Ah, another chapter done. Please enjoy, and don't forget to tell me what you think. Any advice would be great!


His eyes, those green eyes would be the death of me, I swear. They could see straight through me, watching everything that I did. Rather it be a flinch of my hands, or me petting Ventus, or even looking at my watch, his eyes were there. Eventually, I wasn't able to take it. No one else could see what was going on, of course, but I did. Whilst they chatted casually, making jokes about the whether and the game and other 'thes' that are important to society, I was dying mentally.

Suddenly, I couldn't take it anymore. I ran off, up the stairs, into my room. There is no way this is happening.


There is no way this is happening.

The next day, in my art class, Axel sat next to me again. His words rang through my mind, his voice like music to my ears.

"The name's Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"

Yeah, sexy. I've got it memorized.

"What was that?"

Blushing madly, I realized then that I must have voiced my opinion. Oh God, if yesterday hadn't been bad enough! I even brought up my fucking cat! Why did I have to go and say that?

"N-Nothing!" I stammered, biting my tongue down quickly afterward.

"Well then." He said, opening his notebook to a new page. "How are you today?"

"I'm awkward." He raised his eyes at my words, and I noticed that, again, had screwed things up. "Shit, I didn't mean that."

"Well, then what did you mean?" He asked, the words rolling off of his tongue, almost like a purr. He smirked at me, making my blush darken even more.

"I meant that I'm..." What am I? What one-to-three syllable word would I use to try to impress him? Was I good, or bad? Was I amazing, or horrible? Out of all of those stupid, small words, I chose the worst. "..excited."

"Jeez, Roxy!" He laughed. "I didn't expect to seduce you so quickly."

"Shush, you! My name isn't Roxy, and you did no such thing."

Axel rolled his eyes at my remark, making a 'tch' sound. I could tell it was a habbit immediately, by the way he had no idea the sound had even come out. His expression was lazy, displaying careless emotions and avoiding my eyes.

"I can seduce anyone by first glance."

"Yeah? Well, what makes you so special?" I asked, a smirk of my own flashing at him.

"Two things." He answered, turning to me and holding up a hand. "One." He lifted a finger. "I'm attractive. Like, super mega physically and mentally attractive." "Two." He lifted another. "I'm an artist. That basically gives me the ability to do whatever I want, and not give a fuck about any of it."

I snorted, accidentally of course, but carried on with the conversation. I was having a fucking conversation with him.

"Yeah? Well I can beat that any day." I replied.

"What are you then, Mr. Confidence?"

I lifted a finger, mocking him.

"One." I said, watching his expression turn into a scowl at my actions. "I'm adorable. And two..." I said lifting my second finger. "I'm a singer, a full time amateur rock star. I get to bum in a garage, 'til they shut me down."
"So you sing, eh?"

I paled, taking in what I had just done. Why oh why did I have to tell him of my secret obssesion, my dreams for the future."

"Yeah, so what.." I muttered, hoping that he wouldn't hear me, hoping that he would forget about this and myself in general.

No, not really, I was kind of hoping he'd take my virginity.

ASDFGHJKL;'

"You should let me hear you sometime. Are you in a band?"

I knew I couldn't ignore him then. By now, he had become an official part of my life, a part of my everything. I might as well have been in fucking love with him, with how bad my crush had progressed in a night. I would spend every second of every day thinking about him until I got it off my chest. Well, tough luck, heart. There is no way in hell that I'm ever going to confess to him.

"Yeah.. I'm in a band. It started out as my twin brother and I, but my cousin and...er...their boyfriend ended up joining in."

"That's pretty cool. Is your cousin, er... anyone I know?"

I bit my tongue, not knowing what to do. What if he was homophobic? What if he would be afraid to sit next to me, knowing that my cousin was gay? What if he knew I was gay? What if-

"His name is Ventus."

The words came out so clearly, that I nearly gave myself a heart attack. Where had this courage come from? What was the older boy doing to me, and why was it mixing up my emotions so damn horribly?

Most of all, what could I do to stop it? Before it was too late?

"Ventus? You mean Ventus Strife? I know him. Him and I go way back. We met at.. at a y-youth group meeting?"

Axel suddenly looked nervous, as if he was afraid that I was going to be afraid of him being in a youth group. I mentally rolled my eyes at the thought. The only youth group Ven took part in was a gay youth group, which means...

Axel's gay! He's gay, and thought I was homophobic! DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND HOW GREAT THIS IS?

"You're gay."

The statement had ruined any progress that I had made so far. Axel was looking down, blushing and ashamed. I wasn't quite sure what to do myself, knowing that the statement would've made a change for the worst. Even if I had tried to make him understand what I meant, I would only just fuck it up. That's what's wrong with me, I'll never be able to find the right words for the right moments. Never ever. I had to stop myself from crying, the stress from always having been this way coming down on me once more. Come on, Rox. You're stronger than this. Get the words out.

"So what?" He said, cutting me off in a harsh tone. "I am who I am. What are you going to do about it?"

"It's not that- I'm not- I..." I struggled, stuttering and keeping myself from saying anything much worse. "I'm just...surprised."

"Why does it have to be surprising, huh? Stupid homophobe. Why did I even bother trying to... trying to befriend you or anything?"

He was mumbling, emotions coming from all parts of him. I knew that it wasn't because of me, or at least only because of me. The boy had something that went way back, and I had just dug it from its shallow grave.

"It's not a bad thing..." I said, trying my best to find the right words. "I'm gay, too, Axel."

His look of wonderment was one that I will never ever forget in my life. The shining in his eyes, the gasp hidden in the corner of his lips- he was surprised that I was like him, surprised that I accepted him. Right then and there, I wanted to take him in my arms, assure him that I would never judge him. I wanted to say that he would be alright, that the world change. People like us wouldn't have to worry about this criticism anymore.

"I named my cat Ventus after my cousin. It was a mistake, though. My cat fucked a couch. Not like Ven at all, but then again, you know that."

With that, the boy burst out laughing. All tension ceased to continue, and to my astonishment, I had made things better. For now, at least. But there's always tomorrow to fuck things up.


Another day gone. Another moment leading up to this stupid point, in which I had no idea what to fucking do.