Here's more family madness as well as a window to the past.


"Mom?"

"I am very disappointed in you."

"You don't hear me arguing." Zia muttered sadly.

"Goddamn it didn't we raised you right?" Gaz snarled "When in the hell did we screw up with you?"

"Mom, you and dad did a good job raising me!"

"Well clearly that's not the case!" She sneered, angrily pointing at her daughter's belly afterwards "Otherwise, that wouldn't have happened!"

Zia hugged her stomach protectively.

"What in the blue fuck where you smoking when you thought you could lie to us?"

"I juse couldn't handle the thought of you guys being... Disappointed in me."

"Well guess what Zia?." Gaz snapped "Your plan backfired… horribly I might add… You fucked up… Big time."

The younger woman looked at her mother with hurt eyes.

"Just tell me something." Gaz growls "What it worth it?"

"Eh?"

"Was... It... Worth... It?!" She repeated dangerously "Thanks to your little white lie Zia, Your father's is who knows where, the computer told me he was out of the goddamn planet and if I know him and sadly I do he won't be back till some sense is knock in to him and that could take weeks! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!"

"OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!"

Zia was having contractions again only this time her mom didn't move to her side, once the contractions stopped she wearily looked up.

"God fucking damn it that hurt worst than the last one!"

Gaz got up from her seat and silently made her way to the door.

"Mom where are you going?"

"Out.

"Out where?" Zia pressed "Aren't you going to stay?"

"Don't worry I did tell you I wanted to see my grandkid's birth but right now I just feel like killing something."

"Not me right?" Zia said in a feeble attempt at being humorous.

Gaz's knuckles turned whiter and whiter as she touched the handle of the door, she was about to open it and leave but then remembered she was going to give her daughter something, she stomped closer to the bed and got something out of her purse, she hated that blue purse but also had a certain attachment for it as it was a gift from her dad, as it turned out the professor had actually noticed when his scary daughter was turning into a woman and bought it for when she turned fifteen.

It was one of the rare moments he remembered her existence.

How sad was that?

"Here" Gaz handed her something, eerily calm "I think right now this is the best medicine for you."

It was her old diary.

"I think you may be right." Zia smiled sadly "Thanks mom."

Gaz grunted before leaving the room.

MiniMoose floated in the moment she opened the door.

"Nyah!"

"Just keep an eye on Zia." Gaz ordered evenly "I have things to do."

"Nyah!"


"Hi MiniMoose!" Zia greeted the Vortian Doomsday device "Want to sit by me... Keep me company?"

"Nyah!"

"No thanks." Zia replied "I don't feel like watching the lady prison show."

"Nyah!"

MiniMoose turned on the TV and rested on the hybrid's bed, Zia began to run him behind the antlers, which made the tiny purple moose start squeaking in pleasure, all the while she remained silent as the world seemed to stop.

After finally thinking "enough is enough" Zia decided to re-read the diary she had written in many times during her childhood years, smirking at the terrible handwriting she once had and even more so laughing at her own pathetic attempts at making her incredibly insane experiences sound "cool."

"Oh dad you and your weird obsession with bees."

As a little girl, Zia used to dream of becoming a published author but never actually moved forward during her early tries with that little fantasy since both Zim and Gaz discouraged her from doing it professionally, believing that writing stories was a waste of time and energy, especially since no one reads books anymore.

"They were technically right."

Zia couldn't help but chuckle at this, while books had become obsolete, publishing "virtual books" became the great step for humanity.

If her parents only knew that she had become a successful writer under the fake name of Raven Roth, then they may have though twice about trying to force her into either being in the military or a video game designer.

Zia couldn't forget the somewhat psychotic e-mail she receive the morning she started going into labor, it was quite embarrassing really, because she actually thought she soiled herself.

"Thank god, no one was around to see that."

The computer at her apartment sense her distressed and immediately finished interfacing with a local cellular tower and placed three calls, the hospital, her aunt Tak and last but not least, her parents.

When her parents came to mind, the guilt came back tenfold, it was very ironic that the two beings who couldn't tell the difference between right and wrong actually managed to raise someone who was not only the opposite of them, let alone a normal individual.

Zia was without a doubt Zim and Gaz's greatest accomplishment.

So it was like a punch in the gut for them finding out that their offspring could have made one of the worst decisions of her life, (one, but definitely not the one), the hybrid wasn't sure what the hell went through her mind when she actually believed that she could get away with lying to her folks.

That is not to say she hasn't lied before, on the contrary, before the human race found out that they weren't alone in the universe, Zia had to pretend to be a full fledged human, it was rather easy seeing as she only had to wear contact lenses and hide her antenae under her hair.

Unfortunatelly she shared the family cursed of being an outcast.

