Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Kishimoto is the man with the master plan.


Deep in the forest, a large caravan was being dragged through the lush woods by two horses, guided by the driver. The forest was quiet, veiled in an atmosphere that held both serenity and secrecy. Rays of sunlight pierced through the thicket of leaves and tree barks, illuminating the grass and grounded out path. It was a quiet ride, one that the villagers riding were grateful for.

Forests, like this one in particular, weren't very safe to travel in. Thieves and bandits of all kinds lurked amongst the trees and bushes, making for very good hiding spots. Knowing this, the man riding the carriage was on full alert, keeping an eye out for any bandits. Hopefully, he and the other riders of the caravan could avoid getting attack.

Unfortunately for them, no such luck.

CHING! CHING!

Two long daggers were tossed past the horses' faces, causing them to reel back and stop. The rider almost fell off his seat, staring at the man standing on top of a high tree trunk. His jaw dropped upon realization, petrified at the sight of the attacker. The wide variety of blades and weapons on his person and the dark eyes that matched the person's cold expression, the man knew who the intruder was. "Y-y-you're…him! The infamous weapon bandit!"

The renowned weapon master smirked wickedly. "In the flesh…"

At another location within the same forest, Naruto finally emerged out of the long tunnel, making it to sunlight. "Finally! Fresh air!" Stretching, he took a deep breath and relished in the scent of forest. Once he finished, he glanced back at the cave. It was almost tempting him to run back to his village. But he realized that was the last thing he should do at the moment. He had to move forward, and while at it, explore this new and foreign world he stumbled into. "Come to think of it no one from the village was allowed to venture into the outside world unless they got special permission from the old geezer, hmph, it's not so bad. Looks normal to me." Upon finishing that sentence, Naruto noticed something particularly odd.

When did it turn into nighttime so fast?

'Wait a second…that isn't nightfall…it's a shadow…!'

HISS…

"Eep.,.!" With tensed shoulders, Naruto slowly turned around, his eyes wide with alarm. He paled upon sighting the cause of the large shadow. The giant creature had light grey skin with dark spots adorning its reptilian hide.

It was a giant python!

The snake hissed venomously, its forked tongue slipping in and out rapidly. It was clear that the snake was very hungry, and had its yellow eyes set on Naruto for lunch. The snake lunged at Naruto, planning on devouring him in one bite.

"Yipe!" Naruto jumped to the side in a roll, dodging the lethal lunge attack from the snake. The snake crashed into the cavern wall, getting its head stuck in the entrance. Seeing this opportunity, Naruto did what any sane man would do.

Run for his life.

"What the hell is with this forest!?" Naruto shouted, sprinting for his young life.

After a few minutes of fear-powered running, Naruto took a break, panting hard. "Phew! I should've lost that overgrown snake back that. Just what the hell was that anyway? That creature had to be over 100ft long!" At that point, Naruto was reminded of a very important fact. "Speaking of creatures, that damned fox is still somewhere inside me. But where…?" Naruto made a few guesses as to where the Kyuubi would be hiding. Lifting up his shirt, his first guess was correct. There was a series of patterns, along with a circle traced over his stomach. Given he never had it until today, that had to be where Kyuubi was. "I wonder…" Naruto took a guess, thinking that if Kyuubi was living inside him, then it must be still alive. "Hey, stupid fox, are you in there?" Naruto poked at the circle of his stomach, feeling odd that he was talking to his stomach. He didn't receive a response. However, he felt a pulse of strange energy emanating from it. That was a clue for Naruto. "I'm talking to you, now speak up! I know you're there!"

"…Damn, I was hoping to avoid speaking to you until I found a way out of this infernal prison." Kyuubi snarled, reasonably annoyed.

"I'm not letting you off that easy! You freakin' ruined my life and had me cast out of my village! I'm gonna make you take responsibility whether you like it or not!"

Kyuubi's anger flared at those words. "I ruined YOUR life!? Try getting sucked into some goddamned idiot's goddamned stomach! Why don't you take responsibility for your own actions, you imbecile!"

"Don't try to blame this on me! If you hadn't come to my village trying to blow the crap out of everything, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"This mess IS your fault! You should've just either run away or let yourself be killed by me!"

Naruto tossed his stomach a look of incredibility. "And you call me an imbecile!? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"

"Not nearly as dumb as someone forgetting the seals for his own jutsu! Congratulations, you fail as a human being!"

