Chapter 2:

Voldemort

Voldemort was having a great day. He just regained a body, had Potter at his mercy, and his Death Eaters were overjoyed he was back. He also already killed someone his first day back, which was a plus. He was in the graveyard where his filthy Muggle father was buried. The-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die was powerless against him. Still, Voldemort decided to humor the boy.

"You have been taught how to duel, Potter?" he asked him. "Bow to your death, Harry."

Harry refused, leading to Voldemort forcing him to.

"Now, boy, we shall duel." Voldemort knew Potter could never win. He was superior to Potter in every way. With a flick of his wand, he cast the Cruciatus Curse on the teenager. He expected to hear screams of agony and pain, but a very different sound filled the graveyard….

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…."

The whole graveyard was silent, except for the creepy disembodied voice. What was happening? Potter should be tortured right now. Instead, the boy looked as though he was trying hard not to laugh or cry. The Death Eaters were extremely confused.

"Voldemort…his real name is Taco Mickey….."

More silence. Voldemort was stunned for a moment, and then spoke up: "What?"

"Voldemort….his friends call him Mr. Voldy."

"I don't have any friends!"

"Voldemort….his only companion is Minerva McGonagall…"

"That's not true! Not at all! Who is this speaking?"

"Voldemort….his pet Nagini is really Minnie in Animagus form."

"No, she's not! Besides, McGonagall's form is a cat!"

"That's what you think…."

Voldemort was furious. Who dared to make a fool out of him? If he could see them, he'd Crucio their ars-

"Mickey and Minnie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I"

"CRUCIO! CRUCIO!" Voldemort was shooting random places in the air. His Death Eaters were slowly backing away. Harry couldn't resist laughing.

"You dare laugh at me, Potter? You think this is funny?"

"Moldyshorts… is not amused…..

"What in Merlin's name is Moldyshorts?"

"That's the nickname Minnie calls you."

"She doesn't call me anything! Potter, stop laughing, I will kill you after I kill this idiot! Why can't you say all this random garbage at him instead of me?"

"He already did me last year." Harry explained.

"THAT"S WHAT SHE SAID!"

Harry, Voldemort, and the Voice looked around. Lucius Malfoy was standing their, grinning sheepishly. "Sorry, couldn't resist…"

"Luscious Malfoy…is a pervert….'

"What, no I'm not! And it's Lucius, not Luscious."

I don't care about you right now, Luscious. I care about Taco Mickey."

"Don't call me that!" Voldemort shrieked. He shouted, "Avada Kedavra!" He missed the air and hit Harry instead. Luckily for Harry, he shouted "Expelliarmus!" at the same time. Their wands connected and suddenly, Cedric Diggory, a muggle man, and Harry's parents appeared.

"What's going on?" Voldemort yelled.

"Oh, Mickey, You so fine, you so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey!" The Voice screeched.

"Stop singing! I'm trying to kill someone here!"

"Harry, take my body back to Hogwarts." Ghost Cedric pleaded before disappearing.

The Voice stopped singing at that moment.

"U-No-Poo….killed Edward Cullen…."

"Who in Merlin's name is Edwar-

"U-No-Poo…..is envious of Eddie's sparkleness….."

"I'm not jealous of anything sparkly! I hate sparkles! Also, stop calling me U- No- Poo!"

"U-No-Poo….is going to get eaten by Harry Potter….."

"What the heck are you talking about, psycho?"

"You're made of macaroni, remember?"

Voldemort was stunned. This wasn't exactly how he imagined his great comeback. Harry took this to his advantage by slowly sneaking away with Cedric's/Edward Cullen's body to the Portkey. Unfortunately, Voldy noticed him and ran toward him, forgetting about magic for a second. He grabbed Harry by the arm and tried to drag Harry away. Harry retaliated by biting as hard as he could on Voldemort arm.

"OWWWW! WHAT THE #^&^%&#(&*%*$&*!"

"I told you he was going to eat you." The voice said cheerfully as Harry disappeared with Cedric's/Edward's body.

"#%%&^^%#$%^^$%$%!"

"Language, Taco Mickey, do you kiss your father with that mouth?"

"My father's dead! Dead! Because I killed him, hahaha! HAHAHAHAHA!" Voldemort started laughing and crying at the same time. The Death Eaters were super freaked out and Disapparated far, far, away.

"Now you know, the man of mystery, master of all names, Taco Mickey/Mr. Voldy/MoldyShorts/U-No-Poo, who's lover is Minnie McGonagall disguised as Nagini, who's made of macaroni and is the killer of Edward Cullen, you also never kisses his father.

A/N: THE END!

This is kinda really sad that I'm posting two of these in one day ,isn't it? Oh well.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J., Mickey belongs to Toni Basil.

Thank you reviewers! =D