Because of her green skin and her family's bad reputation amoung her peers, she was often the butt of many jokes, but she didn't care she always recalled her mom's words of wisdom everytime she got laugh at.

"People suck."

Maybe not words of wisdom persay but rather a painfully obvious truth.

Overall she was pleased to have a semi-normal childhood but her rents didn't make it easy.

The only reason why they had to hide her identity was because of the Earth's government sadistic desire to open up things that they didn't understand, Gaz knew firsthand how evil the republicans were, seeing as Prof. Membrane was a part of the party so Zia just knew that her late grandfather would just love to do an autopsy on just about anything as long as it was for "science."

He also told his kids secrets that weren't suppose to come out to the public.

Gaz was actually afraid for the first time in her life, and even though she cared for her deceased father she still could not manage to trust him, which is why she never told her old man that she married a disgraced Irken Invader.

Zim would frequently freak out at the thought of humans opening him up to get his Squeedly Spooch, but he was terrified that his daughter would ever meet that fate.

The thought of her true self ever getting discovered… well it was something that always kept the dysfunctional up many times during the nights.

Zia still remembered the first and only time she saw her mother in a vulnerable state.

It scared her more than anything else she ever saw in her life.


A tiny Smeet had been playing hide and seek with GIR, it was hard to believe that this little insane robot ended up being her godfather, then again her parents didn't have many candidates for the role and despite the frustration the S.I.R Unit gave the everyone it was beyond obvious that the insane little robot was a very loyal little fellow to the point that it became clear that he would never let anything bad happen to Zia.

He was after all as protective of her as her rents were.

"GIR… GIR where are you?" She asked adorably "Come on, I don't like looking I wanna hide!"

The smeet was in one of the lower parts of the lab, she walked and walked, hoping to find her godfather so then she could hide, the purple headed hybrid looked up at the ceiling "Compy?"

The house's A.I brain groaned "You are never going to stop calling me that are you, little one?"

"Nope!" She giggled.

"My head hurts."

"I'm sowwy" The tiny alien said sweetly "Why?"

"I live with your parents, you, GIR and MiniMoose and you don't see why my head hurts?"

"We make you explode with happiness?"

The computer groaned "What are you doing down here little one?"

"I'm looking for GIR." The smeet answered playfully "Have you seen him?"

"Are you playing Hide and seek again?"

"Uh Huh!"

"Then I can't tell you where he is but if you wanna keep looking I recommend going and asking your parental units"

"Huh?"

The Computer sighs and said in a words she could understand "Mommy and Daddy."

"YEAH!" She squealed "They can help me look!"

Zia walked towards her parents' room.

The A.I Brain thought "I do care for that kid but goddamn it she is too much like her father."

Zia kept toddling deeper into the underground base, on the way, what remained of the Roboparents were dangling creepily above her.

"Oh look honey!" RoboMom said "It's our grandchild!"

"We have a grandchild?" RoboDad asked, sparks coming out of his eyes "That boy didn't even invite us to the wedding! The nerve! I gotta learn him a lesson!"

While the Roboparents were babbling away, Zia giggles at their shenanigans until she remembered she was on a mission of search and ask

"Mommy? Daddy?"

The crossbreed was in front of her parents room, she thought of entering but she knew her dad would make a fit out of interrupting on their "quality time" even thought the tiny girl had no idea why he was so annoyed, after all every time she sees them they are either "eating their faces" or in "nappy land."

"Mo…."

Before Zia could even think of getting her rents attention she heard Gaz's voice, normally it was dark and cruel but this once it was just above a whisper and ironically enough despite not having an air of malice, the voice actually scared the tiny smeet.

"We been arguing for hours Zim and I don't think that you get it!" Gaz said "I don't like this."

"And what makes you think I want this for our AMAZING child?"

The woman glared daggers at the alien, years ago her cold stare alone would have given the ex-invader the chills, now it was simply a silent "Don't you dare piss me off" so he just gave his wife a sheepish smile.

Gaz sighs, "What are we going to do?"

"I have been asking myself ever since Zia was brought into this filthy planet and believe me when I tell you that I RELISHED the thought that she could become an Invader… But..."

The human raised an eyebrow "But?"

"But then… she would be killed not because she couldn't pass her training after all I did didn't I? Then again I AM AMAZING!"

Gaz smirked; she understood that Zim was simply trying to make the moment seem less tense "Sometimes I wonder if you passed only because you killed your instructor."

He laugh sarcastically "You are the master of comedy.

"So, care to tell me what you're getting at?" The woman asked impatiently "Because believe me Zim if I don't get anything tonight, tomorrow you will wake up under a bridge bloody and with your head inside you ass."

"What I want YOU to know" The Irken continued in a mixture of fear, rage and irritation "Is that in order for our smeet to be an invader she would have to reveal her… condition to the Empire and if that were to happen, the control brains would terminate her and I be damned if I let that happen!"

