A/N: Just remembered how funny this story is and decided it deserves updating.
-2-
10:00 am
Julian's room
The morning sun peeks through a crack in the cardboard—a patch for his broken window—and illuminates the mounds of laundry, food containers, pop cans and various belongings littering Julian's floor and part of his bed. A single ray of light brushes his face, and his nose twitches once. Then again.
He reaches up and scratches his nose, then smiles sleepily to himself and re-snuggles his pillow. He's having a good dream, about Sofia. There's not much talking in it.
His nose twitches again, and annoyed, he reaches up and re-scratches it. A little too hard—his fingernails scrape against it painfully, and he winces, but the pain is gone quickly. He shrugs sleepily, and begins to return to his dream. He's actually cupping her breast in his palm.
Fingernails?
The corners of his mouth turn down slightly. Wait a second. His eyelids begin to flutter open, and when they do part, his blue eyes focus on the hand lying on the pillow right in front of it, the fingers lightly curled in a shape reminiscent of a breast. His eyebrows draw together, and a few moments pass, then he flexes the hand.
It responds.
He sits up straight in his bed and stares at his fingers. They clench in front of him—and then he realizes there is another hand as well, and he brings that up to his face, for examination. For about ten minutes, he just stares at the constructs. Then his eyes slowly raise to his dresser, and he sees the set of metal hands resting on the top, ready for action.
Julian would never admit to crying, but at this moment he bursts into confused, overwhelmed tears.
...
10:00 am
Laura and Nori's room
BRRRRRIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGG!
Laura's alarm clock goes off, and she slaps around on her table, her eyes scrunched closed. Then, because she gets frustrated at not finding it immediately...
VRRRRRRMMM!
CRUNCH!
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Laura shrieks, scrambling up in bed and staring at the alarm clock. Or, rather, the smoking hole in the wall behind where it had previously been. She blinks, trembling, and then finally scrapes up the balls to go and investigate. She reaches into the hole tentatively, and touches the metal clock with the tips of her fingers.
"AAAGHH!" She jerks her hand back quickly, the fingertips reddened and stinging. Laura grits her teeth and waits, knowing the pain will go away in a few moments.
A few moments pass.
And then a few more.
And then...a few more.
"Oh my god," she says, to no one in particular. Looking up, she sees that she is alone, Nori probably having left already to start her library studying period. Her mind swims. What—who can she see? Logan, she decides quickly. She runs to the door, rips it open, slams it behind her, then pauses as she realizes she is wearing only a thin tank-top and underwear. She turns around and tries to open the door, but the lock must have been on. Rolling her eyes, she makes a fist and twitches the muscle to pop a claw.
Nothing happens.
She twitches the muscle again.
Nothing happens.
"..." Laura stares at her hand in confusion.
Then she bursts into tears of frustration.
...
10:20 AM
Hallway between Dorm Rooms
Julian stops in his tracks. He'd been on his way to the headmaster's office, to see Professor Logan for some answers—since Dr. McCoy is elsewhere—but a peculiar sight has presented itself, in the form of Laura Kinney wandering the halls in her skimpy pajamas.
Her arms are folded tightly across her chest, and her expression is one of distress. She catches sight of him and comes to a halt as well.
"Don't you look at me!" she snaps.
"Why would I look?" he demands coolly. "I was just wondering what the hell you were doing."
"I got locked out of my room." Laura pauses. "Could I borrow a t-shirt from you?"
He wrinkles his nose. "And get your clone-sweat all over it? No thanks."
"Look, I'm in a desperate situation here!" she pleads.
"So was I, yesterday...remember?" Julian pauses. "Guess what I can do now." He raises his hand-his real hand-and gives her the finger.
Laura's eyes fixate on his hand. "What the—where—how—is Elixir back?!"
"Nope," he says, grinning. "I woke up and there they were. Must be like some awesome secondary mutation or something."
She raises her eyebrows. "What, the power to grow spare hands? You're a lame rip-off of Anole."
"Shut up," he replies, but something's different about the way he says it now. His voice is easier, more relaxed, like he is in an especially good mood. "This is the best day ever," he confirms. "Even you can't bring me down, Kinney."
Laura glares at him. "My day isn't going too well, because you're being an uncharitable jerk. All I asked for is to lend me a fucking t-shirt."
"And I said no." He pauses. "Have fun with the free show! Maybe someone will take pity and donate—"
"GRRR!" She slams him against the wall of the hallway, her one hand seizing his collar, and her other forming a fist. She twitches her claw muscles.
And twitches it again.
And again.
Laura looks down at her fist for the second time today, her eyebrows drawing together.
"I'm waiting," Julian taunts, his sneer growing. "You can't even bring yourself to—"
BOMF! as she punches him in the nose. His head snaps back, and then forward, and he grits his teeth against the pain radiating in the middle of his face. Laura stares at the damage with raised eyebrows, surprised-the tip of his nose has a definite leftward tilt now.
"YOU BUCKING BIDCH!" he roars, blood spurting onto his collar. "You boke my bucking nobe! I'll—" There is a sound like a pepper grinder, and his nose straightens. "—tear your spine out?" he finishes uncertainly.
