Chapter 1: Hayner- Damn Demyx (And His Little Guitar Too)

AN- Bonjour, mes amis!

Is that the correct grammar? I just started taking French, so I'm not sure.

I just wanted to say right now that I really hate people who portray Demyx as a wimp on a sugar high. Almost as much as much as people who make Axel out to be a total pervert. Not that I don't read stuff like that and enjoy it, I just don't think those are very accurately character portrayals, considering that Demyx kicked my ass to Kingdom Hearts for about an hour when I tried to beat him in Hollow Bastian. Those form thingies are ANNOYING!

So, my Demyx isn't going to be like that, regardless of what you might think based on this chapter. Everybody's afraid of Larxene.

On the note of my ass being kicked to Kingdom Hearts, does anybody have any tips on how to beat Master Eraqus in Terra's story of BBS? Because I'm sucking. Maybe I just haven't leveled him up enough…

In this chapter, the main story officially begins! Less angst, more humor, and gory pictures of Demyx dying. What more could you want?

Reviews are answered at the bottom of the chapter.

Disclaimer- The day I own Kingdom Hearts, Organization XIII will rise from the ashes, and this time they get to whack Sora over the head with an oversized key. Take that you stupid "Oh right, they have no hearts!" jerk!

Sorry Sora.

Hayner woke up to steady beats of deafening guitar music. Which was, honestly, not that odd an occurrence, but it still pissed him off every time.

Especially when he rolled over and saw the time.

"Damn it!" he swore, jumping out of bed and grabbing the clothes that Naminé had set out for him. He had only fifteen minutes to get to school.

"Demyx!" he yelled as he hopped down the stairs, trying to get his sock on. He winced as a bad note hit his ears, and the figure on the couch jumped, looking back at him in shock.

"H-Hey, you're still here!" he exclaimed nervously, before settling his head in his hands. "Larxene is going to kill me."

Demyx was one of Larxene's friends from college. If you totally changed the meaning of the word 'friend' to something more like 'whining, unwilling slave' . Apparently she saved him after he lost all his money to some gambling dude- Luxord?- and now he owed her for life. Which usually meant he made him babysit Hayner and Naminé while she was in classes. Which usually were in the early morning. Which usually meant he was blasting his guitar at 6:00 AM.

Of course, on the day of one of the most important math test in Hayner's junior years so far, he would come an hour late. Typical.

"You're worried about her?" Hayner snarled, pleasuring in the look of barely hidden terror on Demyx's face. "If I didn't have only ten minutes to get to class, I'd kill you right now."

"Ah, but you do only have ten minutes to get to class," Demyx pointed out with a shaky laugh. Hayner clenched his hands into fists.

"But I have plenty of time after school," he growled, ignoring Demyx's "meep!" and slamming the door behind him.

As he took off down the sidewalk, he somehow managed to watch the road surreptitiously while still muttering curses at Demyx under his breath. But, while he was relatively decent at double tasking, he'd never been a triple tasker.

So he didn't notice the guy walking in front of him until he ran him over.

He blinked in surprise at suddenly finding himself horizontal, before grinning down at the familiar bunch of spikes below him. "Hey, Roxas. What are you doing up so late?"

"Get the hell off me, Hayner," Roxas mumbled into the concrete. Hayner laughed before obliging his friend. Affronted blue eyes glared up at him. "What are you doing up so late anyway? Did you finally manage to sleep through Demyx?"

Good mood gone in an instant, Hayner folded his arms sulkily and swung his head sharply to the side. "He came late today."

"Ah…" his best friend pushed himself up, brushing the gravel off his clothes. "Larxene's going to kill him."

"Why does everyone talk like Larxene's the only one capable of killing anyone?" Hayner demanded, stomping his foot in a way that was not at all temper tantrum-ish. Roxas just smirked at him evilly.

"Because Nam's too nice to kill anyone and well…" he grabbed one of Hayner's wrists and stared at it skeptically. "You're kinda scrawny, Hay."

Hayner pulled his arm back, wondering why he ever bothered telling Roxas about his problems. Roxas's twin, Ponies and Rainbows Sora himself would be a better option than his overly sarcastic friend. "It was supposed to be rhetorical…" he mumbled.

"Like you know what rhetorical means."

"Too far!"

The next thing Hayner knew, he was chasing Roxas down the street like a five year old, still watching the street. And as previously established, he couldn't triple task, meaning he could no longer come up with colorful ways to kill or maim Demyx.

…Damn Demyx.

{CaLl 911! ThE pAgE iS bRoKeN!}

It was only after first period that he realized that he'd left his science homework on his dining room table. And his lunch in the refrigerator, which was honestly more important at the moment, seeing as he hadn't eaten any breakfast.

Luckily, he had sweet and understanding friends that would not only let him con answers off them, but also let him steal their morning granola bars.

"Do your own homework, Hayner. And keep your hands off my food!"

