Sorry about the late chapter, people. And wow, thanks a bunch to all you wonderful, fantastic people who reviewed!! It really cheered me on to get off my lazy butt and to hunch over my desktop to type out this new chapter :) Anyway, on to chapter 2!
Allen cursed under his breath in a manner that would've made Kanda proud. He was sure he had blasted through at least a hundred of those cursed blobs of metal but they never seemed to decrease in number. They mostly consisted of level one akumas but Allen could feel his stamina slowly sapping away as more and more akumas eagerly leaped in to join the battle.
He could feel his vision blurring and his arms and legs going numb. He could hardly hold up his anti-akuma weapon without his arm trembling and aching in protest. Even a simple task like leaping away to avoid getting shot, something he had always performed with relative ease in the past, took up twice as much energy as usual.
But whenever he felt so exhausted that he couldn't take it any longer, he would feel the samurai's disdainful glare at the back of his head that simply screamed, "Keep fighting, you useless little bean sprout. If you ever give up, I swear, if the akumas don't do your pansy little butt in, I will!"
And thus, the young white haired exorcist would grit his teeth and receive a new burst of energy. There was absolutely no way he was going to fall in front of Kanda Yuu, of all people. The samurai wouldn't show him any sympathy; he wouldn't coddle him and tell him it's all right as long as he tried his best; he wouldn't even bother telling him to try harder. In the samurai's black and white mind, only the strong are fit to survive. The weak are parasites that burden the strong. Therefore, the weak do not deserve to live.
So, Allen refused to cave in and expose his weak side to Kanda. Despite his annoyance at how utterly cold and sharp the samurai was with words, Allen respected him. And he worked hard in order to gain the samurai's respect in return.
The young boy smashed through yet another akuma and tried to suppress the numbing ache in his arm. Setting his teeth, he bent his sore knees and prepared to leap up to get to a particularly huge akuma hovering menacingly above him. However, just before his feet left the ground, he felt a blinding pain at the back of his neck. Vision blurring in pain; he fell back hard onto the ground with a groan. A split second before passing out, he spotted a white hooded figure standing over him. The hood fell back and the last thing Allen saw was a cold, taunting leer.
The first thing to do, as Komui had suggested, was to give the brat a wash. After crawling through countless brambles, branches, and undergrowths to escape the unknown 'bad people in white', the kid wasn't exactly the most appealing thing to look at right now. Especially without the large, innocent, smoky eyes to light up his dirt-streaked face because it was, incidentally, closed. The brat was currently snoozing in a certain grumpy samurai's increasingly wet arms.
Kanda made a mental note to wrap up the brat's face within layers and layers of cloth the next time the brat had the urge to sleep in his arms. Even if that didn't stop the flow of drool, Kanda might get lucky and the kid would suffocate and die.
It was only that one comforting thought that stopped the disgruntled samurai from flinging the drooling brat out of the nearest window.
There were, in total, two public baths in the headquarters. They were made into a traditional kind of hot spring style and were very comfortable and relaxing especially after a long, tiring mission.
For the girls, anyway.
You see, the baths were separated based on gender (Komui had been very, very specific on what fate would befall on any male who dared taint the purity of his beloved little sister.) One bath was strictly for the ladies and vice versa. However, as there were very little females permanently living in the headquarters, including Lenalee and Miranda, the female bath was empty for most parts.
As the male population in the headquarters was probably around ten times more than the female population, there was usually a general daily struggle and battle to the death to get a square inch's worth of unoccupied water space in the male bath. Of course, this was a crisis that could've been easily remedied if the gentlemen in the headquarters fully comprehended the meaning of the phrase 'queuing up' or also known as 'refraining oneself from bashing one's companion to get ahead of the line.'
But, boys will be boys, no?
Only the brave, the persistent, and the worthy manage to infiltrate through the masses of testosterone pumped, sweat, grimy and usually foul smelling males that were continuously struggling outside the bath entrance and emerge victorious into the holy waters. Then, after getting all shiny and clean again, they would, inevitably, get all grimy and sweaty and foul smelling again trying to get out of the bath through the disgruntled masses still crowding outside the bath.
And thus, a never ending cycle would repeat.
Don't even get me started on the toilets. Trust me, it's not pretty….Let's just say a fair number of males would rather dig holes out in the gardens and do their businesses out there and then rather than attempt to use the male's restroom in the headquarters.
And whenever a guest would comment on the flourishing greenery in the gardens and asks to know of its secret of success, the unfortunate guide in charge would simply titter and change the subject.
So you can imagine what a dilemma Kanda faced right about now. A bloody, brutal bathroom war was no place for a young, weak little brat like Allen. Kanda simply wasn't even in the mood to whip out Mugen to scare off the other competitors vying for the use of the bath. Leaving the brat dirty and grimy would've been less troublesome and ideal but, being the anal retentive neat freak he was, Kanda could not tolerate the slightest bit of dinginess within his line of vision.
