I yawned. I hated waking up in the morning, you never feel like you have enough energy to do anything! Glancing at the clock I saw that it was 7:30 AM. On a Saturday. I should have slept in but I couldn't make myself. I got up and pulled on sweats and a t-shirt and walked into the bathroom for a shower.
I stood and looked at myself in the mirror. You've really let yourself go Bella I thought to myself. My hair was limp and dull, and my eyes had large bags under them. This was due to the fact that I had been having trouble sleeping lately, and when I did sleep, my dreams were filled with topaz eyes, and I woke up screaming.
Worst of all about my appearance however, were my eyes. Edward always used to tell me he could get lost in my eyes. Now I one who looked lost. My eyes drooped with sadness, and no longer shined with happiness. Now all that was reflected in them were lost dreams and the absence of hope.
I took my shower and payed special attention to shampooing, I wanted my hair to at least look good even if the rest of me couldn't.
After my shower I went into my room and threw on random clothes. Who cared what I wore? It's not like anyone would actually notice. I walked over to the edge of my bed and sat down. The clock read 8:45 and I knew Charlie would have left for the station already. I was alone again.
I rested my head against the headboard on my bed and stared at the rocking chair in the corner of the room. The very same one that Edward used to sit in. That is, when he wasn't laying on the bed with me. Or when he wasn't out hunting.
I thought of how bright his eyes used to look when he had hunted. They were pools of liquid topaz and I could stare into them forever. I could almost feel his coldness as his arms surrounded me. It was always a comfort to me, no matter how cold it was outside. His marble arms were my safety. My shelter. My home.
My eyes started watering up again. Damn it. Not now… NOT NOW. I knew my efforts were wasted however, when the tears started flowing freely. I curled into the fetal position and rocked. "Come back Edward… please… just come back…" Sobs wracked my body. I couldn't think, I was flooded with memories.
It's better if we're not friends. Trust me.
"How old are you?"
"Seventeen," he answered promptly.
"And how long have you been seventeen?"
His lips twitched as he stared at the road. "A while,"
"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...," he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.
"What a stupid lamb," I sighed.
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
"Trust me"
I sobbed even harder at this last memory. Trust him… how could he ever doubt my trust in him? He was my rock, the one thing I could rely on. He would always keep me safe. Or so I thought, because now he was gone.
"It will be as if I'd never existed"
What do you think?? Continue? It'll get less depressing, I promise,
Xoxo
Edwardcullenxoxo
