Shh Thayet

Thayet jian Wilima quietly shut herself in her room, wishing not for the first time she could ward her room to prevent anyone from listening. She locked the door, wincing at the sound. Too many people had keen ears – people who would wonder why she was locking the door. Maybe they would understand, but it was more likely someone would come kicking down the door, demanding to know what she thought she was doing. She smiled to herself. Every warlord's daughter needs that kind of protection. Her mind drifted to her traveling companions… and friends.

Buri. Her longtime friend and bodyguard, who had put up with Thayet's exuberances and sulks, with whom she had shed too many tears recently. The burly Coram, who Thayet couldn't really call a friend, but made her feel safe and appreciated. He was fatherly and kind in a way her father never had been. Liam. She couldn't quite figure him out, but he seemed to like it that way. She supposed the Shang Dragon had to be mysterious, like a dragon. She could tell that he frustrated both Buri and her other companion, Alanna the Lioness. The stories about the woman did not measure up to the real person. Tales about the girl who disguised herself for eight years to earn her shield drifted into Sarain, and Thayet had to admire her. She knew her mother would have approved too. Alanna quickly became a friend, something for which Thayet was grateful. Especially now.

The young woman dropped onto her bed and swallowed hard, making a last attempt to fight back the tears threatening to spill from her hazel eyes. He isn't worth crying over, she told herself. You didn't even like him that much. She swallowed again, berating herself to be strong. She had not made it this far spending her nights crying. But the tears came anyway, flowing in rivers down her cheeks. She pressed a pillow to her face to muffle to sobs. Her whole body shook with tears. Tears for her mother, tears for the country she called home, and tears for her father. The father who she had never gotten along with, the father who wanted to marry her off like some prize. The father she and her mother dreamed of escaping from. The father she blamed for her mother's suicide. But even with all of that, he was her father. And she was an orphan.

She heard her mother's voice in her head. Shh, my darling. It's all right. Shh… she could almost feel Kalasin's hands smoothing her hair, just like they had when she cried as a small child. You're a brave girl. Don't cry. Shh… Slowly but surely, she could breath without gasping, and the tears slowed to a trickle. That's my girl. Hush, now. It will all be all right. Thayet swallowed, removing the pillow from her face. She lay down, tucking her knees up toward her chest. "I miss you," she whispered into the empty room, closing her eyes.

A sharp knock came at the door, startling her out of her sleep. Looking around, Thayet found it was dark now. She must have fallen asleep. "Thayet!" Buri's voice sounded anxious. "Thayet!" She rolled off the bed and padded to the door, opening it. There stood a worried-looking Buri, a collectedly concerned Liam, and a tired Alanna. "Why was it locked?" Buri demanded. "Do you have any idea how much danger you're in?" Her dark eyes snapped.

Liam had softened his look of concern to one of amusement. "She's clearly fine now, Buri. I think Princess Thayet can take care of herself."

Buri made an aggravated noise. "Shh," Alanna snapped, rubbing her violet eyes. "When you wake me up in the middle of night, at least have the courtesy to not give me a headache."

Thayet smiled. "Really, I'm fine," she said. "Go back to bed. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"Good." Alanna stretched and waved. "See you in a few hours."

"Good night," Liam said with a nod to the Sarens, moving off in the same direction. Once they were out of earshot, Buri fixed her dark eyes on her mistress.

"Is everything all right?" the small K'mir wanted to know.

"It is now."