like that," Bilbo murmurs as he moved over to the fence and checked his mail. "Makes one late for dinner." Most of the rest of his conversation was a blur to Bilbo as he was answering on auto-pilot while he tried to figure out why the Istari would be here. Moving back towards his door, he turned to look over his shoulder at the Wizard, "I suppose it does me no good to argue with you, Wizard, so I'll just say good morning and good-bye." Heading inside, he listened to the Wizard grumble under his breath about dwarves and stubborn hobbits before there was a scratching noise like the old man was doing something to his door.
Once sure that Gandalf was gone, Bilbo opened the door and glared down at the vaguely-familiar Dwarven rune carved into his newly-painted door. "Burglar for hire, indeed," he grumbles before shaking his head, he slammed the door shut before leaning against the table by the door. He stared up at the ceiling for a moment before he walked through the smial and into his pantry, pulling food from shelves to make sure he had enough to feed however many uninvited dwarves the Wizard had just invited into his home. While he readied everything so all he had to do was put stuff into the oven, take things out and stir the stuff on the stove, Bilbo gathered up everything he'd need for an adventure. Taking a seat at the kitchen table, he slowly began collecting the papers and things for Bag End so Lobelia and Otho couldn't claim it once the she-demon realized he was gone, having Hamfast go ask his Uncle to come see him.
When the Thain finally arrived twenty minutes later, Bilbo was in the middle of switching out things in the oven and motioned for him to take a seat. "Hamfast said that you needed to see me, Nephew?" the older hobbit began once Bilbo had joined him at the table and the golden-haired hobbit slid the stack of papers across the table to him.
"I've been asked to join in on an adventure by Gandalf," Bilbo murmurs watching as his Mother's eldest brother grit his teeth but remained silent. "I think it would be good for me, Mother wouldn't want me to stay around here and mope so I've decided that no matter what or where it takes me, I'm going."
Isengrim the Third stared at his Nephew for a couple of minutes before taking the pile of papers off the table and flipping through them to make sure everything was in order. "What am I to do if you die or decide not to come back?" he asks trying to keep his voice neutral and by the slight twitch of Bilbo's left ear, he knew he hadn't been successful.
"As it states in my Will, in case of my death everything goes to you, except Bag End, it's to go to Drogo and Primula because I'll be damned if Lobelia gets it. Mother's and Father's portraits, Mother's glory box and her pottery can be stored at Tookborough so that Drogo and Primula can move in," Bilbo says and an undertone of steel fills his voice at the mention of Othos' wife. "If I decide not to come back, I will return for what I want and then the rest will go to you to do with as you please."
The older Hobbit nodded at his words as he looked over the Will while Bilbo spoke and put the papers down to look at his nephew. "Are you sure you would like to do this, Bilbo?" he murmurs and the younger hobbit gave a quick decisive nod, causing the elder to sigh before nodding. "Then I wish you luck and may your adventure be grand." Standing from his seat, papers in hand, Isengrim made his way around the table and placed his hand atop Bilbo's golden curls. "Your Mother would be so proud of you and don't forget to say goodbye to your Grandparents before you leave." With that Isengrim was gone and Bilbo was once more alone in Bag End, the hobbit sighed before standing as several timers went off at once.
Whistling to himself, he headed back into his pantry and looked through his selection of ales, spirits and wines before deciding that most of the dwarves probably wouldn't drink anything other than ale. Rolling three barrels of the best he had into the dining room, he set them up to be used and headed back into the kitchen. The smial filled with the smells of cooked meats, stews and pastries, the smells wafting out the windows and bringing some of the young faunts around to give him puppy-eyes from his fence.
He'd just managed to finish cooking up everything, already had it on the kitchen tables and was in his bedroom packing his travel bag when he heard the knocking of his first uninvited guest. Exiting his room, closing his door behind him, Bilbo made his way towards the door and pulled it open just as the dwarf outside raised his hand to knock again. "Dwalin at your service," the dwarf says and Bilbo gave a small smile before stepping out of the way.
