A/N: So here is Chapter 2... up pretty soon as I want to continue the setting up of the characters. I have a few links on my profile that I have put up, and I will be continually adding throughout the story so that you guys can get a good visual too [incase my written visuals suck haha]. Just keep in mind that I don't actually live in Seattle, so I'm making most of the locations etc up. Also, in this story Alice has long hair. Check out my profile page for pictures of all the characters, as well as Bella's office and Apartment. Thanks for reading and PLEASE REVIEW!!!
I stood at the foot of the stoop that let up to my Seattle apartment that I shared with my 2 best friends, Alice and Emmett, luggage in hand.
It was sunny today which made the freezing weather quite mild considering it was mid-winter. I was dressed in many layers of clothing, but there was no wind and if I stood in the sun long enough, I thought I might be able to get warm, eventually.
There was something in the air today. I felt… renewed. Yeah, that was the word for it. I felt like I was stating fresh. For some reason, I had this feeling like things were going to change. Something grand was about to happen and I was excited.
I made my way up the stoop, into the elevator and up to what had become my home in Seattle- Apartment 3C.
Before I could even get my key in the lock, it had swung open and I had been tackled by a pixie- my best girlfriend on the planet, Alice.
Alice was gorgeous- She had long brunette hair, similar to mine. She had a small frame, probably only about 5'2'', but she made up for in personality what she lacked in height. She had an endless supply of energy, and was a shopping fanatic, a habit that I had picked up since we became friends. She owned her own clothing boutique in Seattle called Fortune Teller. It was a long running joke that Alice could see the future, and it was quite creepy when she got a feeling about something, because she was usually right. Nobody ever betted against Alice. We had only been friends for 3 years. When she finished studying fashion in Paris, she returned to Seattle- god knows why- looking for a place to live. I had interviewed her for the spare room in my apartment, and she was perfect. We have been inseparable ever since. She was the most reliable person in my life. And currently, she was squeezing me so tight that I couldn't even breathe. She had a surprising amount of strength for someone so small.
"I missed you so much, Bella. How are you? How was the service?" She looked at me with nervous eyes, probably expecting me to stat crying or something.
"I'm fine. Really. Everything went without a hitch. I didn't even cry." I tried to reassure her, although I'm sure I wasn't very successful.
It was then that Emmett popped his head around the corner, with a big cheesy grin on his face. He embraced me with a big bear hug; lifting me about 2 feet off the ground. Emmett was huge. He was over 6 foot tall, with short brown/blonde hair and BUFF. He had muscles all over his body, and he could be quite scary if you didn't know him. He was a pro football player, but he was just a big teddy bear on the inside.
"I'm Glad you're back Bella." He smiled at me.
"Thanks guys, you're really sweet. If you don't mind I'd probably just like to spend the rest of the day by myself. Unpacking and everything, you know…"
"That will not be a problem. Emmett and I were just about to head out anyway" Alice nudged Emmett's side enthusiastically.
"We were?" He looked puzzled, and I knew that this was the first he had heard about it. "Oh, right. Yep. I'm just starving, and uh… I had a huge caving for Pepperoni Pizza!" Alice smiled at Emmett in approval.
"Can we bring anything back for you Bella?"
"No thanks guys, I ate on the plane. But have fun" I smiled. I had to give them credit. They got the hint that I didn't feel like socializing and they were trying to be accommodating. They really were the best friends I could ask for.
"Bye then!" I called out, moving my suitcase inside as Alice literally dragged Emmett down the hall-way to the elevator. I saw her whispering into Emmett's ear just as the apartment door swung shut. I sighed, looking around. I suddenly realized that I was expecting something to have changed, but there was no difference. It was exactly the same. I'm not sure why, but this disappointed me.
I opened the room to my door, laying my suitcase on the bed. I grabbed my iPod from my handbag, and decided to put on some Kings of Leon while I unpacked. I was a huge fan, and I found them soothing and relaxing and sexy all at the same time. I began unpacking mindlessly, while singing along to my favourite song on the album, Revelry.
Just know it was you all along who had a hole in my heart, but the demon in me was the best of friends from the start.
I couldn't help but begin to dance, slowly, and subtly… the music moved me. I swayed my hips back and forth, spreading my arms up above my head as the soothing beat of the drums and bass seemed to take me over. And for some reason, it reminded me of Renee.
See the time we shared it was precious to me, all the while I was dreaming of revelry.
It seemed to describe her exactly… I was her only daughter, and I had no doubt that she loved me, but she had to live her life. Satisfy her demons, or she wouldn't have been happy. It seemed I was having an epiphany. I stood there, in the middle of my room with my mouth open, staring at the wall. And it was then that I sat down on my bed and began to sob. I wasn't sure why I was crying, but once the tears had started, they weren't going to stop. I realised then, that I respected my mother. I had to, because she took a chance. She lived her life, and she took chances. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do by me, but I tuned out okay in the end. I got through college with top grades, I had a great paying job, great friends and a place to live. And I'm pretty sure I was mentally stable. No long-lasting damage was done to me. And even though I couldn't deny the resentment that I sometimes felt toward her for leaving my father and me, I admired her for risking everything she had to do what she felt she needed and wanted.
