Chapter 2
Lorelai did not hear the alarm the next morning; instead, she awoke to find Luke's lips pressed tightly against her own. She wrapped her arms around his neck to prevent him from breaking the kiss sooner than she wanted. Eventually, he pulled away. "I'm going to take a shower."
"Mind if I join you?"
"Not at all."
Luke walked downstairs forty-five minutes later to fix breakfast. Ellie already sat at the kitchen table when he entered the room. "It's about time, Daddy. I'm hungry."
"Sorry, honey, I was just getting ready. How about cinnamon oatmeal today?"
"Okay," Ellie agreed. Luke smiled, happy that his kids had inherited his eating habits.
"Me, too, Daddy," Will told him, climbing into a chair.
"How about I make it for everyone?"
"Make what for everyone?" Lorelai asked as she came into the kitchen. Reid toddled in front of her; when he saw his father, he immediately ran to him and wrapped his small arms as far around his calves as they would go. Taking the hint, Luke lifted him up, holding him in one arm as he searched for ingredients.
"Cinnamon oatmeal," Luke answered. Lorelai wrinkled her nose.
"Okay, that stuff looks and tastes like something I've already eaten."
"But it's good for you," Luke reminded her.
"That fact does not make me want to eat it any more."
"Fine. Then make your on breakfast."
"Poptarts it is." Lorelai poured herself a cup of coffee and grabbed a pack of Poptarts from the pantry. She took a seat at the table and quickly ate her Poptarts as Luke dished up oatmeal for the rest of the family. Once the kids had all begun to eat, Luke turned to his wife.
"Lorelai, I need to get to the diner.'
"Go ahead. I'll make sure the kids get to school in one piece."
"Thanks." He kissed his kids goodbye before giving Lorelai a long, lingering kiss. HE grinned as he pulled away. "I'll see you soon."
Lorelai walked into the diner later that day waving an envelope excitedly. "It came, Luke!" she called. "Hon, it came!"
"What came?" he inquired irritably. His stove had decided it did not actually want to cook at the desired temperature that day.
"The letter from Chilton! It came!"
"Really?" Luke suddenly forgot the stove and looked over her shoulder as she opened the letter. His eyes scanned the whole paper as she read it aloud.
"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Danes. We are pleased to inform you that a spot has opened up at Chilton Preparatory. Due to your vigorous pursuit of your daughter's enrollment—I offered to do the principal to get her in."
"You what?"
"Don't look so horrified, Luke. It was a joke. Trust me, I don't want to be doing anyone but you."
"Keep your voice down." Luke glanced around his relatively empty diner, noticing with relief that neither Babette nor Ms. Patty were there.
"We have five kids, Luke. I don't think anyone thinks we're celibate."
"We still don't have to talk about our sex life so loudly."
"Fine. Just let me finish the letter.. –and her excellent credentials, we have accepted Rory to Chilton Preparatory. She did it Luke! She got in!"
"I know." He hugged her tightly in excitement. "When are you going to tell her?"
"Tonight at the diner. But I want to pick something up first."
"What?"
"You'll see tonight." Lorelai kissed him. "Our little girl's going to Chilton."
"I know."
"And in three short years, she'll be at Harvard."
"I know." Luke hugged her tighter. She remained in his arms for a couple minutes, relaxing as she breathed in the comforting scent of his aftershave.
"Do you have any of that oatmeal left from this morning?"
"No. Why?"
"I'm hungry, and that stuff smelled pretty good."
"I thought you hated oatmeal."
"I hate what it looks like, but if I close my eyes, I could eat it."
"Well, I'll make you some. Just wait here." Luke extracted himself from her arms and walked back into the kitchen to make the desired breakfast.
Around 2:00 that afternoon, Lorelai was checking through the bookings at the front desk when the phone rang. "Independence Inn, Lorelai speaking."
"Hello, this is Ms. Jerkins, William's teacher," a pleasant female voice greeted. "There's been an incident."
"What happened? Is Will hurt?"
"No, Will's fine. I just need you to come down here."