"Bilbo Baggins at yours," he says as the dwarf stepped into his home, looking around. "If you wouldn't mind removing your boots and weapons, there's a table for you to put them just over there." Bilbo nodded his head towards the large table he'd put by the door, " The washroom is through that door and dinner is on the table through there." The dwarf removed his weapons and boots as requested, hanging up his cloak on the pegs above the table before turning back to Bilbo. The golden-haired hobbit felt like he was being studied and felt like growling at the dwarf but held back, trying to ignore the feeling.
===============POV=Change=================
Dwalin observed the golden-eyed being that the Wizard had picked to join up with the company to reclaim their home and wondered exactly what the daft, old man was thinking. When he noticed that the hobbit, Baggins, he'd said his name was, had an eyebrow raised and his arms crossed over his chest as he stared back at him, he looked away and headed for the washroom.
Once back out in the hall, he followed his ears towards where he heard the hobbit and froze at the sight of the nearly overflowing table that the small creature was busy setting up. "You may go ahead and take a seat, Master Dwalin," the halfling calls as he disappeared through a connecting door into what looked like a kitchen.
The dwarf was a little bewildered and confused, all the other hobbits he'd met on his way here had been distrustful and a little hostile, so this one was confusing him. Taking a seat at the table, he looked over the selection of foods on the table before there was suddenly a large mug of ale in front of him, as well as an empty plate with silverware.
===============POV=Change=================
Balin observed the small beings around him as he walked through Hobbiton on his way to their burglar's home. The small beings didn't seem all that welcoming towards other races, well dwarves it seemed as they all made sure to give a wide berth as he moved. Wondering what exactly the Wizard was thinking when he'd decided to ask a hobbit, of all things, to join them on an adventure. The people around him didn't seem to care much for anything except food, friends, their gardens and their homes, which made him wary of whether or not the Wizard was wasting their time. Nearing the end of a dead end, he noticed the mark scratched into a round, green door and approached, giving a single, sharp knock.
===============POV=Change=================
Bilbo had just walked back to the kitchen after making sure that Dwalin was eating instead of sitting there staring off into space in shock when another knock sounded from the door and went to open it. The white-haired dwarf on the other side looked a little like Dwalin so Bilbo assumed they were related and after they introduced themselves to each other, he gave him the same information as he had Dwalin before retreating back into the kitchen. After listening to the two of them, he ended up finding out that they were brothers and that he should be expecting thirteen dwarrows by the end of the night.
Bilbo felt his eye twitch before the need to find, and strangle, a certain Wizard rose to the top of his 'to-do list.' Unfortunately, that's when two, almost simultaneous, knocks sounded on the door and the Hobbit forced his anger at the Wizard down before going to answer the door. "Fili," the blond dwarf says with a smile. "And Kili," the dark-haired one says. "At your service," they say at the same time, mischievous glints in their eyes as they bowed.
Bilbo felt a small smile lift the corners of his mouth before he introduced himself in turn, rattling off that they needed to remove their boots, cloaks and weapons, where to put them and where to wash up. Ignoring it when the two called him 'Mister Boggins,' Bilbo sent them into the dining room and leant against the wall next to the door into the kitchen, taking several deep breaths to keep from snapping at the dwarves. Dwalin and Balin had said something about how Gandalf was supposed to have informed him of their arrival weeks ago so he wouldn't get upset with the dwarves, at least, not if he could help it, he'd save his anger for the Wizard.
By the time true night had fallen, most everyone, including the Wizard, who Bilbo had had a long talk with, had already arrived and they seemed to be waiting for the last dwarf to arrive before saying anything. Bilbo was sitting up on the counter next to the warmer where he'd stashed a plate of food and flinched as the dwarves began tossing china after the little redhead, Ori, had asked what to do with his plate. After he made an offhand comment about being careful with the china and not blunting his knives, they began singing a song.
