Sorry but i forgot the disclaimer in the last chapter. i dont own anything of Nikita except this story and the idea of this story.

There is an editing of the first chapter so i don't know if it will become two.

This is for all of you who put this story on the story alert, and the ones that put it on their favorites. If you put them in both Gold star.


Last night he had thought that he would get used to the idea that Nikita was married, that now she had children but he hadn't. He knew he never would, it all seemed stupid now he had left her for seventeen years and had hoped that she had been waiting for him.

He sat in the same chair that he had sat yesterday and looked at his watch it was currently seven thirty in the morning and Birkoff had not woken yet. He had been awake since six (a habit from Division that never broke) and his troubled thoughts never stopped. In fact they got worse, and his feelings got stronger too; feelings of anger, jealousy, and self- disgust.

His anger was more towards himself than it was towards Nikita; if he had come back before he could have been married to her himself already, with two kids. His anger towards Nikita was irrational though, he knew that she would not wait for him forever, she had always wanted a family as much as him. The only difference was that he had wanted to have a son to replace Hale, and a wife to replace Elizabeth now he knew his error more than ever; he could not replace his family he could only remember and move on.

But is anger was not as strong as his jealousy, this guy had married her; seen her in a white dress in front of a priest with her sparkling smile, and happy eyes. He had danced with her and heard her I love you words repeated in whispers next to his ears. He had lain down with her next to him for five or more years. He had kissed her in the mornings and at nights. He had held her close to him and felt loved, loved like he had not felt before. And worst of all she had had HIS kids, kids that may look exactly like her but with some of their dads traits and he knew they would be beautiful children no matter what.

Self- disgust is the worst feeling in him right now. He could still hear his words in the hotel after one of their first missions together "you will never lose me". He had promised and he had not stayed. He had half promised in between conversations that he would take her into an island in paradise, and he had not delivered. He had thought that they would have all the time in the world, that he would come back anytime and that they would continue were they left off, but all that had been a silly dream because she had moved on and she had created a family of her own.

"You already up?" he had been so into his thoughts that he had not noticed Seymour walking quietly behind him.

"Yes I have been up since six o'clock, a habit you know, they never go away" he explained standing up, and turning to look towards Seymour.

"Yeah I would know, I still have them some times. You know it's a little after 8, and you have been here for two hours" he sighed "look Nikita still has the same habits-sometimes- so she wakes up around this time if not later, so I might as well show you now."

Now… he didn't know what to think, did he want it now? He did want to see them together? A part of him said no, he did not want to, but a bigger part the part that said that it might not be true said yes, he wanted to see. Therefore he went along with Seymour into his computer room.

"Look I am going to do this fast and only for a few minutes…I hope I don't catch them in the dirty" he whispered.

As soon as he could his computer monitor had changed into the cameras view that Nikita had in her house. The colors in the room where light blue with white windows. On the left wall of the bed was a small desk with some writing utensils and on the opposite wall was a tall mirror with a tall jewelry box on the side. In the middle of the wall opposite the one the camera was, was a bed with nightstands on each side…on that bed was Nikita.

Her long hair was spread out in between the pillows, her face was peaceful (more peaceful than it had ever been before) and she had a short red fancy night gown. The night gown aliened her curves to perfection, curves almost the same as when he had last seen her. He could only guess that she never stopped her training to stay in shape.

Even though the camera was far away from her face he could still see when her eyes opened up. As soon as they did she leaned into her elbow to see her husband's face. Michael had been so occupied in Nikita that he had never looked at the man sleeping beside her. From the camera he seemed to have light brown hair, a square jaw, a straight nose, and a good physic; he seemed to do as much exercise as her. There was nothing surprising about him.

What surprised him was the smile she gave her husband; the same smile she had given him in the mornings when they had been together before he left her again. That special and loving small smile that he had though had been all his was someone else's now.

Michael looked at the ceiling to avoid looking at the screens, for it to give him a second to compose himself. But before he could say anything he heard the ruffling of her bed sheets, she was leaving her bed momentarily and that brought his eyes to the monitor again.

By the time that his eyes were on the monitor again she was already up and with a bad rove covering her body. She was leaving the room to God knows where, and he would wait just a little longer to see what she did now. A few minutes later she returned with a plate and two big cupcakes in it.