"Dammit, you're starting to really piss me off, you stupid fox!" Naruto growled, crossing his arms.

"Should I ever get free, the first thing I'm going to do is eat you. That way, you'll know what it feels like to be trapped inside someone's stomach!"

"Not before I kick your annoying ass back to the hellhole you came from!" Naruto snapped back, huffing in annoyance. He had a feeling the demon fox was going to bother him for the rest of his adventures. 'Hmm…according to the voice that talked to be earlier, I should probably start heading north. I still find that freakishly weird, but with nowhere else to go, I might as well take the advice. Now let's see…' Glancing at the sun, Naruto put his survival training to the test, trying to determine the direction north was in. 'If I remembered correctly, Iruka-sensei told me some sort of rhyme to help me remember. I think it was…sun rises west, sets east…and from the way it looks, the sun will set in a few hours. Okay, so that means that direction is north! Cool!' With the direction set, Naruto took off for north.

Several hours later…

Naruto let out an exasperated sigh, feeling more and more tired by the minute. It was dusk, and nightfall would soon be approaching. As he continued walking, he couldn't help but feel odd. "Strange…I sorta have the feeling like I'm lost."

"Gee, I don't know, could the reason be because YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE!?" Kyuubi roared, his patience running out.

"Hmph, no need to point it out like that. Like you could do any better."

"I can. For example, I know for a fact you spent the last 5 hours traveling south this whole time."

"What are you talking about? I've been traveling north for sure!"

Kyuubi groaned irritably. "Since your puny mind can't comprehend it, I'll remind you. That stupid human rhyme you've been thinking previously was supposed to be 'The sun rises east, sets west'. Of course I don't expect you to know that. Hell, I don't expect you to know anything!"

Naruto spent a minute thinking on the Kyuubi's corrected quote. "Oh…oh yeah! That's what it was!" As he started thinking about it more, his eyebrow twitched angrily. "Say Kyuubi…if you already knew which direction was correct…why didn't you tell me!?"

The demon fox huffed defiantly. "What, and actually help you after destroying my life? I'll pass. I'm going to make every one of my moments spent making your life as miserable as mine!"

"Your constant complaining is doing a damn good job." Naruto rubbed his temples, getting a headache from the nine-tailed fox.

"Stop right there, young traveler!" A voice shouted, echoing from all directions. Naruto stopped and started searching the area with his eyes, hoping to find the owner of the voice.

"It was foolhardy for someone so young to travel in the Forest of Death by himself." Another voice spoke, having the same echoing effect.

"Who's there!? Cut the crap and come out!" Naruto demanded, not in the mood for taunting.

"Don't worry, you'll mark your words soon enough, young one." A third voice promised, chuckling darkly.

"You have insulted us, young boy! Prepare to face the wrath of…" From the tops of the trees, three men appeared out of the blue, doing flips and random acts of movements and aerobics from three different sides surrounding Naruto. They assembled in front of Naruto, striking an unorthodox pose. The man on the left knelt on one knee, his straightened and aiming down at an angle. Another man on the opposite side mirrored the action, forming what looked like the letter M with the other man. Standing on their shoulders was someone who was apparently the leader, sticking his index finger at Naruto boldly. All three were dressed in the same clothing, consisting of light metal armor, chain mail underneath, brown thin pants and worn shoes. "The great Moya Bandits!" A small explosion of fireworks lit up the background, decorating their entrance with colorful explosions.

There was a long period of silence, followed by a crow that happened to be passing by.

Aho…! Aho…!

Naruto stared speechlessly at the trio, tossing them a look of what wasn't admiration, but sheer stupidity. 'I take back what I said earlier. This world is full of freaks…!' Kyuubi couldn't agree more.

"You see that, Aniki? He has a look of fear on his face! We must've petrified him with our superior entrance to battle!" The man on the bottom left said.

The man known simply as Aniki laughed with delight. "But of course! Who doesn't fear us, the great Moya Bandits?"

"Uh…could you guys, like, go bother someone else? I'm sorta trying to go somewhere." Naruto requested. 'Anywhere that doesn't reek with moron would be fine.'

"But of course! We may be bandits, but we are humble bandits! We will let you go, but only if you give us all of your goods!" Aniki pointed to the backpack Naruto was carrying.

