I woke up in the early hours of the morning from nightmare. A hideous capitol escort with the eyes and tongue of a lizard picked out Vero's name in the reaping. I told her that she couldn't do that, Vero is only seven. She merely cackled and hissed "The Capitol can do as they please and there is nothing you can do to stop us, little girl." Even though it was only a dream, the words still ring in my ears. This is because what she said was true. The Capitol have absolute control over our lives and there is nothing we can do about it. We learned at school every attempt to overthrow the Capitol was thwarted. If anything attempting to get in their way. After all, the Hunger Games is the Capitol's way of punishing us, of reminding us that they are not to be messed with. I read a book that I got from a second-hand bookstore. It was of course a book deemed "safe" by the Capitol. All books deemed "unsafe" in other words challenging to the Capitol had been burned. Vero is also up early and gives me a big good-morning hug. "Morning Very", he greets me. I love my little brother. He is the only member of my family who I actually like. I adore his cuteness and his curly dark hair. Yes, I might love my mother, but I don't always like her. And I certainly don't love my stepdad at all. Vero sits next to me on the rug as I read aloud to him. I love reading aloud and most of all to Vero. It made me a little sad too, because it reminded me of when Amity would beg me to read aloud to her.

We would spend many happy hours reading together in the woods. Well, I mostly read to her, because she said my voice was as enchanting as a siren's which would make me blush. Which is saying something, because I never blush. Amity was the only person in our district who could make me blush. Sometimes we would just lie on the grass and talk. Sometimes we would just lie there and stare at the clouds moving. We would sometimes make each other friendship bracelets from the flowers. I can remember last reaping. We went to our usual spot in the woods and Amity told me to close my eyes. So I did. She held my hands tenderly. Then I felt something wet and warm press against my lips. I opened my eyes in shock.

"I had to kiss you once" said Amity quietly. "For all we know one of us could be chosen for the games. And then…" her voice became very thick and she started sobbing.

"And then we might never see each other again."

I held her tight. I gently stroked her hair. I wanted to cry too, but I had to be the strong one, the tough one. I kissed her. This time it was deeper, more passionate. But it was no less sweet than the first. We kissed each other on and off the whole day. Sometimes we would feel each other under our clothes. And it was beautiful. She was beautiful, in a nerdy and sweet kind of way. But our kissing was urgent and desperate in case it was our last. Even when the reaping was over, we kissed. Poor Amity. Her dear cousin Fredrick was reaped and was killed horrifically by another tribute. I did my best to comfort her. But I knew only time would help her heal. We were caught eventually, and our parents were told but they were sworn to secrecy.

I got dressed and sent Vero to my mother. I was going to spend my day in our special place. Amity's and mine. The woods. It was raining, but I didn't care. I curled up inside a tree hollow. This place was full of memories. It was the place where I had my first kiss. It was where I had felt Amity's breasts. And most importantly it was where we were on the day that Amity was killed. I hadn't found a new lover. I couldn't. Now that the Peacekeepers knew I was gay, I was watched closely. As I was huddled in the tree hollow, I relived another memory. The day Amity had let me feel her breasts. It was a very sunny day. There was nothing particularly different about that day. We were reading our books in the shade of the tree. When suddenly she told me to close my eyes. I obediently did. I waited a few moments. Then she grabbed my hands and guided them towards something soft, yet firm. I opened my eyes. She had taken her shirt off and I was holding her breasts. I was a little taken a back at her boldness. I was normally the bold one. She smiled at me her beautiful smile, which took my breath away. She encouraged my hands to fondle her breasts. I, of course took off my shirt and let her feel my breasts. We felt each other's breasts together. It was a perfect moment, just me and her.

The reaping started all too soon. District five's escort Orsay made the usual speech. She asked for volunteers. As usual there was none. She sighed and picked a name from a bowl. It was Verity.