Chapter 2- Christmas Day- Part 1

The two of them lay beneath the Christmas tree for quite a while, their silent conversation ringing throughout the room as they tried to push aside the butterflies in both of their stomachs.

I'm holding hands with a strange man. Why would I hold hands with a strange man? Well… he seems sincere, polite. He's still a stranger.

Meredith began to withdraw her hand slowly, feeling his fingertips envelop her hand further. His head turned and she could tell that he was looking at her.

"I'll listen to your story, but your hand needs to stay there." He said softly. "Sometimes there are parts of the story that can't be told out loud, but only through body language. I want to make sure I catch everything." He said softly.

He's smooth.

"Okay." She whispered. Her voice was small and nervous, though a quick glance to her side, she could see a mischievous smile. The same one that he had held when she walked downstairs and he had surprised her. "My story." She sighed, turning her face to the tree once again. "I have never had a Christmas even remotely as magical as the one that I witnessed today with your family." She whispered. "My Christmases were usually spent alone… maybe not alone, but with a family friend watching me… bringing me along with their family for their traditions and whatnot." She sighed. She turned her head to face him again. "My mother… is a very busy woman." She shook her head. "It's an awful excuse… to be too busy for Christmas… to be… to busy for your own child on Christmas. I mean… most people in her profession are able to find time for their families… their husbands, their children… but not my mother… her job is her life… it was and it still is, and it always will be. My parents divorced when I was five years old… so any semblance of Christmas before that… I don't even remember. But after that… it was just a day like any other day… I never met Santa… never had the joy of peeking from the top of the stairs to listen for reindeer… or that magical sound of bells… Did you ever notice how magical those jingle bells sound?" She asked, her eye sincere as she watched his eyes.

"I do." He whispered, nodding his head softly as he listened intently. She could feel his thumb softly rubbing the side of her hand, and although it was starting to rise a heat in her like she had never felt before, she refused to move. It was a comforting feeling, a soft delicate thumb softly running across her skin. She could feel her face flushing as she lie there, and was thankful for the darkness of the room.

"I guess… I missed all of those things while I was growing up… and it only became more business like as I grew up, a Christmas card with a gift card inside, or a little extra money in my savings account… very impersonal…"

"The cold wasn't just outside." He said softly, turning his head to face her.

"Exactly." She said, turning her face to him. She smiled sadly, watching his eyes search hers. "What's your story? You have a beautiful family… that obviously loves you. You seem to not be a drunk or a drug addict… Why do you have a sad soul?" Meredith whispered.

"A sad soul? Really?" He asked, his voice sincere as he watched her, seeing her nod as she smiled slightly.

"Yes." She shrugged and looked back at the tree. "Your mother said that you were having a tough year… I listened. I told you my sob story, it's time for yours." She said with a sad smile, her nose crinkling slightly as she turned her face back to him and watched him match her smile.

"My sob story…" He chuckled a little under his breath as he watched her shift to her side, her complete attention on him. He could feel his heart beating out of his chest as she continued to hold his hand with her left, and placed her right hand on his chest as she lay her head down on the carpet. "I… have a non existent social life… a non existent love life, and a non existent… well… life in general." He said sadly. "My whole life has been centered around my family… my loved ones, my friends. I went to college… and then to medical school… and now I'm in my second year of my internship… and its hell… My boss is a slave driver, my teachers at the hospital are rarely free enough to offer any help or advice, and I barely sleep anymore. I was engaged to a woman that I didn't know if I loved… until I found out that she had cheated on me with numerous men on numerous occasions… and my father died in January. I saw my family then… for the two days I was allowed off to grieve… and then I had to get back to work. Before that, I was unable to come home for two Christmases in a row… between med school and work… it was just impossible." He sighed as he turned his head to face the tree, she watched as his eyes filled with tears. "I missed my father's last Christmas." He said, his bottom lip sticking out just slightly as he stared at the lights of the Christmas tree.

"Hey… you can't cry." She said softly, watching him as he slowly turned his head to face her again.

"I can't cry?"

"No." She said, her own eyes filling with tears. "It wasn't part of the deal… I didn't cry during my story, you don't get to cry during yours." She said confidently, her voice wavering slightly.

She watched as his lips curled up into a sad smile, he shook his head a little as a tear fell down his cheek. "No crying?" He whispered.

"No. It's not allowed." She shook her head, her lip sticking out just slightly as she felt a tear rolling down her cheek.

"What if I told you… that Christmas was his absolute favorite holiday?"

"No." She replied, shaking her head, watching as he sat up, releasing her hand.

"What if I told you… that his favorite thing to do for Christmas was decorate the tree… and he would set each one of us up on chairs beside the tree, to decorate a certain level of it… and as tall as you could get, that's as high as your decorations could go… and that he would always lift one of us to put the star on top…" Derek explained, standing carefully beside the tree, he demonstrated how his father held his children. "He would hold us up really high and be sure that we fastened it tightly, and when he was through, he would let us go… into his arms and cradle us softly for a moment before he let us to the ground to see our handywork… and he did it with his children… his grandchildren… and… and… and… he'll never be able to do it with my children." He said with a whimper. "I can't even cry about that?" He asked.

"No… no crying… I don't do crying…" She shook her head.

"Maybe you need to." He said, falling to his knees beside her as he looked down on her. "Maybe you need to… express it and tell your mother how you feel… have you ever told her how you feel? Have you ever told her how much you had missed because of her?"

"What would be the point?" She shrugged. "I can't just tell her that I'm angry that I missed out on all of those Christmases. I can just hope that in the future… I can find someone to make it better… to make all of those lonely times worthwhile. I can find someone that will be able to give me all of the Christmas wishes that I ever wanted, that I could ever hope for. Find someone to share stories with." She sighed, shrugging her shoulder as she watched him stand above her. "You can cry that your father isn't here, Derek… and you can be sad that you missed your last chance to have Christmas with him… or you can take your memories that you have of him and relive them in the future… when you can have children of your own to share them with…"

"Someone to share stories with…" Derek whispered, sitting down beside her again, he lay down carefully on the carpet, instinctively pulling her closer to him. She didn't pull back, and she wasn't sure why. She placed her hand in his, and her other hand on his chest as they stared up at the tree together.