"I'm on my way." Lorelai hung up the phone. "Michel, you're in charge of the front desk!" she called. The concierge sighed and switched places with her.
When Lorelai arrived at the school, Luke was waiting outside the principal's office pacing nervously. "What happened? Have you seen Will yet?" Lorelai asked.
"No. They won't tell me anything," Luke said as his pacing continued. Lorelai grabbed his hand to stop him; his nervous pacing only increased her anxiety. He gripped her hand tightly as they both watched the door. After a few minutes, the door opened, and the principal stepped out. She seemed exhausted but smiled anyway.
"Mr. and Mrs. Danes, if you'll step inside please." Both Luke and Lorelai nodded dumbly, unable to speak. They followed the principal into the office. with their hands still linked together. "Have a seat," the principal said, indicating two empty chairs. Luke and Lorelai sat down, glancing around the room. Ms. Jerkins sat at the side of the large desk wearing a blank expression. In the chair next to them, William was slumped over, staring glumly at his hands. "Ms. Jerkins, perhaps you'd like to explain why we're all here," the principal suggested.
"William hit another boy at recess today," Ms. Jerkins informed them.
"Will?" Lorelai asked. "But he never hits anyone."
"I know. That's what confused me. But I saw him hit this boy."
"Why?" Luke directed the question at his son. Will looked up at his father. Luke had always been able to convince his kids to tell him anything; this time was no different. Immediately, Will began to speak.
"Jamie called me stupid, so I told him my daddy said you shouldn't call anyone names. Then he told me his daddy said my daddy was stupid for not using a condom more. So I hit him. What's a condom, Daddy?"
Luke's ears went red. "We'll talk about that later, buddy."
"Mr. and Mrs. Danes, we cannot condone hitting no matter how justified the child feels in doing it. If William ever hits another student again, we will be forced to suspend him," the principal told them.
"We understand. Thank you." Luke shook the principal's hand and stood up. Will and Lorelai followed him out of the office, but as soon as they were out in the hallway, Will bounced ahead, clearly not bothered by his stint in the principal's office. "I don't know whether to punish him or praise him," Luke told her. "Honestly, in this situation, I would've done the exact same thing he did."
"I know, hon. I wonder who the kid's father is. Obviously, he's not getting any or he wouldn't be so bitter about the whole condom issue."
"Lorelai, please, let's not discuss this."
"Why not? You have nothing to complain about, mister. You're getting plenty. Need I remind you of yesterday afternoon. . . and last night. . . and this morning."
"Aw geez, Lorelai." Lorelai laughed at his discomfort.
"You wanna explain condoms to him or should I?" she questioned.
"Don't you think he's a little young?"
"I don't know. Maybe we should start the Trojan man jokes early. 'Cause if he's anything like his day, he'll need plenty of condoms soon enough."
"He's six, Lorelai."
"Fine. But what about Ellie? She's nine. That's about the age when we told Emma and Rory about the birds and the bees."
"We'll talk about this later."
Since it was Caesar's night to close, the Danes family ate dinner at home. When Luke came home at 6:00, Lorelai called Rory into the kitchen. "Rory, come here. Your father and I have a surprise for you!"
In no time, Rory was standing beside her mother expectantly. "What is it?"
"Here." Lorelai handed Rory a gift bag, and Rory pulled a plaid skirt from inside.
"I'm going to be in a Britney Spears video?" Rory wondered.
"No, you're going to Chilton," Lorelai revealed, unable to keep it to herself any longer. Rory's eyes widened in excitement.
"Really? When do I start? Did you get a new supply list? How about a list of books I should read or assignments I need to complete? I mean, I'm sure I'm already behind, so I'll have to spend my weekend catching up, and-"
"Rory, breathe," Lorelai commanded. "You don't have to do everything right this second. Just calm down and let the fact that you are now a private school girl soak in." Rory nodded and looked back at the skirt, still wearing a wide grin.
"I'm going to Chilton," she breathed, loving the sound of the words as they came out of her mouth. "I'm going to Chilton."