Naruto sighed. The first group of human beings he had to come across was a bunch of weirdoes. What's worse was the fact he had no choice but to fight them. "If that's the way you want it, you got yourself a fight!" Naruto dropped his heavy, brown backpack on the ground, taking a defensive stance against the Moya Bandits. "Get ready to get your asses handed to you by a ninja!"

"Hm…?" The trio blinked several times, swearing they misheard him. "Boy…did you just say…that you're a ninja?"

"That's right! What of it?" Naruto gritted his teeth, ready to move at any time.

Moya Bandit no.1, the man on the left, gasped in horror. "Oh no, not a ninja!"

Moya Bandit no.2, the one on the right, stepped back with a look of terror on his face. "What shall we do, Aniki? We're actually facing a ninja!"

"W-we should just run away! Maybe then, we'll see another day!" Aniki suggested, sweating fearfully.

"…Wha?" Naruto blinked, not knowing what was so strange about being a ninja. A few seconds later, he found his answer.

He got it in the form of incessant laughter.

"HAHAHAHA! You hear that Aniki? He's a ninja! What a riot!" Moya 1 chuckled, clutching his sides.

"Maybe he's going to pull a rabbit out of a hat, or make himself disappear!" Aniki joked, making him and his followers laugh harder.

'These bastards…! They're mocking me!' Naruto growled mentally, furious with the disrespect. "I'll show you what's funny! Eat this!" He placed his hands together, creating a single seal.

Transform!

POOF!

"Hm?" The three bandits stopped laughing to notice a poof of smoke where Naruto once was. They leaned forward, curious to see what the boy was doing. What appeared out of the mist was beyond what they expected.

Standing in Naruto's place was a female version of himself, his only clothes being the small bits of smoke that covered very small parts of his chest and lower area. "How do you like my Sexy Jutsu, boys?" Naruto winked at them, standing in a sexy pose.

"W…w…w-w-WAAAAA!!" The three bandits were propelled out of the area by the strong burst of blood shooting out of their noses, fleeing the battlefield.

Canceling the technique, Naruto returned to his normal self, grinning widely. "Hehehe, Sexy Jutsu never fails to get the job done."

The Kyuubi, being an ancient beast of destruction, has seen many things in his lifetime. But never, did he meet a human-no, a being dumb enough to invent one of the most useless techniques ever to be created. He feared to know where the boy got the idea for such a thing. There was only one thing he could say that would match what he was feeling about the boy. "…Your idiocy frightens me…"

Naruto scratched his head, beginning to feel annoyed again. "Damn. Thanks to those idiots, its nighttime now, and I haven't made any progress."

"On the contrary, you've made great progress. You have proven to me that you're the most idiotic human in existence." Kyuubi quipped.

"Shut it, Kyuubi." Naruto soon began setting up camp, knowing how dangerous it would be to tread through such a dangerous forest during nightfall. It would be hell if he encountered that snake again.

A good distance away from Naruto's location, the Moya Bandits sulked in depression, tissues stuffed into their noses. They sat in a circle, releasing sighs every now and then. "I feel so ashamed, Aniki. I was tricked by that kid…with his Sexy whatever-it-was-called." Moya no.1 groaned.

"I too was taken by surprise. That damn kid tricked us, making fools of us all."

"What I don't get is what the kid was talking about earlier. Ninjas? Hah! There's no such thing in today's world! They're only in myths and legends, a childish fantasy." Aniki huffed, both confused and irritated.

"Some kid claimed he was a ninja, you say?" A voice asked, curious.

The Moya Bandits turned and gasped at the sight of the intruder. Aniki paled, filled with fear. "Y-y-you're…"

The person crouched in front of them, causing them to jump back. A sinister smile played on that person's lips. "Tell me more…"

Roughly two hours later, Naruto, without the help of the world's most annoying demon teasing him, finished setting up his camp. A fire pit was created, lighting up Naruto's small camp area. The said boy sat cross legged against a thick tree, his backpack sitting in front of him. He never had the chance to take a look, and until now, didn't think too much of it. But now, he was curious. Leaning towards his backpack, he began looking through his belongings. The first few things were of no surprise since it was packed by his sensei; books. There were only five books inside. Naruto was surprised, figuring there would be a million books inside. Glancing over them, the books were very thick, each having different titles, though three of them varying in similarity: Ninja Techniques: Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, and Genjutsu. The fourth book was a survivor's guidebook, which Naruto figured he would need later. The last book, Naruto had to admit, was an odd choice. It read: History of Konoha, village hidden in the leaf. He was never one for history lessons. Did Iruka think he would be bored enough to read it? Chances were that would never happen. Naruto and books never got along very well, especially when Iruka would throw one at him to get his attention.

