Chapter Two
Drizzt sat in his corner of the training hall. His posture was rather awkward because his whole body hurt from a long day's training. His eyes were fixed on the door of Zaknafein's rooms. It had been closed since the Weapon Master had gone there after the training, und only opened when a servant had brought him his meal and taken the dishes away later. Drizzt had got his meal, too, but he hadn't touched any of it. He knew that he should eat to gather his strength, but he was feeling sick and strangely detached from his body.
Drizzt wondered what Zaknafein would do tonight, whether he would leave him alone or require his company. And even more importantly, Drizzt wondered what he wanted to happen. What the Weapon Master had done to him in the previous night had felt wonderful, and somehow Drizzt longed to be close to him again. He had felt safe in Zaknafein's arms - but he was afraid of what had happened afterwards. He did not know if he should hope for another night of tenderness and pleasure, or if he should hope that Zaknafein stayed away from him and therefore wouldn't hurt him again.
When the door suddenly opened, Drizzt flinched. Zaknafein was quickly coming towards him; unlike Drizzt, the Weapon Master had obviously made up his mind. Drizzt got up, glimpsing insecurely at his tutor. What he saw made him back up immediately: there was no gentleness, not even amusement in Zaknafein's eyes, only violence and need, like a distorted echo of the tenderness he had shown the night before.
"Zaknafein, please ... please tell me at least how I have angered you before you punish me for it," Drizzt pleaded. He was too shocked and frightened to fight back when Zaknafein grabbed his arm and pushed him down on his bedroll. Before Drizzt could get up again, the Weapon Master was over him, straddling him and holding his wrists.
"You're too innocent for this hell, Drizzt, that will only get you in trouble," Zaknafein hissed, his tone somewhere between pained and sarcastic. "It drives me insane!"
He kissed him brutally, drawing blood when he bit on Drizzt's already wounded bottom lip.
"You are already insane!" Drizzt sobbed when Zaknafein broke the kiss. "How can you do this to me? You are even worse than the other drow!"
"Shut up!" Zaknafein was losing his temper. He couldn't stand these accusations; he knew he wouldn't be able to go through with this if Drizzt kept talking. Hoping to silence the young drow, he slapped him in the face. Drizzt whimpered, but he didn't fall silent.
"You are worse than the priestesses! Not even they do things like this to me!" he retorted, as stubborn as always. He didn't know that these were probably the most inappropriate words he could say to Zaknafein in this situation. The Weapon Master laughed coldly, suddenly more bitter than angry.
"Ah, but they will, Drizzt, they will," he promised, and he used his student's confused silence to kiss him again. Ignoring his struggle he started to rip off Drizzt's shirt, letting his fingers slide over the smooth skin, but there was no tenderness in his touches. In his current fit of madness, of anger, of desperation, he was deaf to Drizzt's pleading, to the pang of guilt somewhere deep inside him. If he had been more sensible at this moment, he too would have wondered how he could bring himself to do this to the young drow he had come to like, even to love so much.
A sudden knock on the door saved Drizzt. Zaknafein jumped up immediately and walked quickly towards the door to open it himself - an unusual behaviour, but he didn't want anyone to see Drizzt half-naked and trembling on the floor. A servant stood before him, staring at his boots - Zaknafein was radiating anger, and his violent temper was almost legendary.
"It had better be important," Zaknafein growled in a dangerously low voice.
"Matron Malice requires your presence, Weapon Master. Immediately," the servant stammered and retreated as quickly as possible.
Zaknafein cursed, but he knew that he had no choice. He knew better than to keep Malice waiting. Before leaving he turned a last time around and looked at Drizzt. His voice was suddenly soft, although bitter, when he said, "Go to sleep, Drizzt. I won't be back before morning."
He was gone before Drizzt could answer.
Drizzt didn't know how, but he managed to fall asleep rather quickly once Zaknafein had left. He was even more exhausted than he was nervous and scared. Zaknafein was acting more and more strangely, and Drizzt didn't even want to imagine how it would have felt if the Weapon Master had taken by force what he had got through seduction last time. Drizzt couldn't understand it - why hadn't Zaknafein just been tender? Drizzt would have given him willingly everything he wanted. There had been no need for Zaknafein to force and beat him. Drizzt's thoughts were going in circles until reverie brought them to rest.
