I was bored so i finished writing this chapter!

It turns out good for you guys!


"Don't." my voice just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."

He stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far from too late. He already had.

"You're not good for me, Bella."

My eyes snapped opened my body gasping for air. Scrambling to a sitting position I tucked my knees under my chin and took deep breaths. His words echoing through my head the words getting louder and louder as my mind played them like repeat on an iPod

Tears misted over my eyes and I clutched my hair muttering, "Stop." repetitively.

6 months. It's been 6 months since he left and even though I'm not in my zombie state of mind anymore it hasn't gotten any easier. I'm able to function now but still it's a less then half asssed attempt. So I don't know if my zombie stage is worse or better then to my…present stage. If that's what you can call it

1:36A.M, my clock read its neon lights casting a red shadow in my room, I'd only been asleep for about 30 minutes.

My breathing finally regulated and I lay on my back staring at the ceiling wiping my eyes.

I looked back at my clock and saw that it was now 5 minutes till 2AM.

Realizing but more like resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to get back to sleep, I got up from bed and quickly collected my things to take a shower.

The cold didn't even bother me anymore, I welcomed actually.

While I saw undressing I thought about my latest nightmare. Now I wouldn't say I'm a masochist but I relished the indescribable pain that came with any thought of…him. It made me feel alive made it more certain that he was real; he said that human memories fade but I'm not going to let him slip from my memories. This pain that feels like that a chunk of my being was ripped out leaving only a giant nasty gaping hole in its wake makes itself know that it wasn't for nothing, my love for him wasn't a 'fling'. My feelings were and are real, even if his weren't.

I went through the motions of showering without really thinking. As I started to wrap myself within the towel a soft knock rang out followed by

"Bella? Are you almost done?"

I cracked open the door and said, "Yeah."

Then started walking to my room without another word.

I had spent quite a while in the shower, and I briefly hoped that Charlie didn't want to take a hot shower. After changing into some jeans and plain long sleeve, I went down stairs to go fix Charlie some breakfast.

"Bella? Are you okay?" He asked speaking for the first time since coming down the stairs a few minutes ago.

Looking up from my own plate of food, which I had yet to take a bite of, and said with a forced smile, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I'm just asking." He answered.

Another few minutes pasted in silence, the only sound coming from the silverware softly tinkling against the plates, before Charlie stood up taking his empty plate to the sink and say, "I'm off to work."

"Bye." I muttered. I stayed where I was until I heard the cruiser's rumbling engine start up and fade away as he drove towards the station. I stood up, dumping my plate, which was pretty much still full in the trash and went up to my room. I looked around my room for a few seconds then settled on my computers' chair.

I spent an hour on the computer checking my mail. Renée had given up with the messages since I all but stopped replying to them, and when I did, it was only about 2 sentences long.

The clouds cleared up for the first time in months sending a ray of light through my window. I memorized by the light. Next thing I knew I was getting dressed in a cleaner pair of pants and went into Charlie's room and dug out of his closet a blue and black plaid long sleeve.

I put that over my own tank top and headed down stairs.

With 30 minutes I parked the car where the road ended and turned it off.

I looked out the passengers towards the trail, that wasn't the trail I was going to use.

I didn't know what I was doing, but I just felt this need to go to the meadow.

Needless to say, I fell down a lot but I still went on.

I looked at my watch and saw it now 8 and honestly I was starting to freak out, when I suddenly saw the familiar opening in light.

I felt relieved small smile make its way to my lips and I walked a bit faster and was soon back in the meadow; it was as beautiful as ever all it's wild flowers in the assortment of colors blending together, only then it wasn't.

My attention drifted away from the meadow, and I started walking out, veering to the left. I felt this invisible pull driving me forward to walk for another 30 minutes.

I knew I arrived to where I was being pulled to when I stopped and saw a cabin.

My heart started pounding as I heard sounds of muffled screaming, but that didn't stop me from slowly walking towards the wooden door.

I lifted my hand to knock, but then just chose to open it.

I gasped.


What did you think!
Review please!