Their Side of It: The Rathalos

Wooow. Okay, so this hasn't been updated in like, a year. Maybe less. I'm too lazy to check the dates. But seriously, it's because I have the attention span of a hamster. I haven't played MH3 in a while, either. Although I was online not too long ago... Hm. Anyway, before I bore you to death, I better start this. But please note all of this is ad-libbed, and I promise to use less caps lock abuse in this one.

Since the Rathalos is less crucial to the plot of Monster Hunter, this chapter is sure to be shorter than the Lagiacrus one. And I'm hoping for more of logic humour than 'cabana girl' accent, caps lock, 'oh-no-she-didn't' stuff. I dunno. I'm lacking motivation. My life...it's being consumed...by drawing, school, and Soul Eater. God, the intro is going to be longer than the story at this rate.

Pff, I started writing this chapter like, 5 months ago. Then I forgot about it. Hey look, now I'm working on it again.

I finally got my hands on MHFU, so expect me to stray from the MH Tri...in a year or so, when I write another chapter maybe. Sorry if this chapter isn't as funny! D:

So, I think the reason you're trying to kill me is because I've been burning a few towns down, eating a few people...But hey, monsters need hobbies to! Maybe a few people get caught in the crossfire, but you're overpopulated anyways. Hey, I'm doing the species a favor, dammit! Weeding out the weak and all that. It's natural selection! I'm nature, and I select which places I burn! You're fighting mother nature here. You know what happens then? You lose.

Anyway, as I fly happily around my volcano, eating aptonoth and leaving everyone well enough alone for the time being, some tiny little hunter comes running across the rocks. How that hunter got there, and how they survive standing two feet away from lava, I don't know. And really, I don't think drinking some ice water would save you either...weird. Quite frankly, I'm offended. They think they can run into my home, ready to kill me for doing my natural duty! I think they should learn to appreciate me and give me flowers, or food. Mm, food. That sounds nice. Well, now I'm just hungry. And after spending a little while kicking this hunter's bipedal ass, (Despite the fact that I'm a biped too, her ass was much lamer than mine. Rathian tell me my ass is hot all the time. Speaking of Rathian, I haven't been seeing many of them around lately. Huh. I wonder why.) Whoa. Lost my train of thought. Backread, backread, oh! I remember now. I was hungry. Right. SO! I figure chewing an arm of the hunter is two birds, one stone! I get to eat, and they get...one less arm.

Plan decided, I fly up into the air, and before the hunter can blink, I'm standing on top of her. But before I can even get one bite in, she throws a load of crap in my face! Literally! Who does that? That's just...not even cool! That's just asking to get Hepatitis or an infection. My eyes and full of what I guess to be Aptonoth poop, (Talk about a full-circle slap in the face. Owch.) I think maybe a bit of flying around will help get rid of the smell. While the hunter pokes my feet with her sword, which is a minor inconvenience, I get off the ground and fly up into the volcano. My idea worked, because I'm awesome. But, that annoying hunter decides to come running after me.

I really can't understand why she'd come running up into the heart of an active volcano, but whatever. I was just about to fly up, and sink my deadly awesome poison claws into her, when I hear a huge roar, and a massive green beast comes out of the ground!

Great, just when I didn't want it to show up, the Deviljho decides to drop by and say hi. I thought he had moved on to the Tundra. Guess he ate all the Popo. Either way, he's not going to stop me from killing the pest. Resuming the fight, I use my most powerful attack; I run at her, knock her down, and right as she's about to get up, I do it again! Ha! She keeps falling down! The Jho is trying to kill her too, it seems. Which is nice for me! ...Until he slams right into me, breaking my beautiful crest of scales. That asshole!

"Hey, whose side are you on!" I roar at him, but as I'm distracted, the hunter manages to cut off my tail! That hurts! A lot! But, at least mine can't be cut off twice, unlike the Lagiacrus. Poor bastard. So now, I'm pissed. I turn around, roar in her face, and take off, hitting her with a fireball as I go jump into the air.

I fail to notice, however, the Deviljho has been drooling for a while. I do notice, however, when he starts to chew on my tail! "Seriously!" I fly straight at him, seeking revenge for my beautiful tail. We tussle a bit, I hit him with a fireball, he bites me and whatever, when I turn around and notice the hunter is gone! Where did she go? The Deviljho isn't done with me, apparently, and comes charging after me. I want to kick his ass back to the Tundra, but I don't think my blood pressure could handle that. What would be more embarrassing than dying of a heart attack while fighting a human? No thank you. It's not worth it, so I fly up and leave that area. I look down, trying to find the hunter, because I'm not done with her. Eventually, I find her kneeling in a pool of water. Bathing on the hunt? At least she's cleanly. I land, and the fight resumes! Gasp!

...But she's just standing around like an idiot. That pisses me off! Is she mocking me? She is! Bitch! She lobs something at me, and suddenly, I have a bright pink spot on my face! That smells like elderberries! Gross, pink is such an unmanly color! Oh, now she's done it. I run at her, planning on knocking her down again and again, when suddenly my whole body is paralyzed. I can't move at all, when she starts throwing things at me again. And suddenly, I feel...really sleepy...I yawn, and fall down to sleep, having dreams of chasing hunters and flying around the universe, with rainbows trailing from my wings. A cat with a pop tart for a body flies by, and I chase it around Pluto, before I become King of that planet with the blue people... Ah...

Guess where I live now? In a pen. And sometimes they let me out to fight hunters. Great.

A/N: That concludes it. I puttered out towards the end, so the final sentence kinda sucks. Haha. Anyway, if anyone wants to play MH3 with me online, look me up! My character name is Lynnay, and my code is QAYZME. I have Wii Speak, too. (I bought my headset like, a month ago, and I have yet to use it once. D: )