A week had gone by since the first Phoenix meeting. Remus was staying at headquarters with Sirius and the Weasleys because he had not been successful in finding a job and therefore had no money to pay for rent. Remus hated having to depend on Sirius' wealth for food and board; he was a very prideful and independent person and he hated being a burden on anyone but himself, he felt he deserved it. He felt ashamed he could not fend for himself because of his condition, laws were unjustified and people were very prejudice and scared of him. Remus could not blame them though. He was a monster; he just wished he could prove himself to others so the monster would not be always knocking at his door and hindering him. Remus' way of thinking was that if it was a big deal to those around him it was an even bigger deal to him. Remus is too kind to force himself on others so if they are uncomfortable he just goes on his merry way alone.
Remus is a brilliant man with a huge heart filled with compassion and love but he keeps it locked away to ensure he is unharmed. It sounds selfish but no one can even imagine the pain Remus has had to suffer through in his life time. Remus is always distancing himself from everyone outside the order and the only one he can allow his guard down with is Sirius. They were the only remaining best mates and they both needed one another.
Sirius was so happy Remus couldn't find a job and was staying with him. He was sure he would go mad if Remus was not there. Remus and Sirius found ways to entertain themselves in the new dark and dingy headquarters and when Maraudering could no longer keep the unpleasant thoughts from the two men's thoughts Tonks would show up all bubbly and joyful which perked the men right up.
Tonks stopped by headquarters more than frequently. She stopped by either to help clean up, or to grab a bite after work because she was too tired to make her own food or to catch up with Sirius since she hadn't seen him in 14 years or to help Molly in a time of need or to send an owl because her owl had the runs (the list goes on and on)… at least, those were the excuses she used for coming over so often. She always felt the need to come up with a reason as to why she continually came knocking on Number 12's door and waking up Mrs. Black. However she was completely oblivious to the fact that everyone presently staying in the Black house wished she was there 24/7 and enjoyed having her there every minute that she was.
Sure Tonks claimed to be visiting Sirius but during these visits Tonks' attention didn't seem anywhere near Sirius. It was almost as if she was not interested in Sirius at all, but rather wanted to talk with Remus. Tonks maybe unaware of the affect she had on the brightening up of both the house and its prisoners but what she was aware of was the friendship growing between her and Remus and the butterflies that flew around every time they were together. Remus and Tonks got to know each other a lot and were often found engaged in serious conversation over tea in the library. It was like they became instant friends even though they knew so little about each other. Sirius didn't seem hurt by this at all; on the contrary he was rather excited that Tonks showed this kind of interest in his best friend. Sirius himself could not indulge in a love affair but his best mate sure could and boy did he deserve to. Sirius was often found chatting with them but he preferred to watch the festivities begin and began plotting his defenses if Moony where to screw things up, which he often did when it came to woman.
"So what do you think of our dear pink haired Nymph?" Sirius asked Remus as they sat in the kitchen drinking Butterbeer.
"She is very nice." Remus replied shortly.
"Nice?! That's all you have for me is… nice?" Sirius threw up his hands in frustration, "Bloody hell, the man a bloody lunatic!"
Remus looked over his mug with an eyebrow raised, "Exactly how am I a lunatic? What are you playing at, Sirius?"
Sirius, who had recovered from his outburst, pretended to be hurt, "I can't believe you think of me that way. I don't play games. I was merrily asking what you thought of my dear cousin Nymphadora."
Remus rolled his eyes at his best friend, "I'm sure, Padfoot. Like you don't play games with people." He laughed and his thoughts traveled to when he, James, Sirius, and Peter were known as the biggest pranksters at Hogwarts. They played pranks on people all the time and Sirius was normally the master mind behind them all. 'The big git is too fast on his feet.' Remus chuckled to himself.
Sirius laughed as he too was reminded of the past, "Yeah, you're right but still did you see how she was looking at you at dinner the other day? Or how she smiles every time you walk in the room?"
