Sports Centre: Animation Edition (BEST OF)!
Disclaimer: I do not own the following animes, cartoons, brand names, movies, and others that are about to be mentioned in this fanfic. Also, as well as Sports Centre.
(Video opens up with some highlight footage of sports events, and the theme song starts playing.)
Sonny (on V.O): Welcome to the special "Best Of" edition here on Sports Centre!
Kevin (on V.O.): We count down the Top Ten best moments on the S.C: Anime/Cartoon edition show!
Sonny (on V.O.): It's a "rock 'n' roll damnation" with some Guitar Hero competitions…
(Footage shows Naruto and Sasuke battling in a G.H. contest.)
Kevin (on V.O): But the action heats up with "nervous shakedowns"…
(The next highlight footage shows Deidara going insane as well as Gaara in a tag-team match of wrestling.)
Sonny (on V.O.): So, don't be a "fly on a wall"…
(A fly is indeed on a wall in a highlight part; the fly gets squished by Konohamaru, and Shino shows up weeping silently.)
Kevin (on V.O.): And be prepared to see this special episode of "S.C: A.E."!
Sonny (on V.O.): Sports Centre: Animation Edition starts now!
(As the highlight scenes are seen in quick succession, the S.C. Theme builds up to the point where it quickly ends and the video transition appears on the bottom, where the video is cut to where Kevin and Sunny are at.)
Kevin: Hello, fans of sports, and welcome to a special "Best Of!" edition here on Sports Centre: Animation Edition! After a lot of episodes full of hilarious, tragic, controversial, eventful, and other descriptions we can say of sports news and Top Tens, we thought it would be the best to create an episode commemorating the entire S.C: A.E. show just because of celebrating the good times we had.
Sonny: Kevin, I had never been in a "Best Of!" episode before, but now this is the first time I'm actually in this special kind of episode.
Kevin: Agreed. Boy, the first episode ever aired wasn't that much a long time ago, but it's still funny to watch.
Sonny: What about the time we invited your younger brother in an episode, but then we ran out of time?
Kevin: Oh, that is so priceless as of today. I had a fun time knocking his brains out with a chair.
Sonny: I like that moment too, you know. Remember that New Year's Eve episode we had done, until everything went chaos at the last minute?
Kevin: Yeah, I was hiding in a utility closet in the studio. Alright, enough remembering, we need to start the sports news before the commercial breaks start okay?
Sonny: Okay. Our top sports report came in, when Tyson from the Beyblade League recently retired. This shocked the world of Beyblade sports, since Tyson was a winner of many championships, and defeated many of the fiercest competitors ever faced.
Kevin: We have received breaking news that Scooby-Doo and the gang have mysteriously vanished over the Eastern seas! The gang of five were on their way to Russia, to solve a mystery of a hockey player's death. Unfortunately, the private jet they were flying disappeared in a big, thin, layer of fog and witnesses say they may have seen the plane fly over them. Police authorities and emergency crews are rushing over to the destination where the plane landed. The press does not know if any fatalities are there at this moment in time, and—I just got an update! There are no fatalities where the jet had crashed! All five people aboard are safe without any injury!
Sonny: Here is now the commercial break, stay tuned! Keep those hands on the remotes people!!
S.C. Announcer: This S.C. had been brought to you by Chef Boyardee, "Boy, this stuff is (BLEEP!!)" and by Home Depot. "You can do it, we can watch."
(A FEW 30-SECOND COMMERCIALS PLAY.)
Sonny: Welcome back sports fans, and as we said before…here is the Top Ten most memorable moments of S.C: A.E. starting from number ten…is my co-host Kevin arguing over the phone with his sports star brother, Paul over stupid matters. Let's play the video…
(Video plays to Sports Centre: Animation Edition #2, where the Kevin and Paul scenes are.)
Sonny: (to Kevin) Why is this embarrassing?
Kevin: Well, because we have never seen two men in the pair figure skating division, before or in sports history!
( RING RING RING RING! (x2) )
Sonny: Kevin, is that your phone? You have the worst ring tone ever…
Kevin: Please excuse me for one sec… (flips up cell phone and dials in) Hello? Paul? WHAT THE F--K? YOU'RE STUCK IN THE GOD DAMN TRAFFIC?!