He woke up when Zaknafein came back, probably several hours later. Drizzt tried to hide under his covers, as if this would make the Weapon Master forget his presence. Yet he knew that it was hopeless. Zaknafein would take what he wanted, if not now then later. Still, Drizzt winced when he glimpsed at his mentor. He knew he should be angry with Zaknafein, but concern filled him when he saw how tired the Weapon Master looked. His usually so graceful movements were slow and spoke of considerable pain.
What had Malice done to him? Drizzt didn't know what kind of strange relationship she and Zaknafein had, but he knew that his teacher was usually just angry when he came back from her quarters. But now, he looked almost ... broken.
"Come with me," Zaknafein said weakly, interrupting Drizzt's shocked brooding. He didn't look at the young drow and just entered his own room. His tired voice made Drizzt forget his anger and fear, as well as his confused thoughts about Zaknafein's behaviour. All he could think about was that Zaknafein needed him now, and Drizzt certainly wouldn't let him down. He stood up immediately and followed him.
Drizzt gasped once he had closed the door behind himself and turned to look at Zaknafein. The Weapon Master was taking his shirt off, exposing his back. Drizzt himself had been beaten in his childhood, but never like this. Zaknafein's back was just one bloody wound, and what bit of skin was left was hardly visible under the blood.
The young drow was frozen where he stood, incapable of understanding what he saw. While he could comprehend that Vierna had beaten him as a punishment - even if it had often seemed unjust to him - he couldn't understand how someone would go so far in a beating. Zaknafein obviously had broken some important rule, committed a horrible crime, if he had been punished so severely.
Zaknafein was taking a small bottle out of a locker, quickly drinking its content. It was a potent healing potion, for the wounds on his back and on his arms started to close immediately, and Zaknafein's features relaxed a bit. He sat down on his bed, running a hand through his hair, which was stringy from sweat. Then he finally looked at Drizzt with a sad smile on his tired face.
Accepting the unspoken invitation, Drizzt sat down beside him, but he maintained a wary distance. However, he felt almost bad for his caution when he heard Zaknafein's next words.
"I am sorry, Drizzt. I wouldn't hurt you, I couldn't," Zaknafein said with a desperate, appalled gleam in his eyes, tenderly stroking Drizzt's cheek. "I was ... I don't know what I was thinking ... I'm not like them, you know that."
A more experienced person would have recognised Zaknafein's confusion as another sign of his madness, but Drizzt saw only what he wanted to see: remorse and sadness, and he was all too ready to forgive his tutor.
"It's alright. I believe you if you say it won't happen again," Drizzt said with an open, even naive smile. "Let me help you, yes?"
Without waiting for an answer, Drizzt fetched a bowl with warm water and a soft cloth to wash the dried blood off Zaknafein's sore body. The Weapon Master looked a bit more relaxed once Drizzt had finished, and gingerly lay down on the bed. After a moment of hesitation, Drizzt nuzzled against him, resting his head on Zaknafein's chest.
"What happened?" he asked shyly after a while.
"What do you think happened? She was in a foul mood, so she beat me up even more before and after she took me," Zaknafein snorted, without even thinking about his words. Yet he regretted them immediately when he saw Drizzt's innocent eyes widen in shock.
"Forget what I said," he whispered in a softer voice, placing tender kisses on Drizzt's face. "Let's not talk about her, nor about any other female. It's just us now, you and me."
His eyes were so tender that Drizzt couldn't believe that this was the same man who had threatened to rape him only hours ago. No, he decided, that hadn't been Zaknafein. Zaknafein wouldn't do this, Zaknafein was a good, kind person. He turned violent sometimes, yes, but that had to be Malice's fault if she treated him like that. She was the wrongdoer, not Zaknafein. Drizzt managed to convince himself that the previous evening had been an exception, something that would not happen again. It was easy to believe, lying in Zaknafein's arms, enjoying his soft caresses.
"I need to sleep. You can stay with me, I won't send you away," Zaknafein promised, remembering all too well how hurt Drizzt had looked after being thrown out. "I want you to be with me."
Drizzt just beamed at him, his eyes full of admiration and love. This was his Zaknafein, the only Zaknafein he would remember years and decades later whenever he thought of his father.
