Lions Are Amazing: Hah! Thanks for the review/favourite/follow! The 'Muffin Scene' actually isn't a TFS reference! Though now that I think about it, because of the muffin button gag, I can see where you're coming from. Expect tons more 4'th wall breaking! I like to poke fun at the tropes in DBZ Fanfiction, like people randomly forgetting important plot details and accepting things like Cell becoming a good guy really quickly, etc etc.

TheBurgerSnatcher Thanks for the review/favourite! I'm glad I didn't disappoint your expectations! Here's hoping you find Chapter 2 even more funny than the last!

A/N: Just thought I'd mention that little Trunks does not appear in this story, he was born and all of that, but the only Trunks you'll be hearing from is Future Trunks.

I don't own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT or anything like that, they all belong to Akira Toriyama, Toei, etc. I don't own any other characters in this story, except some shitty OC's I might throw in for the laughs.

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

(Author Comments)

*Insert other shit like Saiyan Bonds here* = Any other bullshit I might come up with

On the last chapter of Broken, Beaten, and Clogged, Virginia and Freezie-pop got into a real big tussle over Goku's heart, when Frieza won, he declared he did not have feelings for Goku! In a stunning turning of events, Goku asks Vegeta if he'd like to stay and eat lunch with the rest of the Sons and the Ex-villains! Will Vegeta take Goku up on his offer? Find out on this chapter of Broken, Beaten, and Clogged!

Chapter 2: Raggle Fraggle!

Everyone stared expectantly at Vegeta, waiting for his response. Vegeta contemplated greatly on this subject, after all, it could change the way this Fanfiction unfolds! (doubt it)

"Very well Kakarot, I'll eat some lunch with all of you."

"Aw yea! Nice choice Vegeta! Now let's dig in for lunch part 2!" Goku exclaimed, before stuffing his face full.

The meal went on without incident, so we're just going to time skip because it wouldn't be much of a story without action, right?

A few hours later

Everybody had gathered around as they watched a familiar time machine land in Goku's backyard. The egg shell designed top opened up and Future Trunks jumped out. Trunks looked towards the group with surprise, he recognized 2 new faces and saw 2 more he didn't recognize. As Trunks finished examining the group, Android 18 also jumped out of the time machine and stood next to him.

"Hey guys, it's been a while," Trunks said as he put on his best smile.

Goku quickly ran up to him to shake his hand, "Hey Trunks, it has been a while! Is the future in trouble again? Hehehe..."

"No don't worry about that Goku, I just decided to come back to the past because the plot demanded that my mom kick the bucket."

"I see, well Trunks aren't you going to introduce us to your new friend?" Goku asked, looking towards Android 18.

Trunks also glanced at her, then turned back to Goku, "Well when I went back to the future (haha) I defeated Android 17 and Cell no problem. I decided that because Android 18 had killed everyone I had ever known and loved, and had massacred my home planet, that I should instantly fall in love with her and forget everything she ever did."

Frieza grinned at this statement, "Seems perfectly plausible to me!"

Trunks scrunched his eyebrows together at Frieza's statement, and started thinking.

'Did I possibly screw up this time-line when I went back to the past to change it? Is that why Frieza and Cell are still alive somehow?'

Cell quickly caught on to the look on Trunks' face "Trunks; Frieza, Zarbon, Broly and I are all alive because we asked King Yemma to let us out of hell. We're all good guys now, don't worry!"

Trunks' face brightened up at Cell's sentiment, "Even though you killed me, I'm going to conveniently forget that and all of the other horrors you ever committed so we could possibly explore a romantic future with one another."

Cell simply nodded and smiled.

"Well anyway, Goku, I introduced you to Android 18, would you mind introducing me to these two?" Trunks pointed to Zarbon and Broly.

Goku turned around and looked at the two new members Trunks was pointing to, "Yea, Zarbon is an old henchman of Frieza, he's the one with the green hair and skin. Broly is a Saiyan, the Legendary Super Saiyan to be exact. He hated me for his entire life because of something really trivial but we've become friends now!"

Broly decided to pipe up because the introductions were taking too long and this chapter isn't getting anywhere, "Hey you guys, we should really move the plot along, let's all start hanging out OK?"

Everyone quickly agreed at Broly's statement. But the question still remained, where would they go to hang out? Fortunately, Cell was with them and, being a bio-mechanical android, he was quick to think up an idea. "I say we all head to an amusement park!"

Zarbon's face immediately lit up at that idea, he'd always wanted to go to an amusement park with Lord Frieza! "Yes that's a great idea! But the problem is...we don't have any money to get in." Everyone's faces collectively sunk at those words.