Since he was going to look after the brat, he would have to look at him a lot, so he might as well make the brat look halfway presentable.
As he approached the men's bath, predictably, a mini riot was already lighting up. Sighing in frustration, Kanda tried glaring his best, iciest and most homicidal glare at the masses, hoping they would get the not-so-subtle message to clear out.
However, it seemed that their yearning for a bath was more powerful than their instinct for self-preservation because all of them ignored the dangerous, dagger-like glares being flung into their direction from the displeased samurai.
Kanda Yuu was not a person who liked being ignored. Feared maybe, avoided even, but never ignored.
How dare those ignorant fools ignore Kanda Yuu?
Resisting the urge to impale Mugen into their slimy, sweaty heads, Kanda fought to think up a more creative solution.
"Hey, fools," he called out suddenly. "Komui finally approved of the idea of having mixed baths. The female bath is now open for the men as well."
There was a moment of silence. Kanda smirked inwardly as he saw a ray of purest sunlight illuminate each of their grimy faces. He could've sworn he heard the Hallelujah Chorus being played in the background. The look of pure bliss and happiness on their faces spoke of men who had died and gone to heaven.
Kanda was not surprised to find the entire male bath area empty within a blink of an eye. With a smirk of victory, he stepped into the cold, porcelain floors of the bath.
"Did Komui-san really say that?" little Allen tilted his head in a way that appeared both adorably curious and shrewd. Kanda glanced down at the little boy in his soaking arms curiously. Wasn't the boy supposed to be asleep? Then again, the rioting men were making quite a bit of noise….
"Nope," Kanda replied without a shard of guilt whatsoever. "But it'll be interesting to see how he reacts to it when he finds out."
To Kanda's slight surprise, the boy giggled in response. Who would have thought sweet, innocent Allen had an inner evil streak?
"You sweat a lot," the brat commented, staring at the samurai's thoroughly soaked sleeves. "I couldn't sleep properly because of it."
Kanda gritted his teeth in annoyance. That…cursed….brat…..!!! He had the impudence to dare sleep in his arms then he goes ahead and drools all over him and then he has the nerve to complain about it?
The samurai unceremoniously dropped the kid into the warm bath. Allen landed with a splash and he stood up, spluttering slightly. The surface of the water came up high to his neck. It would seem the bath wasn't deep enough for a four year old boy to drown in, much to Kanda's not-so-slight regret.
"I'll go change my uniform because somebody had been drooling on it for the past hour," Kanda glowered at the oblivious little boy. "Stay here and take your bath."
"Wait!" Allen called out, waving his little hands in the air. "How do you take a bath?"
Kanda froze in a mid-step. Oh…Dear…Gods…No. He was not going to scrub that vile kid clean. Nope. Never. Argh, perhaps he should get a rubber ducky while he was at it?
Kanda whirled around and faced the child. He held up a bar of soap.
"This is the soap. This is the water. Figure. It. Out,"
With those incredibly helpful and four year old-friendly instructions, the samurai left the bewildered little boy alone in a bath with nothing but a bar of soap.
Anyhow, what's the worst the brat can do with a bar of soap?
"You ate the soap,"
Little Allen nodded in slight puzzlement. Was that not how soap was supposed to be used?
"You ate the soap,"
Again, the boy nodded. Kanda twitched his eyebrows as he resisted the urge to dunk the brat's white head into the water. Maybe all that water might fill up his empty head or something.
"What in the name of heavens possessed you to eat the soap?" Kanda was still incredulous. Surely there had to be a limit how brainless a person can be.
Oh wait; this was Allen Walker he was talking about….a four year old Allen Walker at that. Not a good combination in the brain department. Kanda breathed in deeply. Stay calm….stay cool…killing the brat would bring temporary satisfaction and peace but then he would have to think of how he would dispose of the body…. and in a rocky cliff where they lived, the choices were limited.
"How else would you use the soap then?" the little brat looked infuriatingly condescending. As if he, ironically, was explaining something to a rather dense four year old.
"I don't know. Rub it against your body maybe?" Kanda bit back, sarcastically. "I go out for just a minute to change into drool free clothes and I come back to find out that you, being the precious little genius you are, ate the soap."
"You told me to figure out how to use it," Allen pointed out, crossing his little arms obstinately.
"Yes, and I'm sure that the most logical course of action given the circumstances was to eat the soap," Kanda growled through gritted teeth. Honestly, it was one thing to do the most universally stupid thing on earth and grovel for forgiveness afterwards but it was another to do the most universally stupid thing on earth and start a debate on the matter altogether with the person who is so obviously right.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm tough," the brat beamed confidently at him…. right before he went green and threw up on Kanda's new, clean, and drool-free uniform.