(AT THE HIGHWAY)
Paul: Come on! Damn it, YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE, SO SHUT UP! YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THE GOD DAMN TRAFFIC AROUND HERE! THE F--K IS WRONG WITH YOU! (lowers cell phone for a moment) MOVE, DAMN IT! MOVE! (honks horn, then raises up cell phone to ear)
(AT THE STUDIO)
Kevin: WHAT THE F--K IS WRONG WITH ME?! WHAT THE F--K IS WRONG WITH YOU?! MY GOD, I HAVE NEVER…
(Scene skips to the end of Episode #2.)
Kevin: It's my brother…Paul!
Paul: Wassup, y'all?
Kevin: (Notices the time on the clock) UH-OH! That's all the time we have for now on Sports Centre!
Paul: WHAT THE F--K?!
(Kevin then smashes a chair on Paul's head. Paul is knocked out from the blow.)
(End of Video)
Sonny: That was one of thee most memorable and funniest moment in S.C: A.E. and we go down to number nine; the time we showed you guys the video of the infamous event, during baseball coverage of a game about Dr. Evil's rocket being shaped like a (BLEEP!). Here is the video!
(The video plays the footage.)
Military Officer: Sir, we have just picked up signal on the radar!
Commanding Officer: What is it, son?
Military Officer: Well, we have picked an object that sort of looks like a…
(SCENE CHANGE!)
Fighter Pilot 1: Dick, hey Dick! Look at the thing at your starboard!
Fighter Pilot 2: Oh my God!! That looks like a huge...
(SCENE CHANGE!!)
Women: Pecker!
Man: Ooh, where?!
Women: Wait a minute that is not a woodpecker! That looks like someone's…
(SCENE CHANGE!!)
Sergeant: Privates!! We have discovered an UFO! It has a long, smooth shaft complete with…
(SCENE CHANGE?!)
Umpire: 2 BALLS!! Hey, wait a minute! What's that? It looks like someone's…
(SCENE CHANGE!?)
Chinese Teacher: Wang! Pay attention!
Student: Sorry sir, I was distracted by a giant flying object that looks like somebody's…
(SCENE CHANGE?)
Country Singer: Willie, what's that in the sky?
Willie Nelson: Well to me, it looks like some guy's large…
(SCENE CHANGE??)
Commander Officer: Johnson! Get the horn on British Intelligence right away!
(End of Video)
Kevin: Whew! That one took about 45 seconds of my time! It's time to take a few commercial breaks, right now isn't it Sonny?
Sonny: Yeah! We'll be right back to the Top Ten with number eight, so stay tuned to Sports Centre: Animation Edition!
(A SERIES OF 30-SECOND COMMERCIALS PLAY.)
S.C. Announcer: This Sports Centre: Animation Edition is brought to you by…Ford F-Series. "Built for Weak"!
(The camera changes view to where Kevin is sitting.)
Kevin: Alright, we're back! We continue the Top Ten of the greatest, memorable moments here on Sports Centre: Animation Edition with number eight on the list. It was the infamous moment here on this show, when we've invited two special guests at one of the special episodes: Homer Simpson and Uzumaki Naruto. Unfortunately, a situation turned worse had happened when we invited them. Homer Simpson—with the addiction to beer, donuts, and TV—had savagely attacked us on live TV when there were no Duff, donuts, and cable TV available. All of a sudden, it got extremely worse when an angry mob of sports fans had beaten us up, very rough and hard because of the technical difficulty that happened when Homer knocked the lights out of us. Here is the clip, in case if you had a memory black out.
(Video plays to Sports Centre: Animation Edition #5, where the infamous special guest segment was caught on tape.)
Homer: Where are the donuts?
Kevin: What donuts?…
Sonny: Yeah, what donuts?…
Homer: I thought I get free donuts if I come here as a special guest.
Kevin & Sonny: Oh, the donuts. Yeah umm about the donuts, we got hungry so we ate the assorted donut box from Tim Horton's.
Homer: Okay, then where is the free Duff and Cable T.V.?
Sonny: About that we also drank the beer last night and we cut the television service. So we have no donuts, no Duff and no Cable.