"Someone to hold your hand under the Christmas tree." Meredith whispered, closing her eyes as she began to feel drowsy.

"Someone to hold your hand under the Christmas tree… that you decorated together." He whispered in return, closing his eyes as he too began to feel the drowsiness of the evening closing in.

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Soft dreams, memories and the sweet scent of flowers lulled Derek to sleep as he lay as comfortable as he had ever been on the floor of his mother's family room. What started as a few moments resting peacefully, turned into a couple of hours of peace filled slumber. His mind was only interrupted by the sound of tiny giggles coming from above him, and for a moment before he opened his eyes, he had to try to remember where he was. He could feel the weight of someone resting against him, feel the soft tendrils of hair pressed against his face, and smell the heavenly scent of the soft body against him. He listened carefully once again, and heard another set of giggles from above him. He listened carefully.

"Looks like Santa left something special for Derek under the Christmas tree." A voice whispered, hearing a chorus of giggles.

"Almost thirty years…" Derek mumbled, opening his eyes to see his four sisters standing above him, looking down on the two people lying snuggled under the tree. "Almost thirty years and you four still can't mind your own business." He whispered as he watched the grin on all of their faces. "What do you want?" He asked, his voice deep and gravely as he yawned slightly, listening to the soft snoring of the woman lying against him.

"We need to put the gifts under the tree…" Kathleen whispered.

"Oh." He whispered, pressing his face down into Meredith's hair for a moment, he looked up at them. "Can you give us a second?" He whispered, watching his sisters shake their head with a humored grin. "Please…" He whispered.

"We'll be in the kitchen." Bethany replied, nudging Joann as they giggled again. Nancy and Kathleen hovered for another moment before giggling and walking towards the kitchen.

Derek watched as they disappeared, one by one into the kitchen, giggling just slightly as they disappeared behind the door. He leaned his head back for a moment and shifted slightly under her weight, her head resting fully on his chest, her right arm draped delicately over his stomach, grasping his sweater. He smiled softly as he lifted his hand, carefully running his fingers through her hair. "Meredith." He whispered, trying to be gentle as he tried desperately not to startle her. "Meredith?" He whispered again, carefully rubbing her arm as he pushed her hair from her face. He shifted slightly as he watched her eyes open slowly.

After a moment, her eyes widened as she sat up quickly. "Oh!" She exclaimed, pushing herself from his arms swiftly as she looked around. Derek could immediately tell that she was embarrassed and upset. "I'm sorry…" She shook her head as she checked her mouth quickly for any drool, rubbed her eyes as she looked around at the room, the clouds outside becoming a little more light as dawn began to break, she watched the soft smile on Derek's face and immediately felt embarrassed, that she had crossed some kind of line that she shouldn't have. "Oh, I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry…" She whispered as she stood up quickly.

"Meredith…" He said, unsure of what exactly to say to her in her state of panic. "Wait…" He said watching as she quickly retreated to the stairs, and climbed them swiftly. "Meredith…" He said one more time, the scent of her hair and the warmth of her body now just a memory.

Derek sat on the floor of the living room in a slight state of shock. Meredith's quick departure was almost expected, yet he was still surprised by how quickly she had disappeared up the steps. He felt cold there suddenly, sitting beneath the Christmas tree alone, knowing full well that he would need to form some sort of explanation for his sisters who were most likely standing at the kitchen door as he sat there. He could feel a slight tug at his heart, and the tiny pull at his emotions as he shook his head and sighed, remembering the moment that they had shared.

Slowly, he lifted himself from the floor, glancing to the stairs one last time, he resisted climbing them to find her. He took a deep breath as he walked slowly towards the kitchen. As he neared the kitchen, he listened to the sounds within, the footsteps moving from the door as his sisters made themselves busy with nothing as he opened the door. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him, watching as they all stopped what they were doing and looked up at him. "What?" He said, glancing around the room at the four of them.

"What?" Nancy asked, a look of concern on her face as she watched her brother's eyes. They could all tell that he wasn't amused, wasn't happy, wasn't exactly completely there at that moment, so any need or feeling to crack a joke or smile was squashed as he stood defensively at the door.

"We're glad you were able to make it, Derek." Joann said softly, watching her brother as he continued to stand defensively by the door. He nodded his head as he looked to his other two sisters, Bethany and Kathleen.

"Are you going to say anything?" He asked, daring them to make a joke.

"There's nothing to say, Derek." Kathleen replied.

"What do you want us to say?" Bethany asked.

"Nothing." He said softly. "Do you need help with getting the gifts ready?" He asked.

"It's alright, Derek." Bethany replied. "Go on upstairs and get some sleep… the kids don't even know you're here… they're going to be very excited to see you. You're going to need all of the sleep that you can get." She offered him a small smile as she watched his eyes graze the room one more time as he turned and silently walked out of the room. He listened for a moment, hearing only silence in the kitchen as he stood there. He then turned, and made his way quickly up the stairs.

He stepped down the hallway to the room that his mother had prepared for him, watching the light at the bottom of the door of the room at the end of the hallway. He glanced to the door to his room and sighed, taking a deep breath, he turned for the end of the hallway. Walking quickly to the door, he tapped on it lightly, pressing his cheek against the cool wooden door. He waited to see if she would open it, and listened to her moving around in the room. "Meredith." He whispered softly, his voice deep and concerned. He waited to see if she would reply, and heard none. "Meredith…" He said again, a little louder. "I just… wanted to apologize if I stepped over any lines…" He said softly. "I want you to know that… you didn't step over any here… Thank you… Thank you for talking to me." He whispered, looking down to the floor he could see by her shadow that she was standing by the door. "I just wanted to thank you." He whispered again as he turned and slowly made his way back down the hallway towards his room.