Laura's eyebrows draw together again, and she examines his nose closely. "You have a healing factor," she finally says.
Julian blinks.
"Awesome!" he says, and then he head-butts her.
...
10:30 AM
Hallway between Dorm Rooms
Julian is straddling her shoulders now, pinning her limbs to the ground with his knees, and is just hauling back his fist to give the girl he absolutely hates a prize-winning, knockout blow, when it happens for the first time.
SNIKT!
"AWWWRGGHH!" he shouts, at an unexpected burst of pain in his hands. It disappears almost instantly, leaving...
They both turn their heads to gaze at the three razor-sharp, bone-white claws sticking out from between his knuckles, covered in blood and mucus.
"...okay," Julian says, his brow wrinkling.
Laura's eyebrows shoot straight up, and her face fills with accusing. "You stole my clone-thing from me, you douche-bag!" she shouts.
He looks back at her. "You can't be serious."
"I am!" Laura kicks the ground with her heel. "Those are my claws! That's what they look like without metal!" She pauses. "It all makes sense—the healing...your hands...my alarm clock..."
"Your alarm clock?" Julian looks even more confused.
"I thought you busted into my room today," Laura says, her lip curling. "When my alarm clock went off this morning, there was a big green flash and your power noise—and my clock made a smoking hole in the wall. It was so you."
"..." he stares at her. "I don't-what in the hell logic are you using?"
"You must have snuck in through the window to creep on me." Laura pauses. "Then you stole my clone-thing! You're a complete asshole!"
"I've never heard anything more ridiculous in my life." Julian sneers. "I wouldn't creep on you if you paid me. And no—I didn't steal your clone thing. These are my cool powers."
"Don't believe me? Here!" Laura wiggles her arms out from under his knees and reaches up. "Smell!"
"Why in the hell would I want to smell your..." he trails off, as suddenly an overpowering aroma fills his nostrils, similar to the way an oven full of cookies slowly permeates the air with cookie-odor. His forehead wrinkles, and he looks down at her.
"Okay...this is definitely weird." He pauses. "But I did not take your...clone thing."
Laura pauses. "Then why the hell were you in my r—" her eyes widen as she realizes something, and she tries to shove him away. "Oh my god—oh my god—I'm going to be sick! GET OFF!"
"Wha-" he starts.
VRRRRRRMMMM!
KA-SMACK!
Julian slides down the wall, feeling his ribs popping in an odd way. "Urrrgh," he says, then hits the floor and feels his spine realigning with an additional series of cracks. For a moment he concentrates on breathing past the pain, and then suddenly it is gone. His claws have retracted somewhere along the way, too. He looks up at Laura, who is covering her mouth, her eyes closed.
"Think I figured it out too," he says, in a grim tone.
"Oh my god. I have your powers in my head," Laura says. She pauses. "I have to end myself."
"Shut up." He gets to his feet, feeling another series of pops as joints realign themselves. "This healing thing feels really weird."
Laura ignores him. "We need to see Logan, NOW!"
"Agreed." Julian pauses, his eyes slipping down to her chest finally, despite his talk of being completely uninterested. Laura follows his gaze, and sees that on strap has been entirely ripped in the struggle-and she is exposed on one side.
SNIKT! as Julian's claws pop again.
They both flush, and she quickly pulls the fabric up to cover herself.
"Uh, do you still want a t-shirt?" he asks, his voice a little uneven.
Laura glares at him.
...
10:40 AM
Julian's room
Julian pauses, in the middle of opening the door to his room. Then he makes a choking noise, and slams it shut, shuddering.
Laura gives him a questioning look.
"Never knew how bad it smelled in there," he mumbles, his hand against the door. He pauses, then pinches his nose and wrenches the door open again with his other hand. "Uhh, I think I have some clean t-shirts in the closet," he says in a very nasally voice.
Laura peers into the room. "Oh my god—this is a hell-hole!" she exclaims.
Julian shrugs as he wades through the piles of laundry toward his closet. "I was...busy. Hey, how do I make these things go back in?" He is referring to his claws, which are still ready for action.
"There should be a muscle in your wrist and forearm," she answers. "Relax it."
He pauses, trying to do as instructed. On the third try, the claws finally slide back in with a gentle, sliding snakkkt noise. He examines his knuckles, amazed that the wounds from the claws are already completely healed, as if they had never been.
And then he's amazed all over again that he has hands.
He reaches toward the closet and makes a fist, then remembers that he can't do that anymore. He crosses the last few feet and begins rummaging through the clothes on the hanger. Finally he pulls out a grey sweater with a large round X on it and holds it up questioningly.
"Perfect."
He heads back over and starts to give it to her, then hesitates. His eyes slip to her top, which she is still holding up with one hand. "Okay—I've got to ask if I can touch it," he says.
Laura's eyes narrow. "Is this your idea of a sick joke?"
"No." Julian winces. "I wish it was. I really hate you—I really, really hate you, Kinney. Worse than Ashida...or Alleyne. Like no one else in this world. Let's just say that if I saw your guts rotting in the trash, I'd throw a party." He pauses. "That said…I'll admit, you have one of the best racks I've ever seen."