Well. He hadn't meant Pence, but he was sure somebody…

"Don't even try, Hayner."

He pouted, fixing Olette with his deadliest glare. She just scoffed at him, and Pence was too busy eating to even notice his sorrowful state.

Roxas wasn't in this class, but there was no way he'd give him anything anyway. He eyed the bag of potato chips sitting on the corner of Professor Vexen's desk.

"Don't take those; you don't know what kind of chemical he's added in as an experiment. He's probably just waiting for some unsuspecting student to take a bite."

He sent Olette another glare, but slumped down in his seat, defeated.

Damn Demyx!

"It's not like I didn't do my homework!" he protested, bristling at Olette's skeptical look. "I did! I swear, I did! I just don't have it with me right now."

"You say that every time you forget to do your homework," Olette scoffed, throwing her dark brown hair over her shoulder as she fixed him with a piercing green glare. Hayner shrunk in his seat, thinking her eyes looked a little too close to literally shooting daggers at him.

"Yes, but this time it's true!" he protested, clasping his hands together in front of his chest in a begging motion. Pence snorted in disbelief, widening his eyes innocently when Hayner shot him a sullen look. "Just this one time, 'Lette. I'll never ask you for anything again!"

"You always say that too," Olette muttered, but handed over her homework anyway. "And I want to see proof that you did it afterschool! Otherwise, I'll hunt you down and make you cook me something. I've been in the mood for some three layer fudge marble cake. With orange frosting and some rainbow sprinkles."

Hayner laughed uncertainly, keeping his eyes carefully fixed on Olette's careful handwriting. He hadn't done a lot of these correctly…

Ever since Hayner and Pence had cooked Olette a cake for her birthday (read: Hayner baked her a cake while Pence ate the frosting and played on his new mini laptop), she'd found many ways to blackmail him into cooking for her again. Honestly, Hayner didn't see why she was so insistent about it. It hadn't been the best cake in the world by far, in his opinion at least. Plus, it had been the first time he'd cooked since…

Well. Since.

Sometimes, he'd find himself in the kitchen, and he'd remember his mother's warm smiles, and delicious food, and he'd have to sprint for the bathroom to empty his stomach of the memory.

Naminé did most of the cooking nowadays. Larxene couldn't make Easy Mac without messing it up somehow.

The bell signaling the start of second period rang at the exactly as Hayner filled in the last problem. Professor Vexen swept into the classroom with an intimidating twirl of his white lab coat. His science teacher never failed to give him the creeps.

His hawk-like eyes surveyed the class coldly, one mere poisonous glance shutting up the lingering chatter.

"I am departing for the day," he announced, his voice ringing out clearly. "Please consider this a free period. Your substitute should be arriving soon. Watch out for eye patched men falling from the ceiling."

Hayner gaped at him open mouthed as he disappeared, lab coat fluttering behind him. He had just wasted those ten minute copying homework…when he could have been talking to his friends! Or studying for his math test! Or doing something more productive than merely moving his pencil across a blank sheet of paper!

"I think Professor Vexen has finally lost it," Pence deduced with certainty. Olette was watching the ceiling warily. "Why would an eye patched man drop from the ceiling?"

Hayner yelped and fell backwards in his chair when a pair of boots landed on the desk in front of him, loudly declaring "Why not?"

Damn Demyx.

{QuIcK, pUt A cAsT oN iT!}

His head was still aching from the fall to the ground as he headed to his last period of the day. He had quickly decided that he would take Professor Vexen's unnatural calm over Xigbar's manic attitude any day. He found himself keeping one eye on the ceiling for any eye patched men getting ready to drop on his head.

Just another paranoia to add to his steadily growing list.

The rest of the day hadn't been much better. Nam had avoided him like the plague, obviously not willing to get chewed out for not waking him up. He'd sat moodily through lunch, occasionally sneaking fries from Sora when the boy got too wrapped up in talking to notice. His journalism teacher had given him a weird look when she'd caught him drawing a detailed and rather gory picture of himself stabbing Demyx through the heart with a butter knife. She'd made him stay after class to discuss if he needed to go talk to his councilor.

It was not a conversation he particularly wanted to repeat.

Now, all he had left was math. He was going to pass this test, he could just feel it. Never mind the fact that he was failing the class and hadn't gotten higher than a C+ all year. He'd been up since one in the morning studying! He was going to get at least a B this time. So what if half that time he'd spent studying he'd really been browsing the internet? They'd only been able to scrounge up the money to get him and Nam their own computer a month ago. He was entitled to enjoy it.

His opinion changed the minute the three page test was set down on his desk. He eyed the first problem, panicked. He couldn't remember how to do this stuff.

He tapped his knees to try and calm himself down. It wasn't working this time. His breath was coming in faster and faster, not bringing in enough air, and his hands were hitting his knees hard enough to hurt, and his eyes were darting all over the place, and-

"I need some water!" he blurted out, launching himself out the door before his teacher could grab him.