Looking to the floor, he watched as the hallway slowly filled with light. He turned to the door and reached for the doorknob, glancing back to the woman standing in the doorway of the bedroom, peering out at him. "Thank you, Derek." She whispered to him, watching as he smiled just slightly at her gesture. "Have sweet dreams." She whispered.

"Merry Christmas, Meredith." He smiled softly as he watched her watch him.

"Merry Christmas, Derek." Meredith whispered back, watching as he slowly slipped into the bedroom, slowly closing the door behind him.

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Meredith didn't feel like she had been sleeping too long, before she heard the sound of something that rose her completely out of a sound sleep. Loudly, coming from downstairs came the clanking sound of metal objects being smacked together. She sat up straight in bed, looking around for a moment she had to remind herself of where she was. When she heard the giggling of children and the sound of feet making their way downstairs, she grinned brightly. Slowly, she made her way to the door, pressing her ear to the wood, she listened to the sound of children whispering and giggling as they conspired of gifts and who was good or bad. She listened and smiled, when suddenly she jumped back from the door at the sound of someone knocking lightly. She thought it was one of the adults, but could tell by the location of the knock that it was much lower on the door.

She opened the door slowly, peeking down to the source of the tiny knock and smiled down at a messy haired little boy with blue eyes grinning as bright as bright could be up at her. "Merry Christmas, Meredith." Timothy smiled, his eyes twinkling with that gleam that children get on Christmas morning, and it made Meredith's heart lift to see his rosy pink cheeks and happy smile at her door.

"Merry Christmas, Timothy." She replied, watching down the hallway as some of the other children slowly made their way downstairs. "What's going on out there?" She asked curiously, watching as he looked anxiously back at everyone and then back up at Meredith.

"It's Christmas morning, silly! That's the wakeup call! We all gotta get downstairs… come on!" He exclaimed happily.

"Just let me change and…"

"No!" He laughed. "Shepherds never get dressed before the first gift is opened…" He giggled. "Hurry!" He laughed as he ran off towards the stairs, giggling and laughing as he ran along.

Meredith stood at the door, watching the joy and laughter in the little boy's face, in the skip in his step as he giggled his way down the steps with his cousins. She could feel the warmth and magical feeling seeping into her body as she stood there. She looked down at her pajama bottoms and her t-shirt, and back up again as another child made their way from the room, calling for everyone to wait up, her braids bouncing as she went, her warm pajamas providing her with a comfort. She contemplated going back into the room and changing, listening as the clanking stopped downstairs. She assumed that it meant that everyone was present and accounted for.

She felt a little empty feeling though, growing at the pit of her stomach, knowing that she was just tagging along with this family. The longer she stood there, listening to the sounds of the morning greetings at the bottom of the stairs, the more lonely and out of place she felt.

This isn't my family. Why am I smiling at this? It's not right. I have no right to be here, I am an intruder. I am an intruder, and I have to get out of here. I have to get back to the Christmas that I know, because I am only piggy backing on this beautiful Christmas. It's not fair to the Shepherds. It's not fair to the…

In mid thought, a door down the hallway opened, pulling her thoughts down there. She looked at the opening of the door and watched as someone popped their head out and looked towards the stairs. His hair was messy, standing on end, and his focus was at the stairs for a moment. She thought for a second to close the door, hide behind it, when his face turned towards her. "Morning!" He exclaimed, his grin was brighter and happier than Timothy's had been, and his eyes were filled with more mischief and wonder than the little boy's as well.

"Good Morning." She said with a tiny giggle, tilting her head, she couldn't help but grin at the happy sound in his voice.

"It's Christmas." He whispered, his face becoming serious for only a moment before it was replaced by that magical grin.

"It is." She replied, watching as he looked towards the stairs once again.

"What are you still doing up here?" He asked.

"What are you still doing up here?" She replied.

"Some Grinch kept me up all night long." He laughed at her smile, watching the twinkle in her eye and the pink in her cheeks as she blushed in the doorway. "I'll race you downstairs…" He said with a smile.

"You're closer, it wouldn't be fair." She replied, glancing to the stairs, and back to him.

"Then come over here…come on… we can start here…" He laughed.

She grinned brightly, the sound of the children and adults downstairs was loud and happy and she couldn't help but want to be a part of it, intruder or not. She felt guilty though, standing there, wanting to be a part of this tradition that she shouldn't be a part of. "What's wrong?" He asked, watching her body language change, her smile disappear slightly.

"I should go get my car." She whispered. "I have to go." She said, turning suddenly towards the room.

"No!" He exclaimed, running down the hallway, he didn't realize how slippery the wooden floor was, and started to slide wildly towards her. "Crap…" He exclaimed as he nearly slid right into her, making her giggle as he slammed into the doorframe, if not on purpose and hard, but enough to make her laugh. He touched her arm. "You can't go." He whispered.

"Why not? I have my own Christmas to get to." She replied.

"You said that it's not worth it… you aren't appreciated… stay here…" He said, tilting his head as he smiled. "Please?" He asked.

"It is an imposition, Derek. I don't belong here."

"What about me? I haven't been here in two years… some of my own nieces and nephews don't know who I am."

"That's different." She shook her head.

"Please stay…" He said, looking into her eyes as she tried to avoid his gaze. His raven black hair was pointing in all different directions, his eyes holding a sleepy gaze, though still filled with that wonder and happiness of Christmas morning. "Please?"

"Derek?" Mrs. Shepherd's voice came from downstairs. "Derek, are you coming down?"

"I'll be right down, Mom…" He replied.

"Okay, sweetheart. Get Meredith while you're up there, will you? Tell her that we're waiting to open our gifts…" She replied.

"I'll get her." He said, his face turning as he grinned wickedly. "Mom said to get you." He said.

"I have to…" She grinned and giggled.

"I have to get you!" He exclaimed as he suddenly grabbed her gently.

