2. Goodbye
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
Esme spent the next few days trying to prepare herself for the fact her husband and her oldest brother would be going to war soon. She paid close attention as Carlisle played with Edward, knowing that soon their son wouldn't coo in delight in his father's arms. She and Carlisle were also intimate every night that week, despite the fact taking care of Edward and the house made Esme very tired. Sleep was suddenly less important than loving Carlisle. Still, even though Esme knew she would miss her husband terribly and was worried about what the war would do to Carlisle's emotional state, in some ways, she worried about her brother more. After all, Junior would be fighting in the front lines. What would happen to her brother? Would he survive?
That Sunday evening, Mother hosted a huge "going away" dinner for both Junior and Carlisle. It was a big feast of roasted chicken, potatoes, and carrots. Esme also brought biscuits to go with the meal. Mother had a large, round, wooden table that fit everyone in their family. It wasn't as fancy as the red oak table that Carlisle and Esme had in their home, but it was worth it to have their whole family sit together. For several minutes, no one knew what to say for the occasion, though. It was so quiet Esme wouldn't be surprised if she heard a mouse walk across the floor.
Esme picked up a piece of chicken and began chewing. Some of the others did so as well, but no one talked. Esme watched her oldest brother eat his potatoes. She hadn't been that close to him in the last few years because he didn't live at home. Then after she married, Esme was too busy with her own life. But there was a time where she had idolized her oldest brother.
Esme's mind drifted back to one of her earliest memories. She would have been about two or three. Little Esme looked out the window to see her brother up in the sky! How was that possible? "Mama, Junior's flying! How can he do that? Can I fly, Mama?"
Mother looked out the window and sighed. "Junior, you're supposed to be taking care of the horses. Not climbing trees again! Now get down here this instant!"
"Yes, Mother," Junior replied.
But Esme stared at her brother again as he came down. Climbing trees? Was that what Junior was doing? Could she do it, too?
Then Esme remembered another moment, when she was a little bit older. About five, maybe? Esme was supposed to stay near the barn and play with her doll, but what fun was that? She dropped her doll and ran toward her brothers yelling, "Teach me how to climb trees! I want to touch the sky!"
Junior and Alan shook their heads. "We'll get in trouble with Mother," Junior told her.
"Go play with your doll, Esme," Alan added.
But Esme put her hands on her hips and shook her head. How could playing with her doll compare with the excitement of climbing trees with her brothers? "I don't want to play with dolls! I want to climb trees!"
Junior shook his head at Alan. "Mother's busy with other things today, I suppose. How much trouble could we get in if we let her do it just once?"
Alan sighed. "Come on, Esme," he commented taking her hand. He led her to a large tree behind the barn. "This tree is the best, because it has low branches." And with that Esme's brothers taught her how to climb a tree. The tree that would become her favorite in the following years.
Esme's mind finally returned to the present as she realized her chicken was almost gone. Once again, she wondered why Junior had to volunteer for the army, and the front lines at that. "Make sure you come home," she told him firmly. "I need you to help teach Edward how to climb a tree."
Junior smiled at Esme as he finished a bite of potatoes. "Of course. I'll fine. Don't worry about me."
Esme opened her mouth to tell him that wasn't possible; of course she worried about him! But Junior continued, "I know how to take care of myself, you know. Plus, doctors like Carlisle to look after me."
He turned to look at his brother – in – law. "I'm glad to hear you'll be going, too. You're a good doctor. Soldiers need doctors like you."
Esme smiled, pleased to see how much Junior respected her husband. And he was correct. If Junior had doctors like Carlisle to look after him, he'd be fine. Perhaps they'd even be assigned to the same area? She felt slightly better about Carlisle joining the army.
Carlisle smiled as well. "I appreciate that. I do my best." He drank some milk.
Esme's youngest brother, Timmy, who was now ten years old and growing all the time, suddenly exclaimed, "I wish I could join the army! I'd like to do something important for America, like you two are." He pointed to Junior and Carlisle. "If I were only a little bit older, I could!"
Esme's mother looked at her youngest son in horror. "I think it's better that you stay here with us, Timmy," she told him firmly.
Esme nodded. War was definitely no place for her little brother. Timmy, who Esme had to encourage to eat his green beans for years and still left his marbles on the living room floor?
"There's a lot of ways to support the war, Timmy," Father added. "You can help Alan and I, and the rest of the family with the farm. Our farm supplies the soldiers with food, you know."
Timmy shoulders shagged. "Well…I suppose." He took a gulp of milk and gave himself a mustache. No, Timmy's definitely not ready for war, Esme thought to herself.
"Personally, I think the farm is a lot more exciting than the war in Europe," Alan commented, looking right at Timmy. "There's always something new happening here. Sometimes the horses need tending or the barn needs fixing. Then there's weeding, keeping the bugs of the crops, the list is endless! And with a new fella on his way," Alan paused and looked at his wife's stomach, "Where else would I want to be?"