But then Vegeta suddenly remembered a tiny important detail! "Hah! I'm the husband of Bulma Briefs, the richest woman in the world! We can pay to get into any park we want no problem! Or even buy the park!"

One quick stop at Capsule Corporation later

The whole gang (except for Android 18 who decided to stay at home and talk to Chi-Chi) stood outside of the fanciest amusement park ever made. It was one of the oldest parks on Earth, having been built where a farmland used to be. Its main attraction, a huge roller coaster, was built with a barn motif; the riders would be taken through twists and turns throughout, there was even an upside down sequence. In honour of their greatest success, the amusement park was called The Bargain Barn.

In order to blend in with their surroundings and come off as regular Earthlings, Cell and Frieza had to wear disguises. Frieza wore a simple baseball cap on top of his head. Cell's disguise had to be a bit more complex because all Earthlings would immediately recognize him otherwise; he wore a crudely fitting T-Shirt (due to his really weird body shape) that had letters printed on the back that said: 'I'm not Cell!' In addition, he wore a foam hand on his right hand that had 'Earth is #1!' printed on it, nobody would recognize him with this clever disguise! So off our heroes went to enjoy their day at The Bargain Barn, the group had collectively agreed to meet at the entrance of the park at 7:00PM. Everyone went their separate ways in order to get on their favourite rides.

Trunks and Cell had decided to travel together due to Cell's unfamiliarity with amusement parks.

Frieza and Goku had decided to walk around the park together so they could catch up. They hadn't spoken to one another in quite a while and besides, Goku wanted to get something to eat. Since he knew Frieza wouldn't care if they spent all of their time eating instead of going on any rides, Goku did just that. Zarbon and Gohan had decided to go together, Zarbon wanted to 'get to know Gohan better'. Finally, Broly and Vegeta were travelling together because Broly wanted to hear about his people's history (that's what he told them anyway).

Cell had just finished picking up some cotton candy for him and Trunks, he handed Trunks his stick.

"Here's your shit, on a stiiick!" Cell said. Trunks just glared at Cell. Cell cleared his throat and decided to change the subject, "So Trunks, how's the future been treating you? Did you tie up all those loose ends and such?" Cell asked as he bit down on his candy. They began walking aimlessly around the park because neither knew the others' tolerance for thrill rides.

Trunks got in line for 'Grimace's Obode' a very famous roller coaster, it was famous for the majority of it being underground. Trunks motioned for Cell to join him in line as he answered his question.

"Yea, I came back from the past, killed Android 17, made up with Android 18, killed your future self, then travelled back to the past after I found out my mom was dead." Thus, Cell and Trunks stood in line, nothing else of any importance happening...for now...so let's go check on the others.

Meanwhile with Zarbon and Gohan

"So Gohan, I was thinking we should take that love tunnel ride!" Zarbon exclaimed, motioning Gohan to look to their right.

Gohan seemed torn, he liked the heart shaped love boats, but he also liked bumper carts. "I dunno Zarbon, I was thinking we could go on the bumper carts first!"

Zarbon gave it some thought 'I suppose I wouldn't mind bumping with Gohan for a bit...hehehe'

Zarbon smirked at his ability to twist everything into something lewd, "Alright Gohan you win, let's go knock ourselves silly." Zarbon quickly shoved them into the line, managing to get ahead of some people because of his strength. As they got in line, Zarbon hooked his hand into Gohan's. Gohan turned and looked at Zarbon questioningly.

"Don't worry Gohan, we should hold hands so we don't lose each other." Zarbon said as he licked his sultry lips. Gohan's naivety shined through as he smiled at Zarbon's seemingly kind gesture.

"Good idea Zarbon!" They too began standing in line without much of an incident.

Meanwhile with Broly and Vegeta

Broly and Vegeta were currently seated in a Ferris wheel ride. It had been 10 minutes since they climbed in, and the ride still hadn't start up!

"Hey! Faggoty Andy!" Vegeta pointed at the ride's technician. The startled tech looked up at Vegeta's outburst.

"Start the damn ride already! We don't got all day!"

The technician winced at Vegeta's tone, but he decided to reason with him, "Sorry buddy, but there just aren't enough riders yet, we can't start without a certain number of people on the ride!"

"Buddy?! Buddy?! How dare you call me buddy! I am Vegeta! The prince of ALL Saiyans! Never forget your place you filthy maggot! Now start the damn ride! I command you!"

Fearing for his life, the technician complied. The Ferris wheel started to turn, slowly.

"See Broly? Sometimes a bit of assertiveness goes a long way! Never forget this important information! It also helps to be the prince of all Saiyans, of course."

