1. Best Laid Plans
"Emily, for fuck's sake stop doing that with the carrots," I cried in exasperation.
"Doing what?" came the innocent reply.
As if I really believed that anything truly innocent could come out of that mouth by now. That gorgeous, filthy, uncompromisingly kissable mouth that I could just… Fuck's sake, Naomi, focus. If someone doesn't take charge of this situation, we're all going to starve to death.
"You're supposed to be chopping them, not eating them," I huffed. 'And you're certainly not supposed to be eating them like that."
All pretence of innocence fell instantly from Emily's face, and I had to look away, I just had to. Even after all this time, she could still turn me from a normal, well-adjusted young woman to a wide-eyed, frothing-at-the-mouth lust bucket in a heartbeat. I didn't dare turn round, I knew what she would be doing. Every time I even tried to deny her, she took it as a personal challenge to see if she could break me. And she could always break me. For Emily Fitch was born with the gift of making even the most mundane of domestic tasks look like the sexiest fucking thing you had ever seen. Hoovering, hanging out the washing, even sorting fucking socks had all led to my downfall in the past, and don't even get me started on what she could do with food.
But not today. This meal was important. I don't know what had possessed me to invite them all round for New Year's Eve. I was drunk when I suggested it, that was what, but now it was done I wanted it to go well. A proper fucking grown up dinner party, not getting mashed up at some party like I normally did. It was Emily that got me to thinking about it, telling me some story of one time that she had been in Berlin and had been at a dinner party, and how cool and elegant it was. So my drunken brain had shouted 'do it for her', and I spilled the idea. Pretty much everything I do, I do for her these days and this was no exception. And when I do things for her, I want to do them well. So I had it all planned in my head, researched all the recipes, bought all the fancy ingredients. I was going to make everything from scratch, you know? Make my own choux pastry, grind my own spices, roast my own hazelnuts for the dessert, that kind of thing. Just so that everything would be beautifully home made, so that everything would be perfect. Being me, I had made lists, worked out how long everything was going to take, knew exactly what I was going to do and when I was going to do it. But I had failed to take one thing into account – the instrument of chaos that is Emily Fitch and her damned erotic carrot consumption.
"What's up, Babe? You seem a little tense," she said, deliberately putting an extra husk into her voice. Even the fact that I knew what she was doing, didn't make the blindest bit of difference to the effect it had on me. She came up behind me, and started massaging my neck, and I had to grip onto the edge of the counter for support.
"I need you to finish the carrots, Ems," I said, through gritted teeth "They're the next thing on the schedule."
Emily let out a throaty laugh, which did nothing for my will to resist.
"Only you would have a schedule for fucking carrots," she giggled. "It's just dinner, Naoms. It's not that big of a deal."
"Not that big of a deal?" I scoffed, turning to face her. "The whole family is coming, your Mum and Dad, Katie and Effy, Gina and Kieran, Anthea, James and… whoever it is this week.."
"Briony," laughed Emily. "Her name is Briony."
"I can't keep up with them all," I sighed. "He's worse than you…"
"Nevah!" declared Emily. "He is but a pale imitation of the Mighty Red."
"Don't remind me," I pouted. It wasn't always pleasant to be reminded that the girl I loved had been such a player. Emily picked up on my disquiet and brought a hand up to stroke my cheek.
"Hey, someone has to keep the Fitch flag flying now that I've retired into domestic bliss," she said softly.
Before I even realised it, I had slipped my arms around her waist. Damn, she was good. Frightening me and flattering me within a couple of sentences, so that I would go running to her out of sheer gratitude that she was still mine.
"I don't know how he manages to get all those women anyway, the disgusting little pervert," I frowned.
"Must be Fitch charm," she smiled, letting loose a flash of her devilish eyes, and pushing her hips imperceptibly closer into me. Fucking Fitch charm indeed. Well, I'm not fucking falling for it.
"Carrots Missy," I said, pushing her away. "Chopping, now."
I'm so fucking weak. I only managed to go about my own tasks for about a minute, before my attention was drawn back to her again. Emily loves knives. She has her own set of super sharp and shiny kitchen knives that she won't let me touch, and she chops stuff like a pro chef, fast and incredibly accurate. And I can't help it, it makes me horny. I know it makes me a cliché, but a woman with a weapon is hot, hot, hot. Even if she is only using it on vegetables. I found myself staring helplessly, and I knew from the hint of a smirk on her face, that she knew she had me.
"What is it about you Fitches?" I sighed in exasperation.
"What about us?" grinned Emily.