Oh, blasted joy…
"Don't worry, Kanda," Komui said, presently. "Allen-kun has a mild case of food poisoning. Nothing to worry about."
"Worry? Who's worrying?" Kanda snapped, his eyebrows twitching homicidally.
"Now, now, you know deep down inside you're worried about the boy," Komui sang gaily. He hummed cheerfully as he set about taking the boy's temperature. Kanda resisted the urge to fling his vomit soiled uniform right into Komui's disgustingly cheerful face.
"Oh yes. I'm beside myself with worry for a brat who freaking threw up on me," Kanda scowled icily in response. He was wearing a plain white yukata as he gingerly held his soiled uniform in his arms.
"There, see? That wasn't so hard to admit, now was it?" Komui grinned happily. "Denial is a very unhealthy thing, Kanda. Besides, it is just vomit. It's nothing too bad."
"Then why don't you try it some day?" Kanda said in a poisonously pleasant voice.
"Well, we'll see if you can get the kid to eat soap again then," Komui beamed back.
"Anyway, it's not just the vomit," Kanda muttered. "The kid drooled on me."
"That's not that bad," Komui said, distractedly. He was rummaging through the first aid drawer.
"I repeat: That brat drooled. On me," Kanda growled, scowling down at his soiled uniform.
"First drool and then vomit," Komui nodded. Then, he turned to the annoyed samurai with that disgustingly cheery grin on his face again, "It's that wonderful display of variety that makes life so magical, don't you think?"
Kanda snapped and lobbed the soiled uniform right into Komui's sniggering face.
"You're mad at me, aren't you?" Allen timidly tugged at Kanda's white yukata.
"Gee, you think?" Kanda scowled in response, refusing to look down at those huge blue gray eyes that held a pathetic look of a kicked puppy.
"I don't know. I think you are, but are you?" Allen replied pensively, missing the sarcasm completely.
Kanda did not even bother replying. He quickened his pace, hoping to dislodge the brat's clingy hands but Allen stubbornly kept up with his pace and refused to let go.
Persistent brat….well, since he's so set on sticking to him like glue, let's see how much he likes it after a nice, long stroll.
And what a stroll it was. Kanda walked around the whole area of the headquarters. Considering its size, that's quite saying something. He led Allen through the quiet sleeping quarters, through the dining hall where an overly enthusiastic Jerry nearly huggled a traumatized Allen to death and across the huge gardens with all its flourishing greenery. Then, he took the kid to a trip round the wide training floors, around the practice fields, through the cozy living room, up the lounge, around the enormous, voluminous library with its dusty shelves galore and through the science department filled with stacks of coffee-stained paperwork and scientists with dark bags under their eyes. Then, he inspected the dusty attics located high up in the various towers and explored the grimy, abandoned dungeon located deep underneath the headquarters itself.
Kanda could tell the kid was exhausted but Allen only tightened his hold on the older samurai's yukata and walked on with quick strides to keep up with Kanda's longer ones with his little face scrunched up in determination. The samurai's keen ears caught the faint, telltale panting coming from the weak little brat who, he could tell, was trying all he could to suppress it.
"Why don't you just give up?" Kanda said finally, exasperated. They were now in the courtyard and the brat's already pale face was turning into an alarming shade of white.
"I don't want to," Allen panted, his little chest heaving visibly in exhaustion. He bent over slightly and leaned one hand against his wobbly knee for support as he panted for breath.
"Why not?" the samurai asked, annoyed. Although it killed him to admit it, he was getting slightly worried about the brat's increasingly white face and wobbling limbs.
"I don't know," Allen replied breathlessly, his pale face shining in perspiration. "I-I just know that I have to-I have to keep on walking. That I can't stop- not now, not ever."
Then he looked up at the speechless samurai and grinned weakly, "Isn't that weird? It's as if I made a promise to someone I can't remember or something."
Kanda snorted derisively. He noted how the brat's legs were shaking slightly in fatigue, threatening to collapse at any second. However, the boy straightened them resolutely and looked up at Kanda stubbornly.
"Where to know?"
Kanda stared at the tired little boy, stunned for one brief moment. Then, he quickly composed himself and smirked, "One more place. Are you up to it?"
Despite the wobbly legs, stark white face, short breaths and face shining in perspiration, Allen grinned back, "You bet."
"Wow!" Allen gasped, leaning over the ridge excitedly with his legs dangling dangerously above the old stone tiles.
"Oi, be careful," the samurai hurriedly pulled the eager kid down before he could kill himself with a hundred feet drop down the cliff.