Meanwhile with Frieza and Goku

Frieza and Goku were sitting at a table, Goku had been helping himself to a generous amount of food for the past half an hour. Things seemed to be going smoothly until somebody tripped over Frieza's tail that was sitting on the ground.

"Hey freak! Isn't it a bit early for Halloween? Keep your shitty tail to yourself!"

Frieza turned around to face the Earthling who dared shit talk his tail. It was some fat ass guy who looked like he weighed about 500 pounds. He had long, greasy, sausage-like fingers and wore an XXXL T-Shirt that said "I'm not fat, I'm just big boned!" He wore a sun cap on top of his head and a fanny pack around his waist.

"What was that you pathetic gnat? I'm Lord Frieza! The most powerful space tyrant who has ever lived!" Frieza said as he stood up to face the antagonist.

The fat tub of lard got up into Frieza's face and pointed a dirty finger towards his nose as he said, "Yea, and I'm the king of England! Go back to cosplaying on TV you fucking butt munch." The asshole laughed as he started walking away.

Frieza's anger rose to new heights as he muttered "I'm seriously hitting my boiling point here, John!"

A crowd began to gather at the spectacle, waiting to see what would transpire. In one swift motion Frieza jumped in front of the offender and pulled out his Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun, he bellowed "RAGGLE FRAGGLE!" as he jumped towards the guy and applied 950,000 volts of electricity to the asshole's right nipple, instantly incapacitating him. The nameless jerk hit the ground harder than a fat kid on a jungle gym as Frieza jumped on top of him and expelled a feral scream,

"AAAAAUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRR GO YANK YOUR COCK THROUGH YOUR ASS YOU PIECE OF SHIT! ALL THOSE WHO DISRESPECT LORD FRIEZA WILL BE MET WITH THE SAME FATE!"

All spectators in the vicinity immediately ran for the hills, hoping to get as far away as possible from the deranged lunatic. Frieza was not going to have any of it though, he clenched both of his hands into fists and, raising his arms to his sides he initiated the Helicopter Spin technique. Everyone caught in Frieza's path were electrocuted and thrown away as he became a spinning wheel of death! As Goku watched incredulously at the scene unfolding in front of him, he decided to stop things before they escalated too far.

Goku let the awe-inspiring scene unfold for a few more seconds before yelling, "Hey! Frieza! I got some corn dogs over here! Come get some quick before I eat them all!" Goku proceeded to stuff a whole corn dog into his mouth to make good on his threat.

"I'm coming!" Frieza yelled back as he immediately stopped his rampage and ran back to their table. He sat down and grabbed the plate full of corn dogs, putting them onto his side of the table. He was about to pick one up when he remembered he had no ketchup or mustard!

"I'll be right back Goku, if you dare touch anymore of these I'm going to ram my fist so far up your ass you won't be able to shit for a week!" Frieza clenched his hand into a fist and made thrusting motions to demonstrate what he meant.

Goku raised his eyebrows, thinking about the sexual connotations coming from Frieza's demonstration before he quickly waived his hands in front of his face to reassure Frieza. "I'm not sure I can take that as a threat Frieza, but I promise I won't eat them!" Satisfied with his answer, Frieza stormed off to the concession stand to pick up some ketchup and mustard.

Back with Zarbon and Gohan

"Now prepare yourself!" Zarbon yelled as he thrust with all of his might.

"AAUUURRGHHHHH" Gohan yelled as Zarbon managed to hit his vital areas.

"I can't take much more of this Zarbon!"

"I know, just hold out for a little bit longer! Here I come!" Zarbon yelled as he finished Gohan off.

They were playing 'Guilty Street Beaters XXX#Reload Version 6.0' on an arcade machine (What? What did you think they were doing? Fucking sickos). Zarbon had just beaten Gohan's character to a bloody pulp, declaring him the winner! They were currently entertaining themselves in the arcade section of The Bargain Barn, having decided to wait until the love tunnel's line was a bit shorter before they queued. After they finished exchanging their tokens for a few menial prizes, they decided to leave the arcade. As they stepped outside, both stopped suddenly as their eyes widened at the scene in front of them.

Piccolo had suddenly landed in the amusement park, he was currently looking for Gohan. When he detected his energy signal, Piccolo turned his head to see if he was correct. Piccolo turned back around and yelled out to everyone in the area, "Hey everyone! I'm turning around! Duck!" Just as Piccolo finished yelling, everyone obeyed and ducked, he turned left and his humongous dang-a-lang flew over everyone's heads as he swung around.

"There you are Gohan! I've been looking for you all day!" Piccolo said as he strolled up to Gohan.