After placing the books to the side, Naruto filtered through the next set of items. There were assortments of kitchen utensils, which he would need while surviving on his own. There was a pot, a plate, and some spoons and forks. "Boring! Gimme some ramen and call it a day!" The boy felt almost depraved, not having his favorite meal anywhere nearby or in his backpack. He could only pray that this world he ventured into would have ramen stands. Speaking of meals, he could go for one right about now. Fishing some more, he discovered extra clothes, food seasoning, some kunai and shuriken for protection, some stamina-boosting soldier pills, water, and a compacted sleeping bag. With these items, he could probably last a good while, but certainly not forever. He would have to come across a town and stock up on extra supplies.

That seemed to be everything inside the backpack, which was a lot. Every pocket was filled, and everything inside the backpack was compacted for optimal fitting. No wonder it had been difficult to move around. Standing up, he felt his stomach rumble with hunger. "Man, I haven't eaten anything all day. I wonder if there's anything to eat here."

"You shoved me into your stomach. Isn't that enough, you gluttonous swine?" Kyuubi shot.

"Am I going to have to put up with this for the rest of my life? Probably." Naruto sighed.

Shuffle, shuffle…

'What was that?' Alerted by the almost unnoticed sound, Naruto started listening closely to the noise. It was higher up and resounding from the trees. Was someone trying to sneak up on him? "Show yourself!" Quickly, he grabbed a kunai from the weapon pouch attached to his pants and tossed it at the source. Whatever was there dodged the attack, confirming Naruto's suspicions.

"Are you the one who has been calling himself a ninja?" A voice said.

"What if I am? Who wants to know?" Naruto heard the sudden sound of something being thrown at him. Side stepping, he dodged a long knife, which stuck to the ground. 'Who the hell does this guy think he is attacking me?'

There was an amused chuckle from one of the trees. "How interesting. Ninjas, warriors possessing superhuman abilities and strengths, they can do anything from performing miracles of healing to controlling the very elements of nature. It's obvious something like that doesn't exist. What makes you think you're anything close to what the myths say?"

"What the hell are you talking about? I don't know about any of that stuff, but I am 100 percent ninja! If you want me to prove it, then come down here and show your face!"

"So be it." The person grunted, dropping down from above Naruto. The blonde looked up just in time to see someone flying towards him with a sword.

SLASH!

Naruto swiftly managed to backflip away from the slash, which cut deeply into the earth. Landing with a slide, he glared at his opponent. Now that the attacker was in the open, he could clearly see what he was facing against. Surprisingly, he was a young boy about Naruto's age, wearing a blue high collar t-shirt, a pair of white shorts, and blue sandals. His raven hair was as dark as his black eyes. What surprised Naruto the most was the boy's arsenal. There were knifes and throwing projectiles equipped onto his leg and white arm guards, two swords on his back and two latched onto his belt, and a giant shuriken on his back. It was safe to say this guy was fully armed and ready to battle. "Who are you, and what's up with all those weapons?"

"Hmph, you must've been living under a rock all your life. Makes sense with you trying to play ninja." The boy pointed his sword at Naruto, wearing a smooth smirk. "I'm the infamous weapon bandit, Uchiha Sasuke. Who are you?"

"The name's Uzumaki Naruto, the ninja that's about to kick your ass!" Naruto held his arms across his body, wielding a kunai in each hand.

"I see. Well then, by all means, show me what you're made of. Just don't be a bore and die too quickly. I get bored very easily." With that, Sasuke leapt into the air and at Naruto, who prepared to fight against Sasuke.


Perhaps I should explain as to way this chapter is ending early. I'm testing out a theory, since my updates have been taking longer and longer. Instead of trying to go for super long and awesome chapters, I'm gonna try out short and still awesome chapters. This way, I can go through the updates quicker and still get the point across. Really, it's either long and delayed, or shorter and quicker. I won't guarantee all chapters are this size, but I will try to keep them at reasonable length. I'll leave it up to you to decide. Please review and let me know if you like that idea and this chapter, which I hope you enjoy.