Our love's little infinity

Chapter 2: Dead

I am lying in my bed, sleeping, seven days after Gus and I finding out about our little infinity that is growing within me when my phone rings. I wake up and look at my phone to see that it is Gus' mum, I look at the clock at it tells me it is only three thirty in the morning. Gus is dead. That is all that is going through my head as I click on the answer call button. He must be, that is the only reason why his mother would call me at this time in the morning. I can already feel the tears fighting their way out of my eyes as I put my phone to me ear. "Hello." I say.

"Hazel. I'm so sorry, but, Gus, he's… he's dead." His mother cries from the other end of the line.

"I'm sorry too." I say as the tears start falling out of my eyes.

"He was unconscious for a few hours before he died." She cries, and I cry with her, just not as loud as she is. "You know, if you ever need anything you can always come round and we will help you." She says.

"Thank you." I say.

"No problem. Goodbye Hazel." She says.

"Goodbye." I say before hanging up the phone and putting it down before curling up into a ball, as well as I can anyway, and cry. I cry so loud that I'm not surprised if I have woken up my parents.

There is a knock on my door, but I don't reply, I don't say anything. My parents come in anyway and they walk over to me, perching on the edge of my bed, stroking my hair as I cry. They try to soothe me, but nothing is working. Nothing can work.

You know when you go into the ER and one of the first things they as you is how bad your pain is on a scale of one to ten. I have been asked this question many times. I remember this one day when I couldn't breathe and my chest felt like it was on fire, the flames licking the inside of my ribs, fighting for a way to burn out of my body. When the nurse asked me I couldn't speak so I held up nine fingers instead. Later the nurse came in and stroked my hand whilst saying "You know how I know you're a fighter? You called a ten a nine." She said. But that wasn't quite right. I called it a nine because I was saving my ten. And here it was; the great and terrible ten.

"Hazel, honey, it's going to be all right." I hear my mum say. But it's not going to be all right. The love of my life is dead. The father of my baby is dead.

"No, it's not." I tell my parents.

"Yes, it is. I promise." My dad says.

"You can't make promises you can't keep. You can't tell me everything is going to be all right when the love of my life is dead. The father of my child is dead." I yell before realising what I just said. I basically just told my parents that I'm pregnant.

"Hazel, what are you talking about?" My mum asks.

"I'm pregnant." I tell them, quietly this time.

"What? How can you be pregnant?" My dad asks.

"Gus and I had sex in Amsterdam, and now I am pregnant with his baby." I say.

"Hazel, how far along are you?" Mum asks.

"Five weeks. I found out a week ago, the day after his prefuneral. Gus knows, I told him after finding out myself. No one else does though. We wanted it to be our little secret for a little bit." I say as more tears fall out of my eyes. "I'm sorry." I tell them.

"Hazel, you have nothing to be sorry for." My dad says as he strokes my hair.

"I just yelled at you both." I say. "And I'm pregnant." I say.

"Hazel, you have just lost the person you loved. And it's understandable to want to have sex when you are both dying." My mum says.

"First, I love him, present tense. Second, I didn't even know he was dying when we had sex. It was after our date. We had sex because we love each other and we felt ready. And maybe on my part it was because I wanted to have sex before I died. Maybe it was the same on his part. I don't know." I tell them.

"Hazel, what are you going to do about the baby?" My mother asks.

"Are you suggesting that I get rid of it, because I'm not going to do that?" I tell them.

"Hazel, you have to think about it?" Mum says.

"I've already thought. I'm keeping my baby mum, whether you like it or not. I'm not killing Augustus' child, I'm not killing my child." I say.

"Hazel…" My mum starts but I cut her off.

"Mum, I love my baby, okay. I'm not going to get rid of it because I'm dying, or because you think I can't handle it. I don't care, I want to try and do something normal for once. I want my baby. Just let me try." I cry.

"Fine. I'll get you an appointment with Dr Maria so we can talk about this." My mum says before leaving the room. My dad stays with me though.

"Don't worry; she'll come around to the idea. I'm sorry, about Gus." My dad says.

"You don't have to be sorry." I say as more tears flow.

"Come here." My dad says as he holds his arms open for me. I crawl into them and let him embrace me as I cry into his t-shirt. As I cry I put a hand on my stomach and pray to whatever god is out there that my child will be all right, no matter what happens.

"I'm scared daddy." I cry.

"I know, but I'm here for you. I always will be. I promise." He says.

"Can you stay with me tonight?" I ask.

"Of course I can." He says. We lay down and I snuggle into his chest as he holds me. I cling to his shirt and cry. I keep crying until I finally go back to sleep. As I sleep I think about Gus and our baby and the life we could have had if it wasn't for cancer.

Hey guys, hope you liked it. Please review. I also want some more votes on her having a boy or a girl, and some names. I have a few for each gender but I want your ideas. Thanks for reading. Review.