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Chapter Two
Train Ride
"I believe the world is divided in three groups: givers, takers and the few that can balance both impulses. Giving and loving is a beautiful thing. It is the currency of compassion and kindness, it is what separates good people from the rest. And without it, the world would be a bleak place. If you are a giver, it is wise to define your boundaries because takers will take what you allow them to; all givers must learn to protect that about themselves or eventually, there is nothing left to give."
-Tiffany Madison
I'd like to say that the first thing I did when I got on the train was take a look around at the beautiful, rich walls and the smooth leather seats, but in all truth, I ran straight to the room that would be my bedroom for the next 24 hours and I sat in there sulking in my bitterness.
I tried to plan, to think about anything I could do to piss off the capitol and make my death their fault. I had to try.
What felt like minutes later was infact hours as I heard a knock on my door, it didn't sound familiar and I guessed that I might have to answer it.
"Leanne?" The voice came, it sounded familiar now as the quiet words washed over me.
"Peeta?" I called as I sat up on my bed, running a hand through my destroyed hair.
"It's me, can I come in?" He asked me. I looked at myself in the very clean and polished mirror.
"Um, yes." I answered.
Peeta walked in, he was dressed in a suit and I had to say he looked rather cute. There's that thought again! STOP IT! I commanded myself as I looked away from Peeta, my cheeks flushing slightly red.
"Dinner's ready, Effie sent me to come get you. Her exact words were, 'Tell that… child… to hurry up and get her backside into gear or the odds won't be in her favour!'" Peeta chuckled a little as he impersonated Effie's thick capitol accent. I couldn't help but smile, Peeta was infectious. "You're smiling."
"Oh." I frowned looking down at the ground, I didn't mean to smile at him, "Don't worry. It won't happen again."
"No, I didn't mean-"
"I don't smile. That's what you meant, and you're right. Smiling is not what I do." I folded my arms stubbornly and made sure that he couldn't see through what I was really feeling. For the first time in almost a year I had genuinely smiled, it wasn't smug, malicious or even forced, it was genuine.
"Maybe you should get dressed into something more appropriate? Effie said there should be an outfit in your wardrobe for you to put on." Peeta spoke very business like.
"And why the hell would i put on some outfit that the idiot capitol chose for me?" I hissed out loud, making my despise for the capitol obvious.
"You know, if you didn't want to cooperate with the gamemakers, why did you volunteer?" He asked me skeptically, his blue eyes locked with mine.
"Because my sister died last year in the games and i wasn't there to save her. Think of this as my redemption, I die the same way she died." I spat coldly, my voice trembling as i spoke of my sister.
"What? You actually think getting yourself killed in the hunger games will please yoru sister? Are you out of your mind? If anything it's disrespectful to her memory." Peeta blurted, and then I realised something. He was right. What i was doing, going to the hunger games to die was disrespectful. She had died that way and didn't want to, so me going to die the same way was just stupid.
I suddenly felt tears prick the corners of my eyes. "You bastard." I spat, my voice thick with emotion. i grabbed my door handle to slam the door in Peeta's face and go back to my bed and cry.
"Wait," He said catching the door in his hand. "I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to say that. Who am I to judge?" He looked down and then his eyes met mine again, those brilliant blue eyes.
"No, you're right. It is disrespectful, and now I'm going to die for one silly mistake." I whispered, trying not to let the tears spill over as my voice began to hold back a sob.
Quickly, Peeta surged forward and pulled me into his arms. It was such a simple gesture, a hug for comforting, and it was something everybody craved- human contact, but for somebody like me who refused to touch another human being, it was… strange.
I froze and tried to hold in my sobs, "It's okay to cry, Leanne." Peeta whispered to me, and that's when I couldn't hold the tears in any longer. He pulled me into my room and closed the door, with me still firmly pressed against his chest as I began to sob into it, wetting his silk shirt.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, "I shouldn't be doing this…"
"It's okay, Leanne. Don't worry. This can stay between us, I promise. Nobody will know how soft you are." He half smiled, and I knew that he was teasing me!
"Soft?" I blurted and then i felt the corners of my mouth turning up, "Say's the baker's boy who decorates fairy buns!"
"Hey, decorating buns is very manly." He argued mockingly making me smile more. "Now that's the kind of smile I remember."
His fingers reached out to touch my cheek, and with a small cerse I shivered, "Effie will be wondering where we are."
"You need to get ready." He said, "I'll wait out in the hall for you."
"Fine." I grumbled slightly and then I stomped to my closet as Peeta walked out of the room closing the door behind him. I looked in the closet and I wasn't disappointed, the dress was of medium length, to mid thigh, was low cut exposing a little cleavage and it was tight around my small body, showing off my curves. I smiled at my reflection, this dress made me look like a girl! I pulled on my usual boots, ignoring the high heels in the closet. Nobody would part me from my boots. I ran a brush through my hair and the process probably took all of five minutes.
i walked out into the hall to find Peeta waiting for me. "Ready?" He asked me.