She shed her bed rove in the doorway and walked in dancing and singing in an off and soft tone. "I like cupcakes in the morning."

She was being more childish and carefree than he had ever seen her before. Nikita kept walking until she reached the nightstand on his side, she put the plate in the bedside table, and bended her knees almost to the point of kneeling. She folded her hands on top of the bed and in a soft whisper she began singing "Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Brian happy birthday to you."

By the time she was finished her husband had already woken up. Without any warning he held her face between his hands and kissed her. Nikita got up from her position and got into bed beside him, and while she covered both of them with the sheets he put his arm around her waist.

Johnathan kissed her on her neck and while she cuddled closer to him he looked at the cupcakes in the nightstand and laughed. "No quisiste gastar el pastel por los niños y entonces me trajiste los pastelillos que teníamos en el refrigerador." (You didn't want to waste the cake because of the kids therefore you brought me the cupcakes that were in the refrigerator.)

"Claro que no… los niños se enojarían mucho si vieran que le falta un solo pedazo y tú no quieres eso. ¿O sí?" (Of course not…the kids would get very mad if even a piece of that cake where missing and you wouldn't want that. Would you?)

"No no claro que no… ¿Oye ya los recogemos no? Ya los extraño, que tal si nos comemos los pastelillos en calma, nos alistamos, y luego recogemos a los niños. ¿Te gustaría eso?" (No no of course not… hey do you want to pick them up right now? I miss them, what if we eat the cupcakes relaxingly, we get ready, and after that we pick up the kids. Would you like that?)

"Sí yo también los extraño mucho, ok" (yeah I miss them a lot too,ok) she picked up a cupcake and bit it "este es mío, el otro" (this one is mine, the other one) she said to him while she picked up the other one "es el tuyo" (is yours)

"Canija escogiste el mejor" (you little devil you picked up the best one) he said it in a teasing tone while he reached for the control to turn on the TV.

After a few seconds the monitor screen went black, Seymour than God didn't say anything right away. Michael closed his eyes to get a hold on his feelings but it was not working.

"Look dude, I am going to leave you alone for a minute and umm go get the kids things ready." Birkhoff knew that he needed time alone, after a long time of waiting Michael finally got back, but things never stayed the same; they change for some towards the better, and for others towards worst. He could still hear the words he said to her a few days after Michael had left "he will come back you guys are like Bonnie and Clyde…without the dramatic ending of course." He had come back but she was not there anymore.

While Seymour went up the stairs Michael sat in one of the chairs that Seymour had there. He took a deep breath and put his head in his hands with his eyes closed.

He could still see her damn it, even when he closed his eyes. He could see her smile towards Brian, serve him cupcakes and kiss him. Things she had only done with HIM damn it.

And in that moment he let himself imagine the what ifs. What if he had married her, and it was him on that bed, him she smiled to, him she sang to, him she kissed and played with, him she served cupcakes because of his birthday and because they couldn't eat the cake because THEIR kids would get mad. GOD he was making it worst because it would be amazing, it would be the best thing in the world and he lost it. He lost his chance.

For the first time in years since Elizabeth and Hale had died, he cried. Not the hard sobs that many people would expect to hear, that was not Michael, he just let the tears fall quietly and softly down his cheeks. Just two tears ran down before he heard a small voice that made him stop doing everything and look up.

"¿Qué haces? ¿Por qué lloras? ¿Estás triste? ¿Te duele algo? Mi mami dice que si te duele algo o algo te pasa que siempre le digas a alguien, un adulto él o ella te puede ayudar. Pero el nerd, así dice mama que llamemos al tío Seymour aunque papa dice que no… ¿Qué significa eso? Nerd yo no sé que es. Bueno el tío Seymour" (What are you doing? Why are you crying? Are you sad? Does something hurt? My mommy said that if something hurts or you don't feel good to tell someone an adult can help. But nerd, mom said to call uncle Seymour nerd although dad says not to call him that…what does that mean? Nerd, I don't know what it means. Well Uncle Seymour) she said it like she just remembered to call Birkoff that "no esta aquí esi que me puedes decir a mi." (Is not here so you can tell me about it)


Hoped that this one was better than the last one. Thank you for reading.