There's a reference ahead.


Russel woke up the next morning at 6:30 am and groaned. Today was the day he started is 'sentence'. He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of his bed. He groaned again and rubbed his bald head. Finally he got up, grabbed his toiletries, and made his way to the bathroom. On his way he saw Murdoc leaving out from the bathroom. He paused, looking like a deer caught in headlights. They both looked at each other like they'd seen a ghost.

There was a bit of an awkward silence in the air.

"Uh, good mornin'" Russ said finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah, mornin'" Murdoc said as he shifted on his foot.

"What the hell are you doing up so damn early?" Russel asked.

"Just had to piss. That's all…"

Shit is getting even more awkward by the second… Russel said to himself.

"When Noodle-girl gets up I'll try and talk us out of this." Russel rubbed the back of his head.

Murdoc nodded. "Yeah. Good luck." He sighed as he walked to his room.

Russel went into the bathroom and did his daily routine of shaving, washing up, and showering. When done, he walked to his room to get dressed and headed to the kitchen to cook breakfast. He was halfway done when Noodle came into the kitchen.

"Good morning Russel-san!" She yawned. She flopped down in her usual seat.

"Morning baby girl."

Russel paused for a bit before speaking again. "Uh, can we talk about today?"

"Yes." She agreed.

"Noodle… You know me and Murdoc don't get along. Why would make us do this?"

"You sided with him. Plus, it would've been okay if we were to be publically humiliated. So, you have to suffer the consequences of losing."

Russel sighed. "Honestly Noodle, I'd do anything. I'd do all of you and 'D's chores for a week. Hell, I'd even kiss 'D! Just please, don't make me do this."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" 2D said as he came from around the corner. "I would like to think kissing me is quite pleasant." He said indignantly as he sat down in his favored seat.

"Yeah, I'll just ask all of the 629 females you got pregnant that question…" Russel grumbled.

"Good morning 2D!" Noodle said cheerily as she got out of her seat and hugged 2D. "And I'm sure kissing you would be pleasant." She added before he could bring up the subject again.

Russel raised an accusing eyebrow at her, and she shook her head and shrugged, placing her finger over her lips to tell Russel not to say anything. He nodded understandably.

"Heh. I guess you're right!" 2D said with a big, goofy grin as he lifted his chin and puffed his chest out a bit.

Noodle bit the inside of her cheek to refrain from laughing as Russel shook his head at their friend.

"Breakfast is ready." He said as he sat the singer and guitarist's food down in front of them.

"You have to wake up Muds." The violet haired woman said.

"What?! Why?" Russel exclaimed.

"Because. He's your boyfriend, after all." She said matter-of-factly. 2D chuckled.

Russel sighed and walked out of the kitchen, flicking 2D in the head on his way out. His feet felt heavier and heavier with each step the closer he got to the bassist's door. Before he knew it he was standing at Murdoc's door. He raised a beefy fist to knock.

"Muds. Breakfast's ready. Come down and eat."

Murdoc flung the door open. "No." And just as quickly as it was open it was slammed close in the drummer's face.

"Look man, get yo cracker ass down here and eat this breakfast I slaved over the stove to make. Now."

Murdoc opened the door again, this time with an amused look on his features. "No, mom!" He went to close the door again, but Russel caught it with foot.

"Move your foot fat- ACK!"

Russel grabbed Murdoc by the throat and dragged him to the kitchen, with Murdoc hitting and clawing his arm and turning an interesting color of bluish green due to lack of oxygen.

When they walked in the kitchen Russel threw Murdoc in his chair and took his own seat. Both 2D and Noodle looked up shocked, eyebrows to the ceiling and mouths agape.

"The domestic violence started already?" 2D asked, earning him a blow to the head from Murdoc.

"Keep talking and I'll really show you domestic violence!" Murdoc snapped.

After breakfast Noodle sat Murdoc and Russel down to talk about their 'relationship roles'.

"Okay boys!" She said enthusiastically. "We have to figure out who's the seme and who's the uke."

"The what?" The bassist and drummer said in unison.

Noodle rolled green eyes. "In most successful yaoi relationships, there's usually a seme and a uke."

"What's yaoi?" Russel asked, pronouncing it as yah-oh-e.

"Yaoi is a boy/boy relationship."

"What the fuck is a seme and a uke." Murdoc asked, pronouncing it say-me and oh-kay.

The guitarist snorted. "A seh-meh," she corrected. "And an ooh-keh," She corrected again. "Is basically who's dominant and who's submissive."

"How do you determine that?" Russel asked.

"Usually the taller one's the seme."

Murdoc looked at Russel and smirked. "Oh really?"

"Oh HELL NAW!" Russel shouted.

Noodle refrained from laughing and continued. "That's usually how it is Russel-sama."

"I'd be damned if I be this crackah mothafucka's bitch for a week!" Russel shouted.

"Well Russ, you do cook and clean a lot…"

"No… No…" The drummer said in a daze.

"We could take some online quizzes if it makes you feel better."

"Yeah, we'll do that."

They spent 30 minutes on Noodle's laptop taking 'Seme or Uke?' quizzes. Noodle took count of who got what.

"It's a tie." Noodle concluded. "We need a tie breaker quiz." She smiled devilishly. "I know exactly where to go." She took her laptop and typed in .

"Ooh, they've got a new test~ Let's try it out." She clicked on the new test and handed her laptop to Murdoc.

After a few minutes the bassist handed the computer to Russel. "I'm done! Lards, your turn."

The drummer read the first question and his eyes went wide and he blushed. "What the hell?!"

"What?" The violet haired woman looked at the first question and snorted.

"Heh. Fatass is acting like a virgin." Murdoc chuckled.

"How does asking what it tastes like determine if you're a seme or a uke?!"

"Just say cherries and move to the next question." Noodle smirked.

Russel blushed harder. "…"

"Well, is it true or not?" Murdoc asked.

"I'm not having this conversation with you guys." The drummer shook his head.

He turned around opposite of his bandmates so they couldn't see his answer and moved to the next question.

"Here's an appropriate question." He said, having gotten the slight tint of red on his cheeks down.

"Are you gonna sit a bitch about every last question?" Murdoc asked annoyed.

Russel shot him an angry glare "NO!"

After blushing and saying a series of "What the fuck?!"s and "Why do they need to know about my sex life?"s, Russel finally got his answer.

"You're a Clueless Uke!" Noodle said.

Murdoc looked at the description and snorted. "It says you want someone to eat hamburgers and play video games with. I bet your fat ass just wants to eat burgers!" He laughed and slapped his thigh.

"Murdoc got the Sadistic Seme, so that means you guys are not compatible."

"So does this mean we can stop it with all this bullshit?" Murdoc asked excitedly.

"Nope." Noodle said. "I now pronounce you seme-" she gestured to Murdoc. "and uke!" She gestured to Russel.

Murdoc had a bit of a smirk on his face, and Russel looked like he wanted to die.