"The view here is amazing!" Allen stared out with sparkling eyes, his fatigue seemingly forgotten. "It's so pretty!"
Kanda leaned against the ridge as well and stared out at the scenery laid out before them. It was almost past sunset now. The dusky light gave a mysterious, purplish glow with a hint of cheery crimson to the peaceful towns and countryside that lay beneath it. The shadows cast in the dusky light both contrasted and blended in with the evening glow in a strange but beautiful way.
The roof was Kanda's favourite place to be in the headquarters. He went there whenever he had any free time which, given the recent increase of akumas and the trouble brewing with the Noahs, was very seldom nowadays. He missed coming up here. It was probably the only place in the headquarters that he felt really at home in, as odd as that may sound. He had been living in the headquarters in this foreign country for years.
Although he accepted and lived in this country with ease for years and years now, every now and then, he would feel a pang to return home to his own beautiful native country. It happened less and less frequently over the years but it happened all the same. Whenever it happened, the samurai would quietly climb up to the roof to stare at the sky. It helped calm him down somehow.
Because wherever you are, the sky remained the same. It's the same sky that envelopes each and every continent and each and every country. The samurai felt oddly comforted by the fact that no matter how far away he was now, he was still under the same sky as his beloved country.
He told no one about this, of course, and no one knew anything about his secret visits to the roof.
Until now.
The brat was still silently staring at the scenery with a wide-eyed look of awe in his huge silver eyes. He had somehow climbed up and was now sitting on top of the ridge with his legs dangling over the other side in a way that would've made Lenalee go quite faint if she ever saw him.
"Daddy?" Allen said presently, breaking the peaceful silence.
"Don't call me that," the samurai scowled deeply in response, uncomfortably remembering what Lavi had commented on that particular nickname.
"Then what do I call you?" Allen turned his head towards the irritable samurai next to him.
"I don't know. Kanda or something," the older exorcist shrugged, uncomfortably.
"Oh, so now I'm finally good enough to know your name, am I, Kanda-san?" the brat commented, grinning impishly.
"Don't flatter yourself," Kanda smirked back. "And it's Kanda-sama to you, bean sprout."
"And it's Allen Walker to you, Kanda-sama,"
Meanwhile, somewhere in the headquarters, very happy men were comfortably sprawled in the female bath, which was empty, much to the disappointment of the dear, depraved and desperate male members of the Black Order. Never mind…their imagination more than compensated for that. The women would soon be very surprised to find their bath water stained with blood.
"Just imagine," one young pathfinder (spouting blood out of both nostrils) commented to his fellow nose-bleeding buddy, "we're lying in the very same waters Lenalee-chan has blessed with her beautiful, lush, soft, generous body. I think I can die happy now."
"And I think I may be able to assist you with that," a dark aura enveloped the entire bath area. The men had a foreboding sense of impending doom. "Care to repeat the part of my dear baby sister's 'lush, soft body'?"
And when Kanda heard the shrill screams all the way up from the roof, he smirked and said nothing.
The dining hall was packed. Kanda deeply regretted not going in later after the initial dinner rush because the damned brat was attracting all sorts of unwanted attention from the exorcists and pathfinders and scientists alike.
"He's so cute!" a pathfinder squealed, being the hundredth person to say this. Honestly, can't they come up with something more original? Illiterate fools….
The brat was passed around and cuddled like a puppy in a playground full of grabby little children. Kanda felt a slight twinge of pity for the boy who looked as if he was going to suffocate with all the unwanted attention.
"He's so adorable!"
"Look at those huge, lovable eyes!"
"Kawaii!!!"
"Allen-chan, you little heartbreaker!"
"Aww! Did you see? He smiled at me! So cute!"
"Look at the little sweetheart!"
"I've died and gone to heaven, haven't I? He's so sweet!"
"Just look at his big, googly eyes! The little angel!"
"Argh! I can just eat him alive!"
The scariest part was….the majority of his newly founded fan club who were spouting all this highly embarrassing stuff as written in the above were…..males.
Kanda began to worry slightly about the boy's rather ominous looking future.
Jerry insisted on preparing an eight-course meal for the brat and frankly, Allen wasn't complaining. He finished the entire meal before Kanda had gone through half of his own bowl of soba and cheerfully requested for more dessert. It looked as if being a four year old didn't diminish his humongous appetite in the least.
Where does all that food go? Kanda shuddered slightly as the little boy wiped out a huge bowl of pudding within seconds and gaily asked for more from the ever-enthusiastic Jerry. And how on earth does the brat stay so scrawny? Maybe there was some sort of complicated scientific hypothesis that if one consumes food fast enough, it would actually bypass the stomach completely.
