EMILY'S POV

I couldn't breathe, as I looked at the face that I thought I'd never see again every memory began flooding into my brain like a dam wall had just fell and all the water rushed out. I thought of all the good memories, the bad ones, the ones before she disappeared, the ones when she finally came back – everything. If I thought never seeing Alison again made me feel terrible, actually seeing her again was much worse. I felt my heart began to break all over again, but this time more violently. Hearing her voice – smash. Looking into her eyes – smash. Hearing her say "Em" – smash. Every second that I stood here taking her in I felt my heart being smashed into pieces again. I had felt the tears in my eyes swell up but it wasn't until I felt a flood of them race down my neck that I realized I was silently bawling in the middle of Starbucks in front of Alison. I did the only thing I could do; I raced out of the Starbucks pushing past the people in line behind us. I thought I would get far until I felt a warm hand wrap around my wrist and pull me to a stop "Em, please! Just let me explain. Please!" I heard Alison plead. Suddenly I felt the hot broken-hearted tears form into tears of pure anger as I turned to face her, "How could you do this Alison?! How can you leave without any explanation or any reason and just lose all contact with me?! I CALLED YOU FOR MONTHS! YOU NEVER ANSWERED. Everything was okay again, - A was gone! You had no reason! You made me fall back in love with you Alison, hard and fast and you just left again, you broke my heart, AGAIN. I hate you! I hate you so much and you think you can just show up 2 years later out of the fucking blue?! How did you even find me Alison?!" I screamed at her. She fell silent and looked down, contemplating her answer. "Fucking answer me Ali!" I screamed again, ignoring all the weird looks I received because I was yelling at a girl in the middle of a campus. She finally looked up and I saw tears at the edge of her eyes, "I went back….for you. I-I…" I heard Ali sigh in frustration as she tried to find her words. "You what Alison?" I said calmer, but still laced with anger. "I needed to explain everything! Why I did what I did….I missed you, and I needed you to know I loved, no, love you. But when I got back home your mom told me you left to UCLA...so I didn't even think twice, I bought a ticket and flew out here. But I wasn't ready to face you yet, I couldn't. So I enrolled into UCLA, got an apartment and tried to build up the courage to face you.It's been a couple weeks, when I saw you go into Starbucks this morning…I just thought, it's now or never so I approached you. Em, I'm so sorry, I know this isn't anything close to what I owe you, but if you just give me a chance to explain…" Ali said. I sighed, knowing that even if I said no, I still would eventually come back. I gave her a small nod and she pulled her phone out, unlocking it and handing it to me. I winced when I saw that her background was a picture of us, I put my number in her phone and handed it back. "Um, if you're not busy later I can send you my address and you can come over so we can talk." Ali hesitantly suggested. "Yeah, okay" I replied. "Okay…I'll see you tonight, Em." Ali said, I could tell she wanted to give me a hug but refrained from doing so; I just gave her a small nod and turned to head back to my dorm. I looked back one last time and Alison did the same, making out eyes connect, and she gave me a small smile before I broke eye contact and walked a little faster into my building.

I stared at myself in the mirror for what seemed like 20 minutes fixing my hair and adjusting my make-up, even when I'm pissed at Alison I still feel compelled to look my best for her. I could feel Samara's eyes burning a hole into my head; I know she wanted to ask me where I was going, and why I was trying so hard to look good. She looked up from her book that she was "reading" and asked "Uh, got a date….Em?" hesitantly, trying hard not to sound over jealous. "Oh, uh, no….just meeting up with some friends to study for our test next Friday, we may stop and eat afterwards though..." I replied. I heard her let out a sigh of relief and I felt a pinch of guilt knowing I was lying to her, hell, to her a date just might be preferable considering what I was really doing. Samara was there for me when I was still pushing past my feelings for Alison, I confided in her. I knew if I told Samara Ali was back she would flare up into anger and it would start a fight, especially because what me and Samara have isn't completely over, we haven't exactly talked about a complete breakup. I was starting to feel nervous about this situation…I'm only going to Alison's because I needed closure, I needed to know why she left me. So I released all the nerves that I was feeling and headed out the door, "I'll see you later" I said to Samara. She looked up at me giving me a small smile "have fun." She said. I don't think fun is in the cards for me tonight. I thought as I continued out the door and into the dorm elevators to descend down to the 1st floor. I exited the building and headed to my car; once I was sitting in the driver's seat I turned the car on and just sat there for a minute. I took a deep breath and then pulled out my phone to GPS the address Alison sent me earlier. The address was only 10 minutes off campus, so I headed towards her house, nervous for what I'm about to encounter.

