October 7, 2008 (a year later)

My mom always told me that MySpace was a bad thing, but I didn't think she meant in this way. I woke up this morning, as usual. Another new school only a few months used to "public school", which in my eyes was no different, it was private minus the religion and uniforms. Another school, more drama, more kids, more torment. I went on MySpace, like every morning, and I noticed his name everywhere. Things like "Please Pray for 'His' Family" or "Help them". At first, I had no idea, I thought some stupid thing happened, and I sure as hell didn't care at first. Then I cared more than anything. You would've thought I had to watch my mom die or something, I cared. I wasn't as miserable as summer 08, but I was close. The news was everywhere; of course, he was the most popular kid in the district. I had never dreamt of his family going through that.

At this moment, they were in the hospital. They were waiting, waiting to see if the little one's been all right. They were worried about the older ones, if they were going to be okay mentally. I on the other was in my underwear staring at the wall with my hand on my mouth, and my laptop on the floor. A silence filled the room, apart from the crash of five pounds of laptop, it was a silence that every one knew, but few people experienced. It was a deadly silence. They were hurting as I stood there, all safe, and I just happen to be perfectly fine in my room, healthy, in one piece, not broken, not bleeding, no pain, pain in the heart of course, but no physical pain. "Why them", I kept repeating in my head, "why them, why them, why them". There was nothing I could do. Nothing at all! Of course, I wasn't worried before then, but he was always in my head somehow.

My mom barged in, hurray, and saw me still standing there, must have been 2 or 3 minutes, what I call a delayed reaction to the sound of dropping 700$. She knew the look on my face when she walked in, something was wrong, and it wasn't the "Kindergarten 'I fell and bruised my leg'" look, it was the "I think I'm going to faint" look. Yes, something was very wrong. I didn't have the words to speak, so all I did was bend down and hand the laptop to her. There it was. What had happened? What had happened was, my best friend, and his two little brothers so happened to not be wearing seatbelts, they so happened to be hit by a car going 80, and flipped 6 times, flying them out the windows? Was that really was happened? Apparently. It was like looking in the mirror, I was waiting…waiting for the "deer in the head light" look. Then It came, but quicker than mine, and less painful. The look. The littlest one broke ribs, arm, and hip, and had a collapsed lung. Second to youngest, nothing, sprained ankle. Him, he broke his arm, but I was acting as if he died. Oldest one, not one scratch. Just some glass. That's when I thought about how we first met, elephants…