"Blunt the knives, bend the forks
Smash the bottles and burn the corks
Chip the glasses and crack the plates
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
Cut the cloth and tread on the fat
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat
Pour the milk on the pantry floor
Splash the wine on every door
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl
Pound them up with a thumping pole
And when you've finished, if they are whole
Send them down the hall to roll
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"
The golden-haired hobbit would never admit to being amused and pulled off being quite cross with them by the end of it. Laughing along with the dwarves when he cracked the door from the dining room into the kitchen to see that all of his crockery was still whole and piled neatly on the small table in his kitchen. They were all still laughing when there were three loud knocks from the door and they all left the kitchen, heading for the hall. "He's here," Gandalf breathes and Bilbo barely kept himself from rolling his eyes at the dramatics of it all as the Wizard went to open the door.
"Gandalf, I thought you said this place would be easy to find," the new arrival says and Bilbo stays in his spot on the counter. The hobbit wasn't at all interested in getting down because he'd drunk five more bottles of wine than he should have to keep from getting angry and didn't want to chance falling flat on his face. "I lost my way, twice. Wouldn't have found it at all if hadn't been for that mark on the door."
"There wouldn't be a mark on that door if some meddling Wizard hadn't put the damn thing there," Bilbo says as everyone returned to the dining room and he slid off the counter once he was sure he wouldn't fall or get dizzy. "By the way, Gandalf, when did I become a burglar?"
The Wizard gave Bilbo a look and the smaller man just shrugged before turning his attention to the newest guest, stilling when those piercing, blue eyes looked at him. "Thorin, this is Bilbo Baggins," the Wizard introduces and Bilbo ducks his head to the dwarf. "Bilbo, this is the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield."
The dwarf's eyes were suddenly back on Bilbo as he seemed to look him over, studyingly and Bilbo reigned in the urge to roll his eyes. "So, this is the Hobbit," he says as he continues looking over the smaller being. "Tell me, Mister Baggins, have you done much fighting?"
"Pardon me?" Bilbo mutters absentmindedly raising an eyebrow at the dwarf. 'Hmm, this Dwarf is being very rude,' he thought as he debated on telling the truth or pretending not to know anything.
Thorin just stared back for a moment before sighing and circled around the hobbit, continuing to look him over. "Axe or sword? What's your weapon of choice?" he asks coming to a stop back in front of the hobbit.
'Screw it, I'm going to pretend not to know anything,' the hobbit thinks before shrugging. "I have some skill at conkers, though I don't see how that's relevant," he says evenly trying to keep the effects of too much wine under control.
"Thought as much," Thorin says as a smirk pulled at his lips and he looked around at the other dwarves in the room. "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar."
Bilbo just ignored the laughter that followed that comment, especially seeing as he really didn't care what the dwarves thought of him and it's not like any of them had seen anything that would lead them to think otherwise. As they all moved to take seats around the table, Bilbo opened the warmer and took out the plate that'd been saved for Thorin before holding it out to the insufferable dwarf, who took it without a word. Annoyed, and hoping not to take it out on his guests, he decided to leave while the dwarves caught up, Bilbo slipped out of the dining room and headed deeper into the house towards his room so he could finish packing.
It was a good thirty minutes later and he was almost done packing when there was a light knock on his bedroom door. Moving over to his door, he opened it a smidge and saw Ori standing there looking slightly nervous before opening it a little further. "Do they need me in there now?" he asks and the shy dwarf nods as he curiously looks passed Bilbo into the hobbit's room. Ori's eyes widen as he sees the two swords, as well as the bow and arrow sitting by the wall just inside the door. Bilbo steps out of his bedroom, pulling the door closed behind him and glanced at the young dwarf, pressing a finger to his lips. "Please don't tell anyone." He looked confused at that but then shrugged, heading off down the hall towards the dining room, Bilbo following close behind. All of the dwarves seemed to be concentrated on a map and Bilbo peeked through the gap between Thorin and Gandalf, "The Lonely Mountain?"
The hobbit's words interrupted the talk going on around the table about the raven's return to the mountain fore-telling the end of a beast's reign. "If you don't mind me asking, what beast are you speaking of?" Bilbo asks tentatively, not sure if he'd get an answer.
