Chapter 2

Later that night, the Denver Games Expo was well underway, with much-awaited special guests ID Software, who were here because fans had bitched at them so much to come to Colorado, even though they'd already revealed the new Doom game in Dallas a week earlier. "Those lucky Texan sons-a-bitches at Quake-Kaaarn", everyone had thought, so Carmack gave in and decided to present the game a second time.

Many of the South Park kids were sat at home, excitedly watching the whole thing on TV. The Auditorium was crammed full of people chattering away, most likely about the event. When the lights dimmed and John Carmack walked on stage, there was a sea of cheers.

Two guys, Matt and Dillon, were chatting backstage over whether to use the Oculus Rift headset they had with them especially for this event. It was a little different to the usual version, it was an updated prototype.

"Are you really sure we should use this thing out there tonight?" queried Dillon. "It's not quite perfected, anything could go wrong, and we don't exactly want mass rioting this evening, do we?"

"Look", answered Matt. "There are about 2000 people in that auditorium. They all came to see a show. To see you play the new Doom. There are no alternative control methods for this gig, and I think leaving these guys hanging would more likely be the worst that could happen".

"Well, OK," Dillon spoke back. "But don't come running to me if this thing acts up and people get pissed at us." He walked out on stage to the player's seat and donned the headset.

John Carmack drew a breath and said "I hope you do all realise that you didn't need to constantly bombard us with requests for a show here, you could have just asked us nicely. Jesus, we'd have to be high not to present our shows at other venues apart from our own. We've been thinking about that a lot recently. Anyway...what's say we show you all the reason we're all here tonight?"

There was another bout of mass applause.

"Tonight", Carmack finished, "We present to you the game nearly 10 years in the making, being played by means of a truly special method. The newest prototype of the Oculus Rift!"

The curtains rose to reveal a huge screen. Dillon fired up the Oculus Rift and began playing the new Doom whilst everyone watched in amazement.

It all seemed to be going very well for the first few minutes. "Kickass!" exclaimed Butters, sat watching at his house. "Butters, watch your language!" his Dad called from upstairs. Really, his language? Yet he didn't mind his son watching footage of an M rated video game that's gory as hell.

But as things go in these sorts of scenarios, things don't always go to plan. And they certainly didn't a few minutes later.

Green sparks suddenly began to rise from the Oculus Rift. "What the hell's happening?!" cried Dillon. "Damn it Matt, you butthole!"

The sparks then blasted the screen and lit the whole thing up with green and red lightning, which conjoined with each other to open a demonic portal. The audience screamed in terror. So did Dillon, whos head was slowly being fried.

"I'm getting the hell out of here!" yelled John Carmack, making it off stage just in time, as the headset exploded and sent Dillon's brain matter all over the back of the stage. But there was worse to come.

A legion of Cacodemons, Zombies, Imps, Lost Souls and Barons of Hell arose from the portal. Everyone tried running from the auditorium, but many were gruesomely torn to shreds by the monsters.

Back in South Park, everyone watching the event on TV had just as much a reason to be afraid. "Oh, hamburgers!" shrieked Butters, flipping straight to the news channel, which, sure enough, presented the carnage unfolding at the event. The news anchor didn't even get a few words out before his head was ripped off and eaten by a Demon in front of the camera. Even more portals were seen to be opening outside the building the show took place in.

"Jesus Christ!" yelled Clyde, also watching at his house. He quickly made the decision that there was only one thing to do. "I gotta call Cartman, tell him what's happening!" he panicked, running upstairs to his room to change into Mosquito.

Later, at the Coon and Friends hideout in Cartman's basement, every member of Coon and Friends minus Toolshed were present for an emergency meeting. "Ok, you guys" began the Coon, "I'm super serial here, things are getting pretty fucked up right now. Whether we should blame the Jews, Mexicans or Hippies for all hell breaking loose doesn't matter right now. What matters is that we've had experience with this kind of thing before with the whole BP fiasco and Chtulu, and we can easily put those skills to good use to stop this bullcrap once again, and be back home for Terrance and Philip".

"You have no idea of what we're dealing with." said a gruff voice from the shadows. Mysterion entered the room.

"God damn it, Kenny, I thought I told you that you were out of Coon and Friends!" yelled the Coon.

"It's Mysterion!" corrected Mysterion, "and you actually do have absolutely no idea of what you're dealing with here. We could be killed easily, this won't be like with Chtulu. He bowed down to you and let you scratch his ballsack because he was a big pussy compared to these guys."

"AY, DON'T CALL CHTULU A PUSSY!" barked the Coon.

"Shut it, Cartman." snapped Mysterion. "Get it through your head. These are fictional monsters from a VIDEO GAME that have somehow made it into our world. They were programmed NOT to reason, but to tear you limb from limb, and their intentions won't change here. You're an idiot if you think we can face them without any heavy weaponry!"

"Not even Toolshed's power?" asked the Coon. "You're saying that not even his - then again, where the hell is he?"

"Oh crap, I totally forgot!" yelled Human Kite. "He's at Casa Bonita with Wendy! We have to get there before it's too late!"

"Wendy?!" spat the Coon. "Fuck Wendy".

"No, fuck YOU, fatass!" shouted Mysterion. "You're still pussyhurt over the fact that girl is a lot smarter than you, much stronger than you, and isn't a fat walking talking slab of shit. Hell, she's not even a guy, yet she's still got some huge balls compared to your minuscule Chinese pencil dick!"

The Coon's face went into disgruntlement and disgust. "Why don't you just feed her some yoghurt then?"

"Oh, it's on now, Eric!" Mysterion growled, raising his fists.

"Hey, you guys knock it off!" stepped in Tupperwear, preventing a fight from breaking out between the two boys. "We need to be together on this! And besides, Kyle's right. We have to get there to both of them right now!"