"Ready." I answered with a sigh, keeping a slight distance between us as i realised that what he had said was true, I shouldn't have chosen to die in the hunger games, it was disrespectful to my sisters memory, but that didn't mean i wouldn't try and bring the hunger games down.
I knew now that what i needed to do was win, I needed to win and become the victor, then and only then would I be able to decided my own fate and maybe, just maybe bring down the capitol for what they did to my sister and father.
AndI knew that meant that I would have to kill the baker's son.
I kept my distance from Peeta as we walked down the hallway, our 'secret' staying a secret, acting as if it never happened, because weakness was something I couldn't show to people.
"Well, there's some amazing food here, I tasted some earlier, it's completely different to what I'm used to." Peeta made small talk as we walked down the hall.
"Peeta, you do know we can't be friends, right?" I asked him, i saw his confused expression.
"Why?" He asked me, and I suddenly realised I had no reason except the fact that I know I needed to kill him, and that I didn't want to lose a friend.
"I can't lose somebody else, a friend, a family member…. it's too painful." I dismissed him with my hand, halting him from saying anything else as i pushed open the doors of the dining room and all eyes turned on me and Peeta.
"You finally decided to grace us with your presence." Effie said in her sarcastic voice, I had the urge to stick my tongue out at her or stick up twos at her. Instead, I bit my tongue and didn't say a word as i pulled my chair out and sat down. Peeta sat beside me as they were the only two seats free.
"So, you two have been getting acquainted?" Effie asked us. I narrowed my eyes and glared at her, she really did get on my nerves. More so now that I was in the same room as her and I was having to act like I enjoyed her company.
"Look, Effie, I don't make friends so stop trying to speak to me like I'm a child or like I'm somebody you know because I'm not. All you're preparing us to do is to die and be part of your pathetic games!" I hissed at her, that seemed to surprise her. I stood up as if I was going to leave, and then I felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder stopping me from getting up.
"Don't speak that was or you'll get yourself killed right here and now." Peeta murmured urgently into my ear, his warm breath tickling my neck. I felt a shudder run through me as his hand lay on my partly bare shoulder.
"Well it's true." I growled back quietly enough for nobody else to hear.
"Just say sorry, look, one of us needs to survive the games, and I'm damned sure we would be better if we had allies rather than enemies." Peeta growled back, his warm breath making me shudder again, why did he have to have this effect on me?
"What makes you think we are allies?" I murmured back, my voice strained as I tried to keep it quiet.
"We're from the same district, that means we keep each other safe for as long as we can." He said with a sense of finality, I snorted a little and then grumbled a vague apology to Effie which she gratefully accepted.
The food arrived, I had never seen so much food in my life, the smell was amazing. All of the different aromas filled the air and actually almost made me feel sick, the amount of food laid before us made my stomach growl with hunger that I thought was long forgotten and I was about to grab some kind of fruity bread roll when Effie said, "No! Ask the Avox to get it for you."
"What's an Avox?" I asked stupidly, looking around for some kind of machine.
Effie clapped her hands and called, "Avox, please serve this young woman some food!" And at that a woman walked over to me. I didn't know her, but there was something odd about her face. Her lips looked slightly sunken and yet fatter than they should for her perfect face, she had porcelain coloured skin, surprisingly paler than my own, pretty green eyes and startling fiery red hair that gave her a capitol look about her.
"Who is she?" I asked.
"She's an Avox." Effie answered me as a man who looked similar to the woman served Effie one of the rolls i had been wanting.
"Yes but what is- WAIT! AVOX IS LATIN FOR WITHOUT A VOICE!" I gasped as I looked at the woman. I suddenly connected this to the stories we had of capitol slaves, people who had their tongues cut out for defying the capitol. "Oh no." I whispered.
"What's wrong?" Effie asked me looking annoyed at me, I guess she hadn't quite forgiven me for my small outburst earlier.
"She's had her tongue cut out and she's been forced to serve me! I'd rather get my own food! i don't want some poor girl serving me!" I hissed at Effie.
"Please, Leanne-" Effie said.
"No!" I snarled, and then I stood up angrily and threw my chair to the side with such power that it tripped up one of the gamemakers who had just arrived for lunch.
I began to storm out of the room, when a firm hand caught me around the waist and pulled me into his chest, at the feel of his hard muscles contracting to hold me, I sighed and let myself embrace this contact.
"Peeta, this is wrong. This is so wrong." I murmured heart brokenly.
"I know." He sighed and then he began to stroke my hair.
"I don't want this, I want to go home, back to my sad little life where-"
"Where you were safe. I know, but you volunteered and now pissing of the capitol people isn't going to get you any marks, so just lay low and ignore them." Peeta sighed as he took a step away from me, he held my shoulders as he bent down to look into my eyes, "Promise me you will keep safe and not antagonise them."