Amy was dressed in a long blue skirt and blouse without a corset and her hair in a big braid. Shelooked at her husband gratefully, brushing a stray brown hair from her face as she did so.
Esme felt a bit of jealousy that Alan had chosen to stay with his new family rather than joining the army. She understood Carlisle's decision now. She really did. But a part of her couldn't help thinking it would be nice if Carlisle chose to stay home. Mindlessly, she took a bite of carrots and noticed her husband's face. He looked…bothered by what Alan just said. Carlisle would never say anything, Esme knew. He didn't have much of a temper and didn't like to cause problems with others. But Esme suddenly felt the need to defend her husband. "I'm glad you're happy here, Alan. But some men aren't joining the army because they want to, they are joining it because they feel they must. To support their family, among other things."
The look on Carlisle's face as Esme finished made everything worth it. All the pain that Esme was dealing with, knowing her husband would soon disappear. All the worry that she had over what the war would do to his mind. None of it mattered if Carlisle would look at her with the love and gratitude he was showing right now.
Alan looked back at Esme and then at Carlisle. "I understand that," he told them. "I just meant that I don't feel the need to join the army. And I was hoping Timmy would understand that too," he added looking at their youngest brother. "Carlisle, if you feel it's necessary, good for you. I hope you'll help men like my brother."
Everyone nodded and returned to eating. Camille, who was sixteen herself now and had just started wearing long dresses and corsets, still wanted her family to appreciate the lighter moments apparently. She told several jokes and everyone laughed. Esme admitted to herself the laughter felt good.
As they began eating their dessert of chocolate pudding, Edward started fussing. Esme moved to take care of him, but Mother beat her to it. "Let me get him while he's here, Esme," she insisted.
So Esme returned to her seat and enjoyed her mother's chocolate pudding with the rest of her family. She could do this. Tomorrow, her brother would get on the train for training camp in Texas. Two days later, Carlisle would do the same. And Esme would go on.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
OOOOOOOO
A few days later, Carlisle pulled into the busy train station. His medical bag, some clothing, toiletries, his Bible, a few other books, and some paper and pens were all packed in his suitcase. Carlisle stared at one of the trains for a few minutes as passengers climbed aboard. Some did so quietly, while others shouted to friends and relatives. Carlisle sighed, wishing they would be a bit quieter.
A couple of children cried as the black locomotive whistled and pulled away. Carlisle sighed, briefly wondering whether the pain Esme and Edward were sure to feel as his train disappeared was worth it. Was Carlisle making the right decision?
Of course you are, Carlisle thought to himself, remembering all the reasons he had decided to join the army. Finally, he turned to look at his wife and son, who were sitting next to him on the buggy. "Thank you for supporting me on this, Esme," he told her. He knew it was difficult for her, but Esme had come to understand why he needed to go. Carlisle hadn't forgotten how she'd defended his decision during dinner at her parents' house.
Esme smiled sadly at him. "I love you, Carlisle. And so does Edward."
Carlisle looked back at her, trying to memorize how she looked today, holding on to Edward. She was dressed in a simple green dress with no jewelry, since Edward played with necklaces, bracelets, and pins too much. Her hair was pinned up, making Esme look like a proper lady. Most importantly, she was holding Edward up so their baby could see Carlisle and everything else around them. They looked so wonderful together. Carlisle hoped he was strong enough to leave them. He had to be.
Finally Carlisle climbed out of the buggy and pulled his black suitcase out of the back. As he did so, heard a familiar voice call out, "Carlisle! My boy, I'm so proud of you."
As he turned to face his father, Carlisle revealed in finally hearing the words a part of him had longed to hear since he was fifteen years old. Father was finally proud of Carlisle. For the first time today, he felt good about joining the army. "Hello, Father. Thank you for coming to see me leave today."
Rev. Cullen nodded. "Of course. So when do you receive your uniform? I was hoping to see you in blue with your lieutenant's bar today."
Carlisle sighed. He didn't really care about becoming a lieutenant in the army, but Father seemed to think it was one of the best things about Carlisle joining. "I am supposed to receive it when I arrive at the base."
Rev. Cullen nodded. "Well, next time you visit home, you must wear your uniform."
Carlisle stayed quiet at that. He appreciated that he finally had his father's support in his life, but sometimes Father was still too controlling.
Rev. Cullen looked around the busy train station. Two new trains were loading right now. "When does your train leave Carlisle? You don't want to miss it."
Carlisle pulled out his silver pocket watch, which had been a gift from Esme, and checked the time, "I still have about five minutes, Father. Enough time to say goodbye."
Esme was standing nearby, still holding Edward as Carlisle talked to Father. He looked straight at them again. "Goodbye. Edward, you be good to your mother, all right?" He shook Edward's little hand gently.