"Derek!" She exclaimed, laughing uproariously as he pulled her into his arms, lifting her from the floor.

"Mom said to get you!" He exclaimed against her protests as he carried her down the hallway, feeling as she struggled only slightly, only enough to not give in completely to his strong arms as he held her against his chest.

"Put me down!" She squealed as he bounded down the steps with her in his arms, squealing and laughing as he chuckled.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, they were immediately met by the stares of the family. Everyone stopped what they were doing for a moment and watched the two young people on the stairs. As soon as they caught sight of all of the eyes on them, Derek gently lifted Meredith to the ground. They stood on the landing, staring out at the family, both of their faces bright red for the time being, their eyes holding a guilty mischief as they both tried desperately not to laugh at the family's surprise.

"Merry Christmas everyone!" Derek exclaimed, trying to dispel the stares, though he could see the smirk on everyone's face, and he knew it wasn't an uncomfortable stare. He could tell that it was a cautious, grin worthy stare filled with curiosity and happiness. He glanced to Meredith and could tell immediately that she was feeling uncomfortable, all of the eyes on both of them. "What are you all looking at? Mom told me to get Meredith…" He shook his head. He grabbed her hand and tugged, walking down the stairs with a laugh, he headed towards the Christmas tree. "Where are my presents?" he laughed as all of the children converged on their favorite uncle, and the real Christmas morning could begin.

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Derek muscled his way through the throng of children attacking him for hugs and kisses, pretending that he was climbing a mountain as he laughed and chuckled, tripping his way across the room to the large red chair where Santa had been sitting the night before. One by one, the children climbed atop him, over him, around him, laughing and giggling as Derek asked them all how they had been and if they were excited for Christmas. Each and every one of them had a grin so bright and so happy, and Derek was taking it all in.

Meredith stood to the side, her giggles mixed with everyone else's as she sat down quietly against the wall away from everything, also taking in the sights and festivities within a distance. She looked up when she saw Bethany approaching her, and suddenly felt nervous after the display that had occurred just moments before when she was in Derek's arms, though she was grateful when she sat beside her and only asked her if she'd like a cup of coffee. Meredith accepted politely and Bethany made her way towards the kitchen as Meredith continued to scan the room.

Mrs. Shepherd was making herself busy by the tree, arranging gifts as Michael, Neil, Joseph, and Justin brought their share of children's gifts to their wife's side where the children could open the gifts when they were ready. Joann was tending to her little one, while Nancy wiped her daughter's runny nose and checked a bump on her head that she had gotten when she was roughhousing with the other children. Kathleen was standing over her brother taking pictures as the children climbed over him as everyone laughed and giggled happily.

The cheer was interrupted for only a moment when the telephone rang, and Michael reached for it as he leaned over a table beside the tree. He smiled as he said his greeting, and listened carefully as he talked to the person on the other line. His face was suddenly serious and Meredith noticed that he had glanced to her as he talked. He nodded his head, speaking a few more things as he visibly tried to remain calm. Meredith knew that Michael had called the sheriff's office of the town where she had left her car, and she could only assume that this was regarding her car. She sighed at the thought of her car being stuck in a snow bank somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and for a moment wondered what would have come of her if she had just stayed there. It was a ratty old Jeep, but it was her car.

Michael glanced up and watched Meredith watch him on the phone. "Meredith... it's the sheriff's office about your car." He said, holding the phone out. She stood up and walked carefully across the room, though for some reason, she was getting a nervous feeling in her stomach. She wasn't sure if it was just in her head, or the way Michael was looking at her. He had sort of a cringed look on his face, as if something was really bugging him as he handed her the phone, and she could have sworn that she heard him whisper 'sorry' as she took the receiver.

Derek watched as Meredith took the phone beside the tree. He tried not to make it too obvious as he tickled his nieces and nephews and talked with them animatedly. He watched as she said something into the phone, her face suddenly gone pale. He watched as her eyes began to fill with tears, her hands started to tremble. She sat down on one of the chairs, talking softly into the phone as she attempted to calm her nerves, and after a few moments, she turned and put the phone on the receiver. She stared at the floor for a moment and looked up, her eyes meeting his for just a moment as he shifted his nephew to his other knee. Her face was flushed suddenly as she stood up and moved quickly towards the stairs.

"You stay right here, buddy… I need to go do something quickly…I'll be right back…" Derek said softly as he set his nephew on the chair, gave one of his nieces a peck on the cheek and made his way quickly through the room over gifts and followed Meredith up the stairs. He took the steps two at a time, and everyone's eyes followed him as he disappeared into the hallway upstairs.

He rounded the corner and walked towards the bedroom that Meredith had been staying in, but stopped short when he passed the bathroom. From within, he could hear the sound of her crying softly. He lifted his hand to knock, and suddenly, the door opened, and he was flung inside the bathroom, pulled inside by his arm.

"Geez…" Derek said as he turned quickly, though stopping what he was going to say as soon as he saw the look on her face. "What happened?"

"My… car…" She whispered, her voice desperate as she shook her head.

"What about it? What happened?"

"It's totaled." She whimpered, covering her mouth with her hand as soon as she had seen it.

"Totaled?" Derek asked, his mouth wide in surprise.

"Snowplow…" She whispered. "A snow plow came down the road about an hour after I was picked up by Michael… and it smashed into my car… it totaled it… it's at a tow yard nearby where it happened… Derek… my car was totaled…" She said softly, looking at the stranger as she shook her head. "Nevermind… just… nevermind, why am I even telling you this? I don't know you… I don't even know what I'm… I need to get out of here…" She said as she turned and stormed out of the bathroom, running down the hallway, she turned the corner to the bedroom to get her things. She pulled off her t-shirt as she entered the room, rummaging through her bag to find some clothes, she looked up when the door opened. "Getting dressed here!" She exclaimed, watching as he walked back out the door and stood with the door open just a little.

"Meredith, you don't have to leave…"

"Yes I do." She said as she pulled a sweater from her bag. She threw it over her head as she rummaged through for clean underwear.