And judging from the incredible speed in which food was disappearing from the brat's plate, the hypothesis would most definitely qualify as a theory. Now all the samurai needed to present this amazing discovery to the other scientists was a few dozen complicated equations that neither he nor the other scientists understood but because the string of incomprehensible gibberish looked so darn smart, the scientists would be most impressed and he might even receive a Nobel Prize for his efforts. Screw Einstein and his theory of relativity…his theory was way better.
The samurai mentally thumped his head hard. Argh, he definitely needed a holiday after this mission before he lost his mind completely.
"Kanda-san, are you all right?" Allen was looking at him curiously. "Those chopsticks have been in your mouth for the past twenty minutes."
"I'm fine," the samurai muttered, glaring down at the offending chopsticks.
"Yuu-chan!"
Kanda cringed inwardly in horror. Oh no, he can't deal with that irritating fool…not now while his sanity was threatening to shatter at any second. Maybe if he willed for the presence of the dimwitted, red-haired baboon to disappear hard enough…
"Yuu-chan"
He heard nothing. Nope. Nothing at all. Ah, silence was such a beautiful thing…
"Yuu-chan?"
Nope. Nothing. Concentrate on the silence, Kanda Yuu…
"Yuu-chan…."
Concentrate, concentrate. You hear absolutely nothing but sweet, wonderful, absolute-
"….you spilt your soba…"
-undisturbed, uninterrupted, peaceful sil- wait what!
"…all over yourself. Those burns look painful, by the way,"
For the sake of the rating, I shall not attempt to type out what our dear, irritable samurai had so articulately responded to that particular remark.
Allen Walker, innocence lost at four years old…Mana Walker would be turning in his grave.
"This is your room, bean sprout," a scowling Kanda gestured to the rather bare room. "Do you need me to spell out what you do in a bedroom in case you eat the table lamp or something?"
"Of course I won't!" an indignant little Allen Walker replied, with crossed arms. He quite failed to achieve the threatening affect he had been aiming for. His size, or lack thereof, might have had something to do with it.
"Fine, then. Good night," Kanda turned to leave the room. Then, he tilted his head slightly to glare at the little boy. "Make sure you don't throw up on me again first thing in the morning, you hear?"
But before the older exorcist could step out of the room and into temporary freedom, a tiny hand darted out and clutched at his own large, calloused hand.
Sighing in irritation, the scowling samurai turned around once more to face the boy who was fidgeting uncomfortably under his heavy glower, "What now, brat?"
"Story!" blurted out the brat, suddenly.
"What?" the samurai asked, blankly.
"You need to tell me a bedtime story," the little brat glared up stubbornly at the horrified exorcist.
"You're kidding me," Kanda said, looking positively appalled.
"Nope," the brat replied, still refusing to let go of his hand. "I need a story or I can't sleep tonight."
"Just stand right there for a couple of hours and you're bound to pass out sooner or later," Kanda said dismissively as he tugged his hand free and hurriedly moved to the door- to freedom! He was almost out, but he made a mistake of looking back at the boy.
Allen had the most pathetic, heart-wrenching look in his big, expressive silver eyes. He looked up piteously at the struggling samurai and held his heartbreaking gaze until-
"Geerghhh!!! Fine!" Kanda exploded, caving in at last. He glared daggers at the delighted brat who sat down on his bed and looked up at him in anticipation. Sighing in defeat, the samurai sat down on the chair opposite the bed and wrecked his mind for an appropriate story.
Now, what stories had he heard of before? Those pathetic little fairy tales with princesses and knights? Not likely. Maybe the ones he had heard from Ravi when they went out on missions together? The samurai blushed slightly. Nope. Absolutely not for a four-year-old child. Besides, the brat wouldn't get any of the not-so-innocent innuendos and puns in those particular stories.
Ah, salvation!
Kanda triumphantly dug into his pocket and brought out a small, worn-looking book with a plain, brown cover. He usually read it whenever he had to take long trips in trains during missions to deter the pathfinders or his assigned partner to attempt talking to him.
The near faded title read, "The Art of the Sword."
Allen leaned forward in anticipation as Kanda uncomfortably opened the book and began to read aloud in a monotonous voice, "The howling winds spoke of wild winter nights. Yet, it was only spring with winter naught but a fading dream. The dark green grass, shyly reaching up for the blue, spring skies were marred with the crimson hues of blood. The dainty meadow, fresh after its long nap during the harsh winters, was blemished with the presence of lifeless bodies littering its bountiful glory. Blood stained swords scattered around the bodies like common bits of brambles, doomed to rot along with their owners they so bravely fought along with. Tales of their noble deeds would soon decay and die out, along with the vulnerable flesh of their lifeless owners. The-"
"That's boring," Allen complained, pouting, "I'm falling asleep already!"
