I know you all are kind of upset that I didn't continue from where I left in DITD, but Atem's character development in this series is essential and I think to see how things progressed from his point of view is important. I'm sorry if any of you disagree. I hope you all enjoy nonetheless!


Undertow


All we do is fall down even though we try to stay afloat.

When I first found out, I walked out of the house and promised to leave her for good.

A few hours later, after my blood cooled and heart rate calmed, I came back.

After all, she was all I'd ever known.


----


"Atem?"

I look up from my spot on the couch.

"I'm in here, Anzu," I call out to her.

I lean back against the cushions and close my eyes.

I listen to her soft footsteps, as she walks in the direction of my voice.

I can hear her pause in the threshold of the living room.

I can feel her watching me.

"Hey," she says quietly. "You okay?"

I open my eyes and look at her.

She has pale skin, dark hair, and blue eyes.

She's pretty and smart.

She loves me.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Or, at least, that's what she tells me.

"Are you sure?" she asks, taking a step into the room. "You look...sad."

"I'm fine," I assure her. "I was just thinking."

She nods slightly. "About?"

You.

Yuugi.

Me.

Us.

Him.

Everything.

"Nothing."

"Oh..." She hesitates. "Atem -- "

"I don't want to talk about it, Anzu."

"I can see that." She straightens her back and frowns. "It's been almost a year, Atem."

"And?"

"And," she says, "I feel like nothing's changed. Why can't we just move on?"

I don't remember when I stood up, but suddenly I'm next to her.

"I'm sorry," I tell her. "Of course, if you never cheated on my in the first place, then we'd be fine and you wouldn't be waiting for me to forgive you."

"It was one time, Atem," she says and, when she blinks, a few tears fall down her cheek. "It was a mistake."

"It was one hell of a mistake."

"God, Atem, you're so stubborn."

"But I'm faithful."

"I'm trying to make this work," she says, holding her ground. "I love you, and I want to be with you. Why won't you just let us be happy?"

Because I want a reason to act like this.

I'm using you for your company, and love, and support.

And for that, I'm a horrible person.

But what you did to me, your betrayal, makes it easier on my conscience.

And I'll hold on to that for as long as I can.

"I just need time, Anzu..."

That's always my excuse.

A sigh escapes me.

I can't deal with this right now.

So, slowly, I walk around her and start to make my way out of the room.

Because I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I don't want to think about it.

I don't want to fight about it.

"I made a mistake, I understand that," she calls after me, and I pause in the hallway to listen. "But you need to realize that I'm not perfect, Atem. I'm not like Yuugi, so stop pretending that I am."

You're right.

I grab my coat off the hook above my head and walk out the front door.

You're not.

But I'll come back.

But I wish you were.

Because since I can never have Yuugi as my own, I'll have to settle for the next best thing.

I wish you were him.

And she knows this, too.


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