Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or claims to Naruto, this is purely for fan enjoyment.

Warnings: PG-13 Rating might rise later on in the book. Graphic Violence later on, Mental and emotional abuse. So far more warnings might be added. Also, slow updates.

Canon divergence: The canon divergence in this book is canon divergence only if you consider 'The Last Movie' canon. It also ignores Naruto Gaiden.


It seemed to be that, as time went on, he gradually distanced himself, he hadn't really noticed it was happening at the start, but even when he had, he didn't feel compelled to put an end to it. The distance it seemed, was something he had been craving. It wasn't even something he had even been aware that he needed. Once he had it, however, it was amazingly pleasant. He hadn't thought he could miss the lonely times of his childhood, yet here he was.

At first, it had been little things, fewer times eating out with his friends, once a month simply not showing up for BBQ or ramen, Nothing serious, and nothing that would make them think he was avoiding them, even he himself hadn't noticed he was doing so, at first. He had simply chalked it up to just wanting some privacy to reflect after the war. He certainly needed it after things he'd seen.

They weren't doing the same thing as he, however. Once they had realized he was somewhat avoiding him, they had taken it as a sign that he needed them more. Which was actually kind of fair, in times of struggle like the war people rallied together, and after the war, they stuck together for support.

That's what he had been told by Kakashi anyway, and judging by his friend's actions, and determination to spend time with each other and him, it was quite true.

He had grown up without a parent's love and lived most of his younger years friendless. So was that it? Was it only habitual that he would seek solitude for familiarity sake? Or was he running from them because now that everything had settled down, he didn't know how to speak with them anymore?

They all wanted to relax after such trying times, and he didn't. He wanted adventure, he wanted to have that adrenaline rush that came with fighting an enemy. Those thoughts, they sometimes scared him. War shaped people, had it shaped him to be a weapon of war? Was he the enemy of his friends hopes now; because the peace was so suffocating to him?

Was he their unknown enemy now? He could really only hope that he wasn't, he didn't want to cause them harm, in any way.

The thought however, never seemed to go away completely.

It wasn't like it lingered in the back of his mind, but it was more a sensation of dread. The sensation wasn't a foreign one to him, he'd had it several times during his young life, though the fact that he'd felt it last just before he'd battled Obito was quite more disconcerting than the feeling alone.

The thrill that came with the feeling of dread, he tried not to feel.

On the opposing side of his strange longing to fight, was the irritation that he had soon found to be the blatant normality of the average teenager. The drama that came with in particular, there were condreys and tiffs on such stupid things that Naruto had begun to wonder if he had truly gone to war with these people. For the things they argued over, spat at each other for, seemed to have the importance to them as surviving a deadly blow to the chest.

When in reality they were as important as loose thread on an old shirt; a tiny issue, that was to be expected over time.

Sometimes, he consented with them, that perhaps the issues weren't all so small, like a cheating partner, or even if one of them being struck ill -this hadn't happened as of yet, but he did worry with the clothing they sometimes wore.- It was an issue that he rarely ever thought about clearly, he didn't want to think sourly of his own friends.

Still as time lingered on he began to feel as if he were a reclusive old man with a wooden cane, rather than a seventeen year old with a prosthetic arm.

His arm was a burden now, not because he didn't understand how to operate around it, more because the skin where the glaze stuck the prosthetic to what remained of his original arm wasn't in as good a shape as when it had been attached. The skin there was rising up in large red blisters, and on occasion oozed a translucent puss, which seeped in under the white bandage and the glaze, and onto his fake arm, it pooled into the indents, and it disgusted him.

Many of his male friends thought the arm symbolic, much as he had at the very beginning of the peace they now had. It had represented his war effort, and him a war hero, Kiba had remarked that it suited him well.

Most of the girls thought it made him far more attractive, a point proven ever so slightly by the fanclub he now had. Although he tried to think on that as little as possible.

Naruto didn't agree with either of those points, the arm was more a pleasing than a curse; true.

However it was in actually, rather painful, and Kurama's chakra couldn't go through the material, least he melt it. Only his own chakra was able to move through the veins of the sculpted arm, and it created a great feeling of disproportion.

Even as he did his everyday routine. Sasuke had to take to going rather easier on him because of it, something he found humiliating, yet grateful over the fact that both he and Sasuke were in the same situation. For once. Sasuke of course did have his Sharingan however, as such, he was far quicker to adapt then he.

The thought of Sasuke gave him a strange sense of unease at this point, although his reasoning as to why remained unclear to his own mind. As far as he could tell the other teenager hadn't changed, at least not by much, the glaze in his eyes from when they were younger had dimmed much, his hatred had been expelled now, and yet…. Naruto found himself worried for the other, he'd lost so much, while Naruto had gained fruitfully. For as long as he could think back, they had been jealous of each others spoils, and now, while their roles had reversed, the emotional outcome was much the same.

He hadn't succumbed to darkness in Sasuke's position, when he had been a child, even still, as he tried to think optimistically on the matter -as he did to any situation-, he knew that his friend was far more susceptible to grief then he. He'd given into the temptation more than once after all, and though unintentional Naruto would find himself praying for his friends safety of mind.

Saddening as it was to think, many of his friends had lost much to the war. Somedays there was a pulling at his breast a feeling much like guilt, but it was simply the cold reality that faced him day-to-day now. Understanding that there was nothing he could have done.

It was his penalty of war he supposed.

Selfish a thought as it was, he couldn't help but feel as if he had lost the most. Was it selfish or not, he didn't know himself, he felt he had the right to be after everything he'd experienced.

His own justification was rather screwed at this point to be frank.

After so long trapped in the desire to stay isolated, he wasn't quite sure if he was right in the head anymore.

Perhaps he was depressed?

Thinking on it, there was a high likelihood that this was right synopsis to his own mental situation, he hardly felt himself anymore, and there was a constant burning in his chest, and a lump deep in his throat that didn't seem to move even with food and water.

"Oi! Naruto! Get up! You lazy ass!" There was a loud banging on his front door, and the gruff barking voice could belong to no other then Kiba.

He felt no desire to open the door however, but judging by the conclusion he'd just reached about himself it would be stupid of him to ignore his friends hollers.

The energy it took to simply get out of his own bed and place his feet on the ground, was astronomical, or at least his mind was making him think it was.

He'd never been a huge fan of being unsure.

The cold metal of the doors lock shocked him, helping to wipe the exhaustion from his system, at least slightly, the muscles around his shoulder blades however, felt knotted to all hell, and he didn't particularly want to move them in anyway at this point. He settled himself, and opened the door, even as his mind rebelled against it.

"Oi! Naruto! What do you think you're doing anyway! Sakura hasn't seen heads or tails of you and neither has anyone else! What are you doing in here anyway?" Akamaru barked as if to ask himself. Naruto wanted to yell in irritation at the boy in front of him suddenly, yet held fast to his control.

"Heehee! Broading actually!" The moment of apprehension on his friend's face was interesting to him, yet his lie on his face was transparent. He'd have to adjust to laying, a unpleasant thought, but it was only for a short while so he found that it couldn't be all too bad. Only for a short while.