"No you don't… I can take you wherever you want to go…" He replied as he listened to her angrily shoving her pajamas into her bag.

"Oh… that's a great idea… I think I'm going to not only impose on people on their beautiful Christmas day… but I'm going to force their son, brother, uncle… whatever… that they haven't seen for longer than five minutes in two years… and I've never met…to Boston so that my mother can ream me out about leaving my car on the side of the road in the middle of a snowstorm… oh… that sounds like a great idea… I would rather hitchhike… be murdered and then I won't have to deal with this…" She babbled on as she pulled on her clean underwear and grabbed her jeans, leaning on the bed, tipping backwards, she pulled them up onto her legs and over her hips, zipping them and buttoning them, she sprang up.

"Meredith… can I come in now?" He asked.

"I'm still naked." She muttered as she continued to shove her things in her bag. She grabbed her coat and fling it over her shoulders, shoving her arms into the sleeves, she stomped to the door and swung the door open.

"You're not naked."

"Nice deduction, Sherlock." Meredith mumbled as she stalked past him and towards the stairs.

"Meredith… you can't leave…please…"

"I can leave… I have to leave… I've imposed enough… I can find a ride to a bus stop or a… taxi… or whatever… but I can't stay here any longer." She mumbled as she bounded down the stairs quickly, her bag bouncing on her back as she headed down the stairs. Derek followed her down the steps as she headed towards the door. Everyone's eyes were on the two of them as the door opened. "Mrs. Shepherd… everyone… thank you for a wonderful Christmas… Thank you very much…" She smiled as she pulled her boots onto her feet.

"Meredith…" Mrs. Shepherd said as she headed towards the door, Derek standing beside her as he continued to beg her to stay. "Meredith, please don't go…"

"I should go… I really should go… I appreciate your hospitality and everything… and… and… I just…" She whispered as she started to panic, seeing all of the faces popping up in the doorway from the family room, their eyes showing concern as she anxiously stuttered. "Have a Merry Christmas… thank you." She muttered as she swung the door opened and walked out onto the porch and down the stairs. When she reached the bottom step, she realized that the front walk had yet to be shoveled, and there had been quite a snowfall when she had been sleeping. She stepped right into the snow, feeling the cold wetness of it seep into her jeans as she stood there nearly knee deep in it.

You have got to be kidding me!

Meredith was determined to get somewhere, though, and was frustrated and embarrassed and very upset. She stomped through the snow, down the walk to the driveway, freshly plowed, she was happy to have gotten that far as she started to walk briskly down the long, long driveway.

"Meredith!"

Doesn't he ever give up?

Meredith picked up the pace and Derek continued to call to her as she walked quicker and quicker down the driveway.

"Meredith, wait!" He exclaimed as he finally caught up with her.

She swung around and glared at him. "I have to go… it's cold out here, and I just want to get somewhere warm."

"You can…"

"Not there… I don't want to do this… alright? Just let me go… okay? You don't know me… I don't know you… so let's make it much easier and let me just get somewhere on my own, or freeze to death in the process." She growled.

"My mother will kill me if I don't bring you back to the house." Derek replied.

"Your mother will kill you?"

"Yes." Derek said, a slight smirk on his face as he nodded.

"And if I refuse?"

"I'll be dead… you'll be dead… and I don't want either of those…"

"So… what are you saying?" She asked, giving him an irritated glare as she watched him take a step forward towards her.

"That means I'm going to lift you up and bring you back to the house if I have to."

"No you won't!" She exclaimed.

"Oh… I will…" He said with a grin as he watched her back up a little more, turning on her heel, she started to run.

"I can run faster than you!" He exclaimed as he ran after her.

"No you can't! Stop chasing me!" She exclaimed as she suddenly lost her footing on the slippery drive.

"I will stop chasing you when you stop running!" he exclaimed, sliding onto his butt, he slid down onto the ground right behind her and as she fell down, she landed directly on top of his body, her body crashing into his as he grabbed her around the waist. "GOT YOU!"

"LET GO!" She exclaimed, her scream actually a giggle as she struggled to get away from him, yanking and pulling at his arms as he held her securely.

"Agree that you'll go back to the house." He groaned, his back hurting as he lay there on the icy cold ground.

"No!"

"Tell me that you'll go back to the house!" He exclaimed.

"No! No! No! No!" She screamed, giggling as she struggled.

"Stop playing hard to get!" he exclaimed, suddenly feeling her body relax against his, her struggling ceasing.

"That was a cheap shot." She said, out of breath, warm from her struggle on the ice.

"My ass is freezing…" he muttered.

"You're the cowboy here…" She replied, trying to catch her breath, she felt his grip loosen as she rolled off him onto her stomach on the ground.

"Please come back." He said softly. "Where else do you have to go? Your car is totaled and you don't want to see your mother… please… impose on a family full of strangers if it means you won't be lonely, sad… and alone…"

"You just don't want to be alone." She said, raising her eyebrows as he stood up and held his hand out to her.

"Maybe…" He smiled. "Maybe I don't want to be alone…but why can't we be alone together?" He asked as she grasped his hand and stood up, pulling her hand from his.

"Derek…"

"Please?"

"What do I do about my car?" She pouted.

"We'll figure that out… after Christmas…" He said, watching her sad face. He reached out with his hand and touched her chin, bringing her eyes to meet his. "It's too late to do anything… and no one is around on Christmas day… I promise… that I will help you get home, get back to school, get anywhere you want after today… but in the meantime, you're going to have to pretend you're happy to be here with me."

"With your family." She corrected as she crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a faux suspicious look.

"No… with me… they have them… we're alone together… remember?" He asked.

"Alone together…"

"Yep." He grinned holding his hand out to her. "Please…" He said softly once again, watching as her eyes searched his.

"Alright…" She sighed, shaking her head as she took his hand softly and let him lead her back towards the house.

