DISCLAIMER: Ranma 1/2 doesn't belong to this writer...the stuffed P-chan, giant spatula don't count though... :)
hey, people...I just want you to know that I write these stuff for my self-satisfaction...I just put them here to share...that's all...
LEGEND:
/thoughts/
"quotes"
Chibi Lee-kun's comments
((actions))
Night began to fall as the scene shifts to the Tendo residence. The atmosphere is the typical Japanese setting; the carp in the small fishpond leaping above the surface every now and then, the rustling of the leaves in the surrounding trees, vendors selling their wares and products.
"Teeahh!!!" a young man's voice yelled.
"You foo'! You cannot defeat your master even in a million years! Just try me!" an older tone belonging to a middle-aged man challenged.
"How unfair of you to rob me in my bath! Come back here!"
"Ranma, running away is also a part of your training! You never know when an opponent might use your disadvantage as his strength! Bwahahaha!!!"
/Why that no good.../ "But chasing you while wearing ONLY MY BOXERS?!! Wait, you old man!"
Saotome Ranma and his father, Genma, have been training for a couple of hours already. Their barbaric battle cries pierce the tranquil atmosphere of the neighborhood every now and then, with no one that can stop them from doing so. Ironically, they've been working out at virtually anywhere on the Tendo residence --- except for the training dojo; and as usual, their daily rigors in these "practice sessions" could easily be attributed to silly quarrels that range from hair-restoration formulae, leftover pickles at the table, who will restrain Happosai, and the list goes on.
"Ranma! I'm in dire need of cash! Can't you just overlook this incident for your dear old father?"
"Shut up! What father would..."
((blinks puppy eyes)) "Please?"
"Nyeeah..." ((releases Genma off Ranma's hold)) "Fine! That'll be the last one then. Just don't...make me pose such positions in front of the camera..."
"Thank...you're off guard!" bellowed Genma as he grappled Ranma and threw him to the fishpond. However, a girl no younger than Ranma came out as he/she countered Genma's throw with his/her own.
"To think I actually believed the bull that you were saying a while ago...now I have to take a bath again..."
Both Ranma and Genma are the unlucky persons who were cursed in the Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo Training Grounds in China when they fell in Nyannichuan (Cursed Spring of Drowned Girl) and Shonmaoniichuan (Cursed Spring of Drowned Panda) respectively Chibi Lee-kun: Ryoga fell in Heituennichuan, not Hei-ton-ni-chuan as was written last chapter...bad hand...slap pound Hehe...gomen...
In contrast from the Saotome family training outside, the Tendo family were trying to filter out the noise in vain. Soun was playing shogi with Sasuke, Kuno Tatewaki's ever loyal ninja servant; Kasumi, Soun's eldest daughter, was cooking the night's dinner; and Akane, the youngest in the Tendo family, was breaking hollow blocks with her bare hands in the dojo. The other sibling, Nabiki, was away having in the company of her friends.
Happosai, Soun and Genma's master and originator of the Anything-Goes Martial Arts Style, was watching his daily aerobics program in the evening?!! on TV. Another freeloader in the Tendo residence, it's a wonder why his two pupils devoted themselves to him when he creates pandemonium more often than he helps both families. Happosai, or "Happy" as cologne "affectionately" calls him, has a nasty obsession for ladies' underwear and lingerie, which he acquires illegally on a nightly basis. In addition to his mania, Happy also happens to be "Japan's Most Avaricious Man," as Genma labeled him. So greedy, in fact, those artifacts that are marked as "legendary" or "lost" are just mere commodities in Happosai's own unorthodox antique collection.
It just so happens that a certain person desperately needs one of these artifacts.
Hibiki Ryoga has been traveling around Japan for a month already after meeting with Shampoo and Cologne at Mt. Terror. His mind is entirely focused on what Granny had said back then.
Who cares?"What kind of heirloom is it?" was Ryoga's terse reply.
"An artifact that allows its user to be transported to any place at any time he wishes at that moment." Ryoga's eyes lit up when the latter part of the statement was mentioned.
"Aiyaa! Grandma, you don't mean..." a genuinely surprised Shampoo asked.
"Yes. My Magic Mirror." ...
Something that could transcend me back through time...at long last...Ranma's defeat is close at hand...plus, I don't have to rely on my sense of direction at all..."Nyahahahah!!! Granny, do you know where it can be found in that house?"
"The last thing I knew was that Happy has it. However..."
That was all Ryoga needed to know as he ran off through the heavily wooded mountain forest and leaving a curt "Thanks" to Cologne and Shampoo. /That's odd, I'm supposed to be in Tokyo already,/ Ryoga wondered for the nth time. /I followed exactly what the map Akane-san gave me and yet.../ "Oh shoot, my umbrella..." he cried as he was soaked by a sudden rain shower. P-chan, a black piglet, emerged from a pile of Ryoga's clothes, novelties, presents for Akane perhaps, and backpack. Then, he ran off in the rain.
P-chan arrived at the Tendo residence as soon as he left amazing, how Ryoga's sense of direction suddenly improves as a pig... . He/It immediately jumped toward Tendo Akane's open arms as his owner also apparently missed his presence.
"P-chan! Where have you been for the past months? I missed you!" ((hug))
"Queak, squeal, queak!" I missed you too, Akane-san, as I trained hard in the mountains to defeat Ranma
"What? You want me to kiss you with a chain on your snout in front of Ranma?"
"Oink, kree, queak, oink, squeal, snort, snort!" No!
"Go? Okay P-chan!" ((kiss with chain in snout in front of Ranma))
Ranma was greatly disturbed by this act (obviously) and he was momentarily out of focus in his training.
"Wha---How could you do THAT to the pig, Akane!"
/sticks out tongue/ "Ba---ka. Ranma, are you jealous over P-chan?" Akane mocked with a smirk on her face.
"Tch! Who...who would be jealous over a totally UNCUTE tomboy like you?" /sticks out his tongue too/
Ranma managed to dodge an incoming fragment from one of the hollow blocks Akane was breaking apart a while ago.
"Hmph. Thanks for not caring! I'm going to take a bath with P-chan whether you like it or not!"
Both Ranma's and Ryoga's eyes widened at the statement; each with very different reasons for doing so. P-chan was still unconscious from the heavy loss of blood that he didn't notice the switch made between he and a deformed, wrinkled black piglet in Akane's arms.
"P-chan, let's go --- AH!!! Hentai!" Akane screamed while throwing the faux black piglet.
"That's the last time that old geezer will touch back here!" exclaimed Ranma while chasing Happosai around the house. Akane, apparently shocked at what happened, decided not to take a bath for a while. Really, she just wants Ranma to bathe with her.
/Happosai, just you wait...I'll be coming to get that Mirror from you.../
(A tuft of hair is on the ground. Motoko Aoyama apparently notices it and decides to uproot it out. She let out a stifled shriek as she saw chibi Lee-
kun)
chibi Lee-kun: Motoko-chan...((faint))
Motoko-chan: ... how...cute...((Hugs chibi Lee-kun and disposes her katana))
chibi Lee-kun: Motoko-chan, where are you taking me?
Motoko-chan: you'll see...you poor widdle thing you...
chibi Lee-kun: ... -faint-
Motoko-chan: chibi Lee-kun is mine! Mine alone! (laughs in a high voice)