"That's kind of the point, isn't it," Kanda pointed out in response, frowning at the little boy who had evidently no appreciation for fine literature at all.
"No," the brat shook his head violently. "I want a better story!"
"Deal with it, then," the samurai lost the last shreds of his patience. He stood up, carefully tucked his precious book into his pocket and stood up to leave. The samurai marched out of the room in annoyance without giving the brat any time to respond.
Kanda angrily marched down the dimly lit stone passageways. How dare that brat…he had been marginally nice enough to even bother reading to him and was he thankful? Nooooo. To add to the insult, the insolent, illiterate four-year-old brat who somehow worked out the logic of eating freaking soap even had the nerve to criticize his superior choice of reading material!
The irritated samurai passed by the open doors of Komui's paperwork infested office and was surprised to find it empty. The scientist was usually there during that time of the night, seemingly doing his paperwork, but usually procrastinating and designing his latest edition of the Komurins or playing tic-tac-toe with himself. Kanda glanced into the office, and suddenly spotted something lying innocently on several stacks of paperwork on the desk.
Should he?
The samurai struggled internally with himself for a while before he cursed under his breath and finally grabbed the item. Sighing wearily, he walked back to Allen's room with loud, heavy stomps. The brat had better be pretty darned grateful for this…
Kanda roughly flung open the door without even bothering to knock. He stood there, stunned for a moment, scanning the room for any sign of its small, white haired occupant. There was none. The slightly unnerved samurai opened the closet, checked under the table and even outside the window… nothing. Kanda stood there, annoyed and a little worried. The kid hadn't went out of his room to wander about, did he? The headquarters was not a very safe place for a four-year-old brat, especially one as naïve and clueless as Allen.
The exorcist cursed the brat aloud for several seconds then he hurriedly turned to walk out of the room. The brat couldn't have gone that far …maybe he hadn't even left the passageway yet. However, before he stepped out of the room, his sharp eyes caught the slight fluttering of the bed sheets though there was no wind present in the room. Slowly, he approached the bed in small, quiet steps. The samurai had a sudden, brief impression of déjà vu before he roughly pulled the plain white bed sheets aside.
Under the bed, all huddled up and shivering with his face pressed tightly into his drawn up knees, laid a small, snowy haired figure. Kanda sighed in exasperation as he reached out with a careful finger to poke the little, huddling form. Allen immediately looked up with wide, panicky eyes. He stared blankly at the scowling samurai who was in a very uncomfortable position with his whole body bent down to peer under the bed. The pair of them stared at each other in silence for a while.
Then Kanda finally spoke, "Oi, bean sprout. In general, people usually sleep on their beds."
Suddenly, the spell was broken and the little boy hurriedly crawled out from under the bed and leaped straight into a surprised samurai's arms. Kanda, thoroughly winded, was hit with an uncomfortable wave of déjà vu again. He glared down at the small form that was huddling into him.
"Brat, I'm giving you five seconds to let go," Kanda glowered at the boy in annoyance. "One, two-"
Allen immediately jumped back. The samurai slowly stood up and dusted himself clean. Then, he regarded the unusually lost looking little boy with a frown.
"Care to explain what on earth were you doing under your bed?"
"Those bad people in white might come after me!" blurted out the small boy. He refused to meet the samurai's irritated stare. Kanda, not being the most sensitive person on earth, merely stared back blankly in response.
Oh, great. The brat had a phobia now, on top of all things. This was going to make his job so much easier…
"Those bad people in white won't be stupid enough to get you while you're in the headquarters," Kanda replied curtly. "Stop being such a sissy, bean sprout. You were already sissy enough when you were a teenager."
Allen nodded silently in response, probably not even hearing a word of that wonderfully comforting advice. Kanda was about to turn to leave before he suddenly remembered why he had taken a detour back here in the first place.
"Sit," he ordered. The kid looked startled but quickly scrambled onto the bed all the same. He looked up expectantly at the samurai. Kanda sighed in resignation and brought out the item he had 'borrowed' from Komui's office. The glossy title read, "Gossip Weekly."
Muttering under his breath, the samurai roughly opened the magazine and tore through its pages which, much to his disgust, largely consisted of fashion tips, beauty tips, gossip, and various ways to spice up your- oops, Kanda did not want to read that…and countless other insignificant articles and problem pages where women wail continuously about their every minuscule problems. It was admittedly amusing for our dear cynical samurai to see that these shallow, pathetic women actually think that anyone else who actually has a life gives a damn about their never-ending tragic tales of cheating boyfriends…and… in a few particularly weird ones…girlfriends.
Imagine, they're actually killing trees to make crap like this…
But finally, after trudging through all those pages, the samurai landed on the page he had been looking for. Taking in a deep breath, he threw out his last shards of sanity out of the window.