As I pulled up to Alison's apartment complex I recognized the building, this is where the rich kids from UCLA live. I remember the first party I went to at the school was here, the inside of the apartments were super nice. One of the most luxurious I've seen. I pulled into the parking lot and parked. When I got out the car I went to the entrance of the tall building and walked in. The lady at the front desk stopped me and asked who I was here for. "Um, I'm Emily Fields and I'm here for Alison DiLaurentis, room 409" I replied. She nodded and picked up her phone, making a call. "Hello, Ms. DiLaurentis. There's an Emily Fields here to see you. Okay, yes ma'am. Have a nice night." She said as she put the phone back onto the hook. "You can go right up" the lady said. I thanked her and proceeded to the elevator. As I was whisked up to the 4th floor I started twiddling my fingers to calm myself. When the elevator dinged I stepped out and followed the signs on the wall that tells you where the numbers are. Once I reached 409 I took one last breath and knocked on the door. I heard light footsteps coming towards the door and the lock turn, when Alison opened the door I looked up at her and our eyes met once again. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest rapidly. "Hi." I said meekly. She gave me a small smile and replied "Hi, Em. Come in." she moved over allowing me to enter. As I did I was impressed with the apartment. When you first walk in there's a small but elegant stair case that circled leading to what seemed like Ali's bedroom. When you look to the left there was a beautiful panoramic view of the city of Los Angeles, it was breathe taking. There was a big flat screen TV mounted on the wall and just beneath is was an elegant fireplace that looked like it was built into the wall. All of Alison's furniture was either black or a soothing white to compliment the smooth black wooden floors. She had a big white fur rug in the middle of the living room that had a comfy black couch on top of it along with a rectangular glass coffee table. Behind it was few feet away was a long white rectangular dining table and off to the right was a small classy kitchen that looked like it was equipped with the latest cooking technology there is. This place was like a studio apartment for millionaires. I know Ali's dad was probably paying for it and I can tell that it isn't cheap. As my eyes wondered around, taking in everything Alison closed the door and walked next to me. "Um, do want something to drink?" she asked, breaking the silence. "Uh, yes please." I huffed as I followed her to the kitchen. When she opened the fridge I spotted a bottle of alcohol in the door of the fridge and said "I can definitely go for some of that". I saw a light smirk cross Ali's face and it made me shudder remembering all the times I've seen that smirk. She pulled out the alcohol and reached into the cabinet to grab two small glasses. She poured us both a glass and handed me one. I took a drink of it and scrunched up my face letting out a cough at the burning sensation it caused. Alison let out a slight giggle and said "You never could take your alcohol" and I quirked up my eyebrow, taking that as a challenge. I picked up my glass and downed the entire cup. I saw Alison's eyes widen in shock as I sat the glass back down triumphantly. "Wow… I see your competiveness never died down" she mumbled. We both began, and laughing at the same time reminiscing on how competitive I was. Out of nowhere I blurted out "Why'd you leave Ali?" making the smile on her face disappear and the tension in the room rise. She propped her elbows onto the counter across from me. We were now face to face, nothing could stop this moment. The truth, I needed it and she was going to give it to me. "I still felt unsafe…"she began. "I was paranoid all the time, I could barely sleep if I wasn't in your arms….I needed out of Rosewood, Em. Everything about that place reminded me of – A … of everything I went through, everything we went through. You guys adjusted, got back to your regular lives….I couldn't. I needed to leave, for my sanity. I needed to break away from everything in my past, no matter how much it hurt." I could feel myself starting to tear up. "Why couldn't you just tell me that Ali, I could've helped you?" I said in what could pass as a whisper. She sighed, "No you couldn't have Emily. I needed to break away so I could be a better person for myself, for you… I never stopped loving you. Every time I saw you calling I wanted to book the first flight back to Rosewood, but I couldn't. If I didn't take that time for myself then I would still be that shaky, paranoid girl. Our relationship would've consisted on you consulting me and making sure I didn't have a nervous breakdown every time you left my side." She said as she leaned over to take my hands in hers "Em, I know that it broke you when I left, and I swear I would do anything to take that feeling away to make you forget how that felt. I wish I could go back and wipe away every tear to shed over me when I left…but I can't. I know it's unfair to just come back and demand you love me again, so I'm not going to. But I needed you to know what really happened, I needed you to know I never stopped loving you. You're the love of my life Emily Fields." She said while looking me dead in my eyes. I saw the sincerity in her eyes, the vulnerability. Although I still feel the pain that Ali left behind, there was no doubt that I loved this girl. I slowly leaned forward and connected our lips for the first time in years. I felt an electric bolt dash throughout my body awakening me. I inhaled as Ali deepened the kiss, I finally felt like I could breathe. The faint scent of vanilla invaded my senses as I ran my hands through Ali's hair pushing our heads together even more. I felt Ali's tongue push against my bottom lip and I opened my mouth allowing her to invade my mouth as our tongues battled for dominance. We stood there, making out for what seemed like forever until my lungs felt as if they were going to give out if I don't catch my breath and I disconnected our lips and Ali pushed forward trying to make that connection again, "Ali wait, I can't breathe" I huffed. She looked up into my eyes and mumbled, "Sorry". I smiled and caressed her cheek. "Ali…you don't have to demand my love for you…you've always had it. I can say I'm done with you as much as I want, but I know that my heart will forever beat for you." I said honestly. She smiled and connected our lips once again and I felt something that I haven't felt in a long time – lust. It's been over a year since I've had sex with anyone, but tonight, with Ali I let lose all my anger, fear, and passion that's been building inside of me since the day she last kissed me. And it felt amazing.