"Since we have so much to celebrate, I thought we'd have a celebratory dinner tonight," Luke told her. "Whatever you want."
"Thanks, Dad, you're the best!" Rory squealed, hugging him tightly.
For once, Emma started the conversation at dinner; usually, she was the quietest member of her family at mealtimes. "Dad, are you going to start jogging again in the mornings?" she wondered. "I've missed the last couple days."
"Tomorrow," Luke promised.
"Can I come, too?" Will asked.
"Of course," Luke replied.
"Da-ad," Emma whined. "Why do you have to let him come? He's so slow."
"He's six, Emma. His legs are shorter than yours. If you keep complaining, you won't be coming." Emma continued to pout; however, she pouted quietly to avoid angering her father. Ignoring this, Luke began to question his other children on the events of their day.
After dinner, the Danes family settled down to watch a movie. By the time it was over, Reid had fallen asleep curled up in his mother's lap while Will was asleep in his father's. Ellie lay against Luke, also fast asleep while Emma sat to her mother's right, semi-conscious. Rory, too, seemed to be having trouble keeping her eyes open; she would continuously nod off before realizing where she was and jerking awake again. Lorelai watched her with a smile. "I think someone needs to go to bed."
"I think five someone's need to go to bed," Luke added, looking at his kids.
Lorelai yawned widely, and he mirrored her actions. Lorelai laughed and remarked, "Make that seven someone's." She rose to her feet with Reid still sleeping soundly in her arms. Shifting him to one shoulder, she put her arm around her oldest daughter. "You're a private school girl," she whispered excitedly. "Only one more week of Stars Hollow High."
"I know. After this week, I won't have to worry about ever laying out clothes. It won't matter what other people think of you outfit because everybody will be wearing the same thing."
"You're the only teenager I know who likes the idea of a uniform."
"What can I say? I'm different."
"You most certainly are. And I love you for it."
"I love you, too, Mom."
After putting all the kids to bed, Lorelai lay in her own bed with the letter from Chilton held tightly in her hands. Her back was propped up on some pillows which lay against the headboard, and her legs lay straight out in front of her. As Lorelai read the fine print of the letter, the happiness which had filled her once she learned Rory had been accepted retreated slightly. "Luke, have you read this letter yet?" she called to her husband. He emerged from the bathroom wearing only a pair of loose cotton pants, his typical summertime pajamas.
"Most of it. Why?"
"Well, I'm guessing 'most of it' doesn't include the fine print." Lorelai held the letter in front of him and pointed to the paragraph she wanted him to read. He skimmed it quickly, and his eyes widened. Hardly daring to believe his eyes, he read it again, more carefully this time, and whistled under his breath. "That's a lot of money, Luke," Lorelai pointed out needlessly.
"It most certainly is," he agreed.
"And they want it by Monday. Not nearly enough time to pull a bank job."
"I've told you multiple times, the Explorer has no potential as a getaway vehicle."
"Then we'll just have to steal one."
"Of course. We've already robbed a bank. Why not add grand theft auto to the list, too?"
"Exactly. We'd be a regular Bonnie and Clyde."
"Which one would I be?"
"I don't know. You've always seemed more like a Clyde to me."
"Happy to hear that." They were silent for a moment as he played with a lock of her hair, twirling it around his finger in thought. "We need to think seriously about how we're going to pay for Chilton, though."
"I know, I know, I know. Sometimes I really hate money."
"I don't hate the money necessarily. I just hate the lack of it." Luke thought for a few seconds. "What about the college fund? There's enough money in that."
"Maybe for the first payment. But that money's supposed to be for college for our kids. We don't want to blow it all while Rory's still in high school. Besides, what happens once we have to pay the tuition for the second semester? That money won't last forever."
"I could finally turn that spare building next to the diner into apartments like I keep saying I'll do. We could use the income from those apartments to pay for Chilton."
"I can't ask you to do that. Maybe we could use the inn money."
"No way! You and Sookie have always wanted to open your own inn, and you need that money to do that. I'm not letting you give up on your dream."