Edward took that opportunity to grab Carlisle's finger and hold on. Then he smiled and replied "Gaaa." Carlisle sighed. How long would it be before Edward grabbed on to his finger again? Before he looked at him and babbled again? He wished he didn't have to leave while his son was so still a baby. How different would Edward be when he returned? How much would Carlisle miss? The first time Edward sat up on his own? The first time Edward crawled? Might Carlisle even miss his first word? Would Edward even recognize him when Carlisle finally returned?
Then Carlisle mentally shook himself. Training camp was only six weeks. There wasn't enough time for Edward to start crawling or talking while Carlisle was in Arizona. He would see his family again soon enough.
Esme smiled that sad smile she'd been giving him all morning. "I'll write to you, as soon as you give me your address. I'll tell you all about what Edward's doing."
Carlisle nodded and squeezed Esme's arm in gratitude. She was so good at understanding his worries and trying to help him. "And I'll write to you as soon as I arrive."
Rev. Cullen nodded. "Esme and Edward will be fine, Carlisle. They have her family to help. And I'm available if necessary, too. Now climb on the train, son. And remember. God is with you. He's supporting you as you train in Arizona and he'll support you in Europe, too."
Carlisle nodded, although he wished Father hadn't mentioned Europe right now. Finally, he picked up his suitcase and prepared to climb on the train that would take him to the training base in Arizona. As he handed the conductor his ticket he briefly turned back to see Father, Esme and Edward still looking at him. And somehow Carlisle knew they would be all right. After all, they had God to help them, too. Knowing that, Carlisle allowed himself to sit down on the train and wave goodbye one last time. Then the train whistled and pulled out of the station.
OOOOOOOOOOO
Two days later, at the Army base in Wilcox, Arizona, Carlisle finally sat down to write a letter to Esme. He yawned as he pulled out a pen and paper out of his suitcase. He was quite tired tonight, considering the new routine he'd been thrown into today. Plus, the train wasn't exactly the easiest place to sleep. But Carlisle had promised Esme he would write to her as soon as he was able.
June 8, 1917
Dear Esme,
I arrived at the base this morning and wrote this letter as soon as I was able. I'll mail it out as soon as possible so you will know my address.
The train was nice enough. Many of the other men on the train were on their way to military training, we all talked about how we felt about it. One man in particular talked to me quite a bit. His name was Jim. He was a couple of years younger than me, but was also married and had a baby. He also wished he didn't have to leave his son when the boy was so young. I would like it if Jim was in Wilcox with me, but it turns out he was headed for another base. Texas, I believe. Perhaps he'll become friends with your brother?
The food on the train was fine, although it wasn't anything close to your cooking, Esme. Dinner at the base was a little bit better. The cook here makes amazing rolls.
Tell Father I received my blue uniform and lieutenant's bar as soon as I arrived, just as I told him I would when you see him. General Marcus Benenati gave them to me when he first met with me. I don't see why that is so important. To me, being a good doctor is a lot more essential than what kind of uniform I wear or what title I have. But I'm sure Father would like to know.
The army had me report to the base hospital just after I talked to General Benenati. That pleased me because I feel comfortable in a hospital, as I'm sure you are aware. The base hospital is much bigger than the hospital in in Columbus, but it is still a hospital, complete with other doctors and nurses. It smells the same, too. Like fresh, clean soap and lots of lye.
One thing that is different at the base hospital how strict they are. Today I gave all the new soldiers physicals. Every appointment had to be fifteen minutes exactly. At home, when I see a patient, I have enough time to listen to them as they describe a problem before treating them. I speak to the patient about how they can help treat their condition. Here, I must give the patients physicals so fast there isn't really time to speak about concerns. I understand the army doesn't wish to waste time, but I would rather concentrate on the patient first. But I suppose I will need to become used to it. I will be here for a month and a half, after all.
The room I receive is small, but it is enough. It has a bed, a dresser, and a desk. I suppose one benefit of already having a lieutenant's rank is that I am not required to share. My room will stay silent, for the most part. You know how much I prefer quietness over noisy strangers. Although I wouldn't mind hearing your voice, or Edward's babble, of course.
I must become used to oil lambs instead of electricity again. It seems since the army is funded by the government, they receive technology last. This isn't a problem when I'm in my room by myself, but I wish I had more light in the hospital. At least it's summer, so there is usually plenty of sunlight.
I will write again soon. I hope to hear from you as well. Please tell me all about Edward, as you promised.
Love,
Carlisle
Carlisle rubbed his eyes and then folded the letter. He would mail it as soon as possible, but for now, he needed sleep.
Thank you for the reviews. I'm glad you like the beginning. Please keep them coming.
Here are your responses.
Thereisa Bella: Thank you. Hope you like what happens.
Percabeth: Thank you.
Carsme Moon Bane: Thank you. Here's your new chapter.