Gohan walked up to Piccolo with a big grin plastered on his face, "Hey Piccolo! What's up? Is something wrong?"

Piccolo stared at Zarbon for a second as Zarbon walked up to stand next to Gohan before he turned his attention back to his ex-student, "Don't worry, it's nothing too important. I was just wondering what you all were doing, and why these four were out of hell."

Zarbon just smiled and responded "King Yemma let us out for good behaviour." Zarbon continued, "Hmm...I don't remember you, what's your name?"

"The name's Piccolo, I was one of the fighters on Namek, though you never met me."

Zarbon went to say something else, but was interrupted by Gohan's growling stomach. Gohan put his hand on the rumbling beast and blushed before saying, "Hey, do you guys think we could finish this conversation while we're getting something to eat?"

Zarbon agreed, "Well Gohan I wouldn't mind getting a bite to eat I suppose."

Piccolo reluctantly agreed to come along with Gohan and Zarbon to get something to eat (he was very aware of Saiyan eating habits).

And so the three stooges set out to find a decent place to sit down and get a meal.

Back with Vegeta and Broly

"So Broly, how did you even make it into this story anyway? I mean, weren't you just some minor villain that everybody started flocking towards so you got 3 movies with you as the villain?"

Broly stopped looking out of the window of the Ferris wheel and turned back to Vegeta, "Only 2 movies, we don't talk about Bio-Broly. Yea I guess it was just sort of a spur of the moment idea of the Author's so that you'd have some other character to interact with."

"Hmm...I suppose that's good enough, but what about Cell? I mean, he'd make an alright character for me to talk to."

"Yea but think about it, Cell already has enough characters to have to interact with: Gohan has Zarbon/Cell, Trunks has Cell, Goku has Frieza/Cell, and You'd only have Cell! Everyone would be interacting mainly with Cell."

"Hmm...I wonder why that is anyway?"

"Well it's pretty simple actually, he IS perfect. Of course he's going to be the main character of this story."

"And you're OK with that Broly?"

"Well yea there's nothing I can do with it, you don't just fuck with the Author's ideas after all. Besides, by not fucking with it, it means I get to be a part of the story!"

"Heh, you must be really desperate, what say we go check in on the others? This Ferris wheel is getting pretty boring, we've been on it for an hour and a half!"

Broly concurred with Vegeta, "Alright Vegeta, let's get the fuck out of here!" They both just flew straight out of the Ferris wheel seat, smashing the glass walls to smithereens.

As they flew above the amusement park, they saw Piccolo land and start talking to Gohan and Zarbon.

Vegeta just scoffed at the scene, "Hah, it seems the Namek wants in on some of that action, well that tells us where one group of the panzies are, I wonder where that clown Kakarot is?"

Broly just waywardly looked at Vegeta, "Why, is this some sort of booty call?"

"Gah! You're as bad as Zarbon! No. I just want to see what kind of mess he's gotten himself into this time!"

Broly raised his left eyebrow at that, "Why would you assume he's in some sort of mess?"

"Because, wherever Kakarot is, there's always trouble! Now come on, let's find that idiot." Vegeta said, then started flying off on his own. Broly just shrugged and followed him.

After a few minutes of flying around trying to find Goku, Broly and Vegeta decided to land and look around on foot. Unfortunately, Broly lost Vegeta in the crowd of park-goers. Forgetting what he was doing, Broly decided to just go and find some entertainment. He walked around among a huge busy crowd of people wandering from one game stall to the next. He scanned the area for something to do, and spotted a rather strange sock puppet stand, he decided to investigate what was going on.

Broly walked up to the stand, it seemed they were already in the middle of a play. There were currently two sock puppets on the stage at the moment; one was a rather fat puppet who wore an orange and brown vest; a green feathered hat, green pants, and was sporting a straight brown moustache, the puppet was all but bald, with only a small patch of hair on the back of his head. The other puppet was some queer with a long elf-styled green hat, and a full green get-up, this puppet was wielding a sword.

The first puppet crudely moved its mouth as a badly imitated loud squeaky voice said; "Lamp oil, rope, bombs, you want it? It's yours my friend, as long as you have enough rupees!" The green one proceeded to explain that he wanted some bombs, but when he turned up short on the cost, the vest-wearing one shooed him away as he said, "Sorry Link, I can't give credit! Come back when you're a little...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Richer!" Broly got bored after that and walked away, he had to find something to do around here! Deciding to go without Vegeta, he queued up to get on the main attraction, the park's eponymous roller coaster. Even though he was a born fighter and practically surged with power, he had to inwardly gulp at the sheer size of the roller coaster.