It was a quality I had not inherited from her. I was so much like my dad. I never took risks. I was always reserved, well mannered and polite. I thought my decisions through before I made them. I always paid my bills on time and saved whatever I could. I didn't get drunk every weekend and party like crazy. I never had one-night stands. Hell, I've only had sex with 2 guys and I'm now 25. I tried to not linger on that thought… I was in a nice, secure job and everything in my life was safe. I had a routine that I followed and it made me happy. Or so I thought. If I was so happy with my life, then why was I jealous that my dead mother had the guts to abandon me and live her 20s like some crazed hippie? What kind of reasoning was that? I was simply going crazy. What the hell was wrong with me?
I sat on my bed, head in my palms. As the sobbing turned into full on wailing, I heard a click and then a creak as the door handle to my bedroom was turned and then opened. I looked up to see Alice approaching my bedroom with a pained expression on her face, and Emmett leaning against the threshold of my door.
"Oh, Alice!" I mumbled and as she sat down on the bed next to me I shoved my face into her shoulder and she hugged me back as tight as she could.
"Shhh, My beautiful Bella. It's ok" She rubbed my back with the palm of her hand. "Let it out"
"She... She couldn't help it! She had demons… She had to leave me. And it's ok." I blubbered. I knew she couldn't have understood what I was saying but that didn't stop me from telling her.
"I forgive her… I love her... I just… I- I understand now, why and… and I'm not mad at her anymore Alice. I want her to know that" I looked up at Emmett as he walked over and sat on the other side of me. He turned down the sound on my iPod until it was a faint sound in the background.
"I think she knows" Emmett seemed like he was thinking out loud. He grabbed my hand and placed it in both of his, staring ahead of himself instead of looking at me.
"Sometimes, we think we know everything. We think that nothing could burst the little bubble we are in, and we all have our assumptions, and we usually never change them. We judge people, based on their behaviours, what they look like, what they say. And people judge us by the same token. But sometimes, Life throws things at that little bubble. It tries to chip away at everything that makes you, you. It might be something little, or something big. Sometimes, it's even something sad. And we are never ready for it. And it's hard. I know, it can be really hard. But sometimes, when we experience major life changing events, it makes us realize that really we never knew anything at all."
I looked at Alice, and then back at Emmett. We both had stunned looks on our faces. Emmett smiled, and continued.
"What I'm trying to say Bella, is that we all have to make decisions in life. Hard decisions. Your mum made such decisions. She took a leap and it led her to a place where she could find happiness. Now, I don't want to disrespect you or your mum, but I think that she had faith that one day you would understand her decision. And it seems to me like you have. Maybe you will even take your own leap of faith." He seemed content with that and looked over at me, reaching to pull a few stray strands of hair that had stuck to my face.
"Wow, Emmett… I…" I didn't even know what to say. To be honest I didn't think Emmett had that kind of depth to him, and I felt terrible for thinking that. He had always been the goofy, fun one, not the deep philosophical one.
"That was really profound" Alice concluded, nodding silently to herself.
"Come here you" He reached over and grabbed me, hugging me tightly.
"We didn't really leave. I'm sorry. I just knew…" Her chirpy voice trailed off before I interrupted.
"It's okay Alice. I'm actually glad you came back. It's the first time I have cried since she died, and you guys have made me feel a lot better about everything that I'm feeling right now"
"Oh honey, I can't imagine. It must be so hard"
"You know what, it's weird. I sort of feel… peaceful. And this might sound really strange… But I have just felt like she's where she needs to be. That maybe she's finally found real happiness"
"I hope she has too, Bella"
Before I knew it, it was Thursday. I'm not sure how the week went by so fast. I was so immersed in my work that I had little time to do anything else. Because of my few days off after my mother's death, I had hundreds of emails to catch up on and I currently had 3 different manuscripts to edit by Monday. It didn't sound like a lot, but I was meticulous and thorough, to say the least. I loved my job. I loved being surrounded by people that loved to write everyday, and I loved that I played some part in making their dream of getting their novel published come true.
I had hoped that one day I would become a writer. But I never found anything that I wrote good enough, and I had certainly never showed it to anyone. My stories stayed locked on my laptop.
I was interrupted by a faint knock on the door. It was Mike, my assistant. Mike had dirty blonde hair. He was short, but he made up for that in muscle. He was as camp as a row of pink tents, and I loved him. He had quickly become a close friend when I started work here 3 years ago, and I could always count on him providing funny social commentary on what was going on around the office, or anything for that matter. He especially liked to pick on me, but I didn't mind.
"Sweetie, its 5:45. When are you gonna go home?"
I looked up from my manuscript and leaned back in my chair, stretching my arms out above my head, yawning.
"I know... I know… I just, wanna make sure I'm finished everything by the weekend"
He leaned on the door and smiled at me.
"You work much too hard. You know everybody else has left. You're the last one here"
"Shit, really?" I sighed. I knew Mike was right, but I couldn't help being passionate about my job.
"You know, you're never gonna find yourself a man if all you do is work at this lousy joint for ten hours a day" He began to pick at his fingernails, seemingly disinterested, although I knew he was trying to get a reaction out of me. He loved to pick on my constant single status.
"Ha! Mikey, you know you're the only man for me" I smiled.
"Honey, you better go see a shrink if you think I'm the right man for you". And with that he turned around and swaggered out of the office.
"I'm outta here, See you tomorrow!" He called out as I heard the elevator ding.
"Bye" I said, mostly to myself. I stared down at the manuscript in front of me, but it was no use. Mike had pulled me out of my little bubble and distracted me. There was no chance of me concentrating on anything now. Because now, all I could think about was Edward Cullen.
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