With another sigh, the disgruntled samurai began to read dispassionately, "Rose (real name withheld to protect client confidentiality) led a happy, carefree lifestyle. She has a good job, she is young and beautiful, she came from a loving and happy family and she has the most charming boyfriend (Harry) any girl would ask for. However, her peaceful life shattered on one fateful night when she returned from a trip one day earlier than expected only to find her man in bed with another….man."
"Ignoring Harry's pathetic excuses that he had a cold and his good friend (James) was kind enough to come over to provide some body heat, Rose kicked her boyfriend and his boyfriend out of the house they both shared. She didn't even bother handing them their clothes before she shoved them both out of the front door so chances are, her boyfriend's flimsy excuse about having a cold just might come true after all. Rose wept bitterly than night, staring out of the window as the two of them tried in vain to cover themselves with leaves from the gawping passer byes. That pathetic sight made her feel only slightly better."
Much to his slight surprise, Kanda actually found himself not suffering as much as he had expected to. The little boy sat spellbound as he listened to Rose's lamentation of how she found out that the man who stole her lover had lost his girl to another girl and was therefore, afraid of ever trusting girls again so he had turned to Rose's boyfriend for comfort…and a little bit more. For the sake of the child, Kanda had the sense not to read those particular very detailed passages aloud. How could girls write stuff like that without feeling any shame?
"What happens next?" the brat had demanded, eagerly. Kanda raised an eyebrow. Wow, the brat was really into this creepy stuff wasn't he? No wonder he's so girly…
"Rose investigates deeper and finds out that the girl in which her boyfriend's lover (James) had lost his girl to had lost her previous boyfriend to Rose herself! Thus, deeply hurt by Rose's boyfriend (Harry) she turns into James's current girlfriend for comfort and love and thus, prompts James's girlfriend to leave James. And James, shocked and hurt, turned to Harry for love. So, this whole complicated love heptagon was started by Rose's boyfriend, Harry, from the start!"
Wait…what..? The confused samurai had to read it over and over again to finally get it. Whoa, people who weren't exorcist sure have a lot of free time, don't they? For once, Kanda was actually glad he had such a busy schedule. Kicking akuma butt certainly sounded more simple and straightforward than those mind numbing love heptagons.
Allen was clearly nearly half-asleep but he still forced himself to listen. It was clear that the brat was totally in love with the story. Kanda gave himself a mental pat on the back. He read out the very last passage aloud:
"Rose, determined to get even with Harry, who had broken so many hearts already, decided on revenge. She called James out for lunch to 'talk' and planned to flirt with him unashamedly, determined for him to fall for her and break Harry's heart. However, what she did not foresee was that James was actually a pretty decent guy and her little plan was working a little too well. So much so that Rose actually started developing feelings for James as well! How will Rose and James face their new mutual attractions for each other? To find out, purchase next week's edition and read to find out."
By that time, little Allen had nearly fallen asleep sitting. He looked up groggily as soon as Kanda stopped talking. "Is the story over yet?" he asked, eyes practically drooping in sleepiness.
"For now," Kanda replied shortly. He unceremoniously stuffed the sleepy child under the covers. Allen nearly passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow but before Kanda could stand up to leave, a little hand caught hold of his sleeve.
"What now?" the samurai rolled his eyes as he turned to face the brat who was rubbing his eyes frantically, as if that would help to get rid of his sleepiness.
"What about the bad people in white?" Allen asked, his voice slurred in drowsiness, his eyes almost half shut. The samurai grumbled under his breath in exasperation but replied impatiently, "I'll stay here until you fall asleep, all right? Now shut up and go to sleep, bean sprout."
If he left the terrified kid alone in his room, heavens knows what the kid might be pushed to do. The samurai didn't really fancy waking up the next morning to yet more complications from the troublesome brat.
Anyway, it looked as if the samurai didn't have that long to wait. The brat looked as if he might just pass out in ten seconds flat.
The disgruntled samurai sat down on the only chair in the room to watch over the brat, as promised. Already he could see Allen almost dozing off into deep sleep. He decided to stay for just a few minutes longer before trudging off into his own room. After all, it wasn't all that late yet and he had nothing to do in his own room anyway besides brood and glare at the wall, which he already did a lot during the day.
Suddenly, the door burst open with a deafening bang, startling Kanda out of his stupor as he hurriedly jumped up and immediately grabbed his sword on pure reflex. Allen sat up instantly in alarm and dived to huddle behind the samurai's knees. Kanda could feel the child shaking all over in fear. Growling under his breath, he turned to face their late night intruder only to come face to face with a large grin and bright red hair. Oh, for the love of…
"Lavi, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Kanda demanded, glaring icily at the cheerful, red haired exorcist. He could feel Allen slowly calming down as soon as he registered the fact that he wasn't in any danger after all.
