Disclaimer: See first Chapter 1. Yes, I'm not writing it again, so bite me. Well, not really, cuz ya know…that hurts.

A/N: Well, if you've stuck around…congratulations! You are among those immune to our stupidity. Yay! Welcome to chapter 2. It hopes you enjoy it…and if you don't, don't say anything; it has esteem issues.

Warning: I showed my friend the musical episode of Buffy, and she became obsessed with it. I'm terribly sorry for this. I'm not really sure if this is warning-worthy or not, but…oh well. So no, I don't own Buffy either, or any other songs that are in this chapter. Also, I think from now on, Ron is kind of schizo…my friend likes crazy people. We have nothing against him…Ron is one of my favorite characters. It's just more fun when someone is completely out of their gourd.

Chapter 2: Day 2

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and gay!" Draco randomly burst out into song and spun around in little circles.

"Poof! Musical numbers! AHHH!" Ron screamed, covering his ears with the palms of his hands. Harry put his face into his hands and groaned.

"Ron, pull your pants up," Hermione ordered, shaking her head.

"What!" Draco screamed, horrified.

"Excuse me?" asked Ron, raising his eyebrows.

"All you have on are boxers," Hermione clarified.

"And I'm a poof?" Draco asked.

"Shut up, Malfoy. Why are my trousers off?" Ron asked, taking a deep breath. "All right, who couldn't keep their hands off my sexy arse... "Ron began to look around stupidly for the offending party.

"Ugh!" Draco shouted in annoyance.

"Hold on, were they gray?" Hermione inquired.

"What? My sexy arse?" Ron questioned.

Hermione sighed, clearly flustered. Why couldn't everyone be as intelligent as she was...wait a second...maybe not...then she wouldn't be all that intelligent...forget that last thought. "The pants, Ron, the pants."

"Yes…did you de-pant me? You dirty girl," Ron accused, suggestively. At this Harry stifled an explosion of laughter.

A thoughtful look graced Draco's features, "Is that what Crabbe and Goyle were sniffing when I left the common room?"

"That's what I was going to tell you," Hermione sighed. Ron sighed, swallowed, and started to leave.

"They can keep them…" He sighed and then began to shuffle away retardedly in only is boxers.

"I'm sure you wouldn't get them back anyway. Once they've tagged a boy and stolen his things they don't give them back," Draco informed the room, nodding his head in agreement with himself. Yes, he's strange.

"What?" Hermione gasped.

"Didn't you wonder why the Creevey boy never talks anymore?" Draco shrugged.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Harry asked somewhat angrily. He hated being left out of the loop. He was the Boy-Who-Lived! He was supposed to know about everything that was even remotely sinister in nature. Didn't everyone know that? Stupid people.

"You don't want to know. But we can never leave Ron alone with Crabbe and Goyle again," Hermione sighed.

"Oh, I'm sure they won't hurt him…I think," Draco stated, sounding somewhat unsure of himself. While he hung out with Crabbe and Goyle for a vast majority of his short life they were both unpredictable...well...actually...they were predictable, but only in the sense that one could predict them to be stupid. At this point Ron ran in clutching his butt.

"I think they're trying to rape me!" Ron screamed.

"Okay, maybe they will." Draco announced, trying to stifle his laughter with his hand. This was quite a feat to accomplish, for human hands are not known for their exceptional insulating skills. He should have used an elephant.

A while later

"Hey, Weasley, I think you're in luck. I saw Crabbe and Goyle chasing the Thomas by a few minutes ago," Draco strolled in, pointing toward what Ron figured was the location of the two massive boys.

"Why didn't you stop them!" Hermione shrieked.

"Oh, sure. I'll just walk in front of them and say 'stop chasing that poor boy, because I say so.' They'd probably come after me!" Draco rolled his eyes at the absurdity of the idea.

"They're your henchmen!" Ron pointed out.

"Actually, they prefer the term bodyguards. Henchmen is so 19th century."

"Whatever," Ron sighed. He then placed his hand regally on his chest and sung. "Am I lost in life's endeavor? I just want to be alive –" He stopped, looked confused, and mumbled an embarrassed apology.

Harry, completely ignorant of Ron's 'Broadway moment', stood up and started toward the door. "I better go help Dean. You know the saying 'once you go black…', and I think he's the only black guy here. They'll never leave him alone. Hope I'm not too late..." He then valiantly marches out of the room.