Zia didn't know what the word "terminate" meant but it sounded bad.

Zim's fury could be seen in his red eyes, almost as if they held the fires of hell and for Gaz it was a turn on, but right now it was not the time to even think about sex.

"Now you know how I feel I don't want our daughter to go to pre-skool!"

"But your people are morons!" Zim snarled exasperatedly "And believe me I don't want her near those disgusting stink beasts anymore than you do but you know as well as I do that we can't protect her from the madness that's out there!"

"We can home skool her!"

"That files under the category of horrible idea!"

"I don't know why you want her out of the house so badly" Gaz bellowed in a way that could describe her as a madwoman but Zim saw her as a way too overprotective mother.

"I want her out of the house because I want her to better than us!" Her husband hollowed "I don't want Zia to grow up the way we did!"

Those were the smartest words Zim had ever spoken and the angered young mother was impressed.

The Irken sighs dejectedly "Listen Gaz."

Not Gaz-mate, not Dib-sister, not stink beast, simply Gaz.

"Do you really want our smeet to be anything like us?"

She muttered a "No."

"Good."

"But how can we teach her than when we didn't even have anyone to teach us?"

"We really should have thought out this parenting thing a little better huh? The Irken asked. "Because we can't just do stuff as they come along."

"Not shit Sherlock."

"But I'm not worried about how we'll raise our kid, if we have fend ourselves well until now I THINK we can be decent parents, what DOES worry me is what the fuck are we going to do when gets older, I seen the crap your species get into and I don't want Zia to get into what you call the wrong crowd!"

"Believe me Zim with us as her parents I think some things will be inevitable but then again with us as her parents she will be able to defend herself"

Zim grinned evilly "I can't wait to teach her how to fire a powerful doomsday device."

Gaz rolls her eyes "We agreed, we are going to teach her to use her hands to defend herself, weapons are… messy."

The Irken huffed "Again with this?"

"Yes this again!" Gaz snarled "I don't want my daughter to be near those damn weapons!"

"She's MY daughter too and she SHOULD have some Irken heritage in her life!"

"SHE'S GREEN!" The woman countered "THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH!"

"WELL IT'S NOT!" Zim boomed "I may not want her to be an Invader but I want her to know of the stuff my planet has, I don't want her to be ignorant like the rest of these idiotic Earth monkeys I want her to be proud of what she is and telling me that she can't go near a weapon it's like telling me that our smeet won't ever be truly Irken!"

"She's human too" Gaz said in trembling rage "And I think sometimes you forget that!"

"The hell I do!" He snarled "I may be a lot of things, amazing, evil and ingenious but I am NOT forgetful of how our daughter came into this world!"

"You know what's the sad part is Zim?"

"What!" He asked viciously.

"I wish she wasn't part human."

"Eh?"

"Don't you get it?" She hissed "If she was just an Irken Zia would simply have another disguise and we could find another place to live if she was ever discovered."

"That will NEVER happen!"

"But what if it does Zim?" Gaz snapped "We can't just ignore that possibility!"

"I know that!" He snapped back "I may not be as you humans say the sharpest candle in the chandelier but even I can figure out the risks our amazing child will have on this nasty rock!"

"Risk?" Zia thought frightened "What a risk?"

"Besides in all the years I have known you I never seen you afraid of anything!" The Irken hissed disgustedly "So why start now?"

"I'm not scared Zim!" She said coolly "I'm terrified, I don't know about you but the thought of Zia becoming some sort of sick experiment for the government makes my blood turn cold and I know that people are retards I know Dib would never betray us, we made sure of that! But what I don't know is what will happen once we let her make her own decisions, god knows we haven't exactly made the best choices in life ourselves and the worst one to date was thinking we could raise our kid on Earth!"

"We'll we didn't exactly have much of a choice!" Zim raged "I'm been banished from my home world after the Tallest found out I made you my mate and any planet under Irken control is no place to raise our smeet so Earth was unfortunately the best place."

"What if we find another world?" Gaz pressed "One that your people have no idea about?"

"It will only be a temporary solution, you don't know the Tallest, even if we find another uncharted world the Armada will find it even if they somehow miss it at first maybe not today or tomorrow but they will find it, my leaders are so hell bent in taking over the damn universe that no planet is safe as long as the Empire exists and the only reason they haven't come to this primitive cesspool is because humans have nothing my people want!"

Gaz punches the wall in anger and glared murderously at her husband "Great choice of words you got there, so what you're saying is we should just stay here and wait for the best?"

"Hardly." Zim sneered "I actually been thinking about this and the best way to protect our child from the clutches of the Irken Empire is to... Dismantle it from within."