"We wouldn't have to give it up completely. We'd just postpone fulfilling it."
"You might as well just say you're giving up. Look, there has to be a way of paying for Chilton that doesn't involve emptying our bank account."
Lorelai grimaced as an idea hit her. "I have a plan, but you probably won't like it," she told Luke. "However, it would take care of our money problem."
The following afternoon found Lorelai staring up a winding driveway at a large stone house. A cast iron gate blocked the entrance to the driveway, augmenting the house's resemblance to the old mansions seen in horror movies. Lorelai had had enough experience in the house to know that it was sometimes very horrific. She had thought she would never visit it voluntarily; however, she now stood at the end of the driveway without ever having been invited. 'This is for Rory,' she reminded herself as she began the seemingly interminable trek up the driveway. The front porch was flanked on either side by two trees which appeared to discourage any visitors from stepping onto the porch. 'For Rory,' Lorelai repeated to herself, stepping onto the uninviting porch and raising her hand to knock. She hesitated for a moment, unsure if she was ready to feed herself to the lions. But she wanted Rory to be happy, so she steeled herself and knocked.
A maid answered the door. Lorelai did not recognize her, but she did not expect to. Emily Gilmore changed maids on a weekly basis, and Lorelai had not visited since Easter. "Can I help you?" the maid asked.
"I'm here to see Emily Gilmore."
"May I ask your name, ma'am?"
"I'm her daughter."
"I was unaware Mrs. Gilmore had a daughter."
"Not surprising. Most people are." Before either one could continue the conversation, Emily herself walked into the room. Her shoulder-length hair was a grayish brown color suitable for her age. Her face showed no signs of wrinkles (a condition Lorelai suspected was not natural), and her penetrating blue eyes glared at Lorelai suspiciously.
"Lorelai? What are you doing here? It's not Christmas yet, is it?"
"Hello, Mom. Nice to see you, too."
"I'm sorry if you think I was rude, Lorelai, but it seems as if we only see you and your family on holidays. How is everyone?"
"They're fine, Mom."
"And Duke? Does he still work at that diner?" Lorelai could hear the contempt in her voice as she pronounced the word "diner." To Emily Gilmore, Luke's choice of profession was as undesirable as being a janitor.
"Well, what brings you here on a day when the banks are open?"
"I just have a. . . small favor to ask you, Mom." As Lorelai was about to continue, her father walked into the room. At 6'2", he seemed rather imposing to most people, including Lorelai. Unlike Emily, he did not attempt to cover his graying hair, so it had long since turned entirely silver. He was wearing his usual suit and bowtie, the necessary attire for a businessman in his world.
"Lorelai! Is it Easter already?"
"No, Dad. I just came to ask a favor."
Richard's eyes narrowed. "You need money."
"No. Well, yes, but it's not for me. Rory got into Chilton."
"Chilton?" Emily asked. "That's a great school. It's just down the road from here."
"I know. The thing is, they want her registration fee and first semester's tuition by Monday."
"So you need money," Richard repeated.
"Yes. But for Rory. Not me. And it will just be a loan. We'll pay you back."
"Doesn't this Larry guy make enough to support his family?" Emily wondered.
"Luke and I would prefer not to empty our savings."
"I'll get the checkbook," Richard announced.
"Wait." Emily held up a hand. "On one condition. I want a dinner."
"I'm sure that can be arranged. Luke's a great cook."
"No, I want a dinner with you and your family every Friday night."
"What?"
"I rarely ever see my own daughter or grandkids. So I want you to come to this house every Friday night for dinner. That's my condition."
"And if we don't come?"
"Then you don't get your money. If you show up Friday, you'll leave here with a check. If not, you'll have to find some other way to get money."
"Okay, Mom." Lorelai stood up.
"Nice to see you again, Lorelai,"
"You, too, Mom. Goodbye." As Lorelai left, a fierce war raged in her head. Spending every Friday night with her parents was akin to being drawn and quartered in Lorelai's opinion. Lorelai and Emily were polar opposites; they had not agreed on anything since Lorelai first began talking and refused to wear the dress her mother had picked out for her. On the other hand, Lorelai wanted Rory to have the best education possible, and Chilton provided her with that opportunity. She shook her head with a sigh. She needed to talk to Luke.