"Oh…" Derek said as he turned his eyes towards her. "It really wasn't my mother's idea for me to come find you…" He shrugged. "It was mine."

She looked up into his eyes and gave him a smirk, shaking her head. "I kind of figured…" She said with a tiny giggle as she tightened her grip on his hand and walked with him back towards the house.

--------------

Walking back to the house together, Derek could feel her arm tensing up as they neared the door. "I can't go back in there…" She whispered, stopping as they continued up the driveway.

"Meredith…"

"No… Derek… I embarrassed myself. I ran out of there like an idiot. I can't go in there…"

"Trust me Meredith…they've already forgotten…"

"Trust you… trust you? You want me to trust you… I don't even know you, and you keep telling me to trust you!" She exclaimed as she began to pace in the driveway.

"I don't really know you, but I know you're high maintenance." He smirked as he watched her stop pacing and glare at him. He laughed out loud at the expression on her face and shook his head.

"I am not high maintenance!" She exclaimed.

"No… you're stubborn… and if you're stubborn, you're not going to think anything of what my family thinks of you… so let's go inside…before my feet fall off." He said, indicating his feet.

"You're wearing slippers!" She exclaimed, watching his toes wiggle out of the front of them.

"Yes… very wet slippers now…" He said as he held his hand out to her again. "Let's go…"

"Why would you wear slippers?" She asked as she grabbed his hand and walked with him up the driveway.

"I didn't have time to get my boots on, you're too fast…" He said with a chuckle as they got to the walk. They looked at the snow and before Meredith could say another word, he lifted her up with a squeal and carried her through the snow, up the steps and deposited her on the porch.

"What is with you and carrying women around… do you have a caveman complex or something?"

"Hush before I hit you with my club…" He winked as he opened the door for her and they both stepped inside.

Stepping inside from the cold, they found the same happiness and cheer that had been there when they had left. The children were starting to open their gifts, and all of the parents were sitting around in the family room laughing and talking. Derek kicked his slippers off and helped Meredith with her coat as he nodded his head towards the family room.

As she entered the room, with Derek right behind her, Timothy looked up and grinned. "Meredith! Look what Santa brought me!" He exclaimed, holding up a fire truck in both hands as she smiled.

"That's great, Timothy…" She smiled softly as she watched Derek watch her.

Bethany came around from the side of her and handed her a cup of coffee. "Here you go…" She smiled as she nodded towards the couch, where there were two seats left. "You guys can get that spot…" She smirked at her brother, who shook his head as he placed his hand on Meredith's back lightly, leading her towards the couch. He carefully took her coffee for her so that she could get situated on the couch, and handed it to her as he sat beside her, and they continued to watch the joy and happiness of the children opening their Christmas gifts.

--------------

The gifts were opened and the children played, giggled, laughed and napped as Mrs. Shepherd and her four daughters made their way to the kitchen to put the finishing touches on dinner. Derek sat with his brothers in law and talked happily about this and that while Meredith sat awkwardly beside him, beginning to feel wholly out of place. She was fidgeting with her fingers, listening to one of the children's tales of Christmas while she bit her bottom lip.

"Meredith?" Nancy called from the kitchen door. "Why don't you come on into the kitchen…we're all in here, you can help too if you want." She smiled happily, seeing the girl look nervously at her.

"They won't bite." Derek whispered from beside her, and jumped when she pinched his leg lightly. "Ow…" He whispered, giving her a faux dirty look as she smirked at him. "Go on…"

"But I'm not…"

"You said you wanted a family like this… go on… go pretend you're a part of it." He nodded towards the kitchen.

The little girl on her lap climbed down onto the floor, and began to play with one of her dolls as Meredith started to stand up. As she turned to walk to the kitchen, she felt Derek grab her arm and pull her towards him. She leaned down and chills ran down her spine as she felt his hot breath against her skin. "They're going to ask you for details." He whispered.

"Details of what?" She asked, turning her head to face him, giving him an incredulous look.

"You know what… give them what they want." He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"You're ridiculous." She shook her head as she pulled her hand slowly from his, gave him a sly grin and walked towards the kitchen. He watched as she disappeared through the kitchen door and immediately noticed that all of his brothers in law were looking at him.

"What?" He asked, his cheeks turning red as he glanced around at them.

"You like her…" Michael laughed.

"Shut up…" Derek replied. "She's alone at Christmas… her car was totaled… it was a bad day, I am just being nice." He replied, shaking his head.

"Derek… you can't be serious… the way that you're looking at her…" Neil shook his head.

"What is this, a hair salon? I have to tell you all of the gossip going on around the street? Can we talk about something else, please?" Derek asked with an embarrassed sigh, the smirk still not leaving his face.

"Just tell me… are you going to make a move?" Joseph asked, leaning in and nudging Derek.

"Alright…no… no, I have absolutely no interest in the long lost girl from wherever. I'm being polite… we are dropping that conversation… starting now." Derek replied, giving them all a serious look.

"Denial!" Michael laughed as the other men laughed as well.

------

Meredith stepped into the kitchen shyly, smiling at the five women who were standing around doing various things to prepare for dinner. She smiled and sighed slightly, still feeling that tingle from Derek's touch on her fingertips. "What can I help with…?" She smiled softly, glancing around at the women as they looked up and smiled happily.

"Well… the dishes are up there in that cupboard, Meredith…" Mrs. Shepherd replied, pointing to a cupboard. "The children get the smaller dishes, and their table is set up at the end of the dining room… and the adults get the larger dishes with the holly design on it… salad bowls… and the silver is in the case on the wall over there." She smiled as she watched the girl nod, a smile on her face that made her smile herself.

Meredith walked over to the cupboard and began to pull plates out from the cupboard, doing as she had been told with the smaller plates and the larger plates, and moved them towards the dining room. She returned for napkins and silver, lighting the candles as she had been asked and talking candidly with the other women in the kitchen.

"So… you and Derek seemed very comfortable last night." Kathleen said softly, glancing over to Meredith as she pulled wine glasses from the cupboard.