The dwarf with the weird hat was the one that spoke up, pulling his pipe from between his lips. "Well, that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age," he says and Bilbo didn't know how he was able to keep the growl at the mention of another dragon, an evil one, from rumbling out his chest, as well as managing to look a little bit frightened. "Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks and extremely fond of precious metals."
"Yes, I know what a Dragon is," Bilbo says feeling kind of annoyed now that one of them was openly trying to make him scared. 'I am one,' he adds in his thoughts as he wondered when would be a good time to enlighten them on that point.
Ori was suddenly out of his seat, proclaiming, "Well, I ain't afraid, I'm up for it, I'll give him a taste of Dwarvish iron right up his jacksey."
The hobbit fought to keep from showing amusement like the rest of them and then Dori grabbed Ori's elbow and pulled him back into his seat, quietly telling him, "Sit down."
When Balin started talking about how they'd have a fight even with an army behind them but they were only thirteen and none the best or brightest. Bilbo had to stifle a laugh with his fist, making it into a cough at the last moment as several of the dwarves objected, starting an argument. This went on for quite a while until Fili broke through it with, "We may be few in number, but we're all fighters, to the last dwarf."
Kili then pipes in with a loud, "And you forget, we have a Wizard in our midst. Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time."
Bilbo snickered quietly when all the other dwarves turned their attention on the Wizard and had to press a hand to his mouth to stifle laughter again. The Wizard began trying to funnel the conversation away from his dragon slaying or how many he'd killed. The Hobbit saw the small smirk Thorin sent the Wizard as he began coughing and blowing smoke out his nose, trying to avoid answering the question. Quickly covering his laughter with a fit of coughing, Bilbo put a hand in front of his mouth to hide the fact he was laughing at the Wizard's discomfort. When everyone suddenly started arguing over how many dragons Gandalf had killed and other unimportant things, Thorin leapt to his feet, bellowing, "Atkât!"* Bilbo had been standing behind him when he'd leapt to his feet and the Hobbit slid quickly backwards, his years of training with the soldiers from Bree coming into effect as he readied himself for a fight if one broke out.
===============POV=Change=================
Nori was observing everything when he caught the hobbit's quick little movements when Thorin had stood. The thief's eyes narrowed on the smaller being, watching as the halfling's movements changed from the laid back, homely hobbit he'd been acting like and then, all of a sudden, he was ready to defend himself. It was a subtle change, one that no one would've noticed at all if they hadn't been paying attention but it made him see that there was definitely more to the hobbit than the small creature had led them to believe. As Nori turned back to Thorin, he was left wondering why the small being would make himself appear to be weak and unable to defend himself.
As if hit by a bolt of lightning, Nori sat up straight, eyes locked on the halfling as he realized the reason. Every single dwarf in this room had probably come into this house thinking the same thing. Hobbits were good for nothing but hiding and being invisible, weak in everything else so he was letting them all think he was useless. 'Interesting,' he thought before turning his attention back to what was going on at the table since he hadn't been paying attention while figuring out the hobbit.
===============POV=Change=================
While a member of the company had realized what he'd been hiding, Bilbo had lost himself to his own thoughts again, completely tuning out the dwarves and their conversation. He missed the talk of how he didn't look to be a burglar or how gentlefolk wouldn't be able to survive in the wilds and Gandalf getting angry and using his voice and a little bit of magic to stop the arguing. He came back from his thoughts just in time to hear Gandalf say, "Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. While Smaug is used to the smell of dwarf, the scent of hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage." Bilbo scoffed, making sure to cover it up with something resembling a cough as he lifted his hand up to his mouth and the Wizard looked at Thorin before continuing, "You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company and I have chosen Bilbo. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest." The hobbit had to hide the smirk that lifted the corner of his mouth, wondering if the Wizard knew more than he was letting on, before looking down at the floor, hoping that no one was watching. "And he's got a lot more to offer than any of you know, including himself. You must trust me on this."