Lorelai stopped by Stars Hollow Elementary to pick up Will and Ellie on her way home. "How was today?" she asked as they climbed in the Explorer.
"I had to apologize to Jamie. But I had my fingers crossed the whole time!" Will announced proudly. Lorelai checked the mirror to make sure the kids were buckled before turning the key in the ignition. She smiled. Sometimes, Will acted just like her.
"Good for you. I've always thought making people apologize is stupid. If you don't mean it, it's not an apology."
"You shouldn't say that, Mommy. It's a bad word. Ms. Jerkins said so."
"What word?"
"Stupid. It's just like damn or shit or-"
"Will! Where did you hear those words?" Lorelai decided it would be wise to cut him off before he continued any further.
"From you and Daddy. And Mulder and Scully."
"Will, I told you no more X-files! Remember that time you couldn't sleep for a week because you thought the stretchy guy was going to crawl through your window and eat your liver? We had to cover up the slit under your door and your air vent."
"Duh! His fingers can fit through anything. But it's okay now. Daddy 'splained to me that all monsters are just made up."
"That's great, but you still shouldn't be repeating words you hear on that show, especially if you know they're bad. You don't want me to wash your mouth out with soap, do you? Because that's what happens to little boys who say bad words."
"Eww! Soap's gross!"
"Exactly. So watch your mouth."
"But you and Daddy say bad words all the time."
"We're older. We're allowed to." Lorelai and Luke had tried not to cuss around their kids, but they were prone to slip up quite often.
"I won the spelling bee," Ellie announced proudly, tired of the attention her brother was receiving. "I was the only one who could spell handkerchief. H-A-N-D-K-E-R-C-H-I-E-F. It's actually really easy once you know there's a hand in it."
"That's great!" Lorelai enthused. "Where'd you learn how to spell so well?" Lorelai was not sure if she could spell handkerchief. That's what word processors were for.
"Rory taught me."
"Of course." Rory was always eager to teach her younger siblings things she had learned in school. With some help from her parents, she had taught all her siblings to read when they were three, using mostly lessons she herself designed. As she grew older, she continued to give them lessons in every imaginable subject; Ellie and Will eagerly attended these lessons, but Emma was often too wrapped up in sports to care. Still, Lorelai was proud to say that all of her kids led their class.
"Yeah, and there's a district-wide spelling bee three weeks from now that I got to go to. And if I win that, I go to a state-wide one!"
"Wow. That would be neat."
"Yeah. I've got to get Rory to help me study."
Lorelai laughed at her daughter's excitement. "You do that, hon. Now, I have to finish up some stuff at the inn. Want to come to work with Mommy?"
"Could I help Sookie in the kitchen?" Will asked.
"You'll have to ask her." Lorelai pulled into a parking space at the inn and helped her rambunctious children out of the car. As they walked into the inn, Michel spotted the trio and immediately objected to their presence.
"I was not aware that this was a daycare, Lorelai," he told her.
"Michel, it's just Ellie and Will."
"What about the demon child? The blond one."
"Reid's with Luke today."
"Michel!" Ellie, who had just spotted the concierge, wrapped her arms around him.
"What is it doing, Lorelai?" Michel asked.
"She's just giving you a hug, Michel," Lorelai assured him.
"Well, get it off." As he said this, Ellie let go.
"Michel, play with me!" she entreated.
"I am not a babysitter," Michel grumbled.
"Give him the puppy dog eyes," Lorelai suggested softly. Ellie immediately let her bottom lip jut out and opened her eyes wider. Michel scoffed.
"That will not work," he said firmly.
"Michel, just watch her for a couple minutes while I take Will to see Sookie." Before Michel could object again, Lorelai turned and left. Ellie immediately grabbed Michel's hand and began to drag him toward the inn's collection of board games. Lorelai could hear him muttering words in French that she hoped Ellie would not repeat later. At least, not around anyone who spoke French.