"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?" Gaz asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Little Gaz." Zim said condescendingly "The Irken Empire may have conquered countless worlds but let's not forget that while it its vast, the universe is vastly more infinite... How many other races are undiscovered? How many are seeking revenge?"

"I hope you're not doing what I think you're suggesting."

"I'm not doing anything... Yet."

"You better start explaining or so help me..."

"The history of this planet of every planet who seeks freedom always sheds blood." Zim said grimly "The Dib and I already made contact with a group called The Resisty."

"That's a stupid name."

"The stupidest." He agreed "However, they been getting by but obviously not enough to cause any destruction on the Empire, they need the right amount of doom, snacks alone won't help them to survive, they are few in numbers and are extremely idiotic."

"You are going somewhere with this right?"

"Your brother and I volunteered to assist them in the war for freedom."

"YOU WHAT?!" Gaz exploded "YOU IDIOT! How could you do such a thing without telling me?! What if you don't come back?! What am I supposed to tell Zia?!"

"It's because of Zia that I'm doing this!" Zim snarled "Our daughter deserves a future in which she doesn't need to live in fear!"

"Our daughter also deserves a father!"

"You act as if I may die!"

"You COULD die!"

"Yeah and Dib's head may become smaller." Zim sneered sarcastically "I survived explosions, deactivation, vengeful enemies and you... I will come back!"

"I'm going with you."

"Absolutely not!"

"I think you misunderstood me." Gaz growled "You will take with you."

"And whose going to look after our Smeet?!"

Gaz opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water, her arms trembling with rage... Her husband made a valid point.

"Promise me."

"Eh?"

"Promise me that no matter what you will come back to us."

"You know I will."

"I still want you to promise me!"

"Fine yes! I promise I'll come back to this horrible planet!"

"Because...?"

"Became I love you."

"And?"

"Because if I don't you're going to hurt me."

"Good boy." Gaz said tauntingly slapping his cheek.

Before anything else could be done, the adults heard a sniff.

"Eh?"

"Was that you?"

"What? NO!"

"Then… Who?"

Zim's eyes widened "Oh shit on a stick."

He walked out the master bedroom and looked down at his feet, the Irken was greeted with the sight of his weeping daughter.

"Sweet jumping jelly beans."

"Zim, what are you..." Gaz got out of the bedroom and stopped in mid question.

The little Smeet tried to run but she was grabbed by her hips by her old man, three set of eyes met with many different emotions, worry, fear but most of all anger.

Gaz was pissed, Zia was not suppose to be here and she was about to punch the closest thing that could serve as her punching bag when the little crossbreed asked timidly.

"Can I sleep with you two?"

This came as a surprise to the adults, expecting to get anything but this out of their child.

"W-What?" Zim spoke "What happened?"

"Had a nightmare."

"WHERE IS GIR?" Zim exploded "HE WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU!"

"Zia" Gaz said calmly trying to ease her daughter's feeling "How long have you been in the hallway?"

She looked at her mother with tears "I just got here."

They were relieved, it was a load off that she didn't hear them arguing, Zia shouldn't have to worry about doom and gloom.

The woman however was unsure "What did you hear?"

"I heard daddy saying he loves you."

"Anything else?"

"Some strange noises."

She didn't need to explain anymore her rents started blushing.

"Can I sleep with you?" .

Zim was about to reply with an indignant "Don´t be weak!" But the longing in his offspring's iris eyes made him reconsider and said with a small evil smirk "On one condition my smeet."

"What condition?" Gaz wondered, eyeing the alien with distrust.

Zim gave his daughter to his wife's unexpected arms and said between laughs "Feed her, she can´t sleep with an empty Squeedly-Spooch"

The purple headed woman gave him the evil eye "She doesn't have a Squeedly-Spooch!" His wife corrected darkly "She has a stomach and I am NOT about to feed her now, you know as well as I do that she is going to have nightmares afterwards!"

As her parents kept arguing, the young hybrid's mind was elsewhere she knew that lying to her folks was a big no no but she just didn't like it when they fought, it was unbearable in her opinion so she thought it was best to kept them occupied.

"I love you mommy... I love you daddy."

The parents looked down at their daughter and smiled at her.

"The feeling is mutural." They said I union.

Zia remembered that the next day, her dad had left the planet and he didn't return for a whole year.


Some of you may think Zim is OOC, but let's not forget that in Issue twelve, Zim actually became smarter and actually conquered Earth, in here he became smarter when he became a father.

So, Zim may have missed some of his daughter's Smeethood but at least he came back, this also explains why Zia looks up to her dad, not many parents are willing to fight an entire Empire for their child and survive.

Anyway, what are your thoughts on this chapter? Good? Bad? Decent?

Invader Johnny Signing Off.