"Weasley, what the hell was that?" Draco questioned, removing his hands from his ears.

Harry suddenly pops his head inside the door, singing, "I've got a theory, that it's a demon..." He claps his hand over his mouth in horror. "Oh god."

"Don't ever do that again," Draco demanded, slapping his hand over his eye to stop it from twitching.

Hermione chooses that moment to join in the fun. "I'm under your spell..." However, thankfully, she was interrupted by Draco's hand, which had taken residence over her mouth.

"NO!"

"Mmph!"

"Come on, you could be Buffy, goldilocks..." Ron suggested, smiling wickedly.

"I figured myself Spike."

"You've seen Buffy?" Ron asked, shock evident, even through his mass o' freckles.

"No...of course not," Draco said, looking at Ron as though he as an idiot. Ron somehow managed to look even more confused and sat down slowly next to Hermione.

"God how can this be? Playing with my..." Hermione continued her crooning.

"For the love of all things holy, gag her!" Draco shouted in annoyance.

Harry pulled a Malfoy-smirk. "Ooh…kinky. I say we both hold her down and—" Hermione sends him a death glare. "I was just kidding…Merlin…"

"Do you want me to hit you?"

"Back away slowly and quietly, and maybe she won't see us leave. She's dangerous, angry, and PMS-ing I'd presume," Draco said slowly, backing away from the girl with his hands in a protective position.

"Malfoy!" Hermione shrieked, disgusted.

Draco grabbed a nearby chair and held it in front of him. "She's trying to kill me!"

"Damn straight!"

Draco then proceeds to sing, "I died so many years ago..."

"You did?" Ron questioned idiotically. Harry pulled the raging Hermione away from Draco as the door busted open. Crabbe and Goyle stumbled through in a manner not unlike that of a drunken hippo.

"DrAcO! PrOfFeSoR SnApE StArTeD SiNgInG In PoTiOnS!" Goyle bellowed unnecessarily.

"Keep your hands, or any other appendages, away from my arse!" Ron shouted, immediately gripping the sides of his chair.

Goyle gave him a blank look. "K."

"Goyle, go the hell away! Join Snape and sing your cumbayayas," Draco waved at him dismissively.

Another vacant stare. "K."

Draco sighed in exasperation. "I really need to get some new lackeys...Are you going to leave?"

"Oh, YeAh." Goyle turned around and slammed into Crabbe. They then galumphed (I love that word) into the hallway.

At this point a completely random, completely mad girl came running into the room. The group all stared at her due to her disruption and the fact that none had seen her before. She also seemed to be talking to herself and had a look in her eyes that seemed like she wasn't completely there.

The random girl mutters to herself and glances up. "Have any of you heard of anime…or perhaps…hentai!" she shrieked.

"I love that stuff!" Draco exclaimed brightly, thinking about it and smirking as if Christmas had come early.

"I'm sure you do," Hermione said, matter-of-factly. To say she was surprised would have been a lie. Boys were such perverts and she did know everything! The completely random girl just ran out of the room. They all continued what they were doing as if she hadn't appeared at all.

"They call me sweet Buttercup, dear little Buttercup, though I could never tell why," Draco began to sing. Upon realizing what he was doing he abruptly ceased. "DAMN IT!"

"Buttercup?" Hermione arched an eyebrow.

"Shut up!" Draco whined in a bratty voice. Then he began singing again. "I'm and asshole! O-E-O-E-O!" He stopped again. "What the hell!"

Hermione collapsed in a heap of laughter on the floor.


I'm sorry for all the Buffy references for those of you who don't watch it, but we couldn't help it. Obviously our minds are not in control here.

BTW: The random girl was another one of my friends. I gave her this little book to read and she decided to put something in. And if you don't know, anime are Japanese cartoons, and hentai are the ones that are perverted.

And as for Crabbe and Goyle's writing, I decided to make them 'challenged'. So live with it. And the K's? In my little orange book, they were backwards, so it had a more retarded affect to it. Alas, Microsoft Word does not allow such trivial things as misplaced letters. (However, if anyone knows if and how it is possible, it would much appreciated if you would inform me of such revelations.)

BTW-2: Please, please, please review if you read this. Even if you thought it was stupid. I don't care. I just want to know if there are any other people in the world who understand my logic. That and it makes me happy when people from outside of my little bubble make contact with me.