Homer: (slowly going mad) No beer, no donuts, and no T.V., make Homer go something something…
Naruto: Really crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!! AAAHHHHHHAHAHA! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...
Kevin & Sonny: (both gulp nervously) We'll be back after thissssssssss!!... (Homer charges and attacks them and the others.)
(Video is then cut off to static and the sports fans go…CRAZY!! Sports fans now go outside of the studio where Sports Centre is filmed and become an angry mob as they beat Kevin and Sonny up. They are both hospitalized…)
(Video ends there.)
Kevin: Man that was a weird, crazy, insane moment I've ever had. Even I had rough times spending the time at the hospital, and thank goodness the hospital was a block away from the location of the studio! Sonny, do you have the number seven clip ready?
Sonny: Yes, I have! Here's the number seven for you folks out there! Number seven is when we've encountered the Y2K bug on our S.C: A.E. video/audio equipment. Apparently, some idiot from the technical specialists for equipment department did not take a re-check on the technology and as a result, this happened.
(Video plays footage from Sports Centre: Animation Edition #3, where it happened at the end.)
Sonny: And that's it for the Top Ten! We only have a few minutes left on the clock, so tune in tomorrow for the New Year's Day episode of Sports Centre! Before we would like to go, I have just to say with the New Year approaching, we are confident that our studio equipment is fully compliant within the Y2K standards.
Kevin: Sonny, I don't think the equipment's Y2K standard compliant…
Sonny: What do you mean?
(Suddenly, everything's gone wrong after he says this; the large HDTV behind them suddenly turns to static picture, the electricity goes out, and a fire alarm siren is heard blaring. Famous sports personalities then run around and panic in the main room of the studio, Kakuzu is seen walking away holding a 19" LCD monitor, Bugs Bunny is seen eating a carrot in one of the rooms with a generator on and Kira Yamato is seen smashing down a computer with a baseball bat, then looks at the camera. The camera then changes view to the studio room where Kevin and Sonny are used to be at. Suddenly, Sonny shows up on the camera with a headband and a flashlight.)
Sonny: (to the camera) FOLLOW ME! FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOM!
(He then runs off to "freedom".)
(Video of the clip ends.)
Sonny: It took about a week to fix the freaking bug on the motherboards. By then, I'm pretty sure we have new Y2K-compliant studio equipment and that the same old (BLEEP!) will never happen again. Kevin, do present number six for me please.
Kevin: Here's number six on the list. It was the funniest moment when we've interviewed with fellow baseball analyst and good friend, Victor Yu at the 2007 preseason. You wanna know why? Roll the clip!
(Video plays)
Sonny: Okay. Victor, now here's my question…should the team had traded their players who had poor performance, what will—
Victor: (BLEEP!) you.
Sonny: (in a shocked expression, anime-styled) What did you say?!
Victor: I said, (BLEEP!) you…bitch!
Sonny: (sweatdropping, anime-styled) Uh, okay…
(Video ends)
Kevin: You know he nearly got fired for saying these swear words on live TV.
Sonny: Well yes, he was a bit rude to me and he's lucky he kept his job so he'll never fool around with the censorship barrier again. Here is number five on the countdown! You have heard of the pairing wars in Naruto, right? Well, for an episode of S.C: A.E. a fan of a fandom I hate had gotten through security and interrupted our reporting of sports events. Luckily I K.O.'d her before she could do any more harm on the network. Here's the clip, if you didn't understand.
(Video switches to a part of Sports Centre: Animation Edition #4.)
Kevin: Today's sports events could not be that worse, because there are some very interesting and awesome reports on sports events happening from yesterday!
Sonny: Our first top story came in—
(Suddenly, a NaruSaku fan comes up on the scene)
NaruSaku fan: (Leaping in joy) NARUSAKU FOREVER!! SASUSAKU NEVER!!
(Suddenly, Sonny gets pissed off and gets out a steel chair out of no-where. He then jumps on top of the fine glass table and belt-shots it real hard on the fan's head. The heavy impact sends the NaruSaku fan severely unconscious, on the floor.)
Sonny: (Muttering angrily) One more word out of you, and I'll kill you with my captive bolt pistol…--oops! Sorry for that, ladies and gentlemen.
(Video ends)
Sonny: …what do pairing wars of Naruto have to do with the show?!