Sookie was bustling around the kitchen as usual when Lorelai walked in carrying Will. "Oh good, you're here! Taste this." Sookie shoved a forkful of something into Lorelai's mouth. Lorelai chewed carefully and swallowed.
"Sookie, I told you to give up on the porkchops."
"But I'm so close!" she whined.
"You cook plenty of other things better than Luke. Just focus on that."
"So you're saying his porkchops are better than mine?"
Lorelai bit her lip to keep from making a sexual comment which was on the tip of her tongue. "No, hon, yours are just. . . different."
"Ooh! Maybe you could ask Luke what he puts in him."
"I tried. He won't tell me."
"Even when you use your. . . feminine powers of persuasion."
"Sookie, as your best friend, I beg you to please give up this porkchop frenzy."
"I guess." Sookie looked up at her and noticed William for the first time. "Do I get a helper today?" she wondered.
"If you'll have him."
"Of course I'll have him. Come here, buddy. You can help stir this sauce." Will happily slid down from his mother's arms and followed Sookie to the stove.
An hour later, Lorelai sat at the desk sifting through the inn's financial records. Michel had left to go home after only fifteen minutes of Scrabble, so Ellie was perched on a stool beside her mother reading through a book entitled Commonly Misspelled Words in the English Language. The phone rang and Ellie immediately reached for it. "Independence Inn. How may I help you?" she greeted. She was silent for a minute before holding the phone out to her mother. "It's Daddy. He wants to talk to you." Puzzled, Lorelai took the phone as Ellie went back to her book.
"Hey hon. What's up?" Lorelai questioned.
"I see you're breaking child labor laws again," Luke quipped.
"Yes, well, if anyone with a badge comes for me, just tell them I moved."
"I'll see what I can do. How's work been?"
"Good. Sookie's still trying to figure out what you put in your porkchops. She asked me if I thought your porkcops were better than hers."
Luke groaned. "Please tell me you made no reference to any part of my anatomy in response to that."
Lorelai giggled. "You'll be happy to know I held my tongue. Though I could have mentioned your large-"
"Lorelai, please!" Luke looked nervously around the diner as if someone sitting there could hear Lorelai's end of the conversation.
"Lighten up, Luke. You were perfectly fine with this last week!"
"I was not perfectly fine with it! You shanghai'd me."
"And you enjoyed it."
"No, I didn't."
"Only because Kirk overheard. I'm pretty sure you enjoyed it up until that point."
"Maybe I did. But our daughter is sitting right there with you, and we are not having phone. . . that with her there."
"Sex isn't a bad word, Luke."
"It is in this town where as soon as I say it, everybody starts listening to my conversation."
Lorelai turned her back to Ellie and said in a low, suggestive voice, "You know, I could always ask Ellie to leave for a bit. We never really did finish up last week's conversation because of Kirk."
"I'm hanging up now."
"No, wait, Luke! I'm sorry. No more comments, I promise. What did you call about?"
"The diner's pretty swamped right now. I was just wondering if you could pick up Emma today."
"No problem. Is Rory with you?"
"Unless she's invisible, she's not here either. I wouldn't worry though. She's probably off reading somewhere. You know how she is with her books."
"Maybe she's reading something by Wells."
"Or Ellison. It's really confusing to have two books with the same title. Isn't that against copyright laws or something?"
"I really don't know. I think one of them has a the or something. Anyway, I have to go. Love you."
"Love you, too. And Luke? Imagine my hands traveling-"
"Goodbye, Lorelai." Lorelai heard the click of the phone as he hung up. As she placed the phone back in its cradle, Ellie held her book out to Lorelai.
"Quiz me, Mom!" she begged. Shaking her head, Lorelai took the book from Ellie. Despite her assurance to Luke, Lorelai was worried about Rory. Rory always went straight to either the diner or the inn after school It was not like her to deviate from her normal schedule, yet she had. Lorelai could not help but wonder if something had happened to her.