Raising his eyes to look at the room through his lashes, he noticed when Thorin glanced at him before growling out, "Very well, we'll do it your way." The dwarf glanced at Balin, jerking his head towards Bilbo who felt his shoulders tense. "Give him the contract."
Ignoring the other dwarves, who all seemed ecstatic that Thorin had relented, Bilbo was about to ask when a sheath of parchment was suddenly pressed into his hands by Balin as he spoke. "It's just the usual, out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, etc."
Turning away to skim through the parchment, Bilbo was not expecting to hear the whispered conversation between Thorin and Gandalf, silently cursing his enhanced senses to the fiery depths of Mordor. "I cannot guarantee his safety," the dwarf whispers and Bilbo glanced out the corner of his eye at the two larger people.
"Understood," Gandalf murmurs with an unreadable look on his face.
Thorin raised an eyebrow at the Wizard, "Nor will I be responsible for his fate."
Bilbo fought to keep from laughing out loud and made it seem like he was starting to hyperventilate instead. "Agreed," Gandalf says and the hobbit snickered under his breath, looking back at the contract in his hands.
Reading through some of the contract aloud, Bilbo could feel the eyes of all the others in the room on him and had to keep himself from laughing at certain things. "'The present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof including but not limited to lacerations...evisceration...incineration?'" The hobbit made a squeaking noise to keep from laughing and fanned his face with a hand, making it seem like he might be close to fainting.
Bofur piped up and said, "Think furnace with wings."
Bilbo began fanning his face faster and hissed, "Can't laugh, can't laugh," in Greentongue to keep the dwarves from knowing what he was saying.
"Flash of light, searing pain, then Poof," Bofur continues and Bilbo turned back towards the dining room, knowing that his face was pale from trying to keep back his amusement, "you're nothing more than a pile of ash."
Breathing deeply to try and compose himself so that he didn't start laughing when he opened his mouth to finally start speaking. Bilbo could see that Gandalf knew he was trying not to laugh because the Wizard had a small amused sparkle in his eyes. "Did you really have to list all of the ways I could possibly die or be injured?" he asks and they all stared at him incredulously for a few moments before Balin nodded. Bilbo turned, heading towards the study for his writing implements and so he could continue calming down, away from the dwarves because their expressions made him want to laugh. Signing his name at the bottom, he pretended to be startled when he turned to see all of the dwarves standing outside the doorway before holding the contract out to Balin. "Here you go." Once Balin had taken the contract from him, Bilbo moved through the crowd of dwarves towards his bedroom. "There are enough guest rooms for all of you, make yourselves comfortable and have a goodnight," he breathes as he reaches up to undo the bun at the back of his neck, letting it unravel to its full length down to the backs of his calves as he pushed open his door, disappearing from view.
As he lay in bed, trying to force himself to sleep, he heard the dwarves begin singing and slid from bed, moving silently over to his door so he could crack it open. Sitting against the wall by the door, he listened as they sung.
"Far over the Misty Mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day,
To find our long-forgotten gold."
As he listened, a small smile stretched Bilbo's lips as he leaned even more comfortably against the wall.
"The pines were roaring on the height
The winds were moaning in the night
The fire was red, it flaming spread
The trees like torches blazed with light"
Now relaxed enough to sleep, Bilbo quietly stood and closed his door, moving silently back to his bed, lost in sleep a couple minutes later.
===============POV=Change=================
Thorin stared up at the ceiling of the bedroom he'd managed to get to himself and growled quietly as his thoughts returned to the hobbit in the room across from the one he was in. With his hair down, the Hobbit looked a lot like the image of his One that had appeared in his dreams since his coming of age, at least from behind. He never got to see his One's face very clearly, other than the laughing gold eyes, something he'd realized the Hobbit also shared. Running a finger over the mate mark on the inside of his wrist which was usually hidden by his bracers or clothes. The name seemed to be written in Greentongue, a language he'd never seen outside of the Shire and one the halflings didn't teach to outsiders. Shaking his head, he pushed thoughts of the hobbit far from his mind before closing his eyes to sleep.
Translations:
*Silence