She raises an eyebrow. "That's a mixed compliment if I ever heard one," she says. "But I thought you wouldn't creep on me if I paid you, remember?"
Julian shrugs. "I meant that I wouldn't go out of my way or anything. But...come on. It's right there, and I just got my hands back. I need to break them in."
"The answer is hell no, Keller. Hand that sweater over."
He pauses, then holds it up above his head. "Let me see them first. Ten seconds. Come on. Then I swear I'll let you borrow this. You can have it."
Laura scowls at him, and then…her eyes begin to glow.
"Oh sh—" he starts.
VRRRRMMMM!
Julian stumbles backward into the closet. He tries to grab onto the sides but fails and falls in through the slightly open door. He blindly grabs at anything and everything to slow his fall…and the result is that the then the rod holding his clothes up gives way in a fantastic, muffled crash!
A moment later, Laura approaches him to survey the damage, now wearing his sweater. "Quite an annoying power, hmm?" she asks him sweetly.
He glares up at her through a mess of pant legs and sweaters that have fallen on top of him. "I could cut you, you know. And you wouldn't heal."
"I don't think so." Laura reaches out and slams the closet door on him, then leaves his room, grinning.
...
11:00 AM
Headmaster's Office
Logan rubs his temples. "Christ. I knew letting that Summers kid visit was a bad idea."
Laura folds her arms. "Summers anything is always a bad idea. Thought you knew that by now."
"Heh." Her pseudo-father leans his chin on his hand. "Okay. So it seems pretty cut and dry to me—just get her back here to undo whatever voodoo she put on you guys."
The girl sits up straighter. "You mean—she left?"
"Yeah, she teleported back to Utopia. After ranting to me about what you and the Keller kid said to her." Logan pauses. "You pissed her off something good."
"Shit," Laura says, wrinkling her nose. "That means—Logan, I'm vulnerable right now! What if someone like Kimura comes?"
"Then you use the powers you do have to hold her off till I get there."
She pauses. "But I'm not practiced with it! I don't know how it works. I—I mostly end up tapping into it when I'm mad."
"Then I'd recommend training with Keller until you get good at it."
Laura sputters. "Are you out of your mind? I—I—there are no words. Logan…I can survive thirty-four kinds of torture, but your solution would literally kill me. Please. Be reasonable."
"Quit yer whining." Logan fixes her with a stern look. "I think this will be a good experience for you two. Teach ya how to work as a team. Shit, maybe I should make all the kids do this."
Laura unfolds her arms and glares at him. "Logan, you can't—"
"I can do whatever the hell I see fit, kid." He grins. "I'll look into it. But for the meantime—you and Keller, in the practice rooms...until you're as good with telekinesis as he is."
"Surely you're joking."
"No, I'm not. What's more—I expect you to teach him how to fight with your powers. Can't have a bunch of kids who have no clue how to defend themselves."
"I thought you were trying to get away from the whole militant kids idea!" Laura protests.
"That don't apply in your case. Now go on—I have paperwork to do." He waves her away. For a moment she remains sitting, speechless, then she stomps away and the door slams behind her. She runs into Julian outside a few steps outside, obviously on his way to see Logan.
He looks uncertain. "You think—"
"I don't want to talk to you!" Laura snaps, her eyes glowing. "If you keep bothering me, I will do what you always threaten me with and choke you with your own intestines!"
Julian is silent for a few moments, looking disconcerted. "I heard that we have to practice together?" he asks, finally, his tone carefully neutral.
"I think he's not going to reverse this anytime soon," Laura says, her teeth bared in a snarl. "He's going to sit on his ass and let us simmer. Payback for all the trouble you caused when you picked fights with me!"
"Wait a minute—I didn't pick all of those fights!" Julian glares at her. "They were mutual."
"They sure as hell were not!" she rages. "You're like a mosquito, Keller. You're insignificant and annoying—and you live to provoke slaps."
SNIKT!
Julian glances down involuntarily at the claws between his fingers. "Yeah—well—you're an irritable cunt!" he retorts.
Laura grins. "I have no inhibitions about making your life miserable...and I love irony. There'd be nothing sweeter than harassing you in all the ways you harassed me and my friends over the years. Remember all the keep-away games? The pantsings? The unwarranted mud fights? The art classes you turned into unmitigated disasters? Because I sure do."
He pales slightly. "Look—seeing as we're being forced to stay in this situation—maybe we should back off. What if we just do what Wolverine said? If we cooperate right away, maybe he'll let us off the hook quicker."
Laura pauses. "Why did you call me a cunt, then?"
"Reflex," he answers. "Just like these fucking things. Why won't they stay in? I didn't see you popping your claws every time you were mad."
"That's because I have years of expertise with them, Keller." She narrows her eyes. "Which I will in no way or form be sharing with you."
"Fine," he says, curling his upper lip. "Good luck controlling a power that basically makes what you think actually happen."
"Haven't had trouble with it yet," she points out smugly. "Maybe it's only hard for you."
He grins. "Oh, sure. Trust me—wait till you zone out in class. You have another thing coming."
"I'm looking forward to it," Laura says.
They turn around and head in opposite directions.