He skidded into the bathroom, kicking open the first stall, and grabbed the sides of the toilet, taking in gasping breaths as he fought down his nausea. Fortunately, there wasn't enough food in his stomach for him to do anything but dry heave, choking as air rushed back into his lungs.

When his retches finally died down, he pushed himself shakily to his feet, leaning against the side of the stall heavily as he tried to remember how to walk without falling over. He opened the door and wobbled over to the sink, splashing his face with water. He grinned wryly as he took in the face in the mirror, coming off a shadow of what it usually was. So much for that B. There was no way he could walk back into class after that, and Mr. Leonhart would most likely not let him retake it tomorrow, no matter what bullshit of an excuse Hayner gave.

These panic attacks had become something of a normality to Hayner. Ever since…Ever since then, he'd been having them at least once a week. Larxene had caught him once, a month afterwards, and had wanted to send him to a therapist, but Hayner had managed to talk her out of it by saying that it was the only time it had happened (lie), and that they couldn't afford it any way (truth). He'd been a lot more careful since then.

He couldn't have anyone worrying about him. Because then he would hurt them.

He didn't leave the bathroom until the last bell rung.

{JuSt KeEp OfF iT fOr A fEw 'Ll HeAl On It'S oWn.}

To take his mind off the newly acquired zero on his math test, Hayner sprinted home, eyes gleaming manically as he pictured how to kill Demyx. He kept an eye on the road, thanking whoever-hell-was-up-there that there were no ceilings for him to be afraid of. He quickly settled on smashing the guitar hard on his weird hairdo.

However, as previously established, Hayner was not a triple tasker. So, he was not paying the slightest attention to where he was going.

You can probably guess what happened next.

"Oof!"

Hayner found himself on top of someone for the second time that day. However, he quickly established that he had no idea who it was this time when a fist connected with his face.

"Get the hell off of me!"

Rubbing his smarting eye, he raised his head to see a rather menacing figure hovering over him. Small wisps of platinum blond hair peek out from beneath a black beanie. Ice blue eyes glare down at Hayner, with arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Look where you're going, lamer."

Hayner stared at him for a few more seconds, squinting his visible eye. The boy's stance lost some of its anger as he noticed the kid's oddly blank expression. However, Hayner snapped out of it quickly, launching himself up to his feet.

"You want a fight, jerk?" he hissed, noting to his chagrin that the kid was a few inches taller than him. The rational part of his brain noticed that there were moving trucks in the street next to them. It also piped up that this was the house next to his.

"Like a chickenwuss like you could even scratch me," the boy sneered, brief concern vanishing from his face. "I think I'll pass."

"Seifer! I'm going to drop all these boxes if you don't help me!" a voice called distantly from the inside of the house. With one last glare, the boy- Seifer- turned is back on Hayner and charged up to the front door of the house, slamming it behind him.

Hayner seethed for a few seconds before remembering his primary target. He now had a black eye to blame on Demyx too. He wasn't just going to kill him now. Oh no. He was going to kill him, bring him back to life, and then sic a PMSing Larxene on him.

Cackling evilly, he shoved open the front door of his house and stomped his way to the living room, ready for a fight.

Only to be met with a shock of red hair.

Said hair waved cheerily at him. "Hey, I'm Axel. Got it memorized? Sorry Demyx couldn't be here. He said something about how he was too young to die. You must be Naminé. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

There were a few beats of silence.

"FUCK!" Hayner screamed, throwing his heavy backpack at the hair's face before storming up to his room and closing the door so hard, Axel could almost feel the house shake.

"That's Larxene's little brother alright," Axel moaned, clutching the rising lump on his head in agony. "Something tells me I'm going to regret agreeing to this."

AN- Don't worry, Axel, you might regret it for a little bit, but soon you'll have a little Roxas to comfort you in your misery. *insert evil laugh*.

Don't expect updates so quickly next time. I'll probably get around to it by next Sunday at the latest. It's the end of the quarter at my school, so I've got a lot of projects due, and less time to write. Also, in November I'll be doing NaNoWriMo, so updates will be slow there too.

Remember the ticklish button? It's still ticklish. And it'll still love you forever if you click it.

REVIEWS:

SitarLover: Thank you! Thank you, thank you!

ShokubaiYume: Thanks for the review. As for side pairings, I'm not quite sure yet. There will probably be some AkuRoku, and possibly some Pence/Olette on the side as well, but neither will be as major a focus as the Seiner. Larxene will definitely be in a pairing, but I'm not sure who yet. The only one I'm positive about it that there will be Zemyx. I hope I live up to your expectations.

Thanks to everyone who alerted or favorited this story too. Leave a review as well next time, okay? Tell me if there are any blaringly obvious mistakes.

This is tLrIuEtSh heading out!