"I'll try." I sighed and then he let go of my shoulders.
"Good, now we're going to go back into the dining hall, you'll ask politely is you can serve your own dinner and then after that we will go and see our mentor." Peeta instructed, I nodded half heartedly and decided to just try and be as pleasant as I could, maybe that way I would survive the hunger games, become the victor and manage to break the capitol a little bit at a time.
We walked back in, and before I opened the door, I felt Peeta take my hand in his, at first I was going to flinch away from the contact, but I decided to just let it be. I let my fingers entwine with his, and that's how we walked back in, hand in hand.
"Effie, I'm greatly sorry. Please, may I serve my own dinner? I don't like people touching my food, I'm a germaphobe." I said, trying to fakely explain my outburst.
"Well why didn't you just say that? Avox, let the girl serve her own food." Effie said with a clap to the Avox. I looked glumly at the Avox and decided that I would never want to be one of them, I'd father die a thousand deaths that be controlled by the capitol like that.
"Thank you, Effie, Thank you… uhh… Thanks." I said to the red head girl refusing to simply call her 'Avox.'
I had to admit, Peeta had been right about the food, it was amazing, and soon I had eaten a whole lot of the mouth watering food, gorging on the sweet and complex tastes of the capitol. At least they knew how to do something right, even if it was make food.
"You will both go meet your mentor after this, Avox, escort these young people to the chambers of mister Haymitch." Effie commanded the young red headed girl without so much as a please or any grateful look.
"This will be interesting." I muttered to myself, which made Peeta half smile almost nervously as we followed the Avox girl down the hall and into Haymitch's room.
The first thing I noticed was the rancid stench of alcohol and vomit. I gypped, stopped to gain my concentration and I walked into the room where Haymitch was sat at a darkly lit table, drinking his booze.
"So… my mentees are here at last!" Haymitch slurred in his drunken voice. I felt a growl rise in my throat, but I managed to help it back.
"How the fuck is he supposed to help us in this state?" I hissed at Peeta.
"Haymitch, we need help." Peeta said, dumbly.
"Here's some help kid, some great advice: Stay Alive." Haymitch chuckled at his own joke and then I growled, not hiding my anger, "Somebody let a tiger in here?" He mused as he took another drink of his alcohol.
I saw Peeta lunge forward and he hit the bottle out of Haymitch's hand, it smashed against the wall with an earsplitting tinkling sound as the glass his the floor.
Haymitch raised his hand to slap Peeta, and I surged forward, taking my boot knife out of my boot and thrusting it against Haymitch's jugular. I had him in a position that if he moved, he would get his throat slit.
He began to laugh, "So I finally got myself a couple of fighters this year then?" He asked.
"Sober up Haymitch and help us through these damned games or I swear this will be going into your throat." I spat the words at him, which made him laugh more.
"I'll make you a deal. You do whatever I say, and I'll sober up enough to mentor you through the games." He held his hand out for me to shake as I still pressed the knife against his neck.
"And what do you want me to do exactly?" I hissed.
"Pulling the knife away from my vital artery might be a good start." He chuckled again, clearly in a drunken haze.
"Do it, Leanne. He can help us." Peeta warned me, his piercing eyes looking me straight into my soul.
"Truce." I said, before walking away from Haymitch.
"Now, first advice, stop showing how much you despise everybody because unless you want to die, that's not going to earn you sponsors." Haymitch tapped his fingers on the desk. "And one question, you got any talents?" He asked us both.
"Not really. Unless you count baking cakes." Peeta stated glumly.
"Me neither." I frowned, god I was going to die in these games so quickly.
"Then you're both dead." Haymitch concluded with a clap of his hands.
"You clearly haven't seen Leanne with a bow, knife or sword. When she would hunt with her father she would always bring my father squirrels and rabbits back, apparently she never once missed a shot, straight in the back of the head piercing the animals brain and killing it instantly, and her knife throwing to bring down bigger game, she can throw one knife and it would wedge itself in the same place, now my father get's his game off another hunter since Leanne stopped hunting!" Peeta gushed, and then I realised that he had taken quite a bit too much notice in me.
"Yeah well, I've seen you lugging around fifty kilogram bags of flower. I wouldn't exactly call that nothing, and you came second in wrestling in school last year only after your big brother!" I exclaimed, realising that I had just sounded like some stalker, I was sure I never paid attention to the baker's son. Now I wasn't so sure.
"Sure, that'll mean I can win the games if there's bags of flour to throw about." Peeta folded his arms in what I now realised was his, 'I'm ready for an argument' stance.
"Well-"
"Actually Leanne may have a point. Sometimes it comes down to brute strength and hand to hand combat, those skills could save your life, now tell me more about yourselves…." Haymitch trailed off and I spent the rest of the session telling him a slightly edited version of my life story.