"He talked to me when I couldn't sleep." She replied, nodding softly. "I just… felt a little awkward being in a home that I didn't belong in." She shrugged softly.

"Dear…" Mrs. Shepherd says turning around. "I invited you into my home… you belong here… please… stop feeling as if it is an imposition… you are a smart, articulated young woman… and I can tell that Derek likes you very much. I think he enjoys your company." She pointed out.

"Derek is nice." She replied, taking the glasses in her hands to the dining room. She set them up and returned to the kitchen.

"Will you be going ice skating with us after dinner?" Bethany asked softly as she glanced to her sister.

"Ice skating?" Meredith whispered. "I've never been ice skating before…"

"Every Christmas night we go to the town square to go ice skating… there'll be rental skates there… you're more than welcome to join us." Kathleen replied.

"Of course she's going to join us." Mrs. Shepherd replied.

"I… guess I'm going ice skating." Meredith shrugged with a giggle as she stood against the cupboard.

"Good." Nancy smiled. "I'm sure Derek will be more than willing to teach you how to ice skate." She winked with a giggle as Meredith shook her head, her cheeks turning bright red as she grinned.

"Alright… I think dinner is all ready." Mrs. Shepherd said with a smile as she pulled the turkey from the oven.

"I'll go gather the natives…" Joann giggled as she shook her head and laughed, walking out towards the family room.

----------------------

Dinner was set up on the table, and parents lifted, carried, ushered, and convinced their children into their chairs as they all sat down at the long dining room table that was set up. The turkey was placed at the table on the end, and Mrs. Shepherd sat at her seat at the other end of the table. Meredith watched carefully as everyone came into the room slowly. Husbands pulled chairs out for their wives, children begged their parents for a spot at the adult table and babies were lined up in their high chairs, happy to have a toy or a bowl with cereal in it while everyone else prepared to sit down for dinner.

She watched the candles on the table, the flickering of the flame as they methodically licked away at the candle wick, sending silent streams of wax cascading down the sides of the long tapered candles. She watched the colors of the table cloth and how the red and green of the trim was laced delicately around it, as if whoever had made it, did so with such care and love. She was so engrossed in the happiness of the family's preparation, that she hadn't even realized that everything was just about ready. She didn't move until she felt a slight pressure on her right shoulder. She looked to the right and Derek stood there with a kind smile as he carefully took her hand. His eyes remained on hers completely as he reached out gently and pulled the chair out for her.

"Thank you." She said, watching as his eyes sparkled again, his eyes winking slightly as he helped pull the chair in for her now, seating her comfortably in her chair. He then took a step to her left and pulled the chair beside her, the chair on the end of the table, out slightly so that he could prepare to sit down.

Derek stood before his family, the hungry bunch of happy people as they giggled, laughed, joked and smiled. He felt bad for becoming solemn all of a sudden, and Meredith could see the look in his face was solid and determined. She knew what he was about to do, just by the way he stood there at the end of the table. He attempted to recite his words in his head before he let them spill from his lips, and she could see that every word that was emitted would be an important one.

"Alright everyone… okay…" He said as everyone started to quiet, watching as Derek stood at the end, looking down the long table at his family. "Alright everyone." He said once again, attempting to gain their attention. "Okay…" He smiled, carefully taking his glass, but not before smiling down at Meredith as she looked up at him with an expectant and supportive gaze. He smiled softly as he watched as everyone reached for their glass. "I would like to offer a toast…" He said softly as he watched his mother watch on proudly. Her son was now carrying on a tradition that her husband had always thought important, reflection on friends and family during Christmas dinner, was one of his favorite things, and she watched as her son stood before them all with her husband's eyes, her husband's smile, and her husband's stance.

"My father… our father… dad… he… unfortunately… could not be here this year to celebrate this wondrous time of year with us." Derek said softly, trying to stay strong. "He would stand here… year after year and hold his glass in the air for minutes at time… babbling on about the time of year… how beautiful everything was covered in snow… and how much he looked forward to the coming year…. He would comment on the weather…the beauty of mom…" Derek grinned. "He would make sure everyone understood and knew… how absolutely in love with his family he was. He would make sure that everyone understood how this time of year was special to him… how you all touched his heart, touched his soul… touched his mind every moment of every day." He whispered, his eyes catching his mother's as he smiled. He could feel the teardrops in his eyes.

"I… told myself… that I wouldn't cry today… when I did this toast." He said, glancing to Meredith. "I know that some of you here… don't do crying…" He laughed a little as he watched Meredith laugh. He looked up and panned the room again. "But I think I'll tell you… something that someone who has a different perspective on things told me… She told me that… I can cry… if I want… I can cry if I want to… to mourn the passing of my father and his traditions and his love for the holiday season… or… or I can carry on those traditions. I can love… honor… and take those traditions and hold them near and dear to my heart. I can cradle those memories in my arms… as I will my own child some day… and lift those memories to the top of the Christmas tree each year when I put the star at the top." He said as he let a tear fall. "Christmas… is about the past." He sighed. "It's about… the future…" He said, nodding towards his nieces and nephews… "But most importantly… it's about the present… and how it would be a shame if we let it pass by without taking a pause for those who are in our past… and in… our future." He whispered, glancing down at Meredith, seeing the slow tear rolling down her cheek. "So… without further adieu… and without further explanation… I wish to toast my father… Richard Shepherd… may he live in our past… our present… and in the future…" He said as he held up his glass, smiling as he and the rest of the family clinked their glasses, complimenting Derek on his sentiment.

As the table livened up, and the toasting was complete, Derek sat back in his chair and let out a big breath. With the attention off of him now, he relaxed in his chair, watching as everyone passed around the different parts of the meal. He was about to reach for the bowl of mashed potatoes, when he felt a hand on his. He turned his head to see Meredith smiling at him. "That was a very nice thing you did…" She whispered.