Kevin: I don't know. Maybe because of…uh…well, I got nothing. We'll be back for number four and the rest, here on S.C: A.E.! Don't go away!
S.C. Announcer: This "Best Of!" edition of Sports Centre: Animation Edition is brought to you by, Aero chocolate. "Have you felt the (BLEEP!) melt in your mouth yet?"
(Three 30-second commercials play.)
S.C. Announcer: This programme is brought to you by, Apple Computers. "Think the same!"
Kevin: Hey guys, and welcome back to the show! Here's number four on the Top Ten list of the famous and the infamous moments here on Sports Centre: Animation Edition! During an episode of the show, some old senior had crashed right into our studio set with his son's car. It was right when the commercials were about to start.
(Video changes to the playing of the clip.)
Kevin: Okay, that's the news for you from the hockey world and now we're gonna take a break. We'll be right—
(Suddenly, Abe Simpson in his son's four-door sedan breaks through a wall of the studio set and nearly injuring the camera crew.)
Sonny: (recovering) What was that?!
Abe Simpson: Wha?!—Is this the retirement home? (looks at Kevin and Sonny who are giving angry looks at him.) Are you the guys who are giving me the medication?
(Awkward silence.)
Abe Simpson: Okay, just checking. (Backs up and drives out of the set.)
(Video clip ends)
Sonny: That blasted old Simpson! He could've killed us all! Luckily, we moved into another large set away from the old one, which was placed on the area next to the streets. Anyway, we have reached the top three of the Top Ten! Here's number three on the hit-list! In the 2003 Mardi Gras event, the S.C: A.E. crew travelled to New Orleans in Louisiana for the party celebration. Kevin and I had participated in the parade, and we had reported the sports news from the streets of N'awleans.
Kevin: That event was good times, man! Before we get to the number one spot, here's the number two moment. Back in August 2003, the massive blackout happened at the North-East side of North America! During that time, the electricity went out at the S.C: A.E. filming studio set, and delayed filming and production until the blackout had ended. The blackout lasted for about a week, and during that week we had fun playing the PlayStation 3 with Sonny and friends!
Sonny: And now, the moment you've been waiting for! The number one spot of the big list and it's coming to you right now! Based on viewer request, we give you…Homer getting chased by PBS again, this time in a marathon!
Kevin: Roll the tape!
(Video plays to the broadcasted coverage of the mentioned marathon.)
Commentator #1: It's now afternoon and no clouds are in the sky! The marathon runners are approaching the finish line, and they're 20 metres away from crossing that line, and—
Commentator #2: Hey! What's that? A bald, fat guy is running away from chasing people that are after him!
(The camera shifts its view towards the back of the pack, where Homer is chased by the network's famous people.)
Mr. Rogers: (joining the chase) It's a beautiful day…TO KICK YOUR ASS!
(The camera then changes its view to a running Yo-Yo Ma with his giant cello. There, he takes out a bow and uses it as a weapon like a crossbow.)
Yo-Yo Ma: (aiming at Homer) YOU DIE NOW! (He shoots his bow at Homer, but Homer misses.)
(The cameraman changes the camera's view to the chasing-down Teletubbies, where they fire their lazers from their antennas but the lazers miss Homer.)
Commentator #1: Look at the fat man go! He's getting ahead of the pack! There goes the bald, fat ass reaching towards the finish line…and HE'S GOT IT! The yellow Simpson beats the two runners up front to seal the victory!
(The video ends there.)
Sonny: Yes, he's done it! For once, Homer wins something alright, and he got at least plenty of exercise! Good job, Homer! Good Job! Well, that's our Top Ten for this special "Best Of!" episode here on Sports Centre: Animation Edition! We have more S.C: A.E. episodes to come in the near future, but there are a lot of sports coverage in this channel other than this show! Don't be waiting for us, we've got a lot more to give! For now, I'm Sonny Ing…
Kevin: …and I'm Kevin Chiu…
Sonny: Wishing you a great day here on Sports Centre: Animation Edition!
Sonny and Kevin: GOOD NIGHT!
(The show ends with a lot of S.C: A.E. moments being played, accompanied by the song "Celebration" by Kool & The Gang. Once the song ends, the video fades to black.)
End!