Remus thought back to the first Order meeting and how Tonks had smiled at him when they first met; no girl had looked at him like that in a while. Her smile had relieved all the pain in his jaw, which she had caused so it seemed like a fair trade, and her youthful energy had reminded him of his younger self he tended to keep at bay. "She most definitely is pretty, intelligent, friendly, and yes, nice, but how can you suggest that she likes someone like me."
"What do you mean 'someone like me'?"
"For Merlin's sake, I am a werewolf, if you have forgotten." Remus cried out in irritation, knowing perfectly well Sirius knew what he was talking about.
Sirius shook his head, "No I haven't forgotten. And so what, just because you're a werewolf once a month doesn't mean you can't date and have a good time. Don't be so quick to judge people. I'm sure she is perfectly opened minded. I mean look at her! Her hair could be any color in the world and she chooses to wear it bright pink!"
"Yes, but still no one would want to date a werewolf no matter if full moon is 3 weeks or one day away," Remus sighed and returned the conversation back to Tonks, "Tonks is a young, talented witch who doesn't need to be tied with a middle aged werewolf whether she is open minded or not."
"If you're trying to suggesting that you're old, that would mean I'm old, and I for one am not old, but it is your call mate. But don't you think you deserve to loosen up and let someone care about you for once? Try letting yourself go with the flow besides pushing against the current by pushing people away. Quit refusing to grasp the concept that not all people care whether you are a werewolf or not. Not everyone is like Lizzy." With that Sirius got up and left the room.
Remus put his face in his hands, "It's not that easy, you don't understand... no one does." Remus said more to himself then Sirius.
"No one understands what?" A voice asked.
Remus looked up startled and immediately his eyes fell on the owner of the voice. There standing by the door was none other than Tonks.
"Er… nothing," Remus muttered and covered up lamely with a smile, "Hello Nymphadora, how did you get in here? I didn't hear Mrs. Black ranting about your arrival."
Tonks grimaced at the use of 4 syllable name but didn't correct him, "Wotcher, Remus! Sirius was passing though the hallway and saw me coming so he opened the door resulting in the continual slumber of dear Mrs. Black to our satisfaction."
"Oh, wow, very clever of you," Remus joked.
Tonks smile, "You'd be surprised at all the tricks up my sleeve, Mr. Lupin." She flirted, "So you better watch yourself?"
"Is that a threat Ms. Tonks?" Remus asked trying to keep a straight face.
Tonks smiled mysteriously and said barely above a whisper, "It just might be."
There were a few moments of silence as the two of them just gazed in each other's eyes. Both seemed to be lost in thought as the curiosity between the two grew tenfold. Tonks wondered what the stories behind each of Remus' scares were while Remus conjured up images of what Nymphadora's true form was.
When an unexpected image of the woman sitting next to him popped up Remus looked away and cleared his throat to break the silence, "So what brings you to headquarters?" 'Time for a subject change.' Remus declared to himself while he tried to rid his mind of her.
Tonks was slightly put out that Remus was not holding on to the bait, per say, but she did not let him know that, "Dumbledore called a meeting for the people who are to be on guard for Harry Potter. You're one of his guardians, right?"
"Yeah, but I didn't know of any..."
Remus was cut off by Molly Weasley who had just entered the kitchen, "There you are Remus, oh, and good Tonks too, Dumbledore is waiting for you in the conference room."
Remus looked at her confused; "I didn't know of..."Again Remus was interrupted.
Sirius voice could be heard from the other room, "By the way, Moony, there is a meeting in 2 minutes that you need to be at. Dumbledore sent word this morning."
Molly clucked her tongue in disapproval as Sirius walked in with a playful smile on his face. Before Molly could give Sirius her lecture about being irresponsible Tonks grabbed Remus' hand and lead him down the hall where the Black's house elves' heads hung and into the conference room. Mundungus, Moody, and Shaklebolt were already seated with Dumbledore standing in front of them.
"Ah, there they are," Dumbledore smile kindly at them, "I was beginning to think you hadn't received my message."
"Well actually, Sir, I didn't receive the message until a few moments ago." Remus said guilty he was a disappointment.