"Thank you, Meredith." He smiled softly, watching her smile at the sparkle in his eye as he kept his eyes on hers as he served himself his Christmas meal.

---------------

When dinner was finished and the conversation slowed down slightly, the men all stood up to help clear the table. They gathered the plates and leftovers, wrapping everything quickly as the women sat around the table, accepting coffee and tea from them as they carried them in as the dishes were washed. It didn't take long for some of the children to stand up and lean on their mother's arms.

"Are we gonna go soon?" Mary asked as she tugged on her mother's arm.

"We'll go soon, why don't you and the other kids go get your boots and coats ready… and then we'll get going…" Nancy said softly as she watched the little girl perk up as she ran off to announce to her cousins that it was just about time to go.

Meredith watched as all of the women stood up and started to prepare the children for their trip to the ice skating rink. She smiled as they bundled them all up really well, listening to their laughter as they giggled about Santa and all of the gifts that they had gotten, along with how excited they were about going ice skating.

"So who are you riding with?" A voice came from beside her as a hand touched her shoulder. She turned her head to face a now familiar sly smile.

"I was thinking that I would be going with Michael's family… Timothy asked me to sit next to him on the way there." She said with a smirk as she looked over to the little boy grinning from the doorway. He gave her a bit of a surprised look and watched as she walked away from his hand, towards the little boy.

"Oh… Slam…" Michael laughed, giving Derek a bit of a punch on the arm as he watched Derek get a smirk on his face. "Put into your place by my own seven year old son… Derek… I'm disappointed…" Michael laughed.

Derek smirked and leaned into Michael. "You being a podiatrist may come in handy one of these days, Michael… you may need your expertise to figure out how to get my foot out of your ass…" He chuckled.

"Oh man… you're getting nasty now… not only were you turned down for a seven year old… you're jealous of him… you have got it so bad for that girl…" Michael teased, watching as Derek shook his head and laughed, walking towards Meredith and Timothy.

She was leaning down helping him with his jacket, talking softly to him as he smiled at her. Derek approached her slowly, standing above them. "Hi Uncle Derek." Timothy grinned up at him.

"Hey buddy." He grinned, his smile flashing to Meredith as well.

"What are you smiling about?" Meredith asked, watching him almost suspiciously as she pulled the little boy's hat up onto his head.

"Oh… I was just thinking about how cute of a couple you two make." He said as he watched Timothy's eyes raise to him quickly.

"Couple?" Timothy asked.

"Derek?" Meredith asked, a bit of a laugh in her voice.

"Oh yes… It's nice to see that you found yourself a girlfriend at this early of an age, Timothy… it's kind of cute, actually." Derek remarked.

"Meredith isn't my girlfriend!" He exclaimed, getting a few looks from other family members as he took a step back.

"Could have fooled me… you're all over her… next thing I know, you're going to be kissing her and going out on dates with her… and then you'll marry her and have lots of babies together." Derek went on and on as the little boy's face cringed more and more.

"Ew, ew, ew!" Timothy exclaimed. He looked up at Meredith, whose face was holding one of shock and surprise and back to his uncle, whose smirk was one filled with mischief. His eyes were sparkling as she suddenly glared at him.

"I'm just saying that you make a very cute couple… and I hope that I can be invited to the wedding…"

"Meredith… I don't think we should sit next to eachother in the car." Timothy said nervously as he turned and went to find his father.

"You…" Meredith turned and growled at Derek.

"What?" He asked innocently, backing up as he watched her take a step towards him.

"You…" She growled again, pointing her finger at him, she poked him in the chest as he backed up further, both were aware of many of the family members watching the altercation and neither cared. "You… you… you…. You…" She stammered as she backed him up against the wall, her finger pressed against his chest hard, poking into his sternum as she gave him an angry growl.

"You know… in some countries…" Derek said, a smirk on his face. "This is considered foreplay." He whispered, bending his face down to hers so that his nose was virtually touching hers, and his eyes were looking directly into hers.

"Argh!" She exclaimed, turning quickly, she followed many of the family members out of the door and into the driveway, leaving Derek and his giggling self against the wall in the hallway.

Meredith stood in the driveway outside as everyone poured from the house, one at a time, they all made their way towards their cars, buckling children and babies into their seats, smiling, laughing, and talking as they went. When Derek stepped from the house, she glared at him the entire time he made his way to his car, a devilish smirk on his face that she couldn't help but shake her head to. She watched for a few seconds, and she felt someone touch her shoulder. She smiled as Mrs. Shepherd smiled at her. "Would you mind going with Derek, dear?" She asked softly.

"Hm?" Meredith asked, unsure if she had heard her correctly. She turned her face to see the older woman smiling.

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble… I was going to ride with Michael… Derek offered to take you along." She replied softly.

"Um… um… yeah… sure…" She said, her voice stuttering a bit. She didn't want to decline Mrs. Shepherd, it wouldn't be her place, so she smiled politely and turned towards Derek's car. She walked towards it and reached for the handle on the passenger side. Before she could open it, another hand appeared beside hers. She looked up, and there he was, grinning brightly beside her.

"Let me take care of that for you." He said with a wicked smile, the playfulness in his eyes was reflecting and beautiful, yet she refused to play into it as she allowed him to open the door for her.

"Thank you." She whispered, carefully climbing into the car, she watched as his eyes became concerned for a moment, wondering if he had crossed the line with the whole Timothy thing. She flashed him a small smile, the kind that made her eyes sparkle in just the right way, a mischievous secret smile that she knew he would catch, and suddenly his eyes lit back up again, and he smiled a little as he closed the door for her. She watched as he walked around the car, climbing in silently, he started it up and turned around to follow the other cars from the driveway.

He raised his arm to the back of the seat, looking out the rear window of the car as he turned it carefully, and when he was ready to follow the other cars, he let his hand fall slowly and gently to her shoulder, where he looked her in the eyes and smiled, before making his way down the driveway behind his family, his hand sliding softly down her arm where his hand again asked politely for admittance into hers, and was warmly invited in.