"Just saying hi to two of my most favourite people on earth," Ravi smiled disarmingly at the irritated samurai. Kanda snorted disbelievingly as he stared shrewdly at his so-called friend. Ravi never burst into other people's rooms in the middle of the night just to say hi, as incomprehensible and unpredictable the bright-eyed youth may be at times.
"What do you want?" Kanda asked, directly. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Ravi's annoying, cheery roundabout mannerisms just then.
"What, I can't drop by to see you two without a reason?" Ravi put on a hurt look. Kanda merely stared stonily in response. Sure enough, the red haired boy playfully stuck out his tongue in defeat and brought out a thick, voluminous looking book. He thrust it into the rather surprised samurai's hands.
"It's a book," Ravi explained, rather unnecessarily. "I found it in the library just now while I was doing some records for Bookman. I thought you might find it useful."
The book was titled in pink, cursive letters: 'An Underage Teenage Mother's Guide to Parenting.'
Kanda felt his eyes twitching in aggravation. What on earth was with the weird title?
"Do I look like an underage teenage mother?" Kanda growled, resisting the urge to fling the book into Ravi's face.
Ravi's visible eye twinkled mischievously as he looked pointedly at the way Allen was still burrowed timidly behind the irate Kanda's knees, all the while sending Ravi apprehensive looks. "I don't know about you, but Allen-kun seems to feel that way."
Kanda glared murderously at the red haired exorcist as he hurriedly yanked the little boy out from behind his knees and pulled him in front of him to face Ravi. Ravi smiled cheerfully at the nervous boy and ruffled his white hair affectionately, "How are you coping with Yuu-chan, Allen-kun?"
Allen nervously answered in a tone somewhere above a pathetic squeak, "Fine."
Ravi surveyed the boy sadly from his one visible eye. "He got really terrified by those people, didn't he?" he asked Kanda, quietly. The samurai nodded tight lipped in response, feeling the familiar odd anger rising up within him. Those bastards who did whatever they did to that innocent little boy were going to pay.
After that, Ravi bade Kanda and Allen goodnight, all smiles as usual but there was a twinge of sadness within those dancing green eyes as he looked at the small, fragile looking little boy before shutting the door.
Allen quietly climbed into his bed once more and pulled up the blankets high up to his chin. Not knowing what to say or do, the samurai sank into the chair once more and opened the book Ravi had lent to him and apprehensively began to read. The first few pages were the sappy introductions on the joys of motherhood. Kanda scanned through some of them and snorted. Obviously, the author never had a brat eating soap and throwing up on her before…
However, after he skipped through all those parts, he had to admit: the book was kind of informative. It went on to explain all about the psychological and physical growth of children in the first chapter, in which Kanda had decided the brat was stunted in both ways. The next chapter went on about the feeding patterns and the proper nutrients and vitamins to feed them…he knew he didn't have to worry about that. The brat fed himself just fine.
After that, the book explained about common insecurities and childhood fears. Then it went on about child development, the do's and don'ts, the common parental mistakes, common behavior, disciplining, interaction with other people, proper toys, their playtime, sleeping patterns, common childish habits, not-so-common disorders and a couple hundred pages more.
The stunned samurai never knew that there were so many rules and regulations in taking care of a child. In his opinion, as long as a kid is stuffed with enough food and water and is still breathing and bawling about, the little brat would survive. But the book went on about things that didn't even cross his mind as necessary…like never leave a child alone in the bathroom…cough. Kanda's head ached as he tried to absorb all the numerous complicated facts. Honestly, he never knew there were so many!
In a whirl of facts, instructions, cautions and advices, the samurai rubbed his sore temples and groaned aloud, "I'm lost."
Suddenly, he felt his hand being grabbed by a much smaller one. Curiously, he sent the sleepy looking boy a questioning look.
Allen, still holding onto his hand, sent him a wide albeit groggy smile and exclaimed brightly, "Found you!"
Kanda snorted and cuffed Allen's head, "Stupid bean sprout."
But Allen merely grinned in response before closing his eyes and falling asleep once more, having seen the tiny, reluctant and absolutely minuscule smile tugging at the samurai's mouth.
I know I said I'd reveal why Allen's a four year old in this chapter but I decided to be evil and leave all you dear readers to puzzle about it more…wakkakakaka!
Okay, I'm sorry! I planned to fit it in this chapter but I got a tad carried away and before I knew it, I glanced at the page count and went, "Oh shit, I wrote twenty five pages already?" So, I'm really, really sorry and I promise to try my best to fit it in the next chapter, okies? Oh yeah, please review and tell me what you think about this chapter :)