Having lost Broly in the crowd, and giving up on his hope of finding Goku, Vegeta had come to the grim realization that he was completely lost. The mighty Prince of All Saiyans looked up at a nearby clock that read '1:30'. Giving one last unsatisfactory 'huff', he decided to find somewhere to take a nap until 7:00, so he could just meet up with everyone else at the entrance of the park and save looking around for them. He wandered aimlessly for a few more minutes before he caught sight of an on-park hotel! 'Perfect' he thought to himself, grinning. As he had bought all day passes for everyone, he was allowed a free stay in the hotel. After hurriedly walking up to the reception counter and getting his keys, he hastily went up the stairs to his room. Unknown to him..he was being followed...

With Cell and Trunks

"CELLLLLL!" Trunks yelled, desperately looking for the now missing android. When he earned questioning glances from other park-goers Trunks decided to lower his tone.

Trunks gave another scan around his immediate surroundings, "Cell, where the hell are you?"

Trunks began to worry, 'Damn! How could I have lost him? He could be causing random unnecessary destruction!' Then he came to his senses, remembering that this timeline's Cell had changed for the looked around a bit more before slapping himself on the forehead 'Duh! Ki-sense! I could find him really quickly with that!' Trunks stopped for a moment, concentrating as there were a lot of people around him. He found Cell's Ki signal, and immediately went to its direction.

Back with Vegeta

Vegeta laid on his bed, he was sprawled out across it, limbs barely under the covers. His armour had been hastily taken off, just sitting in a jumbled pile on a chair next to his bed. As he rolled over onto his stomach he unconsciously reached and scratched an itch on his ass. As his hand returned to its previous position, a shadow loomed over him. The shadow quickly moved and an arm covered Vegeta's mouth, another arm pinned his arms down. Finally, the creature pinned Vegeta's legs to the bed as it leaned over to his right ear. Vegeta sprung awake, but found himself unable to move! He went to yell out something, but found a cool white hand with black nails covering his mouth, a familiar android's voice whispered into his ear...

"You're going to give me some pleasure, right?"

Back with Trunks

"Cell! Don't think you can just run off wherever you want!" Trunks yelled to nobody in particular as he flew towards the hotel. He also sensed his father's Ki in the same building, which he found really weird.

With someone else...

Yamcha hurriedly ran up the stairs, taking two at a time. The minute he sensed this power level in the park, he had to come investigate. Figures that the one time he takes a day off, something happens! As he reached the top of the flight, he took a quick breather then scanned his left and right sides to make sure nobody else was in the hallway. Yamcha slowly tiptoed to one room where he was sensing two extremely high power levels. As he reached the hotel door, he cracked it open a little bit so he could see inside the room. He silently gasped at the sight of pure gold before him.

He mimicked his thoughts, "This is pure gold! Good thing I brought my camera." He whispered as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small video recorder camera.

After a few seconds of fidgeting with the lighting settings and such, he began to record what was happening in the room...

Trunks finally makes it to Vegeta's hotel room...

Trunks burst through Vegeta's outside hotel wall that overlooked the park, what he saw shocked him. There was Cell, having his way with Vegeta's anal cavity, and Vegeta wasn't fighting back! Cell realized he'd been caught by Trunks, and was in deep shit now. Fortunately for Cell, he was just finishing up with Vegeta, and as Vegeta fell unconscious, he moved himself off of him. Cell stood to his

full height and faced Trunks, ready to take whatever punishment Trunks had planned for him. What Trunks said next surprised him greatly.

"Cell! Move away from Vegeta and fuck me!" Cell looked absolutely flabbergasted at Trunks' proclamation, but who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth?

"Hmm...I'm interested in you now, not him! I can fuck him any time I feel like it!" Cell replied as he tossed Vegeta off the bed. Trunks landed on the bed and sized Cell up. Cell smirked at Trunks' determination, but decided to give him a little shock, to show who's in charge. He quickly grabbed Trunks and turned him around while taking his clothes off at the same time. Cell then magically procured a full sized onion and put it into Trunks' mouth.

Cell whispered darkly into Trunks' ear, "Bite down on this onion, I'm going in dry!"

Will Trunks bite down on the onion, as Cell suggested him to? Will Vegeta ever regain consciousness after such a pounding? Will Yamcha publish his video onto social networking sites? Will Broly ever become a legitimate character in this story? Will Frieza ever get his ketchup and mustard? Will Gohan, Zarbon and Piccolo ever get food? Doesn't Piccolo not even need to eat? Will Zarbon ever seduce Gohan? Does anyone even read these pointless chapter endings? Find out next time, on the next exciting chapter of Broken, Beaten, and Clogged!