"How come all of you have this tremendous power over women?" I asked. "It's kind of weird and sinister."
"We don't have power over women," countered Emily, slicing and dicing a courgette in a way that made me melt from the inside out.
"Oh really?" I countered, raising my eyebrows at her. "Firstly there's pervy James and his harem of bitches…"
"I think they admire his forthrightness," replied Emily. "Plus they can borrow his dresses…"
"Your Dad has managed to bring out the sweet side of the most fearsome woman alive."
"I'll give you that one."
"And the there's the terrible twins. You used to have your own harem of bitches as I recall…"
"But then I met you, honey, and everything changed."
"Yeah and what about that, you managed to make Naomi 'flees in terror at the slightest hint of commitment' Campbell stop running for the first time in her life. And Katie made Effy 'emotion is a cancer which must be expunged' Stonem fall in love with her without even trying."
"Ok then, Jenna? Jenna doesn't have power over women…"
"Oh but she does," I said, shaking my head with foreboding. "She has the power to terrify us to within an inch of our lives. She still scares the shit out of me. Effy has seen devils that can lay waste to entire populations, and even she feels uncomfortable around her."
"Is that why you're stressing about the dinner?" asked Emily, setting down her knife and stalking back over towards me. "What can I do to help you relax…?"
"Seducing me is not going to help me relax, Ems?"
"Really," she said incredulously. "It usually helps you relax quite a lot."
"Well yeah," I admitted grudgingly. "But not today, yeah. I still have to make the red onion glaze, and we're already running behind on the schedule for the oven and oh Jesus Fucking H Christ…."
Her hand had found it's way underneath my skirt and was snaking its way up my thigh.
"Oh God, Ems.." I whimpered. "Please…"
"Please don't, or please don't stop?" came the husky voice whispered in my ear.
Truth was, in that moment, I didn't fucking know. My brain was still whirring with a list of preparations and plans, but my body had started screaming out for her touch.
"I don't want things to be ruined," I hissed breathlessly as her hand reached the surface of my knickers, knowing full well she would be able to feel my wetness through the fabric.
"They won't be, baby," she reassured me. "We can just delay things. Let's face it, Katie, Dad and James will devour anything that isn't cooked by Mum. Effy will just smoke and probably want to skip straight to the after dinner coffee, and Anthea will be perfectly happy as long as there's wine. Gina loves you and will love anything that you do, and if Gina's happy then Kieran's happy. Briony doesn't much matter cause James will have a new girlfriend next week."
"Which just leaves Jenna.."
"And Jenna deserves no sympathy for crimes against cuisine."
I gain a small respite from Emily's onslaught as she relaxes into genuine laughter. God, I fucking love it when she laughs.
"Do you remember Gina's face the first time she tasted Mum's cooking?" she spluttered out between giggles.
"I thought she was going to arrange a protest march against cruelty to vegetables and pulses," I snickered, wrapping my arms lazily around Emily's shoulders and letting my face fall into her sweet smelling hair. We stayed like that for several moments until the hiss of a pan of water boiling over tore me back to reality. I ripped myself reluctantly from her grasp and went to the cooker to take it off the heat.
"Right then, what's next?" I said, looking up at the cupboard door where I had taped one of my numerous lists.
"I want you."
It wasn't what she said that snapped my resolve. It was the way she said it. It wasn't dressed up in her usual seductive tones. It wasn't said with any idea of gain, and for once she wasn't wielding her fearsome Fitch power. It was just naked emotion. It was just a raw statement of truth. And despite the sexual intent behind it, it was… innocent.
The ladle fell from my hands to the floor, as I turned and slammed her back into the fridge, my mouth snatching at hers in desperate ravenous kisses.
"I can't stand it, I can't," I muttered, as I pushed my lips hungrily against hers.
"It's ok, it's ok," she whispered, kissing me back with equal fervour.
"What the fuck am I doing?" I said, as I launched myself at her neck. "We don't have time to go upstairs."
"Who said anything about going upstairs?" growled Emily.
Her moment of vulnerability had passed, and she was back in full seductress mode. She pushed me back against the table and wrenched my knickers from my body. My cunt was fucking pounding for her as she ran her skilful fingers over my clit, and I knew I wanted it every bit as much as she did. I was smiling as she entered me, and she felt so fucking good all thoughts of dinner and the night ahead were blown completely out of my skull. Against the instrument of chaos that was Emily Fitch the best laid plans of mice and Naomi Campbell were as meaningless as suncream in a supernova. And I fucking loved her for it.