"That's quite alright." Dumbledore replied and motioned them to sit. Tonks and Remus hurriedly sat in the front row next to each other as Dumbledore continued, "Now down to business. As you all know I assigned you all as Harry Potter's guardians. I want him watched at all times but I do not want him to know about that you are there, especially you Remus, so be on your toes. I will provide you with an invisibility cloak for maximum precautions. Even though Harry is protected until he is 17 I fear Voldemort might plan to attack Harry to ensure his success. He will do everything in his power so we must ensure we fight back with all our will and strength. Tonks and Remus will be on night shifts and Kinglsey and Moody will do day shifts. Mundungus will fill in when someone needs a day or night off, like when Remus has his transformations on full moon."
The room went silent for a few moments. Tonks looked curiously at Remus who was shifting uncomfortably in his chair looking at the ground trying to avoid everyone's gaze. Dumbledore continued on with his speech, as if his previous sentence was old news to everyone present, but Tonks could not hear him. She was still observing Remus. 'Is that what his secret is?' She pondered intently, 'Can he really be a werewolf?' She smiled to herself, 'He such a nice guy he does not deserve to be thought of as a werewolf, besides full moon is only once a month. A werewolf… well that clarifies things quite a bit....'
Remus shifted again and saw that Tonks was still ogling at him, 'Great going Dumbledore.' Remus breathed deeply, 'So now everyone knows I'm a werewolf. Shaklebolt knows. Mundungus already knew. Kingsley, a well respected wizard who works for the Ministry, knows.' Remus' heart skipped a beat, 'Tonks, the most perfect woman who he could possibly be falling for, knows. That's just brilliant...'
"Tomorrow I would like for you, Kinglsey, to start watching Harry. I want you to check in with me before and after you are relieved from your duty. When one guardian comes another guardian leaves." Dumbledore looked them all over with his piercing stare letting them all know just how important their task ahead was, "I thank you all for taking on this task among others. That is all for today."
Remus practically jumped out of his chair once Dumbledore was finished. He nodded quickly to everyone avoiding direct eye contact and was about to run to the door when Tonks' Auror reflexes kicked in and she was just too fast for him. She predicted his course of action and caught him before he could even make a move.
"Why didn't you tell anyone about being a werewolf?" Tonks inquired in a serious yet soft tone.
Remus grey eyes were begging her to drop the subject as he looked everywhere but at Tonks' intent gaze. Seeing that she wouldn't let him get away without a word he took a deep breath and answered, "I told a few people." Knowing it was not the answer she was looking for Remus sat back down defeated with shoulders hunched.
"But not everyone," Tonks whispered, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Remus stared her right in the eye for the first time since their awkward silence earlier in the kitchen, "Because when I tell people of my... condition, they look at me differently and talk to me as if I am not a real person and as if I do not know anything. The only friends I had who didn't care where Sirius, James, and Peter. I was scared of what you would do I if I told you. I did not want our friendship to stop growing when we were hitting it off so well. If I had told you what would you have thought of me?" He asked, then in a lower voice question, "Now, what do you think of me?" 'Okay, Remus, you can handle yet another heartbreak. Just brace yourself, put on a smile and gracefully bow out of the room when she gives you her answer. You don't even like her that much… or do you?'
Tonks gave him a soft kind smile, "I don't think of you any differently, Remus. I know you're a very intelligent wizard, you're kind and caring and a good person. You are trusted and loved by many including Dumbledore. It doesn't change a thought I have of you, have a little faith and trust in me; I don't care if you are a werewolf once a month. Most men I've ever known turn out to be werewolves 24/7. It does not matter to me…" She smiled teasingly, "That is as long as you take your potion."
Remus' laugh was a little forced but his eyes did light up more, "Thank you, Nymphadora. That was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. To make it up for not trusting you, would you like to join me in the kitchen for some tea?"
"I would love to, but on one condition."
"And what's that?" Remus asked cautiously.
"Don't call me Nymphadora... ever again." Tonks said with her arms crossed over her chest sending darts at Remus through her eyes.
"I guess I have to agree." Remus said with a scared look on his face but they both knew he would continue using it. For one Remus was a perfect man in Tonks' eye and could do no wrong… and because she secretly liked how he said it and for another Remus loved watching the fire in her eyes when he said it.
